Good morning SLAYER! Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away, it usually does the opposite, the longer you neglect something, the bigger it becomes. Things are only as big as we give them power to be, tackle them early, and they stay right-sized.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
You can’t pretend the facts don’t exist.
You may ignore them, twist them, or bury them deep—but they don’t vanish.
When we avoid truth—because it’s too painful, too inconvenient, or too scary—we don’t protect ourselves. We injure ourselves.
Truth, no matter how sharp, is the foundation for growth. Without grounding in what is, we drift into fiction, stories, and confusion.
Feelings are persuasive. Our minds can convince us “this isn’t happening,” “that person didn’t mean it,” or “I’ll worry tomorrow.”
I used to be a master at it. I saw only what I wanted to see to preserve my story. Over time, I blurred the line between fact and fantasy until I couldn’t tell the difference.
But ignoring the truth doesn’t erase it—it delays the consequences. The costs only build: regret, confusion, broken relationships, self-betrayal.
Avoidance is a short-term refuge with long-term bankruptcy.
Sometimes the facts we need to face are terrifying.
“This relationship is toxic.”
“I’m not being honest with myself.”
“I’ve been settling.”
The pull to deny them is real. It’s easier to live in a comfortable lie than wrestle with the weight of truth.
But the irony is this: truth brings liberation. Even when it hurts, it frees you from the prison of your own illusions.
When you embrace reality—even the parts you don’t like—you gain:
Clarity. You see what’s actually happening, not what you fear is happening.
Authority. You can act from truth, not fear.
Power. You no longer cede control to illusions or assumptions.
Growth. You move forward with integrity instead of spinning in confusion.
Facts aren’t magic. They don’t always heal instantly. But they give you the platform to heal intentionally.
It takes courage—and consistency. But here’s how you begin:
Ask yourself: What do I know to be true?
In moments of chaos, pause. What fact can you anchor to—no matter how small?
Stop arguing with evidence.
When you catch yourself resisting what’s clear, name it: “I’m fighting the facts because I’m scared.”
Document what you see.
Journaling, voice notes, voice memos—let the truth come out in the light.
Let the facts guide action.
Knowing something is true isn’t passive. Use it to make decisions, to set boundaries, to course-correct.
Practice radical acceptance.
Acceptance doesn’t mean liking what is. It means not wasting your energy resisting it. Use your focus for forward motion.
I now carry “facts” in my SLAY toolbox—tools I use daily.
They help me discern between inner drama and real problems.
They help me take responsibility where I need it, and release what isn’t mine.
They help me walk confidently in my life, not guided by fear.
Yes, sometimes facts will cut deep. But you’re meant to walk through the fire—not be burned by it.
What facts in your life are you avoiding or denying?
How has ignoring them hurt you—emotionally, mentally, relationally?
What’s one small truth you can own today (even if it feels scary)?
How might your life shift if you stopped arguing with evidence?
What action can you take now based on what is, not what you wish it were?
S – Stop ignoring what you already know
L – Let truth, not fear, be your guide
A – Act from what you see, not what you imagine
Y – Yield to integrity—let your life be shaped by real facts
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one fact you’ve been avoiding—and how could facing it change your life?
Share your reflection in the comments. Let’s grow together in honesty.
And if you know someone who’s trapped by denial or stories, send this to them.
Sometimes, truth is the first arrow we need to slay illusions.
Good morning SLAYER! One of the most sincerest forms of love and respect is listening to what another has to say.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Everyone wants to be heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give someone is to listen to them. Listening to someone is an act of love. And practicing that gift is also a gift to yourself.
It was a gift I had to learn. Before this journey I, many times, wouldn’t listen, not truly, I had already made up my mind, or thought I was smarter than you, or, just didn’t care because you weren’t useful to me, as ugly as sounds, that was the truth. I wasn’t going to sit and listen to someone and not get something in return. With that mindset, I’m sure I missed many opportunities to learn something or to form a closer bond with someone already in my life. It’s giving someone the utmost respect, to listen, you’re saying that their opinion, or feelings, or situation, matters, and sometimes all someone wants to hear is that you’re willing to listen.
