We have a habit of reaching one destination and immediately looking for the next one.
The promotion happens, and we start thinking about the next level.
We finally build something we’re proud of, and almost immediately notice everything that still needs work.
We create the stability we once craved, then wonder why life doesn’t feel more exciting.
We reach a milestone and barely give ourselves time to stand there before asking, What’s next?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more.
Dreams are supposed to evolve as we do. New possibilities appear because we’ve grown enough to see them. What once felt like the destination can eventually become the starting point for something bigger.
But sometimes, in our eagerness to keep moving, we forget to look around.
There may be things in your life today that an earlier version of you desperately wanted.
A relationship you once hoped you would find.
A career you weren’t sure you could build.
A home that once existed only in your imagination.
Peace you fought hard to create.
Boundaries you never thought you’d have the courage to set.
Confidence that arrived so gradually you barely noticed it becoming yours.
What once felt extraordinary can become ordinary simply because we’ve lived with it long enough.
That’s one of the strange things about progress.
We adapt.
The impossible becomes possible. The new becomes familiar. The achievement becomes part of everyday life.
And suddenly, instead of seeing how far we’ve come, we’re focused entirely on the distance still ahead.
Wanting more doesn’t make you ungrateful.
But constantly measuring your life against what you haven’t reached yet can make you overlook everything you already have.
You are allowed to have another dream.
You are allowed to want the next chapter.
You are allowed to keep building, stretching, changing, and imagining something beyond where you are today.
Just don’t let tomorrow steal your appreciation for today.
Every once in a while, turn around.
Look at the ground you’ve covered.
Remember the things you once hoped would happen that eventually did.
Remember the version of you who wondered whether you would ever make it this far.
There will always be another horizon if you keep looking for one.
But life isn’t only happening somewhere ahead of you.
Some of it is happening in the very place you once worked so hard to reach.
This is your reminder:
You don’t have to stop reaching for what’s next to appreciate how much of what you once wanted is already here.
There are some people whose absence seems to change the atmosphere.
Dolly Parton was one of those people.
When news of her passing came, the grief extended far beyond country music.
People who had never met her felt as though the world had lost something.
Something warm.
Something hopeful.
Something good.
Of course, Dolly left behind an extraordinary body of work. Songs that became part of our lives. Movies. Businesses. Awards. A career that spanned generations.
But as people began talking about her life, something else seemed to rise above all of it.
They talked about her kindness.
Her generosity.
Her humor.
Her ability to remain unmistakably herself.
They talked about the children who received books because she believed literacy could change a life. The families she helped after disasters. The medical research she supported. The community she never forgot after the rest of the world learned her name.
And perhaps most remarkably, people from vastly different backgrounds and beliefs felt connected to her.
She seemed to understand something we desperately need to remember.
You don’t have to become harder because the world is hard.
You don’t have to become cruel because cruelty exists.
You don’t have to dim someone else’s light for yours to shine.
You can simply decide that wherever you go, whatever you have, and whoever you encounter, you will try to leave things a little better than you found them.
That may be one of the most meaningful legacies any of us can leave.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
WHEN SOMEONE LEAVES, WE LEARN WHAT REALLY MATTERED
Death has a strange way of editing a life.
Suddenly, so many things we spend our days worrying about become very small.
The disagreements.
The mistakes.
The things we owned.
The status we chased.
The opinions we tried so hard to control.
What remains are the stories.
Someone remembers that you encouraged them when they were struggling.
Someone remembers that you made them laugh.
Someone remembers that you showed up.
Someone remembers that you believed in them before they believed in themselves.
Someone remembers how you treated them when there was absolutely nothing you could gain from being kind.
That is the part of us that continues traveling after we leave the room.
And eventually, after we leave this life.
KINDNESS IS NOT THE SAME AS WEAKNESS
Somewhere along the way, kindness began to be mistaken for softness.
As though strong people must be hardened.
As though success requires ruthlessness.
As though having boundaries and having compassion cannot exist in the same person.
Dolly Parton certainly challenged that idea.
She built an enormous career and became a formidable businesswoman while maintaining a public identity rooted in warmth, humor, and generosity.
She didn’t have to make herself smaller to be kind.
And neither do we.
You can be ambitious and compassionate.
You can have boundaries and still have empathy.
You can stand up for yourself without tearing someone else down.
You can disagree without becoming cruel.
Kindness doesn’t require surrendering your strength.
Sometimes kindness is how you choose to use it.
