inner strength

Sometimes You Face Difficulties Because You’re Doing Something Right

There’s a belief many of us carry without ever questioning it:
If things feel hard, we must be doing something wrong.

So when resistance shows up — discomfort, fear, pushback, uncertainty — we assume it’s a sign to turn around. To retreat. To go back to what’s familiar.

But sometimes, the opposite is true.

Sometimes you face difficulties not because you’re off track — but because you’re finally on the right one.

Especially when you’re choosing something new. Something honest. Something that honors who you actually are instead of who you’ve always been expected to be.

Familiar Paths Feel Easier Because They’re Familiar Not Because They’re Right

We are creatures of habit.

We do what we’ve been taught.
What we’ve seen modeled.
What feels easiest in the moment.

Even when those patterns don’t serve us, they feel safe because they’re known.

But “easy” doesn’t always mean aligned.
And “comfortable” doesn’t always mean healthy.

Sometimes the path that looks smooth is the one leading you further away from yourself. And the path that feels difficult is the one asking you to grow into someone new.

New choices almost always come with new discomfort — not because they’re wrong, but because they’re unfamiliar.

The Cost of Taking the Easier Softer Route

For a long time, I chose what felt easier on the surface.

I avoided conflict.
I tried to minimize attention.
I looked for solutions that required the least resistance.

But those choices didn’t bring peace — they brought consequences.

I didn’t get what I needed.
And when I did, it often came through manipulation, avoidance, or dishonesty with myself. I ended up doing far more emotional labor trying to maintain something that never truly fit.

What I thought was “keeping the peace” was actually betraying myself.

And over time, that betrayal showed up as anxiety, resentment, and exhaustion.

People Pleasing Is a Survival Strategy Not a Solution

Many of us learn early on that being agreeable feels safer than being honest.

So we prioritize other people’s comfort.
We swallow our needs.
We tell ourselves it’s not worth the trouble.

But unspoken needs don’t disappear — they turn inward.

They become anger.
They become sadness.
They become numbness.

And eventually, the weight of living out of alignment becomes unbearable.

That’s often the moment when people turn to outside fixes — anything to quiet the voice inside that says, This isn’t right.

I did too.

I tried to numb myself.
To silence the discomfort.
To convince myself I could stay somewhere I didn’t belong.

But I couldn’t — because I wasn’t supposed to be there.

The Truth Always Finds You

We can hide from the truth for a while — sometimes even for years.

But deep down, we always know when we’re not living authentically. When we’re shrinking. When we’re dimming ourselves to fit into spaces that don’t allow us to grow.

And when we finally start making decisions that honor our truth — maybe for the first time — the difficulties that arise can feel overwhelming.

But those difficulties aren’t punishments.

They’re signs that you’re walking where you’ve never walked before.

New Difficulties Mean New Growth

The challenges that show up when you choose yourself feel hard because they’re unfamiliar — not because they’re wrong.

They require courage instead of compliance.
Honesty instead of avoidance.
Boundaries instead of people pleasing.

But here’s what matters:
These difficulties are far healthier than the ones you lived with while betraying yourself.

Fear shows up when we’re letting go of old versions of ourselves.
Uncertainty shows up when we’re stepping into something real.

That doesn’t mean stop.

It means keep going.

Doing the Right Thing Doesn’t Mean Everyone Will Understand

Choosing what’s right for you doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. It means you care enough about your life to live it truthfully.

If you’ve chosen the right people, they’ll want the best for you — even when it’s uncomfortable. They may walk beside you through the difficulty.

And if they don’t — that tells you something too.

Sometimes growth requires moving forward without everyone coming along.
Or continuing relationships in a different way.

That isn’t cruelty.
It’s clarity.

Only You Can Walk the Path That’s Meant for You

Only you know what’s right for your life.
Only you can do the work to build it.
Only you can walk through the fear that stands between where you are and where you’re meant to be.

