Author: Carrie Genzel

H.O.P.E. – Help Other People Everyday

I have a special anniversary coming up in a few days, a day I think of as my actual “birthday.” It is the day, 13 days ago, that I decided to let go of the way I had been living my life and the day I asked for help. This day was a long time coming, and truthfully could have, and probably should have come earlier in my life, but it came when it was supposed to, and when I was ready, 100%, to do the work and find a solution a problem that was dead set on taking my life. A big part of how I became ready to make this big change came in part from a story a friend shared with me about his struggle with the same disease. The night he told me his story, it seemed like just that, an incredible true story of someone who had fought his way out of the darkness to now live in the light. A remarkable journey, and one I was quite in awe of, and it remained just an incredible story for months after that. But for whatever reason, those months later, on a dark dark night, a night I became very scared I may harm myself to stop my pain, I remembered that story, and for the first time I recognized myself in the beginning of that story, the part where there was pain and suffering, it resonated with my life then, and I realized that there may just be hope for someone like me, that maybe, just maybe, I too, like my friend, might have a fighting chance against my own head that wanted me dead.

I have never forgotten that story, and that gift that friend gave to me so many years ago, and I make it a point to give back that gift whenever I can, this blog is a huge part of that, but being of service, or helping others can come in many forms, it can be as simple as a smile or saying hello, or, perhaps just showing up. When we simply show up we show others that they matter, they’re worth it, and depending on where you’ve shown up to, you may also show someone who is there that there is hope, and they matter. You see, it was a little light of hope that kept me going, kept me moving to the light back then, it wasn’t very bright at first, but it was there, and it was enough to get me to keep putting one step in front of the other, even when my head told me I couldn’t, hope told me I could and to just do it and trust where that step would lead me.

Hope is something magical. You can’t see it on it’s own, but you can in others. You can see it in people’s eyes, in their actions, in their words, and when hope is there anything can happen. We can offer our hope to others by showing them we care, we see them, we hear them, by doing nice things, or by simply being there. In my early days, when things were still dark, sometimes just seeing someone else struggling with the same issues I was gave me hope, to know I wasn’t alone, and when someone with those same struggles had any kind of success, we all felt like we succeeded because even if it wasn’t our personal victory, we saw that it was possible, and we all kept going.

We all have the ability to help other people everyday, whether small or large. We can offer our heart, our truth, or kindness, and compassion, and you just never know how that could impact that person’s life, they may even be writing about it 13 years later from the other side of that pain and that struggle, grateful for the hope you shared with them on one important day. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel like you have something to offer others? Do you see that your struggles may give someone else comfort or hope? Have you received comfort or hope from someone else’s struggles? How? When we do something to help another individual it takes us outside of ourselves, even on our worst day, in fact, especially on our worst day, that time we spend to help another person becomes about them, and it takes focus off of ourselves, and many times, just by reaching out, even with a smile and a hello, that darkness we may be feeling lifts and our day becomes brighter. Every one of us has something to offer, we all have experiences that may be just what someone else needs to hear about, whether you’ve overcome them or not, it’s the commonality that helps us through a tough time, and sometimes, even with the intention of helping someone else, it helps us most of all.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Get into the habit of being grateful.

New blog is up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay interrupt

If You Feel Like You’re Sliding, Ground Yourself In Gratitude

Because even the smallest anchor can save you from the storm

There are seasons in life when the ground beneath your feet doesn’t feel steady. You’re doing everything “right” — showing up, trying hard, taking care of what needs you — and yet somehow you still feel yourself slipping. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Energetically.

It starts quietly.

A missed step here.
A spiraling thought there.
A wave of heaviness that settles on your chest and won’t explain itself.

Before you know it, you’re sliding — away from your center, away from your peace, away from the version of you who feels grounded and clear.

I know that feeling well.
We all do.

And when life gets like this, it’s easy to panic.
It’s easy to think: What’s wrong with me? Why am I regressing? Why can’t I hold it together?

But here’s the truth most of us forget:

A slide isn’t a failure.
It’s a signal.
And gratitude is your handhold back to solid ground.

The Quiet Descent We Don’t Notice Until We’re Already Falling

Life rarely knocks us off balance with one big moment. Instead, it’s the slow accumulation of little things:

  • A slight disappointment

  • A broken routine

  • A lingering insecurity

  • A change in circumstance

  • A comment that hits us the wrong way

  • A feeling we don’t want to admit we’re feeling

The slide is subtle.