YOU DON’T NEED A FORTUNE TO BE GENEROUS
It is easy to look at someone with enormous resources and think generosity belongs to people who have something substantial to give.
But money is only one form of generosity.
You can be generous with your time.
Your attention.
Your patience.
Your encouragement.
Your knowledge.
Your forgiveness.
Your connections.
Your willingness to listen.
Your willingness to notice.
Sometimes generosity is recommending someone for an opportunity.
Sometimes it’s checking on the friend who has gone unusually quiet.
Sometimes it’s letting someone merge into traffic.
Sometimes it’s telling a stranger you love their shoes because you thought it and decided not to keep the kindness trapped inside your head.
You don’t need a foundation to change someone’s day.
You just have to recognize that you have something to give.
WHAT YOU PUT INTO PEOPLE TRAVELS
We rarely get to see the full reach of what we give another person.
That’s one of the beautiful mysteries of kindness.
Dolly started the Imagination Library in her home county in Tennessee because her father couldn’t read or write.
That deeply personal act grew far beyond the place where it began. By the time of her death, the program had distributed hundreds of millions of books to children around the world.
One idea traveled.
Our smaller acts travel too.
Maybe you encourage someone who was about to give up.
They keep going.
Years later, they encourage someone else.
Maybe you show compassion to someone during the worst period of their life.
They remember what that felt like and offer it to another person when they’re struggling.
We may never meet the people ultimately affected by the kindness we give today.
That doesn’t make the impact any less real.
YOU CAN DISAGREE WITHOUT BECOMING CRUEL
We could use this reminder right now.
We live in a culture that increasingly encourages us to see people as teams.
Agree with me, and you’re good.
Disagree with me, and you’re bad.
And once we’ve decided someone belongs to the wrong category, we begin giving ourselves permission to treat them in ways we would otherwise recognize as cruel.
But another person’s beliefs do not determine our character.
We do.
Compassion does not require agreement.
Kindness does not require endorsement.
Decency does not require sameness.
You can stand firmly in what you believe without celebrating another person’s pain.
You can challenge someone’s ideas without trying to destroy their humanity.
You can refuse to add more cruelty to a world already overflowing with it.
That choice belongs to you.
LOOK FOR THE LIGHT WITHOUT DENYING THE DARK
Choosing light doesn’t mean pretending darkness isn’t there.
It isn’t toxic positivity.
It isn’t ignoring suffering.
It isn’t smiling through something that needs to be confronted.
Sometimes the people who choose light most deliberately are the people who understand darkness very well.
They’ve experienced loss.
Disappointment.
Fear.
Heartbreak.
Failure.
They simply decided those experiences would not determine what they contributed to the world.
You can acknowledge everything that is wrong and still participate in what is right.
You can grieve and still love.
You can be disappointed and still hope.
You can know exactly how cruel people can be and decide you will not become one of them.
Looking toward the light doesn’t mean you don’t see the darkness.
It means you have decided which direction you want to walk.
YOUR COMMUNITY IS PART OF YOUR LEGACY
We often think about legacy as something grand.
Something reserved for famous people.
A building with your name on it.
A foundation.
A body of work.
Something history remembers.
But most legacies will never appear in a history book.
They live in families.
Friendships.
Neighborhoods.
Workplaces.
Communities.
They live in the people who encountered us.
You are creating your legacy every time you walk into a room.
Every time you decide whether to encourage or discourage.
Every time you have the opportunity to help.
Every time someone trusts you with their vulnerability.
Every time you decide what kind of energy you will add to a difficult situation.
You don’t have to change the entire world.
You can change your corner of it.
And if enough people did that, imagine what kind of world those corners would create.
HOW YOU MAKE PEOPLE FEEL MATTERS
We spend so much of our lives thinking about what we are accomplishing.
What are we building?
What are we earning?
Where are we going?
What comes next?
Those things matter.
But there is another question worth asking.
How do people feel after they’ve been around you?
Do they feel seen?
Encouraged?
Safe?
Inspired?
Lighter?
Or do they leave feeling smaller than when they arrived?
None of us will get this right every time.
We have bad days.
We lose patience.
We say things we regret.
We are human beings learning as we go.
But we can become conscious of what we leave behind in people.
Because long after someone forgets the details of a conversation, they may remember what happened inside them because of it.
LEAVE PEOPLE BETTER THAN YOU FOUND THEM
You will not be able to help everyone.
You won’t always know what someone needs.
And sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is walk away.
Leaving people better doesn’t mean rescuing them.
It doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.
It doesn’t mean tolerating behavior that hurts you.
