willing

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! I am more than my scars.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Gold Self Love Super Power

When We Love Ourselves Love Finds Us

This seemed like a good topic for Valentine’s Day, and one that may stir up some feelings about self-love. As someone who spent most of her life hating herself I know the power we have over what we attract into our lives. That’s not to say if we don’t love ourselves that we won’t, can’t, or don’t have love in our lives, because I know we can, I did, even when that self-love wasn’t there, but when we do find or have that love for ourselves it invites more love in, and, we tend to look for the love we already have and want to share our love with others.

Love is contagious, who doesn’t want to feel, receive and give love? It can heal almost anything, and what I may not be able to heal alone, it can certainly help with the process. Finding love for myself came with some work on my part, but I knew I had to find it to get better and to live the life I had dreamed of. To get to the place I am now I had to first find forgiveness in myself, for all the unloving things I did to myself and to those around me. I had to let go of the guilt and shame I carried around that held me back and blocked me from finding self-love. I had to take responsibility for my actions but I also had to accept that I was doing the best I could with the tools I had, and, with untreated mental illness, my best thinking often set me on a course of self-sabotage and self-destruction. I would never criticize someone with cancer, diabetes or Alzheimer’s so why would I criticize myself for the disease I had that had clouded my judgment and stole from me for most of my life. Finding that acceptance and using it as a tool to grow from where I was, to do better and to start living in a positive way was the place I started on my journey to self-love. I made a point, each day, to find gratitude in who I was, where I was and where I wanted to go, and some days that proved more challenging than others, but even just thinking of one thing was enough to change my outlook. I gave back where I could to others struggling like I was, which got me out of my own head and relieved me of the negative thinking that had plagued me my whole life. I made a lot of changes, took direction from others and professionals and I began to feel better. Slowly, by practicing loving acts towards myself and others I was able to say, out loud, that I loved myself, and when I did my life changed, and I began to look for love in each day. I also began to share the love I had with others, even by paying someone a compliment are congratulating them on a job well done. Walking this path with love in my heart ultimately brought me a love I didn’t know I could have and a man who I now share a love with that continues to grow each day.

Finding love for ourselves may seem like an impossible journey, but nothing is impossible if we try and make changes in our lives that support our efforts to find that love. It’s a journey that takes humility and a desire to search for those things that we feel make us lovable and what allows us to share our love with those around us. We all are worthy of love, even if we don’t feel we are, but when we open our heart to the idea of it, the magic of love may just open your heart enough to show you just how lovable you really are. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe you are lovable? If not, why not? Have you always felt that way? If you haven’t, what changed? Are there moments in your life that have been able to find self-love? What were they? Why don’t they stay or why did they go away? What can you do today to show yourself love? How can you share that love with someone else? Today, since this is a day to celebrate love, look for all of the love you have in your life and all of the ways you can show yourself love in return, just being willing to look for it opens the door enough to come in.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

From Victim To Victor

Before walking this path I thought of myself as of victim. I felt I was a victim of those around and me and a victim of life. I truly believed that everything and everyone was conspiring to get me. And, my disease told me that I deserved it. I used the victim label like a get out of jail card, I used it to excuse myself from bad behavior or for not taking action where I should and could have. There was a lot I could have done over the years to help myself, but not as long as I could only see myself as a victim. Even when I made the choice to get better I still believed I was a victim, but my path of healing was about to reveal to me that I had been a victim, most of all, to myself.