It begins when we stop listening to ourselves.
When we stop resting.
When we stop checking in on our heart.
When we slip into autopilot because being present feels too heavy.

Suddenly, we’re overwhelmed. Or discouraged. Or disconnected from the person we know we truly are.

The human instinct is to claw our way back through force — push harder, work more, suppress the feeling, pretend it’s not happening.

But the way back isn’t through force.

It’s through grounding.
It’s through presence.
It’s through gratitude.

Gratitude Doesn’t Erase the Hard — It Stabilizes You Inside It

Gratitude gets misunderstood as a way to bypass pain.
But real gratitude doesn’t ignore how you feel.

It simply gives you something to hold onto while you feel it.

Gratitude says:

  • “Yes, this is hard… and here is something still supporting you.”

  • “Yes, you’re tired… and here is something still holding you steady.”

  • “Yes, you’re overwhelmed… and here is something still working in your favor.”

It returns your mind to what is real — not imagined fear, not spiraling emotion, not worst-case scenarios.

Gratitude pulls you out of the fall and reorients you toward truth.

It doesn’t invalidate your struggle.
It anchors you through it.

A Small Gratitude Can Shift a Heavy Heart

When you feel yourself sliding, you don’t need a miracle.
You don’t need a life overhaul.
You don’t need everything to be perfect.

You just need one grounding thought — one spark of gratitude — to interrupt the descent.

It can be as simple as:

  • “I’m grateful for the breath that steadies me.”

  • “I’m grateful for one person who loves me.”

  • “I’m grateful for the strength I don’t always give myself credit for.”

  • “I’m grateful for the lessons that shaped me.”

  • “I’m grateful for this moment of awareness — it means I can choose again.”

Gratitude is not about pretending everything is wonderful.
It’s about remembering that not everything is falling apart.

It’s the shift that gives you back your footing.

Gratitude Helps You Regain Perspective — and Power

When we slide emotionally, our mind tries to convince us that everything is collapsing. Gratitude counters that narrative with something more grounded and true.

It:

  • Softens the panic

  • Brings the nervous system down

  • Helps you see the full picture instead of the distorted one

  • Reconnects you to what’s working, not just what feels wrong

  • Reminds you of your resilience

  • Guides you back to your inner stability

Gratitude says:
“You’ve survived every version of life you thought would break you. You can survive this, too.”

And when you remember that, the slide slows.
When you feel that, the ground steadies.
When you breathe into it, you begin to rise again.

You’re Not Failing — You’re Feeling

There is nothing wrong with you for having moments where your footing slips.
There is nothing wrong with you for needing support.
There is nothing wrong with you for losing your center and finding it again.

Strong people slide.
Resilient people slide.
Healing people slide.

But grounded people know how to climb back.

Gratitude is your rope.
Your anchor.
Your reminder that, even in the wobble, you are held.

SLAY Reflection

S — Sit With Your Truth

Where have you been feeling emotionally unsteady or overwhelmed lately?

L — Look at the Pattern

What small shifts or stressors may have contributed to your sense of “sliding”?

A — Align With Your Values

What gratitude practice — even a simple one — can help you feel grounded in this moment?

Y — Yield to Growth

What becomes possible when you anchor yourself in gratitude instead of fear?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What gratitude has helped ground you when life feels unsteady?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to find their footing right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Every day may not be good but there is good in every day.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay worrying

Don’t Borrow From Tomorrow

Before walking this path I was rarely present. There were a few reasons for that. One, I hated my present circumstances and hated who I was, so I would often think about tomorrow because that seemed less dim and dark because it hadn’t happened yet. Two, I wasn’t ready to take action to change the circumstances I was in, blaming others for my misfortune or believing I was a bad person who didn’t deserve better, so my head would live in the future with the hope that things would just magically get better on their own. They never did. When I set out to find a better way of life I was told to live in the present, to only look so far as what was in front of my hands, that, at first, frightened me, because it was hard to escape my situation when you could only look that far, but I realized that much of my anxiety came from fear of the unknown, fear of what might come next, and fear that I would also stay stuck right where I was. When I could focus on what was in front of my hands life became easier, because I only needed to focus on what was right in front of me each day, every day. My thoughts still wanted to jump ahead to tomorrow so I had to train it to stay with me right where I was, but the more I practiced it the more I found comfort in only focusing on each moment as it came, each task, each step I needed to take to get through the day. I realized why I had not been living that way as I started out on this new approach, there’s no hiding from the truth when all you have is the truth in each moment.

