Author: Carrie Genzel

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Don’t let yourself be trapped by people who doubt you.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

state-of-slay Underestimated

Dark Horse Wins The Race

It’s always great when we have the support of your friends and family when we set out to accomplish a goal. It doesn’t always work out that way, and many times we can get derailed in our efforts because we let those around us influence our confidence or thinking that we may not be capable of reaching our potential or get to where we want to be. I have a great support group, but there have been times in my life where some around me have not understood or fully supported me in my efforts. It has hurt, and there were times when I was younger that I let that doubt creep in and turn into my own self-doubt and I became fearful and unsure if I could actually do what I wanted to do. As I got older the fear of not trying outweighed the fear of failure so I would move forward anyway, but there was always that bit of self-doubt weighing in the back of my mind. That little bit of negativity often prevented me from giving whatever I was working on my complete all, which always effected the results. I did reach many goals back then, but not always to my full potential.

As I made a commitment to learn to love myself, and honor who I am, I learned, and began to believe, that, not only, was a capable of doing whatever I set my mind on, but that I deserved it. That second part was the missing part that had eluded me earlier in my life. As much as I could dig my heals in and push forward anyway, I never truly believed I deserved what I was working to accomplish, and when I did accomplish it, I would look at that accomplishment as luck or a fluke that I had actually gotten to the finish line, taking away that accomplishment from myself. But once I believed that I deserved those things I was working so hard for, that changed everything. It no longer became as important to me that everyone thought I could do something, it is certainly nice to have a cheering section to encourage me, but it’s not a necessity, in fact, when I did meet resistance, armed with self-love and self-worth, I surged ahead anyway, knowing that, at times, someone thinking I couldn’t accomplish something may work to my advantage of completing that goal. When your not expected to win, you can make a lot of headway without anyone noticing how fast you’re moving forward. And in doing so, I have converted a few doubters into believers when I crossed that finish line that they didn’t think I could cross. As I’ve said many times before, we have the power to take something negative and turn it into a positive, or in this case, fuel or positive energy to give us a turbo boost to our goal.

Don’t let someone else’s doubt cast a shadow on the work you are doing to reach your goal, let it give you that extra spark you need to light that fire within and allow you to burn bright as you move forward. Surround yourself with those who do believe, who support you and encourage you to be your best self, and find those who understand your drive to go after what you want. Be that dark horse, when the shadow of doubt is cast upon you, and convert that negative energy to positive to reach your goal, besides the pressure is off the dark horse when everyone is looking elsewhere, so pull forward, believe in yourself and take the win! SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Have their been people in your who have doubted that you are capable of accomplishing what you have set out to do? How does that make you feel? Do you let that keep you from accomplishing or going after your goals? List an example when you let others derail you from your goal? How can you prevent this from happening in the future? What can you do to moving forward to use someone’s doubt into positive energy? Never let anyone talk you out of what you want in life, it is up to you to go after what you want and if someone else isn’t able to support you in that, look to those who do, and if you feel you don’t have support at all, use all of that to fuel your victory for yourself and cross that finish line. You deserve it, and, are already a winner.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning  SLAYER! Jealousy is the cousin of greed. When we focus on what we want and lose sight of what we need.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Consumes You

What You Worship Will Eat You Alive

Whether you consider yourself religious, spiritual or an atheist, many of us still worship something. It may be money, clothes, ourselves, weight, beauty, travel, it can be a person, but whatever it is, whenever we place too much importance, above and beyond our own well-being, mental health and spiritual fitness, will eventually eat us alive, as what we worship will never be enough.

We can chase these material or idealistic ideas into our grave, thinking if only we just had more of it that would solve all our problems, if only we could obtain it all, then we would be enough. Nothing, that we can touch, taste or feel will ever replace peace of mind and self-love. Trust me, I tried for more than half my life. I chased clothes, shoes, handbags, beauty products, career, friends, anything I could that I thought would fill the void I felt inside, and no matter how much I got, it never did, I still felt empty, and I still hated myself. And not only did it not fill that void, it filled with me with jealousy and envy of those I thought had I wanted or needed to finally be fulfilled, and, I thought, happy. That thinking brought me down some pretty dark paths, and sparked some serious selfish motives in my day to day life. My drive, all of my thoughts, went to obtaining those things, and even when I would get what I was wanting, it was never enough, because there was always something bigger and better just out of reach. I was never going to have all of clothes, the shoes, the handbags the money, the projects, the friends, and so on, that I thought I needed to finally feel the way I wanted to feel, and that obsession brought me to a place where, realizing that, I then reached for whatever I could to numb myself so I wouldn’t feel the disappointment of that, and the fear that I was never going to fill that void inside of myself.

