Gratitude

Searching For Love

I’ve been spending time with family this week, my fiance’s family, a family I’m enjoying getting to know more and more, and we’ve been talking a lot about love and life. As I plan for my wedding, a big milestone, and a celebration of love, it brings up a lot of emotions, for us, as a couple, and for family and friends who are on this journey with us. We’ve had some spontaneous beautiful moments that all center around love. Our conversations have often gone to memories of new beginnings, of birth, of heartfelt moments, and endings, but through it all, the through line to all of those moments and memories is love. We look for love, are attracted to love and, hopefully, give love. There’s a reason why so my songs have been written about it, and according to The Beatles, “Love Is All You Need.” We probably need more than just love, but love is the center of most things we do, it is something that motivates us, challenges us, and for some of us, something we are constantly searching for.

I had a friend share with me a near death experience she had, she described it in detail, but what has always stayed with me is her describing how she felt in the place her soul went, she said to me, the only way to describe how I felt where was was love, but that doesn’t even come close to the feeling, she said, what I felt doesn’t exist here on earth, and I think we are always searching for it, and the closest thing we have here is love. I think we do always look for love, or gravitate toward it, and why not, for the most part, it feels great, to give it and receive it, but the love I’ve found for myself is the love that allows me to fully enjoy the love around me.

For most of my life I hated myself, there was no love, I was full of anxiety and self-hatred for who I thought I was and that dominated my thoughts and actions. That self-hatred stood in the way of most true love that I had in my life because I didn’t believe I deserved it. I loved to the best of my ability, but I only let it get so far out of fear I wasn’t good enough or it would be taken away. When I made the commitment to get well I was faced with that self-hatred and told I had to learn to love myself, the voices in my head screamed, YOU CAN’T! But anything is possible when we are willing, and with a determination to get well I set out to find the love within myself. It was difficult at the start, I was at a place where I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror, never mind find things within myself to love, but was challenged, each day, to find those things, or on many days, just one thing, to start. And like anything, the most difficult task is always to start, but as I started to shift my focus from the bad to the good, I slowly started finding more things to love about myself, and it was slow, but it happened. I had to be mindful, and still do, each day to keep my heart in a place of gratitude, because that was, and is, where my love comes from, and grows.

As human beings we seem to be on the search for love most often, we instinctively gravitate toward it, when we are able to find it in ourselves or except it from others. And perhaps there is something to my friend’s story, I’ve heard similar stories from others, that we, deep in our souls, search for it because it brings us closer to what we know, to God, or a spiritual connection, or to a place we feel safe.

Open yourself to love, and find the love within yourself, appreciate that love and who you are, and share that love with others. Love really can heal, it can perform miracles, and it can bring joy to even those who just witness it. Spread your love today. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you able to find the love within yourself? If not, why not? If yes, how do you find it and what does it feel like for you? Have you always had this love or have you had to go seeking it within? How did you do that? If you haven’t found love within yourself, how can you, today, begin looking for it? How do you feel when you receive it? Or, give it? Focus on that feeling SLAYER, and look for that love inside yourself, it may just start with you imagining how it feels with others and imagining that within. It starts with a spark and if you continue to feed it, that spark becomes a burning flame.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Make Your Life A Masterpiece

This week, we’re staying with family, surrounded by beautiful art. On every wall hangs a piece of our hostess’s work or contributions from others. I find myself getting lost in the stories these pieces tell—their artistry and expression of life. It made me think: we are all the artists of our own lives. We hold the brush, and we can fill our days with expressions of who we are.

You don’t have to be an artist to create a masterpiece. Masterpieces can be found in the way we care for our family, in the hobbies that bring us joy, in a dance, a kind word, or a simple act of love. Anything that expresses our spirit and who we truly are becomes our art.

But life can bog us down. We get caught up in obligations, societal expectations, or the need to present a curated version of ourselves to the world. We forget to live out loud and express our authentic selves in whatever form that takes.

