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Live In Simple Sentences

We all have stories that dragged on too long. Stories we should have ended that we held onto because we hoped they would somehow turn into what we had imagined, or worked for, or stories that used to be good but haven’t been in a long while that we cling to because of what once was, and then there are those stories that never seemed to reach their full potential, and we stay thinking that there could be a day that they could change. Without a conscious period, or punctuation mark at the end, those stories can go on forever, leaving us feeling unsettled, frustrated and unsatisfied. The more a story drags on the more complicated it becomes, and the more we attach feelings and emotions around the people and circumstances of that story that can make it difficult for us to move on when we should. We too, can hang onto a story too long because we want to be right, we want to prove something or we are determined to make something that is broken work, even when perhaps it never did, but the longer we stay in a story we are not meant to be in, the further we get away from our intended destination.

I have participated in many stories that should have ended long before they did, or perhaps, should have never started. Sometimes out of fear, or adventure, or trying to make things right, when they never could be. I do believe that things happen when they are meant to, but I also believe that we can delay our growth, and those moments, because we don’t take them in the moments we should, and may never get a second chance. Sometimes we do get that second chance, if we’re lucky, and it’s meant to get us back on track and on the journey we are meant to be on. When we live in simple sentences we are living in the now. We are checking in and making sure we are doing what’s best for us today, and working toward our next destination. Living in simple sentences clarifies things, it cuts away all the excess, the things that distract us, or the things we hang onto that complicate an otherwise simple story, it helps us focus on what we want and what we need to do to get it. It keeps us looking forward instead of backwards, and helps us describe our past in simple sentences as well, which keep it in perspective, and keeps the lessons pure and simple.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a story with many run-on sentences, it’s during those times we need to start editing and adding some punctuation. Life can get complicated all on it’s own without us dragging some excess baggage with us on top of it all, keep things simple, and at face value for what they are, not what you think they should be, could be or would be. Stop watching the reruns in your life and end the stories that need to end, it’s when we let go of those old distractions that our future becomes clear, right before our eyes. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you hang on to stories that you should have ended? Name one. Why should you have ended this story? Why haven’t you? What can you do to end that story in your life? Why should you? How has hanging onto this story harmed you? How may it have stopped you from finding what you are looking for? What are you looking for? How can you go about getting it? Do you believe you deserve to get it? If not, why not? SLAYER, we all deserve good things, but we need to make sure we take the road blocks out of our own way so those things can come our way. We need to let go of the past and end those stories that hold us back from becoming what we are meant to be in the future.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Life has no remote, get up and change yourself.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Taller

If You Slip Up, Get Up

Before walking this path if I slipped while trying to work on a goal or practice a new lifestyle I’d throw the whole thing out. One mistake to me meant failure so what was the use in continuing? It would take days, weeks, months, sometimes years before I would try again. If ever. It was all or nothing, and even with the willpower I had, I wasn’t immune to mistakes are slips, and the moment they happened the negative bullshit committee in my head would pipe up, telling me I was a loser, wrong for thinking I could do it and I would never accomplish what I was setting out to do. I would believe those voices and slip back into my depression, undoing what I had begun to accomplish before the slip.

What took me a while to learn was that a slip wasn’t the end of the world, in fact, it is part of the process, or journey, and that sometimes we learn the most, or what we need to from those slips to move forward. Many times when I slipped back into old behavior I realized that it didn’t feel good anymore, or it wasn’t the place I wanted to be, so even when, out of habit or default, I slipped back there, if I didn’t give up, it helped me to keep moving forward, and the further away I got from that old place, the less I wanted to slide back there one more time.

No one ever does things perfectly, the slips are part of the process, and a way we test ourselves to see if we really want what we’re working for, some of us too are a little more defiant than others, and we, even though we know better, rebel against positive changes and try to self-sabotage what we’re working so hard for, and that’s OK too, as long as you get back on track and are able to be honest about the actions you chose to take that slid you back. There is no real timeline, we work at our own pace, and some of us work faster than others, quick or slow, it doesn’t matter, as long as we get to where we are working to get to, or, where we are meant to be.

I used to carry shame when I slipped up, but that was only me punishing myself for not being perfect, no one else was judging me or thinking less of me because I made a mistake, so I had to learn to love myself through the slips, acknowledge them, what my part was, and get up and keep moving on. I have done that for over 13 years now, and each time I’ve gotten up I’ve taught myself that a) I can get up, and b) there’s no shame in the slip up, and that maybe that was something I need to do in order to motivate me to really make some of the bigger changes I needed to make to get me here.

