When Someone Tries To Shame Us, It Only Shames Them

We’ve all been in situations when someone tries to shame us for not knowing something or for doing something they think we should have known better not to have done. They ridicule us, make fun of us, and call us out, trying to make us feel bad, but all it does is show they’re own insecurities about having to be right, or look superior to those around them, which typically means they themselves are suffering from low self-esteem. But, when they catch us on a day when we’re feeling vulnerable, their words can find their way to that place in us that at times has felt less than, or different, or, not good enough, and those words can hurt. I think we’ve all, at times been on both sides of this, so, in having been there, it’s about finding some compassion for that person, and also, hooking into your core strength and knowing that, you have nothing to be ashamed of, this really, is the other person’s problem.

We all come from different backgrounds, have had different experiences, and, have different interests, which is why it’s interesting to talk to different people, but in no way can we all have knowledge about everything, it’s impossible, nor should we be expected to. I was with a group of people recently and someone had made a decision to do something and one person lashed out that them for doing it and said they should have known better, that it was obvious, but really she shouldn’t have necessarily known better, she didn’t have previous knowledge around the event and it just made the person who said it seem petty, and like they’re were looking to belittle someone else so they would feel better. I have to say, truthfully, I have been guilty of that in the past, before walking my current path, and I know for myself that is exactly what was going on. I felt less than so I would pick on someone who I thought I could belittle so I would feel better about myself, but it would only feel better for a while and then it would feel bad. And, once I starting living my life in the light, that good feeling went away all together and it felt so bad I stopped doing it. It also helped that I had found some self-love, self-worth, and self-respect, so I didn’t feel the need to try to put someone else down to find it. Really that’s the cure for that type of behavior. So, as someone who once took part in trying to put others down to lift myself up, I now can find some compassion for those who are still doing it, I don’t tolerate it, but I can see them in the light of what it truly is, because I used to be there, and now, I feel bad for them, because I know they’re not in a good place.

In no way should you ever feel like you have to know everything, in fact, you can’t, and truthfully there is so much more power in saying you don’t know and finding out the answer or asking for help than there is in pretending you already know. When someone tries to call us out for not knowing something it is up to us to not take it personally, even though it may feel personal, because it really isn’t. The person doing the shaming is just looking for targets to make themselves feel better, if it isn’t you, it will be someone else, so next time someone tries to shame you for not knowing something, let it go, the only actions we can control are our own, and we can only let someone make us feel bad about something if we let them, we have control over that, and when we know that, that is far more powerful than knowing whatever it is that someone thinks we should know. Just be you. That is enough.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Have you been in a situation(s) where someone has tried to make you feel bad for what you’ve done or something you didn’t know? Did you let that affect your day? How? Do you see that it is not your problem or fault and really just makes the other person look bad? Have you ever been the one to shame someone for not knowing something? Write down an example. Why did you do that? How did it make you feel? What does that behavior tell you about yourself? What can you do to correct it? You are in charge of you. You are in charge of how you feel, and how you let things make you feel. Stand tall in who you are, and know, when you are doing your best, that is all you need to do, you don’t need to apologize to anyone. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

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