fight

If You Feel Like You’re Sliding, Ground Yourself In Gratitude

Because even the smallest anchor can save you from the storm

There are seasons in life when the ground beneath your feet doesn’t feel steady. You’re doing everything “right” — showing up, trying hard, taking care of what needs you — and yet somehow you still feel yourself slipping. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Energetically.

It starts quietly.

A missed step here.
A spiraling thought there.
A wave of heaviness that settles on your chest and won’t explain itself.

Before you know it, you’re sliding — away from your center, away from your peace, away from the version of you who feels grounded and clear.

I know that feeling well.
We all do.

And when life gets like this, it’s easy to panic.
It’s easy to think: What’s wrong with me? Why am I regressing? Why can’t I hold it together?

But here’s the truth most of us forget:

A slide isn’t a failure.
It’s a signal.
And gratitude is your handhold back to solid ground.

The Quiet Descent We Don’t Notice Until We’re Already Falling

Life rarely knocks us off balance with one big moment. Instead, it’s the slow accumulation of little things:

  • A slight disappointment

  • A broken routine

  • A lingering insecurity

  • A change in circumstance

  • A comment that hits us the wrong way

  • A feeling we don’t want to admit we’re feeling

The slide is subtle.

It begins when we stop listening to ourselves.
When we stop resting.
When we stop checking in on our heart.
When we slip into autopilot because being present feels too heavy.

Suddenly, we’re overwhelmed. Or discouraged. Or disconnected from the person we know we truly are.

The human instinct is to claw our way back through force — push harder, work more, suppress the feeling, pretend it’s not happening.

But the way back isn’t through force.

It’s through grounding.
It’s through presence.
It’s through gratitude.

Gratitude Doesn’t Erase the Hard — It Stabilizes You Inside It

Gratitude gets misunderstood as a way to bypass pain.
But real gratitude doesn’t ignore how you feel.

It simply gives you something to hold onto while you feel it.

Gratitude says:

  • “Yes, this is hard… and here is something still supporting you.”

  • “Yes, you’re tired… and here is something still holding you steady.”

  • “Yes, you’re overwhelmed… and here is something still working in your favor.”

It returns your mind to what is real — not imagined fear, not spiraling emotion, not worst-case scenarios.

Gratitude pulls you out of the fall and reorients you toward truth.

It doesn’t invalidate your struggle.
It anchors you through it.

A Small Gratitude Can Shift a Heavy Heart

When you feel yourself sliding, you don’t need a miracle.
You don’t need a life overhaul.
You don’t need everything to be perfect.

You just need one grounding thought — one spark of gratitude — to interrupt the descent.

It can be as simple as:

  • “I’m grateful for the breath that steadies me.”

  • “I’m grateful for one person who loves me.”

  • “I’m grateful for the strength I don’t always give myself credit for.”

  • “I’m grateful for the lessons that shaped me.”

  • “I’m grateful for this moment of awareness — it means I can choose again.”

Gratitude is not about pretending everything is wonderful.
It’s about remembering that not everything is falling apart.

It’s the shift that gives you back your footing.

Gratitude Helps You Regain Perspective — and Power

When we slide emotionally, our mind tries to convince us that everything is collapsing. Gratitude counters that narrative with something more grounded and true.

It:

  • Softens the panic

  • Brings the nervous system down

  • Helps you see the full picture instead of the distorted one

  • Reconnects you to what’s working, not just what feels wrong

  • Reminds you of your resilience

  • Guides you back to your inner stability

Gratitude says:
“You’ve survived every version of life you thought would break you. You can survive this, too.”

And when you remember that, the slide slows.
When you feel that, the ground steadies.
When you breathe into it, you begin to rise again.

You’re Not Failing — You’re Feeling

There is nothing wrong with you for having moments where your footing slips.
There is nothing wrong with you for needing support.
There is nothing wrong with you for losing your center and finding it again.

Strong people slide.
Resilient people slide.
Healing people slide.

But grounded people know how to climb back.

Gratitude is your rope.
Your anchor.
Your reminder that, even in the wobble, you are held.

SLAY Reflection

S — Sit With Your Truth

Where have you been feeling emotionally unsteady or overwhelmed lately?

L — Look at the Pattern

What small shifts or stressors may have contributed to your sense of “sliding”?

A — Align With Your Values

What gratitude practice — even a simple one — can help you feel grounded in this moment?