We all have our own journey and own path. No two journeys are alike, and none of them work on the same timeline. Move at your own pace, with love and grace, do the best you can, or what you can, each day, each moment, and never let yourself believe that if you slip you can’t get up again. That slip may just help you get up and get to that place you’ve been working so hard to get to all along. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend throw away all the work you’ve done if you’ve made a mistake or slipped? Why do you do this? How does that make you feel? What do you tell yourself when you slip? Do you encourage yourself to keep going? Or, do you hurl all kinds of negative insults at yourself? If someone else in your life slipped, what what you say to them? Why don’t you tell yourself those same things when you slip? Do you have a support group, or trusted friends or family, who can support you in those times you slip? Reach out to them if you’re having a time of doubt or negative self-talk, let them love and support you as you get up again. We all slip, that’s not anything to be embarrassed about, but make sure you remember that the important part isn’t the slip, it’s how you got back up.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! A dangerous place to live is in a state of “I’ve always done it this way.” When going back doesn’t interest you anymore, you’re doing something right.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay New Beginning

Immobilized By Sadness

I used to let my sadness immobilize me. I’d let it wash over me and take me out to sea, where I’d just float in my sadness until one day I’d wash up on shore again. I was out to sea with my sadness much more than I was on shore before walking this path. I’d let my anger do the same, let it take over, feeling paralyzed. It’s awful being in that place, feeling hopeless, helpless and without a way out. I can still feel that way, but now I know I can’t let it take hold of me the way it once did, it’s too hard to get back.

That sadness, and anger, took hold me other night and the following morning. I got up anyway, and trudged forward, and then finally sank back into bed with the blanket over my head. I knew I couldn’t let myself stay there, and it’s rare that I even indulge the way I did that morning, but I let myself succumb to it, giving myself a time limit to sink back in. Sometimes I allow myself to fall back so I remember how bad it feels, and it did feel bad, but there was also a part of me that relished it, and just wanted to tune out the world and stay there. I made myself get up, I had too much to do just to hide in my room, and I kept trudging forward once again. But the sadness stayed, like a veil over the day, a veil that sometimes I would trip over and be reminded of throughout the day. I knew it would pass, in fact, most of it has already, but I used to believe my head when it would tell me that it never would, and that I would always be drifting in the sea of sadness, that thought would immobilize me and I would just stay there.

Today I focus on forward motion. That’s not to say I rush through, I do focus on getting to the heart of what’s really going on, and what feelings and emotions might also be tagging along from my past. I am in forward motion, but at my own pace. And we all have different paces. Don’t rush through because you want to feel better without figuring out what triggered the sadness and why, but don’t let yourself get washed out to sea either. For me, it takes a lot of checking in, really seeing where I’m at and if I’m just lingering the old-time sake, or if I am where I’m supposed to be in my process. Forward motion, always, even if it’s an inch at a time.

Only we suffer when we let our sadness immobilize us, and speaking from my own experience, if you let yourself float too far out to sea, it can be nearly impossible to get back, I nearly didn’t. We should acknowledge our sadness, and even talk about it, that alone may quash it and send it packing, but even if it doesn’t, reminding yourself to keep moving forward, and, if you’re not able to come to a concrete solution, to just let it go, you won’t get stuck in it. Do the work you need to get on the other side of it, and to put it in perspective, it can be easy to blow it up into something bigger than it is, or to only see your point-of-view, sometimes the way out is looking at it through someone else’s eyes, that may be the life-preserver you need. Either way, you are the one who can break free of your sadness, focus on the good in your life, and do something good for you, that will get you moving out of sadness and into happiness. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let your sadness overtake you and immobilize you? How? Why? What can you do to not let it take over? What typically triggers your sadness? Is that something you can control or change? When it gets triggered, how long does your sadness immobilize you? How can you shorten that time? How can you not let it immobilize you at all? Find out what triggers your sadness, and when it happens focus on moving through it, instead of letting it move through you. Take control and learn from your sadness, and then let it go. You have the power to do that SLAYER, I know you do.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Know Your Own Power

Before taking this journey I thought I was powerless, I never would have let you know that, because on the outside I presented a powerful front that was run purely on self-will and stubbornness, but inside, I felt helpless, alone, and a victim of life. And I was, because that was the outlook I chose to see. There are certain things we do not have power over, many things in fact, but what we do have power over is how we react to them, or, if we choose to engage with them at all, that, is in within our power. We have so much more power than we think, and when we start to exercise that power, and align those choices with our hopes, dreams and goals, our power grows and we go from powerless, to powerful.

No one us you. No one. There is power in that. There is no other person in the world who brings exactly what you have in the package you have it, no one. Know that. Own it. Use it. Even though you may have similar or shared experiences with other people, even though you may have similar backgrounds or education, no one has exactly what you have. Find the strength and power in that and use it to harness your talents, your ambitions, to go after what you want, use it to push you forward toward your goals and the direction you want to go. Don’t wait for permission to do something, create it, do it, go get it, work for it, make it happen. You are only as outside the center of power as you allow yourself to be, because truthfully, you are the center of your own power. Own that space, stand firm in who you are and what you want and take action.