The act of listening takes patience, probably one of the main reasons I was so horrible at listening years ago, I was as impatient as they get, listening allows the other person to step into the spotlight, to have their moment to share, without interruptions, see, that’s the key component to listening, you don’t interrupt, or bud in while the other person is still speaking, so it trains us, to be patient, while we listen. It shows a great deal of humility to set aside our own wants and needs for a moment to let someone else express theirs. It allows the other person to step into the spotlight, to give them the moment to take center stage and talk about what is going on for them. And, hopefully they will return the gesture and give you the same gift. In fact, that is something I pay attention to, it’s great to be there for others and listen to them, but they should also ask what’s going on for you, and listen to you if you need to share. One-sided relationships, with only one person ever listening, is not a healthy relationship, I’ve talked about this in the past with the blog, Emotional Vampires: They’ve Come To Suck Your Life. Listening should always be a two-way street.
It also sets that standard for your relationships, it connects you to others, and if you let it, helps you learn from what is shared and possibly apply that new information to your own life. Yeah, there is always a reason why someone asks us to listen, or we’re drawn to ask someone to share with us, we may not know why at the time, but, the reason usually reveals itself.
So how is listening a loving act? It shows you care, that you’re interested, and that you are willing to set your own problems or issues aside for a moment to listen to theirs, because, you care. It costs nothing, but your time, and it could be priceless for someone else to have you as a sounding board and have your attention for a time. It’s also loving to yourself because you are honoring a friendship and the principles you stand for by giving your time to someone else while they share with you. It helps with your self-esteem, with your compassion for others, and with as I mentioned, building your patience.
Never under-estimate the power listening to someone, it is a gift that not only is given to the other person, but to you as well. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have a difficult time sitting and listening to someone else? Why? Do you enjoy it when someone takes the time to listen to you? Why do you enjoy that? So, using the reasons that you enjoy being listened to, can you apply those to the other people in your life and understand why they would appreciate being listened to as well? When you have listened to people in the past, how did that make you feel? What new information did you learn? And, how, if any, many ways were you able to apply that to your own life? Do you see how listening to someone is a loving act? Why do you think you struggle with it? I challenge you SLAYER, to call someone this week and instead of talking about your life, ask them how they are and what’s going on, and as the they do, stay quiet, and listen, you may just learn something new.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! No excuse is good enough to not do what’s best for you.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Before stepping on this path, my life was unmanageable. I mean, I wasn’t even living life, I was just going through the motions. It was obvious to me that things weren’t good, weren’t working, and weren’t looking good, the damage I was doing to myself was evident, and so when I reached out for help I cleaned house of all the things that stood in my way of a healthy and productive life. That was a good start, but what took me some time to realize is that even after I did that, and those big road blocks to my well-being had been taken away, I was still doing damage to myself in smaller, almost undetectable ways.
A lot of us function with a low-grade unmanageability in our life, like a dull hum in the background, one you almost can’t hear, but if you stop and listen it’s there. We may not even know we’re doing it, but, it’s the little things we do to ourselves to cause stress and discomfort in our lives, because we still think that’s what we deserve, that’s where we’re at our best, or chaos is all we’ve ever known, so we silently throw some chaos in our way life confetti to create a chaos party. At this point you may be asking yourself, do I do that? We all do to an extent, and, it can be just as damaging, or possibly more so, than the big glaring ways we may make our lives unmanageable.
Low-grade unmanageablity can be things like, not leaving on time so you’re constantly racing to not be late, not opening your mail, not washing something right away before a stain sinks in, letting your insurance lapse, waiting until the last minute to start your taxes, the list goes on, there are countless ways we sabotage ourselves everyday, and keep ourselves off solid footing and in peace of mind.
In a way it’s one of the cruelest forms of cruelty we commit on ourselves because it’s so subtle, we may not even realize the extent of the damage we’re causing. We may just chalk it up to forgetfulness, or being busy, or, procrastinating, or, we’re just not good at keeping track of the small things, but those small things add up to one big problem, we are damaging ourselves, and preventing ourselves from being our best selves. It is a way to keep harming ourselves, but we disguise it as something else. It can be very deceptive, or we can possibly know exactly what we’re doing and do it anyways. There are so many ways to practice this low-grade unmanageablity in our lives that we may lose sight of how many different ways we’re doing it.