Y — Yield to Growth

What becomes possible when you anchor yourself in gratitude instead of fear?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What gratitude has helped ground you when life feels unsteady?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to find their footing right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Freedom Fighter

When we’re sitting in the dark we may dream of a hero swooping in to save us, a superhero, of sorts, who understands us and shows us the way out. Someone who can fix things and make everything better. Someone who will bring light into our darkness and use that light to show us the way. What we don’t understand when we’re in the darkness is that we are that hero, we have the power to save ourselves and we are our own superhero, we need to fight for our freedom and be a freedom fighter!

When I was living in the darkness I thought my life was hopeless. I didn’t see a way out and my head told me everyday that there was only one way out, to end my suffering. Because I wasn’t sharing those thoughts with anyone I believed what my head told me, I thought it was the truth. It wasn’t. I was blessed with another freedom fighter coming into my life who shared his truth with me, and the story of his fight into the light. It seemed like an incredible story, and it remained just that for months as I continued my downward spiral into my deep pit of darkness. On a particularly dark night that story suddenly rang true for me. For the first time I identified with the before part of the story, what it had been like for my friend, I saw myself in that story and that was the tiny bit of hope I needed to pick up my sword and start my journey as a freedom fighter, a fighter who was fighting for my own freedom.

You see, no one else can truly save us if we aren’t willing to save ourselves. Now, I’ve had a lot of help along with the way from some very amazing freedom fighters who have shown me the way, and I still have many in my life, and it’s important to me to light the way for others so that they might find the freedom fighter in themselves.

My sword, when I started, wasn’t nearly as mighty, in fact, many days I questioned whether I could pick it up at all, but I did, I used all my strength, even if I could only get it an inch off the ground, but I did it, and each day that sword got a little easier to carry, and then some days it got heavy again, and still does from time to time, but now I’ve got many years of carrying that sword under my belt, and I know, no matter how heavy it feels, it’s there, and I have the strength to pick it up, and if I still doubt that, I have many other freedom fighters around me to remind me, or, if I need it, to help me lift that sword.

We have the power to save ourselves at any given time. We may not know how, or why, or if we really can, but if we believe, even a little, that tiny bit of light may cause us to reach out for help, and that tiny bit of light may give us hope, and that hope may propel us to take action, any action, that will set us on a trajectory of blinding light. We just need to pick up our sword, even if we have to drag it at first, and find the other freedom fighters in our lives who lend us their strength as we fight the most important battle of our lives, the fight for our own freedom. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you know that you have the power to save yourself from the darkness? You do SLAYER. Even if that power is picking up a phone, or sending a message, or chatting with someone, you have the power to let some light in and possibly some hope. You have that light inside of you. You may have buried it under a lot of darkness, but it’s still there if you dig deep down and find it. I know because if it wasn’t there you wouldn’t be reading this right now. You wouldn’t be open to finding your own freedom fighter within. You wouldn’t be standing next to me in this path, and yet, here you are. You have it in you SLAYER, I don’t doubt you, even if you doubt yourself, know that I believe in you and until you can pick up your sword yourself, know that there are many of us here who will help you hold it high, until one day you can use it to tear down your darkness and let the light in.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in, but that’s the point of the storm.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

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Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You don’t have to fight every battle. You don’t have to respond to every critic.. You don’t have to be offended by what others say. You can simply walk away.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Argument

Are You Going To Get In The Car, Or Watch It Go By?

Everyday we have a choice. Choices. We have the power to choose each day whether we are going to engage with each person we encounter or not. It’s our choice. No one can force us. We always have the power to walk away, or, not get in the car and watch it go by.

Before stepping on this path I didn’t realize I had a choice. I felt compelled to always get in the car, to always engage. I had this fire inside of me and a need to be right, even when I knew I was wrong. In fact, I sometimes engaged with even more passion when I knew I was wrong, to see if I could convince you otherwise. It was part of my sickness. Having to be right. I felt like I had to and it took a lot of work to sit on my hands and to stop that behavior. Like many things on this path it was about breaking patterns, old behaviors that no longer suited me, or ones that never did. My need to be right, to fight, was really a deflection for me feeling less than. I didn’t feel good about myself so to prove to everyone else that I had worth, and to myself, I would engage, fight, argue, just to prove a point. But all it really did was chip away at my own self, it didn’t give me confidence, it didn’t give me worth, it always had me in a state of agitation and self-righteousness. I was never going to find peace there.