This goes back to many of the topics I’ve discussed previously at State Of Slay, like many topics I discuss, everything builds on itself to create a solid foundation for us to stand, and to leap from, so we can rise to greater heights. Each step builds on the next, and gives us more self-confidence and strength to move forward, even if we’re still working on finding something in ourselves, the act of doing, seeking, or trying, works as a stepping stone to get us to the next step, and in trusting in the act of doing, sometimes we find the answer there. I’ve learned along my way that I’m not always going to figure it all out just because I’m working to do so, but I trust that I am learning what I need to know and gaining the information I need and I understand it when I’m supposed to have it, when I’m meant to, and that when I’m meant to understand or get what I’m working to find or achieve, I will, as long as I keep doing the work, so, even if you don’t have what you think you need to move forward, trust that you have enough, and that you will have the rest when you do need it and are ready, just take action, take action with the best of intentions with the information you do have, and move forward toward the things you want. I know that can be difficult when you’re struggling with self-doubt, or slow self-esteem, but just the act of doing it anyway, as I’ve mentioned before, taking contrary action, can help you gain more self-esteem and start to chip away at your self-doubt because you are taking positive steps towards being your authentic self and going after what you want. Never be ashamed of that. Never give up if it’s something you want and are willing to work for it. Keep moving forward and focus on your inner strength, your inner power, visualize it, use it to move you when you feel paralyzed with fear or uncertainty, use to grow, and to shine your light.

Know your power, and own it.

There is only one you, that is our power SLAYER. SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you see and feel the power you have within? If not, why not? How do you think you can find it? Only you have the power to find your own power, and when you do, and you find the fire within you, you have the fuel to propel you to where you want to do, you have the fuel to shine bright in all that you do. It’s time to take action SLAYER, to find and own your power, to know that you are like no one else out there, only you are you. Write down 5 things that you think make you special. Write down 5 things you love about yourself. Write down 5 things that you want for yourself. Now use those things that make you special, use those things that you love about yourself, and go get the things you want! You, SLAYER, have the power to do that.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You have the power to make your dreams come true, take action, run into the tornado, and get what you want! You deserve it. You can do it. You can make it happen.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Action

F.E.A.R. – Run Or Rise?

F.E.AR. has two meanings, F**k Everything And Run, or Face Everything And Rise. I know before I walked this path the first one was my go-to method of operation, and if I didn’t run, I fought, it was almost better that I ran. It was not great. My whole life was run by fear, fear of not getting what I wanted, fear of having what I did have taken away, fear I was missing out, fear I would be found out, just fear, a thousands forms of fear. I didn’t realize until I started to get better, and started to not let fear run my life, how much control it had over me, how much it dictated what my decisions were going to be, how much it held me back from living my life and connecting with people.

You see, fear isn’t real. Fears are lies we tell ourselves, or those voices that talk to us, that bullshit committee that tries to keep us isolated and alone, fears are not facts, and as SLAYERS we make our decisions based on the facts, not the fear of them. We also use fears as excuses, excuses to not try something, or to take responsibility for something, or to not step out of our comfort zone, but fear isn’t our friend, it’s not protecting us, it’s holding us back, it’s preventing us from living the life we want for ourselves, and the life we can have if only we stop listening to our fears. Because when we do conquer them we do rise, we rise above them, and we rise above the place where fears held us back, and down, we move forward, and upward.

For me it was about contrary action, of acknowledging the fear, trying to identify where it was coming from, and then doing the opposite of what I wanted to do. Of doing what I knew to be right, or just, or what was going to move me forward. And that was scary, but it felt so good when I would it, when I would push through and realize that it wasn’t really that bad, or, had turned out better than I had, well, feared. I started to see how my fears weren’t real, they weren’t the truth, that by me walking through them I was becoming stronger, and clearer, and I was learning to trust myself more, and in doing that I felt a lot less fear.

Fear now for me is a sign I’m not taking care of myself, because when I am I have trust and faith that things are unfolding as they are supposed to and when I know that I’ve done the footwork, everything I can do to reach a goal. Settle, or make a situation clear, then I shouldn’t be having fear, fear is an old concept or idea that no longer serves me, an old behavior that pops up which I know to be irrational and not true, so the question I now ask myself is, why is it popping up, what do I need to address? And, that is a lot more manageable than the unmanageability of fear I lived with every day for most of my life. Now, I have tools to work through that fear, to know it isn’t real, and to not let it hurt me. Today I know that if I walk through my fear I will rise and by doing so I can help others do the same, to lead by example that we don’t need to live in fear, an example that was shown to me by countless people when I was ready to see it. We walk tall as SLAYERS, we don’t stand in our own way, we grab our swords and our shields and we trudge forward, through the fire, because on the other side of that fire, is paradise, a paradise where we take our life and power back. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: What does fear mean to you? How does it come up in your life? Does it control your decisions and actions? Why? Why do you let it? What are you afraid of? Are those rational fears? Are they fears you can take action against and defeat? How so? Why aren’t you taking action against your fears? What’s stopping you? It’s time, SLAYER, that you rise above, that you look your fears in the eye and say no more, it’s time for you to walk through those fears and take your life back, it’s time to Face Everything And Rise.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slayer Say

Good morning SLAYER! Be courageous, ask for what you want, you may not get everything you ask for, but nothing will change if you stay the same. Speak up, make your voice heard and get to work.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Ask