Difficulties don’t always mean danger.
Sometimes they mean direction.

So suit up, SLAYER.
Step onto the path that asks more of you — because it gives more back.

You’re not alone.
Plenty of us are walking beside you.
And we’re cheering you on.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s reflect, SLAYER:

S: Where in your life are you choosing what’s familiar instead of what’s true?
L: When have you ignored your needs to avoid discomfort or conflict?
A: What difficulty might actually be a sign that you’re on the right path?
Y: What would honoring yourself look like today — even if it feels uncomfortable?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Where have you faced difficulty because you were finally doing something right?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s questioning their path because it feels hard, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Forgive Your Monsters, Don’t Let Them Take Anymore, They’ve Taken Enough

There are monsters that live in our past. Some still haunt our present. They take from us. Our joy. Our confidence. Our peace. But here’s the truth:

They only keep taking if we keep letting them.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean making excuses. It doesn’t mean forgetting. It means cutting the cord. Reclaiming your power. Choosing not to carry someone else’s damage on your back any longer.

You Can Forgive Without Forgetting

When I started to heal, I was told I needed to get honest—rigorously honest. That included facing the monsters I had let into my life. And yes, some were people who had deeply wronged me. Others were habits, patterns, or situations I kept returning to even when they hurt.

What I realized? I had played a part in letting some of those monsters in.

Whether it was staying in toxic relationships, seeking validation in the wrong places, or betraying myself to avoid being alone—I had to own my side of the story.

That doesn’t excuse the harm. But it gave me the clarity I needed to say: enough. And the strength to walk away.

You Are Not Powerless Unless You Say You Are

Monsters thrive in silence. In secrecy. In shame.

They feed off the energy we give them—even if it’s hate, resentment, or pain.

But we have a choice.

You can take that pain and turn it into wisdom. You can use your past to protect your future. You can decide that today, right now, you will no longer allow what broke you to define you.

Forgiveness is not a gift to them. It’s a gift to you. It’s how you say:

“You no longer get to live rent-free in my mind.”

The Monsters Don’t Disappear, But Their Power Can

For many of us, the past still whispers. The memories still echo. That’s okay.

The goal isn’t to erase it. The goal is to disarm it.

To say:

  • I see what happened.
  • I know how it shaped me.
  • And I am choosing to rise anyway.

That is real power.

You can carry the lesson without reliving the nightmare. You can remember without re-opening the wound. You can forgive the monster and protect the warrior you’re becoming.

Take Your Power Back

If your monsters still show up in your thoughts, your choices, your relationships—ask yourself why. What are they still taking? And more importantly, what are you ready to take back?

You don’t need to justify their behavior to forgive them.

You just need to stop letting them lead your life.

Forgive what you can. Accept what you must. And then: leave the rest.

There is no space in this new chapter for what tried to destroy you.

You are the author now. And your story gets to look different.

Let your purpose lead. It knows the way.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Who or what still holds power over your peace?
  2. In what ways have you given your energy to the past?
  3. How might forgiveness free you, not them?
  4. What lessons can you carry without carrying the pain?
  5. What boundary or action will help you reclaim your power today?

S – Stop giving power to the past
L – Look at your part with honesty, not blame
A – Accept what you can’t change, change what you can
Y – Yield to growth and move forward free

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What have you learned by forgiving someone who hurt you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in their pain, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

If You’re Strong Enough To Destroy Something, You’re Strong Enough To Repair It

There was a time when I believed strength meant walking away.
Ending things.
Burning it all down before anyone could get too close.

And I had a lot of strength.

But I didn’t always use it for good.

Especially toward the end of certain chapters in my life, I used my strength to destroy:
Relationships. Opportunities. Myself.

Sometimes intentionally.
Other times, impulsively.
But almost always out of fear.

Fear of being exposed.
Fear of being seen as damaged.
Fear of being me.