Finding Light in the Darkness

When I was lost in my disease, my life was devoid of color. I couldn’t imagine that I had anything beautiful to contribute to the world. My mind convinced me that any light I once had was gone. As an artist, that belief was soul-crushing.

But when I committed to getting better, I fought every day to rediscover the color in my heart. I clung to gratitude—anything that would keep me moving toward light instead of darkness. Slowly, the color crept back in. I learned that I was capable of many masterpieces, more than I had ever imagined. Some days, my masterpiece was simply a smile.

Our masterpieces start from within. How we choose to express them is deeply personal and uniquely ours.

Art Is Everywhere

As I sit here, surrounded by this art, I am struck by the passion and beauty poured into each piece. These works inspire me—and perhaps they can inspire you—to create your own art. Your expression may look different, but the essence is the same: honoring your spirit and sharing it with the world.

On a day-to-day level, masterpieces can take any form. A heartfelt conversation. A helping hand. A gesture of love. These acts, however small, are works of art that reflect the beauty inside you.

SLAY Reflection: What Is Your Masterpiece?

  1. How do you express your true spirit to the world?

  2. What beauty in your life can you share more freely?

  3. In what new ways can you let your light shine?

  4. Have you held back your creativity or gifts? Why?

  5. What’s one small way you can share your masterpiece today?

You have a gift to share, SLAYER. Your light may just inspire someone else to begin their masterpiece. So pick up your brush and create.

SLAY on.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
How do you share your own light, and what’s one masterpiece you’re ready to create?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck or uninspired, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little spark.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You may have no idea just how much you already have. Count your blessings today.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Fairtale

Someone Is Praying for What You Have Right Now

It’s easy to forget how far we’ve come.

On the hard days—when we feel lost, stuck, or like we’re not where we think we should be—it can be hard to see our own progress. We lose sight of the blessings. We downplay our growth. We focus on what’s missing instead of what’s already here.

But the truth is, someone out there is praying for what you have right now.

Even if it feels small to you. Even if you’re struggling. Even if today doesn’t feel like a victory.
To someone else, your “hard day” might look like a dream come true.

Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

Gratitude Lives in Perspective

Not long ago, I was sitting with a group of women I see regularly. One of them was sharing how far she’s come over the last three years, and she said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“On the days I feel low, I remind myself—there’s someone out there praying for what I have right now.”

That. That’s the perspective shift.

Even when we don’t feel our best. Even when things aren’t perfect. Even when we feel behind or broken or unsure—there’s someone out there who would give anything to be where we are.

Your Journey Is Worth Honoring

Everyone’s path is different. No two stories are the same. But most of us tend to minimize our own milestones, especially on the darker days. We often see our blessings last, long after others have already noticed the light within us.

But that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
You’ve come a long way—even if today doesn’t feel like it.

There were times in my life when I would have given anything to have the life I have now… even on my hardest day. I know what it’s like to feel like every day is a worst day. But I also know what it’s like to come through the other side—and forget, for a moment, just how far I’ve traveled.

That’s why I share my story. That’s why I speak about mental health and addiction. Because it reminds me—and others—that our stories matter. That our journeys aren’t over. And that someone out there might be waiting to hear exactly what we’ve been through so they can find their way forward.

Your Bad Day Might Be Someone Else’s Breakthrough

We’re all allowed to have our feelings. We’re allowed to be frustrated, tired, or sad. But we can also hold those feelings alongside a deep awareness of how much good exists around us.

There are people out there who would give anything for what we might take for granted. And that’s not about guilt—it’s about gratitude.

Gratitude grounds us.
It reminds us that we’ve already come through so much.
It keeps us humble.
And it helps us serve others from a place of truth, not perfection.

So even on the days when it’s hard to see the light—know that you are the light. And someone is praying for the glow you don’t even realize you have.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Are you focusing more on what you lack—or what you’ve already overcome?