Jumping ahead was a way to escape, a way to fantasize and hope that things would get better. I would keep borrowing from tomorrow, and the tomorrows after those thinking somehow I could just wish things better, but as the years went on and the darkness got bigger and thicker, that hope was harder to find and I would reach farther and farther into the future while I was dying in the present. It was like a smokescreen, so I wouldn’t notice how bad things had gotten, and how bad they still could get, my thinking would propel me forward hoping a magical solution would present itself somewhere out there in the days that had not yet happened. They never did. The solution that appeared came to me in the present, in the form of a person, who in the present, could see how much I was suffering, and how sick I truly was, and in that present moment shared his story with me, which, in that moment, I did not fully absorb, but on a night when it really mattered, on a night when it mattered most, that story became as present as anything could be. I saw myself in that story and I was suddenly pulled back into the present, lost, scared, and wondering what to do next, but the thinking of what comes next, held me in the present.

When we find ourselves in those moments things get really simple. It becomes about survival, and when you’re fighting for your life there’s no time for complications. For me, I took the only action I could in that moment, I picked up the phone and asked for help, that action set off a chain of events that are still happening today, 13 years later, and today, 13 years later, I still focus on what’s in front of my hands, especially when life gets busy and can seem overwhelming.

It’s OK to plan for the future, to have goals and things you are working toward, but don’t cheat today by living in the future, you never know what you might have missed while you were looking ahead, and what you missed may have been the key to attaining everything you ever wanted in a future, and more, maybe even beyond your wildest dreams. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have trouble staying present? Where does your mind typically go? Why do you think it doesn’t want to stay right where you are? What frightens you there? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you think living in the future offers you? What if you tried to live in the here and now? What if you only did what was in front of your hands? Do you see how simple your life would be? How much more grounded it would be? When you think about doing that how does it make you feel? Try it SLAYER, focus on what’s in front of your hands, don’t allow yourself to get ahead and go to places you have not yet been when there is work to do right here, trust that where you are is where you are meant to be, and that there is valuable information there that will help to get you to where you are supposed to go. Follow your hands and listen for the direction of where they should go next.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Scars simply mean you are stronger than whatever hurt you.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay wings

Slay Talk Live Video

Hey SLAYERS! Couldn’t join us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE, no problem, I got you covered, here’s what you missed!

Your Scars May Be Someone Else’s Hope

When I was living in my disease I used to think I was too damaged to be loved. I thought that if I let someone in, truly in, they would see my scars and see how ugly I was. When I looked at myself, all I could see was the scars, and I worked really hard to pretend everything was OK in the hopes that you wouldn’t notice them. What I didn’t realize was the longer I kept trying to hide them, and hide my pain, the more scars I was accumulating, and the harder it was to hide them. It wasn’t until I sought help that I realized that my scars weren’t ugly, or something to be ashamed of, that they were just a part of my story, and my story, and my scars, may be able to not only help me, but may also be able to help someone else.

Scars prove we are survivors, warriors, they are what’s left when the wound is closed, it’s evidence the pain was there, but a sign that the healing can begin, or has already happened. They don’t make us ugly, or unlovable, in fact they can show the world just how beautiful we are, and how strong our spirit is. To still be standing, to overcome whatever obstacles we have had to to be here today is a show of our strength and our ability to overcome the suffering and to let that pain become one of our brightest assets because it didn’t break us. The fact that we’ve come so far despite the scars from our past allows us to shine a beacon of hope to those out there who are still suffering, I know this is true, because 13 years ago someone else’s beacon caught me in it’s ray of light and it showed me that there might be another way, a way to live in the light.