When we are not taking the next right action, or stepping up to a responsibility, or not doing what’s best for us, we are possibly putting ourselves in danger, and it may not be physical, although it can be, but many times it’s just that hum, that annoying hum that keeps us agitated enough that we can’t find our peace, our happy place, but we are the ones who are doing it, and we are the ones who have the power to stop it. Make a commitment today to identify the low-grade unmanageablity in your life, what damage are you doing that you can turn around to give yourself that best chance of a healthy life? What little bumps can you take away that will give you a smoother road to travel? You may be setting yourself up for failure SLAYER, one tiny action at a time.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Can you identify the ways that you might create low-grade unmanageablility in your life? Why do you think you do this? How does it harm you or cause you stress or pain? How can you stop doing those things? Do you want to stop doing those things? If not, why not? SLAYER, there are many things we do not have control over, so why do we put roadblocks up for ourselves to keep us from being our best? Identify the ways you can clean up your side of the street, and keep your road to happiness free of any obstacles you may put in your own way. SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! Change will not happen if you’re waiting for some other person or some other time. You are the change you are looking for. You can make the change you seek.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! For every positive choice you make in your life, something else also changes for the better, change creates more change, and creates a chain reaction.
SLAY on!
Why are we so averse to change? Well, we’re certainly not averse to the circumstances changing in our lives that we don’t like, we just don’t want to have to change to change it. Therein lies the rub. Change starts with us. In order for anything in our lives to change, we have to make changes in order for that to happen. Did that just make you break out in hives?
Change used to make my anxiety level shoot up immediately. I hated change. I can still sometimes be resistant to it, but now it’s more about when a website changes its interface and I can’t find anything, or a favorite restaurant changes its menu and gets rid of my favorite dish, why do they do things like that? I have learned on my journey so far that I need to make the changes I want to see happen, I need to do the footwork, without that nothing changes.
I used to live my life in this constant cycle of same. One day just like the next because I kept doing the same things. I hated where I was, but I only knew one thing and I stayed there, just spinning my wheels to insanity because every day was just like the last. I kept thinking that life would just change it for me, by somehow just wishing for it, without any more effort from me than that. Well, if that’s you I’ve got a newsflash for you, it won’t change, and if it does, it’s probably for the worse, not better. You have the power to make a change and to set your life in a new direction. When I did that for myself, for me, it was reaching out for help, that act set the course of my life into one of recovery, of hope, of better choices, of self-love and healing, that one act of change changed the entire direction of my life, which as lead me right here.
Knowing what the power of change has done for me, I now look at change as a powerful act, something I can do because it’s within my control, I can choose to make different choices, better choices, I can make choices that are loving to myself, that honor myself, and when I do that, my life always changes for the better. Instead of looking at it as work, I now look at it as taking my power back instead of acting like a victim of life, I can make positive changes that will take me in the direction that I want to go, life will always do it’s dance, but if we can change our steps or learn some new dance moves, we can learn to dance along with it, even if we get knocked down from time to time, when we fall, we learn, and we make different choices the next time that same dance comes our way.
If we are not changing, we are not learning, we are not challenging ourselves, and testing what we are capable of, what we believe we deserve, and showing the universe we are willing to do the work to get it. When we demonstrate our willingness to change, the universe listens. And sometimes it starts right there, just by being willing, even before we are ready for the act, just the consideration of it can bring about change.
We all have sat in a state of frustration and thought, when are things going to change, they’re going to change when you do, so why not start today? What’s stopping you SLAYER?
SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you averse to change? Why do you think that is? What about change scares you, or makes you uncomfortable? What do you think your biggest roadblock is to change? How do you think you can overcome that? In the past, have there been instances where you have made a change and the result was different? Site those examples. Do you see that you making the change or changes caused things in your life to change? What stops you today from making changes? What in your life today, that you have control over, can you change to live your life in a healthier happier way? What’s stopping you? I challenge you SLAYER to be open to that change, to consider it, and of course, to take the necessary steps to make that change for you. Find it in you to overcome your fear to change, and make that fear less than the fear of staying the same. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! Happiness can always be found, even on the darkest days, if you remember to leave a light on.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
