We’re all guilty of this, I know I still do this sometimes, but I used to always look at everyone else, their “perfect” lives and then look inward and think that my life was nothing but pain, darkness, and deception. I used to look at all of you and think you had it made, you’re lives were all great, beautiful, and full of love, and mine was lacking all of that. I would sit in the park, or mall, or movie theater, listening and watching everyone around me wondering how I got it so wrong, looking at all of the shiny happy people. I was judging my insides to all of your outsides.
Everyone has struggles, things they work to overcome every day, no one gets a free ride. Now, some of us have bigger obstacles than others, but no one gets off scot-free. We are all here to learn, that’s my belief, we learn from our mistakes, or lessons, and we also get the chance to help others learn. But I used to see life only as a series of punishments, relenting punishments, meant to beat me to the ground. I got up time and time again, but on total stubbornness and willpower, until that ran out. It wasn’t until I was ready to ask for help, to talk about what was going in inside of me, sharing that with others, that I started to realize that a lot of those shiny happy people I used to envy had just as much darkness in them as I did, they, like I, looked good from the outside, but were suffering inside. It’s funny that I didn’t relate that to my own life. I, from the outside, looked great, I knew how to put myself together, pull it together, so no one would ask any questions, but I was dying inside, why didn’t I think that some of those other shiny happy people I looked at with so much envy might be doing the same? I was listening to the negative voices in my head that were telling me I was garbage, and that it was only me that felt like I did, that no one else would understand. Completely untrue.
It’s easy, especially on social media, to scroll through your feed and look at all the pretty pictures of people doing fabulous things while we’re sitting in the darkness of depression or despair. But don’t believe the hype! Most people are only posting the best of the best of their lives, and putting even that through some extensive filters. You can’t believe everything you see. And, even if it were all true, it’s up to you to make the changes to bring some love and light into your life, to make your pictures, your life brighter and shinier.
The more I shared my darkness with others, who like me, were working to find the light in their lives, the more I connected to them, and others, and the light started to come in, I didn’t feel so alone, and I started to see that the people in front of me were also fighting battles I didn’t know about, life wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns for them and darkness and crap for me, we all had things to walk through, and if we did it together it got better. There were even rainbows and unicorns on some days.
Instead of looking around and envying what you’re seeing, take a moment to look inside, to think about the good, or find the good, in you, and your life. Talk to someone you trust about the darkness, share, connect with others who are like you, and you’ll start to see the pictures, those images of others, start to change to more realistic images, images that may even match more of your own. No one gets a free ride. we’re all here on a journey, and that journey always comes with curves, hills and valleys. And, trust that journey, surround yourself with others on the same journey, or one you’d like to be on, and know that no matter what you think of your insides, someone is probably looking at you thinking you’ve got something to envy, that you’ve got it going on, and you know what you do.
Don’t worry about what others are doing or what they’re showing the world, work on yourself, work on who you are, work on not what you show the world but what you can share with the world, when we’re living in our truth as our authentic selves, our insides start to match our outsides, and we begin to shine bright.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you judge your insides to other people’s outsides? What do you think they have that you don’t? What can you do to feel better about yourself? What can you do to connect with others? How can you take action on bringing some light inside? SLAYER, it’s been a while, but it’s time for another gratitude list, write down 10 things about yourself, that you cannot buy, that you are grateful for. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you