Growing Through Something Difficult

I’m all about changing the language I use every day to reflect a positive life and positive communication with myself. For most of my life, my default place was a negative space, I would tell people I was cursed and that’s why things were always going wrong in my life, or things were so dark. The truth is, it was the result of the choices I was making and how I was living my life. It took me hitting a really hard bottom and some serious work after to realize that. But I’ve walked this path of self-love and positivity for many years, and my life today is far beyond what I could have imagined, or even hoped for back in those dark years, and I make a conscious effort to speak in a way that is healing and nurturing to my journey.

I heard someone this week say she was “growing” through a difficult time, instead of saying “going” through a difficult time, something I’ve said many times in my life when I may be walking through a patch that is more challenging, and I’ve always grown through those times, in fact, that’s when I grow the most, but it never occurred to me to change that one word in that statement to reflect what is really going on, and, changing a negative into something positive.

No matter what we are going through, we are meant to go through it, and there’s always a reason for it, typically it’s growth. Those things that come along and challenge us prepare us for what’s coming next, or, may be showing us where in the wrong place and prompting us to make change, but there is growth in that. When we work to change our perspective to see those challenging times as an opportunity to grow we start to look for the growth in what we’re going through, not look at it as something bad that is happening to us we’re just trying to get through. If we are always just trying to “get through” it, we’re not taking away the growth or lesson in it, and, that situation will keep happening until we get it, so, why not “get it” the first time and move on? We can’t control what life is going to throw at us, but we can control how we deal with it and react to it, and by just changing that, and looking for the positive in those situations, we are able to take some control in how things will go from there because if you’re able to get out the situation what you need to that situation will not come back around again, or at least, happen less, because sometimes the universe likes to see if we really did learn what we should have and it throws us a situation similar, or the same, just to check, and if we did grow and learn so that next time should be easier because you are now making better choices.

Changing our language, what we say, and how we speak to ourselves, is the difference of working through something you label as negative, or an opportunity to grow, and wouldn’t we rather have an opportunity over a negative experience? We have the power to change a negative to an opportunity, and that in itself is already a positive. Look for the opportunities in your life to grow rather than just trying to get through a difficult time and see the difference that makes as you “grow” through your next difficult time. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to focus on the negative? When something is happening that you’ve labeled negative, do you let it get you down or begrudgingly go through it? If you do look at those experiences as difficult, how do you think they might change if you changed your outlook into one of growth, rather than punishment? Thinking back to your last challenging time, what growth do you think came out of it? And, how do you think you’ve used what you learned after coming through that? How do you think you’ll use it in the future? If that same, or similar, experience were to come again, how could you use what you learned to handle it differently? Life is a journey of learning and growth, it can be an adventure if we choose to look at it that way, and when we do, no matter what comes our way, we can look at it as just another opportunity to grow.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and forget the unacceptable.

New blog goes up Tuesday,  until then…SLAY on!

state of slay bad attitude

Entitlement, Entitlement!

When I first started to walk this path, I had to give up a lot of things, make changes, leave my old way of life behind. The ways I used to deal with problems or cope with life were killing me, literally, and so I had to learn new ways, and even though I knew what I was doing was for my greater good, it’s hard to let go of a lifetime of doing things a certain way, ways that my brain told me protected me and helped me to function in my dysfunctional world. But I did it. I dove in to these changes to the best of my ability and as I got better at implementing them in my life, without me even realizing it, I started to feel entitled to having things go my way. I thought, well, I’ve made all these changes, done all this work, how dare life just go on as normal and throw me these curve balls, or difficult things to handle, when I should now have everything go my way. Doesn’t life know how much I’m working to make positive changes in my life!? Well, sure I was working hard, and I was making progress, but that doesn’t mean that life now was going to roll out the red carpet and I would be on easy street for the rest of my life. Life still did what life does, it ebbs and flows, and, we have no control over that.

What we do have control over is our attitude, and how we look at perceived negativities in our life. Life may not always go the way we’d like it to go, but how do we know what way it should go anyway? We only have the tiniest bit of information, the part that pertains to us, we don’t know how our part plays into the big scheme of things, and how all of those, perceived, negative things may just end up being the most positive thing in our lives because they challenged us, and taught us, and coached us into being who we are today, or who we were meant to be. Life doesn’t owe us anything. We owe ourselves our best effort everyday, to be the best of who we are, or at the very least, the best we have in that moment. It’s up to us to find those positive places in our life and to let our light shine, not only for ourselves, but so others can see it, and know there is light in the world, even at it’s darkest. We are not entitled to anything just because we’ve made positive changes in our life, but, when we make positive changes positive things come, and some negative things will come as well, but when we live in the light those negative things may not seem to big as they once did, or, you may realize that they were never really negative at all, they were just shifting your path or direction slightly to align you to where you were supposed to be. Where we find grace in our recovery or positive direction is when we can ride those waves, accept what is, learn where we can, and make the best or better choices for ourselves, without making more waves.