It means that whenever possible, you don’t deliberately leave unnecessary damage behind.
You don’t humiliate someone simply because you can.
You don’t use someone’s vulnerability as ammunition later.
You don’t make someone smaller so you can feel bigger.
And when you have the opportunity to offer encouragement, compassion, knowledge, laughter, opportunity or hope, you give what you can.
A meaningful life isn’t measured only by what you accomplish.
It’s also measured by what you leave behind in people.
Dolly Parton left an extraordinary amount behind.
Her music will continue.
Her work will continue.
And perhaps the best way to honor a person whose life reminded so many people of the power of kindness.
We can practice it.
We can become a little more generous.
A little less eager to judge.
A little quicker to encourage.
A little more willing to help.
A little more conscious of what we’re putting into the people around us.
Maybe the greatest tribute we can offer someone who spent a lifetime putting more kindness into the world isn’t simply to mourn that their light is gone.
It’s to pick some of it up and carry it forward.
SLAY REFLECTION
S — See What You Leave Behind
How do you think people feel after spending time with you? What do you want them to feel?
L — Look at What You Have to Give
What do you already have that could make someone’s life a little better? Your time, encouragement, knowledge, attention, resources, or simply your kindness?
A — Add What You Want More Of
What do you wish there were more of in the world? Compassion? Patience? Generosity? Understanding? How can you contribute some of it yourself?
Y — Your Next Step
Choose one deliberate act of kindness this week without expecting recognition or anything in return.
Leave one person, one place, or one small corner of your community better than you found it.
CALL TO ACTION: JOIN THE CONVERSATION
I’d love to hear from you.
What do you hope people remember about the way you made them feel?
And who is someone who left you better than they found you?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Tell us about the person whose kindness, generosity or encouragement stayed with you long after the moment passed.
And if Dolly’s life meant something to you, perhaps the best way to honor what she represented is to carry a little of it forward.
Let’s be honest: some days happiness wraps around you like a warm blanket. Other days, it’s a threadbare flag you have to raise yourself, even when the wind isn’t blowing.
Sometimes, happy arrives uninvited. A smile you didn’t expect. A moment of peace. Laughter that catches you by surprise. These are the days when joy feels natural. Effortless. When your heart feels light and your worries take a back seat. These are the days you wish you could bottle.
But what about the other days? The days when you wake up heavy, when your body aches with exhaustion, when your mind is cluttered and your heart is a storm cloud? What then?
That’s when happy becomes a choice. And yes, sometimes, it’s the hardest choice you can make.
Feel It When It Comes
We all have seasons where happiness seems to bloom everywhere—inside us and around us. These are the easy days. The ones where gratitude feels automatic, and your smile is real. And when those moments show up?
Let them.
Don’t question the joy. Don’t wait for the other shoe to drop. Let yourself feel good without guilt. You don’t have to earn happiness for it to be valid. It’s not a reward, it’s a gift. And you are allowed to receive it, just because you exist.
Too many of us hesitate to feel joy because we’re afraid it won’t last. But here’s the truth: happiness isn’t permanent, but it is powerful. And when it comes naturally, lean in. Let it soak into your skin.
Choose It When It Feels Out of Reach
And then there are the other days.
The days when happy feels like a stranger.
That’s when you make the choice to reach for it anyway. You choose to smile. To take a walk. To text a friend. To wash your hair. To play a song that makes you sway just a little. To say thank you, even when you’re not quite feeling it.
This isn’t toxic positivity. This is resilience. This is saying, “I know I feel low, but I’m going to plant the seeds of joy anyway.” And over time, those seeds bloom.
Happiness isn’t about denying what hurts. It’s about refusing to let the hurt define the whole day.
You Are Allowed to Want More
Here’s a powerful truth: you don’t have to settle. Not for a life that keeps you stuck. Not for a mindset that keeps you small. You are allowed to chase joy. To design a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good from the outside.
And when you can’t find it? You can choose it. You can create it.
Even if that looks like a slow morning with coffee and quiet.
You are not failing if you have to fight for your happiness. That’s not weakness. That’s strength.
Some Days It’s Both
Sometimes happy is a breeze. Sometimes it’s a battle.
And sometimes, it’s a little bit of both.
Either way, you have the power to feel it, create it, or reach for it. You don’t have to wait for life to feel perfect before you allow yourself to be happy. Let it show up in small ways. Invite it in. And when it comes, don’t push it away.
You are allowed to feel good. You are allowed to choose good. You are allowed to live a life that includes joy.
