story

Live In Simple Sentences

We all have stories that dragged on too long. Stories we should have ended that we held onto because we hoped they would somehow turn into what we had imagined, or worked for, or stories that used to be good but haven’t been in a long while that we cling to because of what once was, and then there are those stories that never seemed to reach their full potential, and we stay thinking that there could be a day that they could change. Without a conscious period, or punctuation mark at the end, those stories can go on forever, leaving us feeling unsettled, frustrated and unsatisfied. The more a story drags on the more complicated it becomes, and the more we attach feelings and emotions around the people and circumstances of that story that can make it difficult for us to move on when we should. We too, can hang onto a story too long because we want to be right, we want to prove something or we are determined to make something that is broken work, even when perhaps it never did, but the longer we stay in a story we are not meant to be in, the further we get away from our intended destination.

I have participated in many stories that should have ended long before they did, or perhaps, should have never started. Sometimes out of fear, or adventure, or trying to make things right, when they never could be. I do believe that things happen when they are meant to, but I also believe that we can delay our growth, and those moments, because we don’t take them in the moments we should, and may never get a second chance. Sometimes we do get that second chance, if we’re lucky, and it’s meant to get us back on track and on the journey we are meant to be on. When we live in simple sentences we are living in the now. We are checking in and making sure we are doing what’s best for us today, and working toward our next destination. Living in simple sentences clarifies things, it cuts away all the excess, the things that distract us, or the things we hang onto that complicate an otherwise simple story, it helps us focus on what we want and what we need to do to get it. It keeps us looking forward instead of backwards, and helps us describe our past in simple sentences as well, which keep it in perspective, and keeps the lessons pure and simple.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a story with many run-on sentences, it’s during those times we need to start editing and adding some punctuation. Life can get complicated all on it’s own without us dragging some excess baggage with us on top of it all, keep things simple, and at face value for what they are, not what you think they should be, could be or would be. Stop watching the reruns in your life and end the stories that need to end, it’s when we let go of those old distractions that our future becomes clear, right before our eyes. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you hang on to stories that you should have ended? Name one. Why should you have ended this story? Why haven’t you? What can you do to end that story in your life? Why should you? How has hanging onto this story harmed you? How may it have stopped you from finding what you are looking for? What are you looking for? How can you go about getting it? Do you believe you deserve to get it? If not, why not? SLAYER, we all deserve good things, but we need to make sure we take the road blocks out of our own way so those things can come our way. We need to let go of the past and end those stories that hold us back from becoming what we are meant to be in the future.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you want to fly, let go of everything that weighs you down.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Hope And Freedom (1)

Alone In A Crowded Room

I’ve talked a lot at STATE OF SLAY about feeling different, less than, feeling awkward and anxious in social situations growing up, and into my adulthood, before walking this path. It’s a time of year when there are many social gatherings, parties and family functions and I was reminded how I used to feel alone in a crowded room. I could have been in a sold-out stadium and I still felt alone.

I never felt like I belonged, and because of that I kept my thoughts and feelings to myself, and later, as my disease progressed, I isolated, believing those voices in my head that told me no one would understand me, or want to be around me, if you knew my truth, those voices kept me isolated, alone, even though I had people around me. The more I stayed away from all of you the worse my disease got, when I was alone it had me where it wanted me, at attention, with nothing to distract me, no good could come in when all I was hearing was the bad. And, that feeling of loneliness, when I was with people, added fuel to the fire that I just didn’t fit in.

What I didn’t realize is that I didn’t fit in because I believed I didn’t fit in. And I kept believing that story because I wasn’t sharing it with anyone. I believed that all of you always felt like you fit in, even that you were all at ease in every situation, because that’s what my head told me. What I realized when I stepped on this path, and started to share, is that many of you felt like I did, odd, weird, like a misfit at times, but you either walked through your uncomfortableness, or you just found the other people who felt like you did. Now I know, you’re out there.

Feeling alone in a crowded room isn’t something you feel alone, I’ve been you, and there are more like us. And I’m here to tell you I’m here, I’m in that room with you and you’re not alone. I’m also here to tell you that you can overcome that feeling, because it’s something you have the power to change. Your head may tell you that you can’t, or that you’re not good enough to, or that no one will understand, but I’m going to rain on those voices’ parade and tell you from the other side that you are good enough and you can do it, it just takes some courage and honesty. When we share our fears or feelings with others we typically find that most people feel, or have felt like we do. We learn that we are not alone. And, when we realize that there are others likes us, many others, it may give us the courage to share with them and once we do, that fear starts to lose it’s power over us, it starts to fall to the ground like an old piece of clothing that no longer fits us, and the truth is, it never did fit us, we just put it on as a form of protection because we didn’t yet have the tools or awareness that we aren’t so different from those around us after all.