I had to learn that life isn’t about all of those things I thought I needed for happiness, it is about learning to love myself, and sharing that love with others. Those moments we get to share with someone else who appreciate our time and who we are, just as we are. It’s about all the stuff we can’t buy. And, it’s stuff we shouldn’t have to chase, or, it wasn’t meant for us in the first place. It turns out the trick to finding happiness was living in gratitude, it was being honest with myself, of finding forgiveness, of learning to laugh when I make mistakes, and letting my light and heart shine. There is nothing that can be bought or taken that can replace any of those things, never mind worshiped. What we should place our attention on is positive thinking, is healing, of giving back, and finding something that we can connect with that may guide us, or help us to feel grounded and at home, that, for me took the place of all the other stuff, and that is what finally filled my heart.

It’s easy to look at what others may have, or the latest and brightest new thing that promises to make our life better and think that is what  is going to make our life better, but we are the only ones who can do that by the choices we make and what we choose to place as being important in our lives. When we put too much energy into obtaining something or someone and give it all of our power we are in trouble. What we seek may eat us alive from the inside out. Start to find happiness from within and see how that radiates in everything you do, you may just realize you’re wealthy in ways you had never seen, and instead of hording the things you think you need, perhaps you will share yourself with those who will love and appreciate you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you worship material things, or, people and places, thinking you need to have them in order to be happy? What do you worship? Why do you think that is the key to your happiness? What is enough to make you happy? Is it ever enough? Or, is there always more, or something newer or better? Do you ever feel satisfied? If not, why not? What can you do today to look within, to find some happiness in yourself or perhaps in a spiritual connection that makes you feel loved? When we place so much importance on outside things we set ourselves for disappointment, and, eventually even self-destruction. Put your focus on the right things, the things that give back to yourself and the things you can share with those in your life, not the things that can be bought, those things that matter most, you, just as you are.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Seeking validation will keep you trapped. You don’t need anyone or anything to prove your worth.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Tear You Down

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Freedom is being you without anyone’s permission.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Authenticity

Are You Addicted To Power, Possessions, People and Praise?

As I sit down to write this Christmas Eve I am thinking about the true spirit of the holiday. For many, religious, but for all a time of giving, of sharing and one of kindness. It’s easy to get caught up in the craziness of buying and receiving gifts, looking for the perfect gift, or, trying to find the one that will impress or one-up someone else. The act of gift giving often gets lost in our own selfish wants or needs and our expectations are raised to a level that no matter what the response, they’ll never be good enough.

For those with a lot, we may use that power to position ourselves to feel better than, to give in a grand way that overshadows others and to make ourselves feel superior, or the best. We may get caught up on that list of things we want, that list we think we have to have, and are expecting to get, and if one of those things are not found wrapped with our name on it, the whole holiday is a bust sending us into self-pity and emptiness. We may also be addicted to people, fearing the quiet of spending some time alone, we jump from event to event, gathering to gathering, in the hope to fill that void and drown out those voices in our heads telling us things we don’t want to hear or face. And, there are those of us too who feed off of the praise of a gift well given or found, turning the gift giving experience away from the recipient and their appreciation or enjoyment of it, and shining the spotlight back on ourselves for the praise coming our way for a job well done. None of these scenarios demonstrate the true meaning of this holiday season, and yet, how many of us fall into one or more of these categories?

