Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Our challenges don’t define us, our actions do.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Act

We Become What We Do

Before walking this path I had become someone I wasn’t very proud of. It happened over time, each time I crossed a line I said I never would I became someone darker, more ashamed, and further away from who I truly was, and the more I made poor choices and didn’t honor my true self the easier it became to continue down that path and step all over the me that was dying inside. I didn’t start out a bad person, but I kept making a series of bad choices that lead me to a place of such emptiness and darkness I doubted I could ever find my way back. But I could, we all can. We are what we do, our actions determine who we are and who we become, talk is just that, talk, it doesn’t cause any change, it’s the action we take that can change us, either for the good, or bad.

Making a commitment to change and to not only reclaim who I knew, but find out who I truly was, I was told that my actions would determine who I would turn out to be. Thinking I was a horrible human, and being new on the path of positive thinking and actions, I wasn’t sure that I could change things around, I felt like it was a steep climb back, but I set out to do what was suggested, and I was told I only had to do what I could each day, and even if it was only one thing, that alone was enough to set me on a different path. I had to really focus on the good in my life, and even when it was hard to find it to start, I would find at least one thing and focus on that. I, first and foremost, made a commitment to be accountable, to myself, and to those in my life. If I made a commitment I had to stick to it, and if I couldn’t I had to reach out within a reasonable time and explain why I wasn’t able to follow through. That in itself kept me honest, and being honest was a big first step for someone who had been living her whole life lying to herself and everyone around her. Accountability kept me transparent, and even though I felt exposed at first, it didn’t allow me to slip back to me old nefarious ways, and if I did manage to briefly, it didn’t allow me to stay there. From there I started to make a point to be thoughtful, to find compassion for others, to not judge those around me, and myself, to find forgiveness, to be kind, and the more I practiced these actions the more I became those things, and, the more my old actions didn’t feel good, or like me anymore.

Without even realizing it, what we do is what we become, it can happen so seamlessly we don’t even realize it’s happening, but if we don’t like who we are, or where we find ourselves, we have the power to change that. Focus on the good, focus on the attributes you had or want to have and act in a way that honors those attributes and you. Even the smallest act can impact us in a big way when we change our way of thinking and stop acting out in a way that harms us and those around us. Finding the love in our hearts and letting that lead us to the us we are meant to be, the us that is our best selves and the us we can share with others and encourage them to be their best selves on their path. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you see how your actions can affect who you become? How have your actions affected who you are today? What are you most proud of? What would you like to change? What action can you take today to change who you’ve become? Have you already changed who you are in a positive way? How so? We have the power to become whomever we want to be, or whomever we are meant to be just by changing our actions. Set out today to be your best self and taking action that supports that and allows you to shine.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Every time you’re able to find the humor in a situation, you win.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Laugh

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The only thing you can change is yourself, but that can change everything.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Attitude

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! A dangerous place to live is in a state of “I’ve always done it this way.” When going back doesn’t interest you anymore, you’re doing something right.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay New Beginning

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Trust the journey and know that a setback is merely a chance for a stronger comeback!

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Believe In Yourself

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! It’s not the unknown that we fear, it’s what we think we know about the unknown that we fear.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay What We Know

We Do What We Know

We are only as good as the information that have been passed down to us. The information we’ve observed. And the information we’ve sought out. But many of us don’t seek out other ways of doing things because we usually think we have all the information we need. Many times we don’t. What may have worked for our parents, or theirs, or the people around us, may not work for us, yet we continue to try the ways of those other people and wonder why things are so difficult. Or, we know something isn’t working and we continue to do it anyway, trying to will it into working when it never will work. I can personally attest to that. My life before wasn’t working. I wasn’t happy and until things got to a place where I had to make some changes, some major changes, to save my life, I wasn’t willing to seek out a new way of doing things.

Up until that point I never even questioned how or why I would do the things I would. I was living with undiagnosed mental illness and trying to do things the way other people around me where doing them, or, how it appeared they were, through my warped sense of perspective. I also didn’t realize then that what we see on the outside, very often, does not reflect what’s going on on the inside for someone. I know it didn’t for me, and it didn’t occur to me that many of the people I came into contact with every day may also be showing the world one thing, but may be secretly struggling with something internally. Yet, I would continue to judge myself based on what was being presented. Using that as my guidelines, I wasn’t ever going to get any better.

