We’ve all been there, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, replaying a conversation or event from the past, wishing we had responded differently in the moment or just shocked at what had transpired. We think to ourselves, let it go, but we can’t, it plays on a continuous loop in our head. Our mind is like the television or radio of our heart, when we get wounded, it replays it over and over like our mind is somehow trying to change the outcome or fix what happened to heal our hearts. What actually happens is it continues to hurt our heart as we replay the events over and over. We can, in those replays, learn from them, looking back at our part or how we could have reacted or responded differently, and when we are able to extract the lesson, or the good from them, we can let them go. In those instances when we played no part, we can work on letting them go so they no longer hurt us, we may not be able to delete these events from our heart fully, but we can find acceptance around them, or, put them aside to allow ourselves to heal.
Before walking my current path I never let anything go. I was a vessel full of resentments. I’d replay conversations over and over in my head, even out loud, alone, in my room, beating myself up for not saying something the right way, or for not replying at all, holding myself back in those painful or uncomfortable moments and reliving them over and over. They tainted any new relationships or opportunities I had to try new things, as I would walk in dragging those past experiences behind me like a ball and chain. I immediately assumed that anyone I was speaking with was just like the person I may be harboring a resentment against and would filter what was actually going on through my hurt, fear and untrusting heart. I began to bitterly isolate more and more. My heart did hurt, it hurt a lot, but I didn’t realize that I had the power to relieve much of that hurt by letting it go, by valuing my peace of mind over being right or angry. Once I put my own mind, body and spirit first, those loops and replays from my past didn’t seem so important to me, finding acceptance and responsibility where it was mine to take was. The truth was, it wasn’t always the other person’s fault, most of the time I played a role in that event in some way and by taking responsibility for my own actions it opened the door to letting much of those things go that weighed down my heart.
We can’t always delete what has been said and done to us, but we can stop replaying those events on a loop. We only harm ourselves by reliving those events, and instead of focusing on the hurt why not focus on the healing of the heart and learning to let things go. By letting things go we are not letting the other person or people off the hook, we’re letting ourselves off the hook by not allowing ourselves to continue the hurt after the actual harm was done, we can choose to look at the good that has come out of it, even a bad situation, if we choose to extract what we can use moving forward and letting the rest go. Stop the tape, look at things as they truly were, and throw it away. We may not be able to delete it totally, but we can put it on mute as we learn and grow from those experiences stored in our hearts. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you replay conversations and events repeatedly? What is the result of that? Does it help you? Does it harm you? Does it keep you stuck? What can you do to learn from those experiences and move on? Do you have trouble letting things go? Do you harbor a lot of resentments? How does that make you feel? Replaying traumatic or troubling events in our lives only harms us, and, if what we are replaying was malicious in intent, we allow those who wish us harm to continue to harm us by our own hand. Don’t get stuck in a loop, remove what good can and let go of the rest.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you