Even on the hard days.
SLAY Reflection
When was the last time you felt joy without effort? What triggered it?
Do you feel guilty when you’re happy? Why?
What’s one small way you could choose joy today?
How can you remind yourself that happiness isn’t a reward?
What would your day look like if you let joy take up more space?
S-L-A-Y:
See where joy naturally shows up in your day
Let yourself lean into those moments
Acknowledge the hard feelings, but don’t stay stuck in them
You have the power to choose happiness, even in small ways
Call to Action: Join the Conversation I’d love to hear from you. What does choosing happiness look like for you right now? Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel joy, send this to them. Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.
There comes a time in life when you realize—not every space is meant for you. Not every conversation needs your input. And not every audience is ready—or even willing—to hear what you have to say.
For years, I believed I had to be everywhere, say everything, and make sure I was heard. Even if it meant squeezing into spaces that didn’t feel right. I thought that was how you made an impact. Be louder. Be present. Be seen.
But experience has taught me something far more powerful:
True empowerment comes from going where your voice is needed, not where it’s merely tolerated.
It’s a shift from trying to fit in to standing tall where you belong.
The Myth of Being Everywhere
We’re bombarded with messages telling us to “show up everywhere.” Post more. Be visible. Stay relevant. Hustle harder.
But visibility does not equal value.
When you stretch yourself thin trying to be in all the rooms, you lose something essential—clarity. The more you chase attention, the more disconnected you become from your true message.
Impact isn’t about volume. It’s about resonance.
The power of your voice isn’t in how many people hear it, but in who hears it and how deeply it connects.
Quality over quantity. Alignment over attention.
Your voice deserves to be heard in spaces where it is valued—where it can make a real difference.
How to Know Where Your Voice is Needed
Not every invitation is an opportunity.
Some spaces want what you represent, not who you are. You might be included to check a box, but your actual voice? It’s sidelined.
That’s not your room.
Ask yourself:
Does this space genuinely value my voice?
Is my presence here aligned with my purpose?
Am I heard and respected, not just seen?
If the answers are no, it’s not your place to pour your energy into.
You deserve spaces where your contribution matters.
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
It’s human nature to stick with the familiar. But sometimes, the places we’ve outgrown are holding us back.
Finding where your voice is needed often means stepping outside your comfort zone.
Try new communities. Enter unfamiliar conversations. Build fresh connections.
You might be surprised how much common ground you discover when you truly see and hear others. Different backgrounds, same dreams. Different paths, shared values.
That’s where genuine community begins—with curiosity, openness, and the courage to explore beyond what feels safe.
Building Meaningful Connections
As we grow, so do our relationships. Not everyone who started with you is meant to go the distance. And that’s okay.
Invest in connections that:
Encourage your growth
Challenge you in meaningful ways
Support and celebrate your voice
The right connections won’t just tolerate your voice. They’ll make space for it. They’ll value it. They’ll help you carry it further.
The Power of Walking Away
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is knowing when to walk away.
Leaving a space that doesn’t align with you isn’t failure. It’s wisdom.
When you walk away from what no longer serves you, you create space for what does. For the right people. For meaningful conversations. For opportunities that honor your voice.
Walking away is a declaration of self-worth. You’re not here to prove yourself in rooms that don’t value you. The right spaces will invite you in, not because they have to, but because they want to hear what you have to say.
The Ripple Effect of Showing Up Authentically
When you focus your energy where it’s truly needed, you create a ripple effect.
You may not always see the immediate impact, but:
A story you share helps someone feel less alone.
A truth you speak encourages someone else to find their voice.
A perspective you offer opens minds and hearts.
Impact isn’t always loud.
It’s the quiet strength of showing up authentically, in the right spaces, at the right time. That’s where real change begins.
State of Slay™: The Return
Even as I stepped away to focus on other parts of my life, the State of Slay™ blogs never truly went silent. More people have been reaching out, telling me they’ve been revisiting old posts, finding guidance, connection, and reminders that they’re not alone.
And as you may have noticed, I’ve quietly been writing and uploading new posts over the last few weeks—preparing for this very moment.
So today, on the 8th anniversary of the launch of State of Slay™, I want to say it loud and clear: I’m back.
This next chapter will bring new energy, fresh stories, and the same commitment to real, vulnerable dialogue that started it all. If you’ve been wondering when the blogs would return, this is your answer.
I’m here. My voice is here. State of Slay™ is here.
Final Thoughts: Go Where Your Voice is Needed
You don’t need to force yourself into spaces that don’t align with you.
