Good morning SLAYER! Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and forget the unacceptable.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
let go
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let to of what you cannot change.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Holding On To Pain
I recently started working with a new Chiropractor. I have injuries from a car accident I was a passenger in about a year and a half ago. I have been in treatment for most of that time and am still suffering from lower back and neck pain. In speaking with this new doctor, I described the accident and what happened to my body during impact. She then turned to me and said, “you don’t ever have to tell that story again, in fact, I want you to let it go because it’s preventing you from healing from your injuries.” As someone who is very active and self-aware of my body and how it feels each day, it had never occurred to me that I could be getting in the way of my own healing by still holding on to anger towards the person who was driving the car I was in. This person, still to this day, has not taken responsibly for the accident, in fact, on more than one occasion actually blamed me for causing it from the passenger seat. I realized as she had said what she did that I was indeed holding on to a lot of anger and resentment for this person’s actions that day, and the days that followed, and that I was likely storing all of that negativity right in the center of my injury.
Having practiced yoga, and as someone who actively stretches, I know that we can store negative thoughts and emotions in our bodies. I’ve managed to jar those loose many times in a class or at home through stretch and suddenly that feeling or emotion comes pouring out at me, unleashed by the movement of my body. So I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me that I could be doing that with this injury, and that in doing so, I could be preventing myself from getting better. It’s true that every time I moved or felt discomfort from my injuries I would immediately think negative thoughts toward the situation and the person who caused them, I then would think about all the other things that person had done and never apologized for and nor ever would, I suppose, I stored those thoughts and feelings where he had done the most damage. But it’s time for that to stop. It’s time to let go of what was done so I can heal and move on. I have made other changes in my life to no longer include this person in my day-to-day life, and so now I need to cut the cord on my anger and set myself free.
Anger and resentment are tricky to let go of sometimes, and, they also can be very enticing. I know I can’t afford to hold resentments in my life, that is something I have learned and worked on for over a decade, they steal my peace of mind and serenity, so how have I let this go on for a year and a half, and let it affect my physical health? How did I not see the connection between my anger and resentment and my injuries? As I said, they can be tricky, cunning little suckers, but now the jig is up, their cover has been blown, so it’s time to get to work and release those feelings so I can get on track to recover from the trauma that was done. And, even though I know how to release my anger, I know the tricks, the places to go within myself, there’s a part of me that holds on, and when I do, I feel it physically in my body, so, as of today, I say no more, I am taking my body back, my health back, and my peace of mind back. I will no longer give it to this person who doesn’t deserve to hold that energy in my life, I will focus on the good, and there is a lot of it, I will stay in the light, I will practice extra self-care and love myself, and those who love me in my life, and I will let it go.
How much of the physical ailments and injuries we experience are caused by our unwillingness to let go? What damage are we doing to ourselves by holding on to the past? Today is the day we take our bodies back, we begin to heal what we can by letting go of the past, forgiving ourselves for hanging on, and no longer giving power to those who have done us harm. Fill up those hurt places with love, with care, and hope, and free ourselves from the shackles that we’ve put on ourselves by imprisoning ourselves in the past. Let go SLAYER and set yourself free. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you see how holding onto resentments and anger from your past could manifest itself into physical ailments, or prevent you from recovering from an injury? Is there something in your life that this may apply to? What it is it? Why haven’t you let it go? How does it get in the way of your recovery? What can you do today to let it go, or at least start the process? Imagine yourself having already done it, how does it feel? What does that look like? Stay in that place SLAYER, from that place it is easier to let go and to release yourself from what is holding you back and holding your peace hostage, you hold the key to your own release, turn the key and walk into freedom.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone or anything else that much power over your life.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! In the process of letting go you will lose many things, but you will find yourself.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Wear The World Like A Loose Garment
Before stepping on this path I was constantly trying to control the world around me. I would manipulate things to try to force a favorable outcome for myself. I would lie. Cheat. Steal. I would do anything I could to try to get the result I was looking for. As those of you know who have tried this approach, it is impossible to control people, places and things, the only thing we can control is how we react to the world around us, and how we conduct ourselves while we’re out there.