When I stepped on this path, I was working very closely with a woman, someone who understood my journey, as she had walked it years before me, and still was, and she would ask me, when I would talk about an argument I had gotten in or a heated debate, “do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” And when I was new to this life I would always say, “both,” or “being right does make me happy.” But it didn’t really. It might for a moment or two, and then I was off looking for the next battle, or car to get into. I remember very distinctly the first time I didn’t. Someone was baiting me to engage with them and I stopped, paused and excused myself. I walked out the door, shut it behind me and paused, I thought to myself, you just broke the pattern, just now, you stopped yourself. Tears welled up in my eyes because in that moment I knew I was going to be OK, that I had it in me to get better, to change and become the woman I had always wanted to be.

When we consciously make the choice to change, and make better choices for ourselves our lives get better. Easier. With less conflict. Drama. We always have the power to walk away, to not engage with those individuals who are looking for conflict, or the old you, you don’t have to play along, you can do what’s best for you and let that car go by, and let go of old ideas that used to shackle you to having to be right, or make sure your opinion is known, sometimes you can say a lot more by not saying anything at all, and in doing so, get your power back as that car speeds away down the road. SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel compelled to always be right? Or to engage with everyone who crosses your path? Do you go looking for conflict? Why do you think you do this? What do you think will happen if you stop? Do you feel the need to always be right? Why do you think that is? How do you feel when you’re right? How do you feel when you’re wrong? Why does it matter to you one way or the other? What if you just didn’t engage? What do you think would happen? Who would you feel? What patterns in your life would you like to change? How can you go about changing them? Write down the behaviors you have that don’t serve you, cause you pain or unrest. The next time one of these comes up, pause, take a breath and let it go, don’t engage, just excuse yourself and walk away, you’ll be surprised SLAYER just how freeing it is, and just how right taking that right action will make you feel.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

This Isn’t Who I Am, But It’s Who I’ve Become In This Moment

I know this feeling all too well. I remember thinking this when things got really dark. When the self-hatred overtook the light that used to burn inside of me. I didn’t like who I was, I didn’t like to look at the person staring back at me in the mirror, and I knew that wasn’t me, but what I’d become. When you’re staring at yourself from that place, the journey back seems impossible, to far to travel, you don’t like where you are, but fear you’ve gone too far the other way to make it back, to return to the you you once where. Or maybe you never knew who you were, or never liked that person either. So the journey then is more about self-discovery, to places you’ve never been, and that alone may paralyze you and keep you right where you are.

But going back to knowing this isn’t who you are. How did you get here? What lead you to this place? And why isn’t this place you? These are questions we need to answer. It’s easy, sometimes, when we make small concessions each day, to slowly lose ourselves, let ourselves slip away to something that may seem easier, or look better, or may be the promise of something new. But when we let who we are slip away, slowly and slowly we lose sight of who we really are, and what we deserve. We start to think we deserve this place, the place we find ourselves in, and we try to convince ourselves we’re OK there, even though we know we’re not. It seems easier to stay than to fight and get out, so we stay, sometimes for many years, sometimes a lifetime. And each time we stay when should go, a little part of us dies there, until one day, maybe we can’t get out, or can’t see the light we used to have inside of us. That is why it’s always important to stay true to who you are, what you desire and what you can take action on. And always take that action when you can. It’s much harder to fight your way back when you’ve gone too far. I was lucky enough to have done that, many years ago, to find that little spark of light inside of me and fight my way back, it took a lot of work, and it took many years, but here I am.

This statement now has a different meaning for me, if I’ve become something else in the moment, and it isn’t who I was, it is now a positive thing. It now means, for me, that I’ve surpassed where I was and have moved on to the next version, the 2.0 version, well, it’s probably more than 2.0 at this point, but you get the idea. That statement can also be used be positive once you’ve started to live as your authentic self and continue to push yourself to grow and expand who you are and the world around you. You know I’m one to always look for the positives in life, and this is an example of just that. I’ve had moments over the past 12 ½ years of being on this journey that have surprised me, I’ve surprised myself in who I am in a moment, because even I didn’t know I was capable of something, or of becoming someone so much bigger than who she was, or even imagined could be in terms of my capacity to love and give back. It’s amazing what you’ll find if you always make sure to stay true to yourself, to stand strong and fight for you.