Stepping into a new way of life and interacting with new people who were battling the same issues as I was, I noticed that these people were not victims, they were fighters, survivors, warriors and victors. It was inspiring, but I still had to be willing to let go of the victimhood that I had used to shield myself from the responsibilities of my own actions. If I was going to find victory in this new way of life I had to let go of being a victim. Shedding that label was scary, as letting it go and not identifying myself as victim meant that I had to take responsibility for my part in the activities and events that lead me to my personal bottom. That was a lot to face up to. When I was able to be rigorously honest with myself, there was very little that I had been a victim to, most everything I had labeled as something I had no part in was absolutely false, my part was all over those things I wanted to make others responsible for. With the exception of our childhood, when we’re young and do not have the ability to make choices, we play some role in most of everything that happens in our lives. There are those instances we do fall victim to a crime or unwittingly get involved in something, but for the most part, even if it’s just engaging with someone or something I shouldn’t have, I played a part in it, or, at the very least, I still had a choice of how I react to what was happening around me. I was no victim, I contributed to much of my heartache and even, at times, purposely led myself down a path to get hurt or betrayal because I thought I deserved it. That victim cloak I draped over myself was mostly made up of excuses to not take ownership of my actions and to a life that I was ashamed of. I certainly had mental health issues working against me, but had I been honest and had the courage to share my truth those issues, as I’ve learned on the path I walk now, are not insurmountable. When I finally took responsibility for my part in all that led me to a place of incomprehensible demoralization, in that moment, I stopped being a victim and became a victor. It took much more work than that to really take ownership of it, but that was the first step, admitting where I had played a part in my own demise.

Today I know I am a victor, I have been victorious over many things, for many years. I will no longer allow myself to be a victim and I will take responsibility for my actions and my part in things. When we admit our part and see where we contributed to our own misery and wrongdoing we take our power back, or perhaps gain it for the first time, that power gives us the fuel to take part in our own recovery, in the ownership of our actions, and reactions, and allows us to find and learn a better way of life. For those of us who have made the move to victor we know the strength we have found in that, and we encourage those who have not yet crossed over to join us as we walk in victory together on this new path and the road beyond. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think of yourself as a victim? Why is that? Have you played any part in what causes you to think of yourself as a victim? Even if it’s just your reaction to it? How have you played the victim in your own past? Have you used that to gain sympathy or to manipulate in the past? Do you still do that? Why? How does that hurt you? Have others tried to place a victim label on you? Why do you think that is? Are you willing to look at your part in the events that lead you to believe you are a victim? How can you take your power back? We are strong men and women who cannot be defeated unless we allow it, we can overcome anything we put our minds to, and we can use the strength of those around us to help us when we feel weak, or unsure what the next step may be. Find your strength, hold on to us as you make that step from victim to victor and soar.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

People Show Us Who They Are

We’ve all heard the saying, “talk is cheap,” and I’ve found as I’ve moved forward on my journey that not only is it cheap, it has no value at all without proper action. Just saying something doesn’t make it true, right, or worth anything at all. It’s all in the action. People will tell us what they want us to hear, they will say what they think makes them look good, or to tell the narrative they want to tell, I know, I used to do all of those things, in fact, those were my three top reasons for speaking before taking responsibility for my own well-being and mental health, so I know from first hand experience. But there are good people out there, I would like to think that I am one of them, people who speak their truth, even if it’s not what may be popular or what someone wants to hear, people who are honest, caring, compassionate and willing to listen to someone else’s point of view, people who aren’t walking around with a secret agenda and consider anyone they meet just pawns in their latest scheme. No, there are people who can be trusted and confided in, and who speak with love in their hearts. But, it’s up to us to really listen and watch for those people, and not get fooled by the ones who may not be transparent in their intentions.

When I made a commitment to live my life with rigorous honesty I had to pull the curtain back on my bad behavior from my past. I had to live my life with integrity and learn to speak my truth with confidence and without fear of my perceived consequences. Part of that process for me was learning to trust myself, and learning to love myself enough to be true to my thoughts and intentions, and to be clear on what those intentions really were. That took some time. As I said, my intentions in the past were murky at best, there was usually some self-serving reason behind it, even when I masked it behind charity or doing something for someone else, I was always looking to get something out of it. So to shed all of that and to work to live only with good intentions, and not just for myself, and to be open and clear about those intentions, I felt pretty exposed. This was an area where that rigorous honesty came in, what were my true intentions? And, if they weren’t true, I was not allowed to engage. That put the breaks on some things. But putting my actions through that filter kept me honest, and it kept me on the right track, it also caused me to start looking at the people I was choosing to engage with and what their intentions really where, and had me questions if I really knew, and instead of just watching myself and how I was going to manipulate the situation, I was now really watching and listening, and learning what those intentions and who those people really where. Sometimes it took me more than a few times to really believe what I was seeing and hearing, and having been hurt by those times when I chose not to believe my own eye and ears, I started to believe faster. People do always show us who they are and many times we excuse it away, or we give them the benefit of the doubt, instead of taking them at face value. Now, that’s not to say we can’t misunderstand, or give people another chance, but we typically do know, we get that feeling, when something isn’t right, and it’s up to us to trust that feeling and heed it as a warning.