A large part of this journey for me was accepting those scars I could not see. Those scars that ran deep inside, and went back in time as far as I could remember. Those scars that would get in my way of friendships, relationships, commitments, dreams and ambitions. I had to learn to love those scars as well, and if I couldn’t, at least acknowledge them and learn from them as I stepped forward on this new path of light. Those scars were the ones I needed to share the most, as they needed the most light. And, the more I did share them the more I realized that there were many like me who had those same scars and I learned to find the beauty in them, and, in myself. I used to think of myself as a warrior because I was a fighter and I could get through things on sheer willpower alone, but that’s not what makes a warrior strong, it’s about knowing those weak places inside of us, loving those places, and moving forward anyway, overcoming those parts that aren’t strong, or we’re not proud of, and accepting them all, loving them all, sharing them all, and as we do those scars, those scars we used to think of as ugly, or things we should hide, become the most beautiful things about us because they show our strength, or character, our ability to survive, and we can use that to offer hope to those who still think they need to hide their scars. Our scars offer hope.  SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you try to hide those parts of yourself that you think are ugly? Why do you hide them? Why are you afraid to let people see them? Do you think other people don’t have the scars that you do? Even if some may not, the fact that you have overcome your obstacles, have lived through your scars, proves how strong and how much of a survivor you are, which is nothing to be ashamed of. Those things we have survived in our lives, those things we’ve overcome are what make us the most beautiful, not only because we’ve survived them, but because we can show others it’s possible, we can use those things we thought were the worst of us to show others it’s possible to not only live through difficult circumstances or events, but that we can use them to grow, to connect, and to thrive on the other side of them. I believe we survive, not only for ourselves, but to show others the way to stop hiding the scars and things we used to because we now know the beauty and value they hold today, and they remind us of where we’ve come from, and where you don’t ever want to return to again.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! In union there is strength.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay ocean

Shared Suffering

When I was suffering from my disease the most I wasn’t sharing what was going on with anyone. I isolated and kept my pain to myself believing that no one would understand, would care, or that everyone else had their own problems so I need not burden them with mine. That rationale kept me sick for a long time, and got me sicker. The more I retreated and kept to myself the more those negative voices in my head became my truth, but it only took one person to share their shared suffering with me to give me enough hope to reach out for help.

I had always said I wasn’t a “group” person. I always preferred to do things one on one. Even growing up with my friends, I had my one or two girls I would hang out with, and we might do things with groups of people from time to time, but mainly it was just the two or three of us. That’s just how I had always been. So when I made the commitment to make positive changes in my life, and to seek help, it was suggested to me I join a support group and get to know other women who were walking the same path as I was. That struck fear in my right away. Me, join a group? That did not sound like anything I wanted to be a part of, but I had promised myself I would try everything that was suggested, so I took a deep breath and dove in. It was difficult for me at first, to sit there and try to be a part of the group, but the more I sat there the more I heard my story told through other people, and I realized that I wasn’t alone. I thought that no one thought and did the things I did, that was one of the reasons I never told anyone, I thought I was a horrible person and no one would understand, or even worse, would judge me for being who I was, but what I learned from sitting in those groups and finding the courage to share my truth is that I wasn’t the only one, in fact I found many others who thought and did things exactly how I had, which was shocking, but also a relief.

It’s been almost 13 years since I first stepped foot in a group meeting, and I still go today, in fact, I went morning I wrote this blog, and I was reminded what a gift it is that I found a group of people like myself who I can relate to, who remind me of who I was and who I have worked to be. Today, I look at that group as something I am blessed to be a part of, something I never would have imagined 13 years ago, but I now know the strength that that group has for me and many others out there who have found a strength with those who identify with them.

When I initially thought about starting a blog the idea was to create a safe place where we could share in our commonality, to create a community of like-minded people who were all striving to live in the light and be our best selves each day. I know there is a lot of power in shared suffering, especially when the focus isn’t on the suffering, but a solution. So for those out there who suffer alone in silence, I invite you to join us, I encourage you to reach out, to share your truth with us, we are not here to judge you, as we are no one to judge, we have all had our share of things we have done in the past that we may not be proud of, or even in our present lives, but it is a part of our journey, who we once were, and we have used those experiences to remind us of where we don’t want to go, of how far we’ve come, and to allow those seemingly negative experiences to bring us closer to those out there who once were just like us, and perhaps still are, but are striving to live in the light. You are not alone, unless you choose to be, but if you decide to come and join us, or others like us, we’ve got a place waiting for you and a love for you that you may not even have for yourself yet, that love comes from an understanding and a recognition that you are just like us. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you share your truth when things are not good with you? If you do, how does that help you? If you don’t, why not? What are you afraid of? Do you have people in your life who you can share your truth with, no matter what it is? If so, who are they? If not, how can you find people like that in your life? Do you see how finding people like yourself can help you to grow, learn, and give you a feeling of support? Do you feel there is strength in numbers? Go find your group SLAYER, even if that’s just us, we as a group are stronger than we are alone, if you’re looking for a place to belong, come SLAY with us.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you