Sometimes the thing that separates us from our fellows is the one thing that will connect us, we just have to find the strength to let it out, to not let it control us, and continue to lie to us. Speak your truth and not only let it allow you to relate to others, but you may just be giving another lonely person permission to do the same. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel lonely in a crowded room? Why do you feel that way? Have you always felt that way? Write down the first time you remember feeling that way. What made you feel alone back then? Is that reason still valid today or an old story you’ve stuck to? How can you shake that story and live in the present? Who do you feel comfortable with? Why? Are you able to find other people like that? If so, where? Why don’t you find those people? What is your biggest fear in social situations? Is that fear a fact, or an old story from your past? What if you ignored those voices that tell you you’re different, that people won’t understand and like you? How would social situations be different? Do it SLAYER, be honest about how you feel, find someone in the next social situation you find yourself in who looks like they also feel like you do, let them know how you’re feeling, you may just make a connection to someone just like yourself, and, you can walk through your fears together.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

People Aren’t Against You, They’re For Themselves

That may sound pretty harsh, but it’s not as harsh as it sounds. We all have busy lives, lives with many working components, we juggle many things each day and try to find our own sense of balance. And, just as we are doing that, so is everyone else. Each of us is doing the best we can with what we have. And, some days, we are feeling we’re short. If we need help we should ask for it, but that doesn’t mean the person we ask has to drop everything to run to our aid.

I used to pride myself on not asking for help, to fault, because I would get myself into situations, alone, that I wouldn’t have found myself had I just asked someone for a hand. But off I would go, stubborn, thinking I could do it without having to ask anyone to help me. When I started to walk on this path, and started practicing self-care and self-love, I was taught that it was OK to ask for help, I had to take a deep breath there, because that went against everything in me to do, but I set out to try to practice healthier behaviors and when I felt I should, I asked for help. Seeing as this was still new, and not quite having all the tools I have today, I had an expectation when I asked for help. I expected whomever I asked to jump to it and make themselves available right way when I asked, because, they should know it wasn’t easy for me to ask and to help me learn and grow they should show up and do their part. Wrong attitude. The second part of learning that new behavior was accepting what came back, and sometimes that was that they couldn’t help me right away, or, at all. The old me then would pipe up and say that that was why I never asked before, because no one was going to help anyway, but I had to get past that, ask if there was a good time for them to help, or if not, say it was OK and move to someone else, and when I say move on, meant it, and not linger in a resentment. All of that took time, and practicing doing it over and over. It mostly meant realizing that the people in my life where not there to serve or be at my beck and call, they also had lives and were just as busy I was, maybe even more so, and, they weren’t spending their days wondering what I was going to need or how they could help me. All fair.

We sometimes forget that, just like we’re busy, so are others, and even though something is very important to us it likely won’t have the same importance for someone else, just as what is important to them may not be important to us. But, as SLAYERS, we can show up where we can for others, and ask others to do the same when we need them, but also understand if they are not able to at that exact moment, they’re not out to sabotage you, they’re just taking care of their own needs and lives. It’s not an us vs. them situation, what it should be is us all living our lives and helping each other when we are able to, that way we are all growing and sharing when when we can and it’s coming from an organic loving place. When we are able to live that way we have less conflict and disappointment, and we are not only honoring who we are, but respecting those around us as they walk their journey and we walk ours. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have trouble asking for help? What stops you? Have you had bad experiences in the past? Or were you taught, or told, you shouldn’t ask for help? Who told you that? Why did they tell you that? Was that based in fact or a story they told you, or maybe one you told yourself? What has been the result of asking for help in the past? Is there a way you can improve how you’re asking for help, or who you’re asking? List the ways how. Do you expect people to drop everything and help you immediately? Why do you think they should? Do you respect the people in your life and their time? If not, why not? You should SLAYER, each of us has their own lives to live, we are all busy, take into consideration someone else’s time, as you would expect them to take in consideration yours, and when someone isn’t available right away, ask them when they can be, or if they can at all, if they can’t, ask someone else, it’s not that they’re working against you, they’re just working for themselves at that time, and that doesn’t mean they won’t be there for you another time. One no isn’t the end of the world, it just means you are meant to ask someone else who is meant to help you in that time of need. So keep asking, you’ll find the right person.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! We live inside an unfinished story…and you can change yours at at anytime.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Survival Mode

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Just as you are the author of your own story, you are also the illustrator, don’t limit yourself to the pictures you’ve been painting, paint the ones you’ve imagined or dreamed of, and make them a reality.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Color

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Make sure you’re in the right story, one that let’s you be your best you, not the one you want tell yourself, or the one others tell you. Who’s story are you in?

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Story

Slay Slay

Good morning SLAYER! You are the author of your own story, don’t like the story, change the narrative.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Story 2

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Every life has purpose, and every story may help someone change theirs.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Story

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes the only way to protect your heart is to share it with others.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Heart