My life expanded a lot over the past year, I made some big moves and changes, and that’s always a time to reflect back, and in doing so I can see where I may have gotten fooled, but I also see where I did not believe what someone was showing me and as a result got hurt. Moving forward through this year and new people coming into my life I will not make that same mistake, some leeway was made, but ultimately what I’ve been shown is who they are, and who they are is not who they presented themselves to be, so, as someone who continues to practice rigorous honesty and engaging with people who I can trust, honor and respect, I need to protect myself from these people for my own recovery and mental health, and as sad as that feels, it also feels good, that I know I’m worth more than lies, manipulation and misleading intentions, and I know how to spot the truth.

As we move through our lives we encounter many people, some good, and some, well, not so good. It us up to us to be honest with who we are and what we want, and to believe people when they show us who they are in return. Words can be deceiving, but actions always tell the truth. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe people when they show you who they are or do you tend to make excuses for them? If you make excuses and choose not to believe them, what is typically the result? Have you been one of those people in the past who may have not been forthcoming with your true intentions? Why do you think that was? Are you still that person? What scares you from living your truth? What can you do to be more honest? What can you do spot when someone else isn’t being honest with you? The signs are always there SLAYER, you just have to believe them, take them at face value and make a choice whether you will continue to engage under those circumstances or not. As you continue to practice rigorous honesty in your own life, you may find that you become more in-tuned with the truth of what’s around you.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Getting There, Not Being Here

We all want to get to where we’re going, even if we don’t know where that is. We seem to want to get there even faster when we do know where we want to go and have been working to get there. We can get so focused on the finish line that we miss all of the days and moments in between, and may miss all those milestones we pass along the way that we should be acknowledging, celebrating and appreciating as we travel the journey to where we are meant to be.

I used to be guilty of this. I was so focused on what I wanted to accomplish that I had blinders on and would focus so much that I couldn’t see anything else, and was closed off to anything else other than where I wanted to get to. The trouble with living like that is that we are living the future, we’re not present and taking in life around us as we go. We can miss a lot when live this way, I know I did, and there could be many signs around us every day that we may actually be on the wrong path, but if we’re only open to seeing the the end result we want to see, we’ll never see those signs, good, or bad, and we’ll keep barreling along, perhaps in the wrong direction. For me, I also was so focused on the destination I wanted to get to because I was trying to force it into being by sheer willpower, and I used that drive to get to where I wanted to go to escape from what was really going on in my life. I thought, if I focused so much on where I wanted to go I wouldn’t have time to see where I actually was, and that the place I was at may actually prohibit me from ever reaching the goals and my dreams. That’s one vicious circle. It wasn’t until I made a commitment to live rigorously honest, and to stay present that I could really, truthfully, live in a way that honored where I currently was and what I was working towards at the same time. It also meant I needed to be flexible. To be open to new ideas and avenues and be willing to amend my plan because there might be something else out there that I hadn’t thought about or even knew about. Since walking this path my goals have shifted somewhat. There are things that remain the same, but because I’ve been open to new ideas and have said yes to things, so many more avenues have been revealed to me and have changed what gives me the most happiness. I wouldn’t have discovered any of those things if I had remained only focused on what I thought was going to make me happy or what I wanted to accomplish. Life will show you the way, if you are open to receiving it’s message.

Take time to look around each day and see what else may be out there, behind what you think you know already is. When you walk through life willing to take in new ideas and new goals you will be directed to where you are meant to be. There is so much more out there than what we can imagine in our minds, we only know what we’ve experienced so far, we don’t know what else is possible beyond that. Let others share their journey with you, be open to what may be out there, and work towards finding your best self, once you’re doing that, you are ready to reach those goals of your dreams. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you open to new ideas or do you stay fixated on where you think you want to go? If you’re not open to new ideas, what stops you? If you are open, how has your openness lead you to a place you never would have gotten to if you had continually said no? What have you accomplished that you hadn’t planned on, but because you were open find a new destination or goal to focus on you found another place for yourself? What have you taken a chance on and just said yes? What have you said no to that may have held you back? How can you still find your way to the place you may have meant to be when you said no? Allow yourself to enjoy the journey, there here and now, instead of just focused on where you want to be, because you’re never going to get somewhere by ignoring where you are right now.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