It’s important to know who we are, otherwise we won’t know when we’ve lost what we’ve had, we may feel off, or different, and that can give us a sign we’re off course, but when we truly know who we are, and know we don’t feel like we are, it’s a sign to get to work and to get back to that place that lets our hearts shine. It’s also, on the flip side, a great marker for when we’ve exceeded who we were to become the beautiful people we are today. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have a strong sense of who you are? Do you like who you are? Is that who you are today? If not, why not? How do you get back to who you are? How did you get lost? What choices did you make to get yourself there? Or have you noticed the opposite, that because of your choices and hard work that you’ve exceeded surpassed who you were to be who you are today? What changes have you noticed? What do you love about who you are today? What else can you do to keep feeding that journey, that path you’re on to becoming an even better brighter version of yourself? Who are you in this moment? Is that person who truly are? Or do you have work to do to reclaim your true self? Find that place again SLAYER and use that as a launching pad to take you to places you have only imagined. SLAY on!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder. Always keep fighting.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Stronger

Never Give Up

I’m spending the weekend with two beautiful souls and have gotten into some lengthy conversations about our stories, our journeys and what has brought us to where we are. Each of us has had a bumpy road, some of the bumps unique to each of us, but many we share in the commonality of having overcome them. As we’ve talked and shared it has brought up emotions, memories, parts of our lives, ourselves, we haven’t thought of for a while, or perhaps buried deep, but as we share from the places we are today, the other side of that turmoil, those challenges, the struggles, it is a reminder to never give up.

I almost did. I thought giving up was the only way to make the pain stop. To end my suffering. I let the darkness wash over me, consume me, and once I had let it take control, that was all I could see. I was a fighter, I was proud of what I had overcome in my life, I thought of myself as a warrior, but at some point my sword just got to heavy, and because I was not sharing my battles with anyone else, it ultimately was a fight I couldn’t fight alone, it was too powerful and the fight too long. I hated the idea of giving up and fought with every last bit of energy I had left before realizing that the one thing I was afraid to do, share my truth, was what was going to save me.

No one can do this alone. We’re not meant to. We each bring strength where others are weak, we each bring knowledge where others may lack it, together we are stronger. We  hold each other up when one of us has fallen, we lift each other up when we don’t have the strength to do it ourselves, and we remind each other to, above all else, never give up, because we are right there fighting with them.

There are so many warriors out there, more than you know, our heads will tell us no one cares, that everyone is to busy, that we don’t matter, but that’s a lie, we are all out here waiting to take action, we just don’t know we’re needed many times unless we are asked to. Sure, we can see when a soldier is down, but we can’t pick them up if they’re not wanting to get up, or don’t tell us that can’t do it on their own. It is up to each and every one of us to ask, to reach out, to take the action necessary to trigger us into action, because we will come, we will come in droves.

Every life is worth fighting for. Every person, every soul is special. Each of us has special gifts we can share and contribute, and if you don’t know what yours are, we’ll tell you. We know. We can see them, and appreciate them, we appreciate you.

Having walked through the darkness, having fought my way out of the pit of despair, I can tell you, it can be done, it wasn’t easy, it took a lot of work, and I didn’t do it alone. When I reached out for help, when I spoke my truth, there was an abundance of help around me, and more support than I could have imagined. The trick is to ask. To walk through the fear of sharing my story, my truth. To not listen to the voices that told me  not to.

Own who are you in this moment, and know that that is not who you have to be, you have the power to change your story, right here, right now. Never give up, always keep fighting, there is something great waiting on the other side of that battle. How do I know? I’m writing this from that side. Please, come and join me. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you suffer in silence? Why do you do that? Why don’t you reach out? Is your answer based in fact or the story you’ve been told or have crafted? Have you chosen the right people to surround yourself with? If not, find those people, look for people who are walking the path you want to be on. Find the people who are willing to help. They are out there. Sometimes it takes more than one try, don’t let that one no keep you in the dark. Keep looking, searching, they’re there, we’re here. Are you afraid of getting better? Do you think you deserve to get better? If not, why not? You do. You deserve to be your best you, to shine bright, to live in the light, don’t listen to people, or you if you’re telling yourself that. Fight. Find the light, even if it’s just a little spec on the ground, go to it, find it, hold on to it, that is enough to start. Share your truth, let the darkness out, and the light in, we’re all here to light the way.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Not every battle can be won. Not every battle is your battle to fight. The only battle that is worth fighting is the battle in your mind that tells you it’s your right to be right, even when the battle has nothing to do with you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Distraction

