We are only as good as the information that have been passed down to us. The information we’ve observed. And the information we’ve sought out. But many of us don’t seek out other ways of doing things because we usually think we have all the information we need. Many times we don’t. What may have worked for our parents, or theirs, or the people around us, may not work for us, yet we continue to try the ways of those other people and wonder why things are so difficult. Or, we know something isn’t working and we continue to do it anyway, trying to will it into working when it never will work. I can personally attest to that. My life before wasn’t working. I wasn’t happy and until things got to a place where I had to make some changes, some major changes, to save my life, I wasn’t willing to seek out a new way of doing things.
Up until that point I never even questioned how or why I would do the things I would. I was living with undiagnosed mental illness and trying to do things the way other people around me where doing them, or, how it appeared they were, through my warped sense of perspective. I also didn’t realize then that what we see on the outside, very often, does not reflect what’s going on on the inside for someone. I know it didn’t for me, and it didn’t occur to me that many of the people I came into contact with every day may also be showing the world one thing, but may be secretly struggling with something internally. Yet, I would continue to judge myself based on what was being presented. Using that as my guidelines, I wasn’t ever going to get any better.
When I made the decision to get well, I had to throw out most of what I knew. None of that was working and I had to find a new way of life if I wanted to be my best self. It was hard to break those patterns I had established over a lifetime, and to look at the behavior that contributed to me landing on my knees asking for help. Making different choices, new choices, better choices, wasn’t always easy to start, it felt strange and foreign a lot of the time, but I was encouraged to keep making them and if I did, I would see results. I helped to have a strong group of people in my life I could run things by when I wasn’t sure what the next right thing was to do, and sometimes even knowing what the right thing to do was, I would fall back into destructive behaviors from my past. And all of that, was OK. Even when we fall back, we have an awareness of what the better choices was, and, we can make that choice next time. For me, the more I was making better choices, those old choices from my past no longer felt good, I didn’t want to jeopardize the progress I was making, so I was making them less and less.
Until we question if what we’re doing is really best for us, we will do what we know, and what we know may be just the thing that’s standing in our way of happiness and good health. Today is a good time to ask yourself, am I doing what works for me, or am I just doing what I know? The answer may unlock the door to where you are supposed to be. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you look at the way you do things and question it, or just do what you know? When things go wrong, or don’t feel good, do you take that opportunity to look at how you got yourself there? What, in your life, have you changed to suit you that isn’t the way you used to do it, or what you knew? What prompted that change? Are there things in your life that you should also change? What are they? We should always be taking inventory, looking at our lives and asking ourselves what’s working and not working, what would we like to see change and how can we make that change happen? Even when we’ve made changes in the past, those changes might not be current with what we need today. Our lives are always changing and growing, or they should be, so we need to stay on top of what we need today, and what we need to do today to get to where we want to go, and should go.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
2 thoughts on “We Do What We Know”
Years ago, a friend of mine, Sarah, called me with uncontrollable laughter. She’d been baking a cake, and in the process, she filled a separate pan with water, and slid it in next to the cakes. Her young daughter was watching, and asked why. My friend had no real reason. This is where the story gets interesting.
Sarah decided to call her sister and see if she knew. Her sister said she learned it by watching their mom, but she didn’t know. So, they make a 3-way call to mom, and ask her to explain herself. Turns out, mom didn’t know. She’d always seen her mother do it, and figured that was the ‘right way’ to bake a cake.
So, they called Grandma, and demanded answers! Apparently, Grandma took a deep breath, chuckled a bit, and said, “I have no idea why any of you do it. I did it because my oven sat crooked.”
An uneven oven. Almost three generations of women, just doing a thing, because they figured it was the right way.
The story got me thinking about what I do just because I saw my influencers doing it, and I realized the list is long. Just think of all the wasted time and energy spent on trying to fold clothes the ‘right way’, or diet, or apply makeup, or parent my son! So many things done without even asking if there might be a better way for *me*.
Since then, I’ve done a huge overhaul on my expectations. I realized that there are many ways to reach the same objective, and if I’m creative enough, I can be satisfied with the outcome, and still be proud of my achievements.
Because, as my granny used to say, “Perfect is a four-letter word!”
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I LOVE that cake story, that’s awesome, we have things like that in our family as well, and when the question finally reaches Grandma, there’s a silly reason.
Always question things, just because it’s what we’ve been taught, or what we know, doesn’t mean it’s right for us today.
Keep on SLAYING on!
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