We Do What We Know

We are only as good as the information that have been passed down to us. The information we’ve observed. And the information we’ve sought out. But many of us don’t seek out other ways of doing things because we usually think we have all the information we need. Many times we don’t. What may have worked for our parents, or theirs, or the people around us, may not work for us, yet we continue to try the ways of those other people and wonder why things are so difficult. Or, we know something isn’t working and we continue to do it anyway, trying to will it into working when it never will work. I can personally attest to that. My life before wasn’t working. I wasn’t happy and until things got to a place where I had to make some changes, some major changes, to save my life, I wasn’t willing to seek out a new way of doing things.

Up until that point I never even questioned how or why I would do the things I would. I was living with undiagnosed mental illness and trying to do things the way other people around me where doing them, or, how it appeared they were, through my warped sense of perspective. I also didn’t realize then that what we see on the outside, very often, does not reflect what’s going on on the inside for someone. I know it didn’t for me, and it didn’t occur to me that many of the people I came into contact with every day may also be showing the world one thing, but may be secretly struggling with something internally. Yet, I would continue to judge myself based on what was being presented. Using that as my guidelines, I wasn’t ever going to get any better.

When I made the decision to get well, I had to throw out most of what I knew. None of that was working and I had to find a new way of life if I wanted to be my best self. It was hard to break those patterns I had established over a lifetime, and to look at the behavior that contributed to me landing on my knees asking for help. Making different choices, new choices, better choices, wasn’t always easy to start, it felt strange and foreign a lot of the time, but I was encouraged to keep making them and if I did, I would see results. I helped to have a strong group of people in my life I could run things by when I wasn’t sure what the next right thing was to do, and sometimes even knowing what the right thing to do was, I would fall back into destructive behaviors from my past. And all of that, was OK. Even when we fall back, we have an awareness of what the better choices was, and, we can make that choice next time. For me, the more I was making better choices, those old choices from my past no longer felt good, I didn’t want to jeopardize the progress I was making, so I was making them less and less.

Until we question if what we’re doing is really best for us, we will do what we know, and what we know may be just the thing that’s standing in our way of happiness and good health. Today is a good time to ask yourself, am I doing what works for me, or am I just doing what I know? The answer may unlock the door to where you are supposed to be. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you look at the way you do things and question it, or just do what you know? When things go wrong, or don’t feel good, do you take that opportunity to look at how you got yourself there? What, in your life, have you changed to suit you that isn’t the way you used to do it, or what you knew? What prompted that change? Are there things in your life that you should also change? What are they? We should always be taking inventory, looking at our lives and asking ourselves what’s working and not working, what would we like to see change and how can we make that change happen? Even when we’ve made changes in the past, those changes might not be current with what we need today. Our lives are always changing and growing, or they should be, so we need to stay on top of what we need today, and what we need to do today to get to where we want to go, and should go.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Deny Denial

When I was living in my disease I was totally in denial about how sick I was. I would tell myself stories about how it was everyone else’s fault or that things weren’t really that bad, they were. No matter what happened, or how bad things got, I never admitted the truth to myself until I couldn’t deny it anymore because I couldn’t ignore the place I found myself. I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt, and in grave danger of taking my own life. I think for me, because of my stubbornness and cunning ability to deny my truth, it took me falling down that low for me to finally see the problem, and to be willing to do something about it. I don’t suggest waiting that long, because things very easily could have gone a different way during that time, a more permanent way, one where I no longer had the choice to get well, but I was granted some grace, and a tiny bit of hope, to reach out my hand and finally admit the truth. And, even now, over 13 years later, my mental illness will tell me I don’t have it, that I’m OK, it still actively wants me to fall back into denial.

I wrote recently about being rigorously honest, it’s imperative for me that I live in that place, because if I start to bend the truth, or leave things out of my story, I start to deny what is really going on, of who I am today, and where I came from, and once I start doing that my disease sits up and takes notice. It waits for me to get a little lazy, or back off on my recovery and when and if I do, it peppers denial into my thoughts without me even noticing it and then starts to open the door wider to more and bigger denial, if I allow that to happen, I am in danger of falling back to where I was, or worse.