So I built walls. I pushed people out. I burned bridges and convinced myself I didn’t have the strength to fix any of it.

But that wasn’t true.

What I didn’t have was the humility to try.

I had the strength all along. I just didn’t yet understand what real strength looked like.

Because real strength doesn’t lie in the destruction.
It lives in the repair.

It’s easy to tear something down.
It’s much harder to own your part and build something better in its place.

But that’s where we grow.
That’s where healing happens.

When I began to get better, I slowly learned how to channel that strength in a new direction.
One that looked more like forgiveness.
Like compassion.
Like showing up for myself and the people I loved.

I stopped using my strength to protect the wound and started using it to heal.

Here’s what else I learned:

That voice in your head—the one that says you’re “stronger alone” or that you’re “cutting off what doesn’t serve you”—sometimes it’s not wisdom.

Sometimes it’s fear talking.
Sometimes it’s pain pretending to be power.

There’s a difference between walking away to honor yourself and walking away to avoid yourself.

I’ve done both.

I’ve ended relationships and convinced myself I was doing the strong thing… when really, I was just afraid to look at the part I played in their breakdown.

It’s easier to point the finger.
It’s harder to say, “I chose this dynamic.”
“I allowed this behavior.”
“I contributed to the pain.”

But that’s the work.

That’s the kind of strength that transforms everything.

And here’s the beautiful part:

The more we practice using our strength to build, the more of it we gain.
Just like self-esteem comes from estimable acts, our inner strength multiplies when we use it for repair, growth, and truth.

We become stronger when we’re brave enough to face ourselves.

To say the hard thing.
To make the amends.
To walk toward the mess instead of away from it.

Because if you’re strong enough to destroy something…

You’re strong enough to repair it.

SLAY Reflection

S – SHOW UP: Are you using your strength to avoid, escape, or destroy? Or to face, heal, and rebuild?

L – LEARN: What’s one moment where your strength showed up in a way that surprised you?

A – ACCEPT: Can you accept that real strength might look like softness, honesty, or vulnerability?

Y – YOU MATTER: What’s something broken that you still have the power to repair?

BONUS: What could change if you used your strength for good—starting today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever used your strength to heal something you once damaged?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling with what it means to be strong, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Falling Down Is Part Of The Process

When we step into a new chapter—filled with intention, purpose, and growth—we often expect things to go smoothly. We’re showing up, doing the work, making better choices… shouldn’t that mean we’re past the hard parts?

Not quite.

Falling down is part of the process. Always has been. Always will be.

I’ve learned more from my falls than I ever have from my wins. Those stumbles gave me new tools, revealed blind spots, and taught me that even when there isn’t a clear solution, I’m strong enough to get back up again.

Falling isn’t failure—it’s feedback.

Setbacks Aren’t Stop Signs

It’s easy to feel discouraged when things don’t go the way we hoped.

When you’re working so hard to be better, live authentically, and move forward, setbacks can feel personal. It’s frustrating. It’s deflating. But here’s the truth: setbacks don’t mean you’re off track—they mean you’re on it.

Every fall is an opportunity to pause, reflect, and ask:

  • What did this moment teach me?

  • What was my part in it?

  • What new tool or insight can I take forward from here?

If everything went perfectly all the time, we wouldn’t learn much. We wouldn’t build strength. And we definitely wouldn’t develop the resilience we need for long-term growth.

Every Fall Is Just Information

Let’s take the drama out of the fall.

Not every stumble is a crisis. Not every setback is a disaster. Sometimes it’s just a signpost that says: Not this way. Try another.

When we start to look at our missteps as information—not identity—we take back our power.

A fall doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means something needed your attention.

Maybe you weren’t doing what you needed to do.
Maybe you missed a red flag.
Maybe the lesson was simply about learning how to stand back up.

Whatever the reason, the fall isn’t the end. It’s just part of the path.

Falling Forward with Intention

Some of the most painful moments in my life were the result of my own choices—or lack of action. But with each one, I had a decision to make: let the fall define me, or let it refine me.