  • Do you recognize the good in your life, or does your mind lean toward the negative?
  • What blessings do you have now that you once prayed for?
  • When was the last time you acknowledged how far you’ve come?
  • What steps have you taken to be where you are today?
  • How can you use gratitude to fuel your growth?

Your path has power. And your progress is worth celebrating—even on the hard days.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s something you have today that you once dreamed of having?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder of how far we’ve already come.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The only thing you can change is yourself, but that can change everything.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Attitude

Hold On For The Good

Today is the 9 year anniversary of the night I should have died. I’ve written about that night in a blog entitled “A Power Greater Than Myself,” it was a night I should not have survived, and a night, back then, where a part of me wished I hadn’t. I had struggled with depression for most of my life, and that coupled with mental illness, there were many nights, years even, where I could only see the darkness in my life and didn’t actually believe there was good waiting for me, and if by some miracle something good did come, I believed it would be taken away. I’ve spent many years working on my own self-love, working on acceptance and working to live my life in the light, I no longer wish to die, and today, 9 years removed from that very dark and scary night, I am living the happiest days of my life.

When I sat on that beach that night, feeling alone and afraid, like death was closing in, I never could have imaged this place I am in right now. I was certain I was going to die on that beach, and my last memory of that night was me surrendering to the fact that I was not going to see another day. But the universe, God, whatever your belief or name you prefer, had other plans and knew where I was meant to be, one day, and so by some sort of miracle I was saved and survived insurmountable odds to find myself right here, right now.

The last seven days have been ones of great love, of a lot of laughter, of companionship, caring, and support. My life has changed tremendously, I became a Mommy to an adorable little pup, and became someone’s fiance, two things I would have missed out on if I had died today 9 years ago. Life has a plan for all of us, and even on those days that seem our darkest, or impossible to survive, if we let go, get out of our own way, and ask for guidance we can walk out of anything. I spent so many nights hoping I wouldn’t wake up in the morning, and thinking of that today it makes me sad, because today I look forward to start of each day, to walk this path with someone who loves me, who makes me laugh and brings so much light in my life. I am extremely grateful that I didn’t miss this time in my life, that something, or someone, knew better and kept me here when there were so many times I wanted to check out.

My point for sharing this today is to show my gratitude, but to also send out a beacon of hope to those who may be in the dark. There is a way out, and there may just be something really wonderful waiting for you that you can’t even imagine yet. Always keep fighting, even when things seem like they might not be worth fighting for, trust me, they are, and you’ll have no idea if you give up and stop fighting. When I was in my darkest days, I never could have imagined the life I have today, but there was a plan, and getting through those dark days inspired me to write this blog, and to give back in the many ways I am of service today, and coming to terms with the demons of my past has allowed me to find self-love and acceptance, and has allowed me to share my true self with someone I love, so even if things look to be at their darkest, hold on for the good, you have no idea what may be waiting for you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel that there is good in your future? If not, why not? If you do, how do you know? What do you put your faith in? Have you overcome darkness to now see the light? What did you learn from that experience? Don’t let the darkness you may be living in tell you it will always be there, or that it is the only future for you, keep fighting because your brightest days just may be right around the corner.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.

SLAY on!

state of slay expect

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Get into the habit of being grateful.

New blog is up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay interrupt

If You Feel Like You’re Sliding, Ground Yourself In Gratitude

Because even the smallest anchor can save you from the storm

There are seasons in life when the ground beneath your feet doesn’t feel steady. You’re doing everything “right” — showing up, trying hard, taking care of what needs you — and yet somehow you still feel yourself slipping. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Energetically.

It starts quietly.

A missed step here.
A spiraling thought there.
A wave of heaviness that settles on your chest and won’t explain itself.

Before you know it, you’re sliding — away from your center, away from your peace, away from the version of you who feels grounded and clear.

I know that feeling well.
We all do.

And when life gets like this, it’s easy to panic.
It’s easy to think: What’s wrong with me? Why am I regressing? Why can’t I hold it together?