When I made the decision to get well, I had to throw out most of what I knew. None of that was working and I had to find a new way of life if I wanted to be my best self. It was hard to break those patterns I had established over a lifetime, and to look at the behavior that contributed to me landing on my knees asking for help. Making different choices, new choices, better choices, wasn’t always easy to start, it felt strange and foreign a lot of the time, but I was encouraged to keep making them and if I did, I would see results. I helped to have a strong group of people in my life I could run things by when I wasn’t sure what the next right thing was to do, and sometimes even knowing what the right thing to do was, I would fall back into destructive behaviors from my past. And all of that, was OK. Even when we fall back, we have an awareness of what the better choices was, and, we can make that choice next time. For me, the more I was making better choices, those old choices from my past no longer felt good, I didn’t want to jeopardize the progress I was making, so I was making them less and less.

Until we question if what we’re doing is really best for us, we will do what we know, and what we know may be just the thing that’s standing in our way of happiness and good health. Today is a good time to ask yourself, am I doing what works for me, or am I just doing what I know? The answer may unlock the door to where you are supposed to be. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you look at the way you do things and question it, or just do what you know? When things go wrong, or don’t feel good, do you take that opportunity to look at how you got yourself there? What, in your life, have you changed to suit you that isn’t the way you used to do it, or what you knew? What prompted that change? Are there things in your life that you should also change? What are they? We should always be taking inventory, looking at our lives and asking ourselves what’s working and not working, what would we like to see change and how can we make that change happen? Even when we’ve made changes in the past, those changes might not be current with what we need today. Our lives are always changing and growing, or they should be, so we need to stay on top of what we need today, and what we need to do today to get to where we want to go, and should go.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Happiness and success depend on the child that you still carry within.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Inner Child

Would Little You Be Proud Of You Today

When I was little girl I used to dream about what I thought my life would be like. Now, it was things that I thought were what I should be dreaming about, and back then, that little ol’ me, didn’t know that what would make me most proud had nothing to do with “things,” but the person I could become and the ways I could share that with others. As I got older I started to feel disappointed in myself, in my eyes, I could never do things good enough or how I had imagined them in my head, I always fell short, and as I continued into adolescence, that disappointment turned to hate. I hated myself and started a very long journey of pretending to be who you wanted me to be, or who I thought you wanted me to be, to hide who I really was. I thought, if you knew the real me, you would hate me as much as I did, and as much as I would have told you back then that I didn’t care, I did care, because it was one thing for me to hate myself, but if you all did too, I didn’t think I could survive that. As a result, most of my actions were a result of the fear of that, and most of my actions abused that little girl full of dreams inside of me.

It wasn’t until I made a commitment to get better, many years later, that I started to think about that little me, and recognized that she was still in there and I had done a horrible job protecting and loving her. She was really beat up, that girl, and feeling small, and so part of my job in getting well was to show her the love I had neglected to give her most of my life, and to protect her, show her it was safe, and show her that I was not only able to love her, but love myself. It helped, on those difficult days, to think of her, that little me, sitting alone feeling vulnerable, I could see her there, so when I was battling those negative voices in my head that told me I wasn’t worth fighting for, I would say, maybe not, but she is and I’m going to fight for her.

As I got better she was less shy about coming out, she learned to trust me and when I would celebrate a milestone or overcome something that used to defeat me, she was always there to celebrate and cheer me on. And as I got more confident so did she, until we started working together and learning to love who we were. There are times on this journey that I have let her down, even hurt her, but the work I’ve done allows me to go back and find her and make things right.

My life has changed a lot over the past six months. I have a lot things in my life that I wasn’t sure I would ever have. Things that you can’t buy or easily find just because you want them because they come when you’re ready for them, when you are able to share your best self and honor who you are. I was reflecting on all the good in my life today and I thought about the little me inside of myself, and tears came to my eyes as I saw her smile and felt that she was proud of me, that this was the place she used to imagine and hope for, not only in terms of where I find myself in my life, but where I find myself, in place of self-love and acceptance. It’s been a long rocky road to get to this place, and I know, no matter where the journey goes from here, that if who I am and what I’m doing doesn’t make that little me proud, then I’m on the wrong path. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think about the little you that’s inside of yourself? When you think of that person, what do you feel? Do you think that little you is proud of you today? If yes, why? If not, why? If you don’t think they are, what can you do to make them proud? To show them love? To let them know they’re safe? When you were that little person, what did you hope for for the future? Have those hopes and dreams materialized? If not, how can you work to get those things into your life? Find some time to check in with your little self and see if there is something you can do to make them proud today.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you