Life can be painful. There are things that can be hard to face, or admit, but if we don’t live in our truth, admit our faults, and make amends or apologize for what we’ve done denial takes over and tells us all kinds of lies that keep us sick, or isolated, or in our own heads. The truth keeps us well, healthy, and in the light, there is no place for denial in truth. Denial may feel like the safer place, especially if it’s a place we’ve lived in for a while, but it’s deceptive, denial does not keep us safe, it leaves us exposed and in harm’s way, we are only safe when we know and live in the truth.

But first we need to have the willingness to live in our truth, and to see things as they really are, not as we’d like them to be, or prefer them to be, or the story we’d rather tell. Perhaps our story is that we’re not like everyone else, even though we would prefer to be, and so it may be about finding acceptance in ourselves and who we are, and, for some of us, that we do live with some kind of mental illness, or some other health issue that may cause us shame, or difficulty, or may separate us from those around us, if we let it. We may have gotten so good rationalizing our denial, or coming up with alibis for our behavior that living in our truth may seem like a tall order, but it can be done, and needs to be done if we are to live in any kind of healthy loving way. And that brings us back to self-love. When we learn to love ourselves we learn to accept all of who we are, even those parts we used to deny, and when we are able to shine love in those places we used to hide we can truly live in the light and become our true selves.

Denial only leads to more denial, more lies, stories, and untruths. We as SLAYERS live in the light, our truth, we deny denial, we take responsibility for our actions, and we own who we are and what we do. Denial only brings us more pain, and possibly leads us down an even darker path than the one we already find ourselves on. Let go of the fear you may hold of telling your truth, and find the freedom in accepting the truth, and sharing that truth with those in your life. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you live in denial? What specifically do you refuse to accept? Why do you think you refuse to accept it? What’s stopping you? What are you afraid of? Do you see how living in denial is keeping you sick, or making you sicker? What evidence is there of this in your life? What can you do to get more honest? Write down 5 things. Find acceptance for who you are and what you may struggle with, it’s only then that we begin to step out of the shadows and start living the life that we are meant to, and are capable of having.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Failure Isn’t Fatal, It’s Feedback

I used to fear failure. I thought it validated me being not good enough, less than. Every time I failed it stung like it was proof I didn’t deserve to have what I wanted, or I wasn’t good enough to get it. But what it was really there to do was give me feedback. To show me what wasn’t working so I could learn from it and try again, or try something different, or maybe just a different approach. But I would let it defeat me every time. Back then, I think that I equally wanted to fail as I wanted to win, because when I failed it let me continue to tell the narrative my head liked to tell, that I didn’t deserve good things, and I was never going to get them. I know now then that thinking wasn’t true. Those were just the lies my disease would tell me to keep me sick, and keep me isolated, it was working.

When things don’t go my way now I try to look for the lesson in it. I look at how I approached it and ask myself if there was something I could have done better, or differently, that may have resulted in a better outcome. I’ve learned a lot from doing that, and I’ve also learned, that sometimes it was out of hands, and that goal or thing I was working for wasn’t meant to be mine, and it may not have because I was meant to be somewhere else or with someone else. You see, failure isn’t fatal, unless you let it be fatal, all it really is just information, or feedback. It’s the universe trying to show you where you are meant to be, and how to get there. We are programmed, by society, to look at failure as just that, proof we failed, or as failures, but that’s not what it’s mean to tell us at all. It’s direction. A nudge to head somewhere else, or try something different. Many of the world’s greatest inventions or successes have come from failure, and perhaps yours can too.