But here’s the truth most of us forget:

A slide isn’t a failure.
It’s a signal.
And gratitude is your handhold back to solid ground.

The Quiet Descent We Don’t Notice Until We’re Already Falling

Life rarely knocks us off balance with one big moment. Instead, it’s the slow accumulation of little things:

  • A slight disappointment

  • A broken routine

  • A lingering insecurity

  • A change in circumstance

  • A comment that hits us the wrong way

  • A feeling we don’t want to admit we’re feeling

The slide is subtle.

It begins when we stop listening to ourselves.
When we stop resting.
When we stop checking in on our heart.
When we slip into autopilot because being present feels too heavy.

Suddenly, we’re overwhelmed. Or discouraged. Or disconnected from the person we know we truly are.

The human instinct is to claw our way back through force — push harder, work more, suppress the feeling, pretend it’s not happening.

But the way back isn’t through force.

It’s through grounding.
It’s through presence.
It’s through gratitude.

Gratitude Doesn’t Erase the Hard — It Stabilizes You Inside It

Gratitude gets misunderstood as a way to bypass pain.
But real gratitude doesn’t ignore how you feel.

It simply gives you something to hold onto while you feel it.

Gratitude says:

  • “Yes, this is hard… and here is something still supporting you.”

  • “Yes, you’re tired… and here is something still holding you steady.”

  • “Yes, you’re overwhelmed… and here is something still working in your favor.”

It returns your mind to what is real — not imagined fear, not spiraling emotion, not worst-case scenarios.

Gratitude pulls you out of the fall and reorients you toward truth.

It doesn’t invalidate your struggle.
It anchors you through it.

A Small Gratitude Can Shift a Heavy Heart

When you feel yourself sliding, you don’t need a miracle.
You don’t need a life overhaul.
You don’t need everything to be perfect.

You just need one grounding thought — one spark of gratitude — to interrupt the descent.

It can be as simple as:

  • “I’m grateful for the breath that steadies me.”

  • “I’m grateful for one person who loves me.”

  • “I’m grateful for the strength I don’t always give myself credit for.”

  • “I’m grateful for the lessons that shaped me.”

  • “I’m grateful for this moment of awareness — it means I can choose again.”

Gratitude is not about pretending everything is wonderful.
It’s about remembering that not everything is falling apart.

It’s the shift that gives you back your footing.

Gratitude Helps You Regain Perspective — and Power

When we slide emotionally, our mind tries to convince us that everything is collapsing. Gratitude counters that narrative with something more grounded and true.

It:

  • Softens the panic

  • Brings the nervous system down

  • Helps you see the full picture instead of the distorted one

  • Reconnects you to what’s working, not just what feels wrong

  • Reminds you of your resilience

  • Guides you back to your inner stability

Gratitude says:
“You’ve survived every version of life you thought would break you. You can survive this, too.”

And when you remember that, the slide slows.
When you feel that, the ground steadies.
When you breathe into it, you begin to rise again.

You’re Not Failing — You’re Feeling

There is nothing wrong with you for having moments where your footing slips.
There is nothing wrong with you for needing support.
There is nothing wrong with you for losing your center and finding it again.

Strong people slide.
Resilient people slide.
Healing people slide.

But grounded people know how to climb back.

Gratitude is your rope.
Your anchor.
Your reminder that, even in the wobble, you are held.

SLAY Reflection

S — Sit With Your Truth

Where have you been feeling emotionally unsteady or overwhelmed lately?

L — Look at the Pattern

What small shifts or stressors may have contributed to your sense of “sliding”?

A — Align With Your Values

What gratitude practice — even a simple one — can help you feel grounded in this moment?

Y — Yield to Growth

What becomes possible when you anchor yourself in gratitude instead of fear?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What gratitude has helped ground you when life feels unsteady?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to find their footing right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Your body hears what your mind says.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

state-of-slay Problem