During the years of living this way, I do expect the good, because I give and live in the good, but I by no means feel entitled to it. I know what comes my way is there to guide me and teach me so I can continue to learn on this path, so that I can continue to meet others, like me, on this path and learn from them, and so I may share what I’ve learned on this path with those who may have just started their journey. Life is going to do what it’s going to do, and I’m going to do what I’ve been taught, to except what comes my way as what is meant to, then, it’s up to me what I do with that. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel like life owes you something? If yes, why? Do you see that that kind of thinking only breeds resentments? What positive changes have you made in your life lately and what have been the effects of that? How does this change how you deal with negative things in our life? How has the way you deal with these negative things changed? How as that changed you? We are not guaranteed anything in life, but we can make the most of what we have and what we’ve been given. We can choose to learn from those things we may not have wanted for ourselves, and choose to see the lesson in them, or the opportunity to do better than we have in the past. Maybe even use them to help someone else, you never know what you are capable of as long as you live in humility and accept whatever life throws your way instead of expecting life to cater to your wishes and needs.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let to of what you cannot change.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay pain holding on

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Never make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay goal

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help someone else up.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay light (1)

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Get into the habit of being grateful.

New blog is up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay interrupt

If You Feel Like You’re Sliding, Ground Yourself In Gratitude

Because even the smallest anchor can save you from the storm

There are seasons in life when the ground beneath your feet doesn’t feel steady. You’re doing everything “right” — showing up, trying hard, taking care of what needs you — and yet somehow you still feel yourself slipping. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Energetically.

It starts quietly.

A missed step here.
A spiraling thought there.
A wave of heaviness that settles on your chest and won’t explain itself.

Before you know it, you’re sliding — away from your center, away from your peace, away from the version of you who feels grounded and clear.

I know that feeling well.
We all do.

And when life gets like this, it’s easy to panic.
It’s easy to think: What’s wrong with me? Why am I regressing? Why can’t I hold it together?

But here’s the truth most of us forget:

A slide isn’t a failure.
It’s a signal.
And gratitude is your handhold back to solid ground.


The Quiet Descent We Don’t Notice Until We’re Already Falling

Life rarely knocks us off balance with one big moment. Instead, it’s the slow accumulation of little things:

  • A slight disappointment

  • A broken routine

  • A lingering insecurity

  • A change in circumstance

  • A comment that hits us the wrong way

  • A feeling we don’t want to admit we’re feeling

The slide is subtle.

It begins when we stop listening to ourselves.
When we stop resting.
When we stop checking in on our heart.
When we slip into autopilot because being present feels too heavy.

Suddenly, we’re overwhelmed. Or discouraged. Or disconnected from the person we know we truly are.

The human instinct is to claw our way back through force — push harder, work more, suppress the feeling, pretend it’s not happening.

But the way back isn’t through force.

It’s through grounding.
It’s through presence.
It’s through gratitude.


Gratitude Doesn’t Erase the Hard — It Stabilizes You Inside It

Gratitude gets misunderstood as a way to bypass pain.
But real gratitude doesn’t ignore how you feel.

It simply gives you something to hold onto while you feel it.

Gratitude says:

  • “Yes, this is hard… and here is something still supporting you.”

  • “Yes, you’re tired… and here is something still holding you steady.”

  • “Yes, you’re overwhelmed… and here is something still working in your favor.”

It returns your mind to what is real — not imagined fear, not spiraling emotion, not worst-case scenarios.

Gratitude pulls you out of the fall and reorients you toward truth.

It doesn’t invalidate your struggle.
It anchors you through it.


A Small Gratitude Can Shift a Heavy Heart

When you feel yourself sliding, you don’t need a miracle.
You don’t need a life overhaul.
You don’t need everything to be perfect.

You just need one grounding thought — one spark of gratitude — to interrupt the descent.

It can be as simple as:

  • “I’m grateful for the breath that steadies me.”

  • “I’m grateful for one person who loves me.”

  • “I’m grateful for the strength I don’t always give myself credit for.”

  • “I’m grateful for the lessons that shaped me.”

  • “I’m grateful for this moment of awareness — it means I can choose again.”

Gratitude is not about pretending everything is wonderful.
It’s about remembering that not everything is falling apart.

It’s the shift that gives you back your footing.


Gratitude Helps You Regain Perspective — and Power

When we slide emotionally, our mind tries to convince us that everything is collapsing. Gratitude counters that narrative with something more grounded and true.

It:

  • Softens the panic

  • Brings the nervous system down

  • Helps you see the full picture instead of the distorted one

  • Reconnects you to what’s working, not just what feels wrong

  • Reminds you of your resilience

  • Guides you back to your inner stability

Gratitude says:
“You’ve survived every version of life you thought would break you. You can survive this, too.”

And when you remember that, the slide slows.
When you feel that, the ground steadies.
When you breathe into it, you begin to rise again.


You’re Not Failing — You’re Feeling

There is nothing wrong with you for having moments where your footing slips.
There is nothing wrong with you for needing support.
There is nothing wrong with you for losing your center and finding it again.

Strong people slide.
Resilient people slide.
Healing people slide.

But grounded people know how to climb back.

Gratitude is your rope.
Your anchor.
Your reminder that, even in the wobble, you are held.


SLAY Reflection

S — Sit With Your Truth

Where have you been feeling emotionally unsteady or overwhelmed lately?

L — Look at the Pattern

What small shifts or stressors may have contributed to your sense of “sliding”?

A — Align With Your Values

What gratitude practice — even a simple one — can help you feel grounded in this moment?

Y — Yield to Growth

What becomes possible when you anchor yourself in gratitude instead of fear?


Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What gratitude has helped ground you when life feels unsteady?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to find their footing right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Consequences

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone or anything else that much power over your life.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Happy First