If we ignore what the fall is trying to teach us, it’s likely we’ll end up back in that same spot—only this time it’ll hurt more, because we’ll know better.

But if we take the time to reflect, gather what we need, and move forward differently, we turn what was once a painful experience into a stepping stone toward something better.

Keep Showing Up

The key isn’t avoiding every fall. That’s impossible. The key is learning how to rise, gather the lesson, and keep moving.

No matter how hard you fall, you can get back up.
No matter how lost you feel, you can find your way again.

Eventually, you’ll recognize the patterns. You’ll learn where the pitfalls are. And you’ll start to navigate the path with more confidence.

Falling doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re growing.
And growth is never a straight line—it’s a beautifully messy journey.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s reflect together, SLAYER:

  • S: What’s your usual reaction when you fall—do you give up or get curious?

  • L: Can you recall a setback that led to growth or a better decision later on?

  • A: How can you start viewing setbacks as information rather than personal failure?

  • Y: What’s one fall you can reframe today as a stepping stone instead of a stopping point?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
When was the last time you fell, and what did it teach you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who feels defeated by a recent fall, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Peaceful Warrior

I was sitting across from someone the other day who was wearing a cap that said Peaceful Warrior. I watched him, and he certainly did look like a warrior—he was a solid guy—but he also looked grounded, and, as advertised, peaceful.

It reminded me how, as we walk our paths and go to battle each day—fighting for ourselves and those we love—we often don’t do it peacefully. We may start out that way, but once we get caught in the charge of action, the adrenaline, we lose that peace. We lose our serenity. And, often, we lose ourselves to anger, rage, or fear.

The idea of being peaceful among chaos is beautiful. Like a Matrix-style calm, where the action slows around us and we remain still and focused. While we can’t physically create that, we can spiritually and mentally.

So how do we keep the peace in our daily lives, with chaos all around?

Manage Our Fear

Fear sets us into overdrive. It removes calm and peace, puts us into reaction mode, and blinds us to what’s real. To find peace, we need to manage our fears. Remember—fears are not facts. Stick to what’s true. Stay present. Focus on what you can do in each moment to move forward.

Keep Our Intentions Pure

Do things because you want to, not for what they’ll get you or how they’ll make you look. That’s the way of a peaceful warrior. Focus less on the outcome and more on the reasons behind your actions and the journey itself.

Let Go of Old Ideas

Past experiences or old beliefs can limit what we can accomplish. We are evolving every day. Let go of the past. Believe in who you are becoming. When you do, limitations fall away and new possibilities open up.

Avoid Over-Scheduling

We juggle a lot, but when we over-schedule, we lose peace and scramble for control. We risk losing sight of who we’re working to be. Set realistic goals. Focus on each task. If you can’t finish it all today, that’s okay—tomorrow is another chance.

Win or Lose, You Win

Stop framing everything as a win or loss. The fact that you’re trying is a win. If things don’t go as planned, that’s a lesson. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to go your way that day. Now it’s your turn to handle it in a way that builds your growth.

Don’t Judge Your Thoughts

Negative or surprising thoughts will pop up. They’re not your truth unless you let them be. Notice them, ask yourself why they’re there, and let them go. Often, these thoughts come when we’re in H.A.L.T.—hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Check in with your self-care when negativity creeps in.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you think of yourself as a peaceful warrior? If yes, why? If not, why not?

  • Are there things you can tackle peacefully and some not? List what you can, and what you cannot. Why do you struggle with the ones on your not list?

  • What can you do to change that?

  • How can you practice being a peaceful warrior, even on the tough days?

  • What will it take for you to lose peace, then find it again—and not let that loss be a loss but a lesson?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can step into your power as a peaceful warrior today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other in finding peace.

And if you know someone who’s navigating chaos right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, a little encouragement is all we need to rediscover our peace.