I look back at my life and at a very dark time I would have labeled a failure. A time when I didn’t even want to live. I looked at myself, and my life, at that time, and thought, wow, what a waste, all this potential and you messed it up, this is where your best thinking and best efforts brought you, but the reality is that getting myself to a place of total defeat brought me to a place of surrender, of complete humility, and willing to be teachable is the greatest victory of my life, and the start of the most incredible journey of my life, the journey I’m still on, and plan to stay on for the rest of my life. What I thought was complete failure, got me to a place that I was able to reach out and receive the greatest gift I could ever receive, the gift of desperation to finally look to and grab onto the light. And because I was willing, so many other gifts came my way that have helped me on this journey, and continue to, and when I attempt something new, or try something I haven’t before, and I don’t get the desired result, I know to keep going, and, to keep an open mind and an open heart, because that failure may just bring another incredible gift, in fact, it already has, and it can for you too, if you just allow it to. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: How do you handle failure? Do you let it defeat you? What do you say to yourself when you fail? Are those things true? If not, why do you say them? How those things help you? How do they hurt you? What if you stopped saying them? What if you started looking at them as just feedback? What if you let them guide you to where you are meant or supposed to be? What if you looked at them as just that, a guide? Can you write down some examples of good things that have come out of seemingly failures in your life? Can you write down examples of times you felt you failed, but can now look at those situations and perhaps find some feedback or guidance in those failures? Those times we “fail” we may be right on course to where we’re supposed to be headed, we may have never been destined to achieve what we set out to in the first place, because there is something else waiting for us that is better, or far more well-suited than what we think we should have, or be. Trust the process and don’t listen to your head that tells you your next failure is fatal, because your greatest victory may just be around the corner.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Listening Is Loving

Everyone wants to be heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give someone is to listen to them. Listening to someone is an act of love. And practicing that gift is also a gift to yourself.

It was a gift I had to learn. Before this journey I, many times, wouldn’t listen, not truly, I had already made up my mind, or thought I was smarter than you, or, just didn’t care because you weren’t useful to me, as ugly as sounds, that was the truth. I wasn’t going to sit and listen to someone and not get something in return. With that mindset, I’m sure I missed many opportunities to learn something or to form a closer bond with someone already in my life. It’s giving someone the utmost respect, to listen, you’re saying that their opinion, or feelings, or situation, matters, and sometimes all someone wants to hear is that you’re willing to listen.

The act of listening takes patience, probably one of the main reasons I was so horrible at listening years ago, I was as impatient as they get, listening allows the other person to step into the spotlight, to have their moment to share, without interruptions, see, that’s the key component to listening, you don’t interrupt, or bud in while the other person is still speaking, so it trains us, to be patient, while we listen. It shows a great deal of humility to set aside our own wants and needs for a moment to let someone else express theirs. It allows the other person to step into the spotlight, to give them the moment to take center stage and talk about what is going on for them. And, hopefully they will return the gesture and give you the same gift. In fact, that is something I pay attention to, it’s great to be there for others and listen to them, but they should also ask what’s going on for you, and listen to you if you need to share. One-sided relationships, with only one person ever listening, is not a healthy relationship, I’ve talked about this in the past with the blog, Emotional Vampires: They’ve Come To Suck Your Life. Listening should always be a two-way street.

It also sets that standard for your relationships, it connects you to others, and if you let it, helps you learn from what is shared and possibly apply that new information to your own life. Yeah, there is always a reason why someone asks us to listen, or we’re drawn to ask someone to share with us, we may not know why at the time, but, the reason usually reveals itself.

So how is listening a loving act? It shows you care, that you’re interested, and that you are willing to set your own problems or issues aside for a moment to listen to theirs, because, you care. It costs nothing, but your time, and it could be priceless for someone else to have you as a sounding board and have your attention for a time. It’s also loving to yourself because you are honoring a friendship and the principles you stand for by giving your time to someone else while they share with you. It helps with your self-esteem, with your compassion for others, and with as I mentioned, building your patience.

Never under-estimate the power listening to someone, it is a gift that not only is given to the other person, but to you as well. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have a difficult time sitting and listening to someone else? Why? Do you enjoy it when someone takes the time to listen to you? Why do you enjoy that? So, using the reasons that you enjoy being listened to, can you apply those to the other people in your life and understand why they would appreciate being listened to as well? When you have listened to people in the past, how did that make you feel? What new information did you learn? And, how, if any, many ways were you able to apply that to your own life? Do you see how listening to someone is a loving act? Why do you think you struggle with it? I challenge you SLAYER, to call someone this week and instead of talking about your life, ask them how they are and what’s going on, and as the they do, stay quiet, and listen, you may just learn something new.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you