Before walking this path, I spent a lot of energy on things that did not serve me. Things that drained me, instead of filling me up, things that actually damaged my spirit rather than nourished it and allowed it to shine brighter. I was loyal, but loyal to a fault, staying in a relationship or friendship long after I should have left, and then feeling resentful about how I felt as a result. And, seeing as I had never asked myself what I truly liked to do, I wasn’t putting my energy into the things that inspired me and guided me to where I was supposed to go. In fact, for the most part, I was putting my energy everywhere it wasn’t worth going, as a result, I always felt depleted and empty.
When I stepped on a path of recovery I had to learn where to best spend my energy. I knew the first place it needed to go was for my own health and well-being, I had to learn to put it into self-care, but aside from those things and my career, I had to look at where my energy should be directed, and seeing as I was re-starting my life and a new way of life, it was an open field, which was kind of exciting, but also a little scary as well. I had to really look at my past and see what I had chosen to direct my energy, and I had to asses if that fit into the new way of life I was embarking on, most of the time it did not, as my energy in the past tended to focus on things that did not serve me, and had been, most of the time, spent on things that pulled me deeper into the darkness and kept me sick. Changes needed to be made, and a constant check-in to make sure I wasn’t falling back into my old way of thinking.
What the new thinking did do though is it invited me to explore, to say yes to new things, and to learn what and where my energy should be directed at. I made a commitment to look for the positive things in my life and to search for more, that was energy worth spending. And in my quest, I found a lot of new places to put my energy, and a lot of new people. I learned what type of friendships I should be putting my energy into, those that were nurturing and inspiring, and, supportive. Prior to this path I hadn’t always looked for friendships with those qualities, I had some great friends, many who are still in my life today, but there were always those friendships I sought out for other reasons; to make myself feel good, or because I wanted something or maybe because that person would allow me to remain who I was and wouldn’t challenge me, the types of friendships are ones that I had to say goodbye to.
Today I am much more careful about where my energy goes. And there are still times I put too much energy into something when I should back away, it is my nature to always put in 100% or more, so if it’s something I’m passionate about, I jump right in, and sometimes I need to maybe not jump so high, but the directions in which I put my energy has definitely changed over the years. Today I do look for good solid relationships, and places to put my energy that fill me with joy, or may fill someone else with joy, things that fill me with light and love and allow me to be my best self, keeping an eye on myself that I’m not giving all my energy away and not leaving any for myself.
We need to be mindful of where our energy goes and what it gives back to us. Make sure the energy you spend is worth it. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to give to much of your energy to people, places and things that are not worth it? Name some examples? Why do you think you do this? What can you do to stop it? How does it hurt you by doing this? How can stopping it help you? Be conscious of where your energy goes and if it’s worth the energy it takes to put it there. Make sure your energy is going to places that serve you and fill you up with joy, love and light, so you can continue to shine your light for yourself, and those all around you.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you