Instead:
Seek out rooms that resonate with your values.
Build relationships that amplify your voice.
Step out of your comfort zone to discover new communities.
Know when to walk away from what no longer fits.
Speak your truth where it will be heard and valued.
When you go where your voice is needed, you don’t just create change—you create connection, fulfillment, and purpose.
That’s where the real magic happens.
SLAY OF THE DAY
Are you investing energy in spaces that no longer align with your purpose?
What communities or conversations feel aligned with your voice?
When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone to explore something new?
Who in your life helps amplify your voice?
What’s one intentional step you can take today to bring your voice where it’s needed?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you. Where is your voice needed right now? Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s support each other in finding those spaces.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder—send it their way. We rise when we lift each other up.
Slayers, I’ve got something super special to share with you today! I had the absolute joy and honor of being a guest on the Girls Talk Healthy Aging podcast, and the episode just dropped!
🎙️ Episode 80: “Discovering Your True Self: With Carrie Genzel” Hosted by the dynamic duo Alli Kerr and Shawna Kaminski, this conversation dives deep into authenticity, self-discovery, and the journey of aligning with who you truly are.
We talked about embracing our evolving selves, shedding the labels and expectations that no longer serve us, and how I’ve navigated my own path—personally, spiritually, and creatively. It’s raw, real, and full of the kind of honest talk I know you come here for.
Whether you’re in a season of reinvention or simply curious about the ways we grow and show up fully in our truth, this episode is for YOU.
👇 YouTube version embedded right here so you can watch/listen:
I’m so grateful to Alli and Shawna for holding such a beautiful, open space and allowing me to share my story. Give it a listen, and if it speaks to you, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Hey SLAYERS, September 5 – 11th is Suicide Prevention Week and I am always honored to work with Attitudes In Reverse® in spreading a message of good mental health and suicide prevention. I was recently asked while Zooming into an AIR event what I do to combat my fear. Please find my response below:
SLAYERS it’s been three years since I started this blog with my first post Gratitude Is The Best Attitude. We have been through a lot together in these 3 years, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve hugged, we’ve listened, we’ve supported each other, and all of you have enriched my life and filled my heart for every one of those days.
THANK YOU for SLAYING with me as we walk this road, all we have is today and today we are stronger because we have chosen not to walk alone and together we are stronger.
There was a time when I woke up dreading the day ahead—angry that I had even woken up. I wasn’t looking for a new start. I wasn’t searching for light. I was living in a cycle of silent suffering, hoping that sleep would take me away from it all. But hoping isn’t a plan. Hoping isn’t healing.
It wasn’t until desperation pushed me to the edge that I found the courage to ask for help. That moment—the moment of deciding to share my truth—was my first act of gratitude, even if I didn’t see it that way at the time. It was gratitude for my own life, for a future I wasn’t sure I deserved but was willing to fight for.
Bookending the Day
When I reflect on how I stay positive—especially during challenging or uncertain times—I always come back to this: I begin and end my day with gratitude. It’s not complicated. Sometimes it’s a list. Sometimes it’s a pause and a silent thought. But it anchors me.
Throughout the day, life happens. Stress, frustration, and setbacks can pull me off course. But when I revisit my gratitude list—or take a small positive action—I’m reminded of what matters. At the end of the day, I say thank you. For everything. For the lessons, for the moments of peace, for the people, for the growth.
Living with Gratitude
Starting and ending the day with gratitude doesn’t guarantee a perfect day, but it sets the tone. It creates space for positivity. It invites me to see beyond the challenges.
When I wake up with dread, I pause and ask myself what I’m grateful for. Even on the toughest days, there’s something—a sliver of light, a moment of connection, a breath. And when I plan something to look forward to after a difficult task, it keeps me anchored in possibility.
Living a life of gratitude means being intentional. It means creating moments of thankfulness and allowing them to guide us. It’s not about ignoring hardship—it’s about finding resilience through gratitude.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise
Do you tend to start your day in a positive or negative mood?
What triggers a negative start for you?
How can you turn it around?
Have you tried gratitude practices before? If so, what worked? What didn’t?
Do you allow a negative morning to affect your entire day?
How can you incorporate gratitude into your routine to shift your mindset?
Do you consciously end your day with thankfulness? Why or why not?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you. What’s one thing you’re grateful for today? Share it in the comments. Let’s uplift each other with gratitude.
And if you know someone struggling to find positivity, send this to them. Sometimes, a simple “thank you” can be the spark they need.