I admit, I used to identify with all of these, depending on the year, I tried to use that fuel to try to light the fire within, but the reality of it was, that it never really did, not for long, and soon after I was left with that empty feeling again and searching for the next thing to try to fill it up. I was never able to fill it up until I got rigorously honest with myself and sought help. I was trying to fill a void I could not, not with the tools I had, and not with material things or praise from others, I had learn that I was the most valuable gift I could receive and I had to learn to praise myself, and believe it, for the good I was able to do, for myself, and others. And speaking of others, that was the key. Participating in selfless acts of kindness, especially without others knowing about it. The act of doing something for someone else is the gift, the acknowledgment of it is not what’s important, or shouldn’t be so. We perform an act of kindness because we want to, that’s it, and even if it’s never known it was us, or, if it isn’t acknowledged in a way we would have thought, it doesn’t take away that act, that act is the thank you to yourself, a thank you to who you are and what you stand for, there is no need for any praise past the act, but it is OK if there is, as long as you’re not seeking it.

As we head out this holiday season remember what the purpose of it truly is. Look for ways to spread love and kindness, and perhaps even joy, with those you spend your days and nights with. It is a time to give back, to share a laugh, to give a helping hand, and to give the gift that is most precious, your time. Go out there and be love, be you and be grateful for what you have, so even if you don’t get everything you had hoped for, you will know you have everything you need, and that is the greatest gift of all. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you get caught up in power, possessions, people and praise over the holiday season? How so? How does this harm you? How has this gotten in the way of your enjoyment of the holidays? How has it gotten in the way of your relationships? What can you do to prevent that from happening this year? What do you think your greatest gift is? Why don’t you focus on sharing that this holiday season, and see how that act of sharing yourself makes the difference this year. No matter what your plans are this holiday season, make your goal not to be the best, but to share your best self.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you live to only make others happy, your happiness will suffer.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Own Happiness.jpg

You Don’t Have To Meet Anyone Else’s Expectations

The holidays can bring so much joy—but they can also bring pressure, guilt, and emotional exhaustion. Too often, we show up out of obligation rather than desire. We put on a smile, check the box, and leave feeling drained. But here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone your presence at the expense of your peace.

Early in my healing journey, I had to start asking myself a new question before saying yes to an invitation:

“Do I truly want to be there—or do I just think I should?”

I’m not talking about what society expects. I’m not talking about guilt. I’m talking about truth. Your obligation is to your well-being. Not someone’s idea of what the holidays should look like.

You Don’t Owe Anyone Your Peace

Let’s be real: taking care of yourself will make some people uncomfortable. They’ll say you’re selfish. They’ll say you’re being dramatic. And sometimes, the loudest pushback comes from the people who benefit most from your lack of boundaries.

But their comfort isn’t your job. Your mental, emotional, and spiritual health is.

How many times have we said yes when we meant no, only to spend the event feeling resentful, drained, or on the verge of a breakdown? How many times have we promised ourselves never again—only to do it again next year?

That cycle ends when you decide your peace is more important than someone else’s perception.

Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect

When I stay rooted in the moment and check in with myself—without spiraling into what-ifs or worrying about reactions—I stay honest. If I’m not in a good place to show up, I say so.

Sometimes I offer context. Sometimes I don’t. You’re allowed to protect your peace without explaining yourself to everyone.

Will people always understand? No. Will some talk behind your back? Maybe. But those reactions say more about them than they do about you. You’re not here to meet other people’s expectations—you’re here to protect your energy.

Your Well-Being Isn’t Up for Debate

Especially during the holidays, it’s easy to feel pulled in a dozen directions. But the best gift you can give yourself is permission—permission to check in, to say no, to leave early, to skip the party entirely if that’s what you need.

Maybe that means going for a walk instead of going to dinner. Maybe it’s choosing solitude over small talk. Or maybe it’s showing up—but doing so on your own terms.

Whatever honors your journey, your growth, your peace… do that. You deserve to move through this season in a way that aligns with your truth.

And if someone doesn’t understand? That’s okay. You’re not for everyone. But you are for you.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you feel pressure to say yes out of obligation? Why?
  2. How do you feel during and after events that don’t serve you?
  3. What boundaries could you set this season to protect your peace?
  4. Have you ever said no and felt empowered by that decision? What happened?
  5. What might it look like to put your well-being first—just for today?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Stop and ask yourself: “What do I want?”
  • Let go of guilt-based decisions.
  • Acknowledge when you’re acting out of obligation.
  • You have permission to choose peace.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one expectation you’re ready to release this season—and how will you reclaim your peace instead?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling the pressure to show up for everyone else, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Fill your heart with your own love and positivity, then, share it with someone else.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Green Support You