Just Part Of The Passing Parade

I used to engage with everything that I came my way. I would get into pointless arguments, make sure my opinion was known, explain to someone the ‘right’ way to do something, basically insert myself into each situation that crossed my path. I felt I had to. It was what was right. What I didn’t realize until I got healthier was that the reasons I was doing it was to feed my sickness, whether to make myself superior, to feel anger, to prove that all people were ‘idiots’ so I didn’t feel so bad when I lied to them, manipulated them, or even stole from them. I was never engaging with anyone to be helpful, or to be of service, well, if I was it was to get something in return. But most of the time it was to feed my ego because I felt less-than. Those little altercations where like a hit of a drug, for a moment, right after, I would get a high…and then it would wear off and I’d go looking for the next hit. It wasn’t until I made a commitment to let go of those old behaviors that I realized what those behaviors where doing to me.

Everyday we cross paths with a lot of people. And we cross paths with them for many different reasons. Nothing happens by chance. And there are those out there that seek out trouble, they were like me, and they’re looking for a fight, or a moment to feel better than whomever they encounter. I know now that they are just part of the passing parade. I don’t have to engage with each float, clown, and marching band that comes my way. I can stay on the sidewalk and just watch them go by. Because today I have nothing to prove. Today my mental health is what is my priority, and engaging with the passing parade is not good for my mind. Sure, if someone needs help I will jump in to be of service, and I will initiate a conversation with someone to hopefully brighten their day, but the rest of those hooligans, they can keep marching on by. Don’t get my wrong, sometimes it is tempting, they always make it look so enticing, and, on a bad day, I may even start to dip my toe in those murky waters, but it never feels good, I don’t get that hit or high anymore like I did, if I do, it’s very fast, and the awful feelings are quick to rush in and wash that high away. And, I’m glad they do, I’ve worked very hard to find my serenity, or peace of mind, because where I came from was so far off from that place, so far, I didn’t even know it was possible to find it. But trust me, it is. Just stay off that parade route.

I also use the parade analogy for the thoughts in my head. That negative self-talk, or bullshit committee as I like to call them, love to chime in, especially when I’m in H.A.L.T., hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, boy their voices get loud, but instead of engaging with them, I let them pass, sometimes I’ll even catch myself saying, “thank you for sharing, but you can take that someplace else.” Because the truth is, they are like a passing parade, they will just pass by if you let them, they might try to come back, but as long as you don’t acknowledge them, they keep walking.

As we navigate through each day, we have a choice, we can do what’s best for our own peace of mind, or we can try to win every battle that comes our way that we actually can’t win. Because we lose each time we engage in something we are not meant to be engaging with. Each of those battles chips away at our self-love, and it keeps us in a cycle of being sick. When we are well, loving and honoring ourselves, we don’t feel the need to engage with the passing parade, we notice it, and then let it pass on by, so if that parade passing in front of you is too hard to let go, that’s a sign of some work to be done SLAYER, and time to put on that investigative hat and find out why you feel so compelled to fight a battle you cannot win, a battle that is really with yourself, and not the people in that parade, because the only battle you can win, is the battle that goes on within yourself, and once you know the facts of why you feel you need to go to battle, you’ve found your armor, and that armor will protect you from anything that crosses your path. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel compelled to interact with anyone and everyone that crosses your path? Why? What if you didn’t? What do you think will happen? Do you get caught up in other people’s drama, and fights, at the detriment of your own mental health? Why do you think you do this? When you feel compelled to do this, are these times when you may be in H.A.L.T.? Are you looking to make yourself feel better? Are you looking to make yourself feel bad? What are you looking for? Why do you think you’re looking for it? What if you stopped? What if you didn’t engage with these people? What if you took a deep breath and walked away. Took your power back and did what was right for you. Noticed when these fights were fights that cannot be won, or, the expense was too great to your own person. What if you chose to not get involved unless it directly affected you? What if you chose to look for ways to give back and be of service instead of engaging with those who only want to inflict pain, or put you down? Why don’t you do that SLAYER. Let the passing parade go by and focus on those people who may need your help, need a hand, or just might need a smile. You’ll see how that affects those distractions that pass you by, they become much less distracting, and much more of just some noise in the distance.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you