For me, when I made a decision to live a healthier life and made a commitment to make better choices for myself, I had to find a balance of not trying to control everything, but also not just cutting myself off from the world, to observe what was going on, changing those things I didn’t like that were in my control and learning to accept the rest. The observing things and letting them go proved to be the most challenging. It was hard to just see things and not try to control what I didn’t like, right down to noise outside my window from a garbage truck. I mean, doesn’t the truck driver know I’m trying to concentrate over here!? I was told to wear the world like a loose garment. I thought, how am I going to do that? Not react or try to change things? But I learned, I had to, my mental health depended on it. I could no longer enjoy the luxury of getting so tied up in things being my way, and that being the only way, it wasn’t healthy for me, or those around me. I had to start letting things go, so I took the loose garment approach and set off on my goal to start observing and stop obsessing.
It wasn’t easy at first. Just noticing things, things that bothered me, or weren’t “right” or things that could be done better, but I had to ask myself if it was my business in the first place, and most of the time, it was not, I had to ask myself if anyone had asked for my suggestions, and, most of the time, they had not, and I had to ask myself if I wanted to be right or I wanted to be happy, well, I wanted both, but many times, that wasn’t an option, so I had to choose happy. I practiced just acknowledging things as they came up, without reacting to them, that wasn’t always easy, but like anything else, the more I did it the easier it got. When I found it difficult to let something go I had to ask myself if it was my business to be worrying about it in the first place, most of the time, it was not. The better I got at this the less stress and anxiety I felt in my life, and, because I wasn’t trying to control the outcome I was able to see things from a different perspective, and, I found it easier to find solutions to things because I wasn’t trying to meddle in the results.
The more we’re able to wear the world like a loose garment, let things slide off of us, and not try to manipulate the results to suit our own needs, to happier we’ll be. Now, my illness used to tell me different, but today I know the truth, and I know what is best for me to live the kind of life I want to live, and that is one where I know the difference between what I am able to change, should change, and what is none of my business all together, and that frees me up to do a lot of more productive things, like reaching out to all of you here at STATE OF SLAY. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you try to manipulate things in your favor? What is the result of that? How does it help you? How does it hurt you? What happens when things don’t go your way? How does that impact your day? Are you able to let things go if you don’t get your way? If not, why not? If not, how can you learn to let things go and trust the outcome? Do you get involved in situations that are not really your business? Do you get told things are not your business? Do you still involve yourself? Typically, what is the result? How does that harm you? What if you just observed things SLAYER, and not get involved in every battle, every thing that catches your eye as something you don’t like, or need to fix? What if you choose to let those things go that shouldn’t involve you? What would you do with all the free time? Perhaps continue to work on your own self-love and self-care? Just a gentle suggestion
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! If you want to fly, let go of everything that weighs you down.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You can only accept mistakes and flaws in others to the degree that you accept your own.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
An Ending Brings A New Beginning
We tend to hold onto things. We hold on to them, many times, far longer than we should. We cause ourselves unnecessary pain and heartache, when we should really just let go. We sometimes live in denial that something has ended, we try to live in the past, to conjure up memories or feelings and try to hold on to them when they can’t live in the present. We drag our heels and drag our hearts through the dirt as we try to live in a place that no longer exists. Let go. And not just let go, look at it as an opportunity for something new. A new beginning.
Now I realize that that may have just sent a shutter down your spine. But really, honestly, it’s a good thing. The act of letting go. And the realization that you should let go is a huge act of self-love. To not cause yourself pain by trying to keep yourself somewhere you no longer have no business being. By being responsible for your own pain for not letting go and moving on. Walking away when it’s time takes a long of love and a lot of courage, to know that, if you move on, that is actually a positive act, an act that demonstrates self-respect and one that shows you know your worth. And when it’s time to go and you take that action, it allows something else to come in, something, perhaps, better suited to who you are today, or what you’ve been looking for. When we stay where we are no longer meant to be, we block anything new from coming in because we are spending all of our energy trying to make it right in the wrong place. We make excuses, concessions to stay, and while we’re doing that we’re not seeing that perhaps what we’ve wished for, or wanted,all along, is right within our reach. Putting an end to something takes some faith, faith in yourself that you’re doing the right thing, and faith that whatever inner voice guides you, or outer voice, that there is a plan for you, that you are being guided to whom, or where, you are meant to be. And once you start to take that direction, all roads start to open up to help you get there. So many times we’re heard saying, “why is this so difficult?” Well, it may be difficult because we’re not mean to be there at all. So the question should be, “if this is so difficult, is there somewhere else I should be?” There may be a reason you’re finding things so difficult, the universe may be trying to tell you something.
An ending is really a chance for a new beginning. And perhaps a place that lets you be you, that lets you shine bright. We have to go through the things that aren’t right for us to find out what is. It’s all just part of our journey, our learning of who we are and what we want, so don’t look at it as a bad thing, look at it as information, and a way to lead you to where you should be, and where you are mean to be. Life is already full of obstacles, why put some extra ones in your own way by hanging on when you should go? Why not look at the end of something as a chance to try something new, you never know, that ending may have been set up just to lead you to the beginning of the life of your dreams…but you won’t know if you stay stuck right where you are. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to hang on to situations or relationships even when you know you should move on? If so, why do you do that? Write down a time when you held on when you should have let go. How did that make you feel? Write down a time when you did let go. How did that make you feel? Which felt better? Within your life now, are there people, places and things that you should be letting go of or ending? What are they? Why are you hanging on? What do you think will happen if you let go? Are these feelings or concerns valid, or just fears? What are you afraid of? Are these fears based in fact, or are they tied to old stories and old ideas from your past? Look at your life SLAYER, and look at those things that you should end, end them, and don’t be afraid, when we let go of what we no longer want or need, we let the universe know we’re ready for what we do want and need, and we’re ready to turn an ending into a new beginning.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
It’s Very Difficult To Push Love Away
Now don’t get me wrong, it can be done, I’ve done it, back when I didn’t love myself, I did push love away because I didn’t accept it, or didn’t believe it, or felt I was unlovable. So, it is possible to push love away, but it takes an effort.
When I started on this path I hated myself. I hated myself so much I would look down to brush my teeth because I couldn’t stand the site of myself in my bathroom mirror. I knew a journey of self-love was going to be a long road, and I wasn’t sure it was a road I would ever find an end to, but I started the journey anyways because I could see others on that road who had found what I was looking for. I surrounded myself with the people on that road, all on different parts of their journeys, but on the same road I was now walking, and those I found on my path showed me love. It was hard to accept at first. I didn’t trust it. And, I still didn’t believe I deserved it. But they loved me anyway, they loved me far before I loved myself. And even when I resisted, or told myself it wasn’t real, they kept loving me, and showed me I was worthy of love, as they all were. I learned to love them for their support, their encouragement, and through their love I slowly learned to love myself. I was shown that no matter what I had done in the past, no matter how ashamed I may have been by my own actions, no matter how disappointed I may have been in myself, I was worthy of love, I was lovable, and, I was love. I was no longer able to push it away, even on those days those negative voices in my head wanted to tell me differently, their love was far greater than my fear of it.
There is love all around us. Much more than we realize. And even more when we’re open to letting it in. We may push it away. Say we don’t have it. But the truth is, it’s there, we just have to let it i, believe we deserve it, and stop pushing it away. Making the decision to allow love in our life is sometimes the first act of love we show ourselves, and sometimes is the biggest act love we can show ourselves. It takes much more effort to push love away than it does to let it in, but once we do that’s when the magic starts to happen, and those dark places within us start to see some light. It may be a little at first, but when we let it in, and we feel it come in, it may just be as smile, a tiny warm spot in the darkness were we lived, but if we focus on the light, that warmth, it will grow, it will get warmer, brighter, and it will start to feel like home.
Let go of what stands in your way of love and let it in, even if you think you don’t deserve it, let it in anyways and learn to trust that you are worthy of it. If we just stop pushing it away, we may just realize that it’s there and through the love of others, we may also find a way to love ourselves, and there is no greater gift than that of self-love. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you see all the love in your life? Do you let it in? Do you believe you are worthy of love? If not, why not? Do you push love away? Why do you do this? What in your past has caused you to do this? Are those reasons valid today, or part of the old you, the story of your past that is no longer valid, or, you can choose to no longer make valid. Does love scare you? Why? Do you have love for yourself? If not, why not? Write down 3 things, SLAYER, that you can find love in yourself. Find 3. Did you have love for yourself in the past? If yes, what happened, how did you lose that love for yourself? You can get it back SLAYER. And, if you’ve never had it, you can find it. Look for the love in your life. Find people, like yourself who are also seeking love, look for those who have found it, who will support you on your journey to find love, let their love fill you up until you can find your own. Allow love in your life and tell yourself you are worthy of love. I know you can SLAYER, if I can, you can, and, I already love you, so use my love to start your journey. I will see you there. I love you.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
