Good morning SLAYER! You have the power to say, this is not how my story is going to end. Your story isn’t over yet ;
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Self Love
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Suicide doesn’t take the pain away, it passes it to someone else.
If you need someone to talk about Your pain, please reach out to someone. Suicide Prevention Resources
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Large things are made up of many small things. Celebrate the small things.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
Every Little Thing Should Be Celebrated
We often save our celebrations for big events, or accomplishments, but what about those every day victories that get us to those big celebrations? Every day is worth celebrating, heck, most of us have made it through some pretty treacherous waters to get where we are right now, I know I have, and yet, sometimes we forget to celebrate how far we’ve come, how our day-to-day choices, decisions, or our overall mindset has changed for the better. We tend to focus on those big changes or life events instead of those little shifts each day. Many times we dismiss our hard work, or downplay what we have accomplished, never acknowledging ourselves for a job well done. It takes a lot to even recognize we need a change many times, let alone actually making them.
When I made the decision to change my life for the better most of what I had been doing to get by, and the way I had been living my life, had to be changed. That seemed really daunting, and scary. I, in the past, was someone who didn’t like change, and at times, when things were changing around me, beyond my control, I had turned to behaviors that ultimately harmed myself to cope with the feeling that my life was out of control. So, to set forth knowing I was embarking on an unknown path that was going to require me to change almost everything took some courage, but I had to trust I had been led to the path ahead for a reason and I had to trust that those I was walking with were going to help me and walk with me into this foreign land. I was encouraged to celebrate the little things, which, for me, back then, weren’t little, but even just the fact that I woke up, that I put a new routine in place that was in support of good mental health and a spiritual practice, and that I had stopped leaning on old habits that were harming me just to get by. Each day was a celebration because I had made it through, I had come from a place of wanting to die each day, so just waking up and looking forward to the day ahead was always something to celebrate, even if it was a difficult day, it was still better than where I had come from. But focusing on the victories, small or large, helped me to keep going, and it started to build my self-esteem. It also gave me a connection to others who were on a similar path, and I learned to celebrate their victories as well, sometimes even more than my own, because I knew how hard they were working and how tough the road could be. I learned compassion through taking an interest in others, and encouraging them to keep going as I celebrated along with them. Life started to look different, and instead of it being a series of horrible events, or punishment, it became full of celebrations, for me, and those around me.
We often set parameters in our lives for what we think is worthy of celebrating, and often we set those parameters higher for ourselves than those around us. What if we looked for all the ways we can celebrate ourselves today? What if we focused on our wins and not our losses? Why don’t we look at all the ways we deserve to be celebrated today, and share that joy with others as they celebrate themselves, or, perhaps, inspire them to celebrate their own. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you celebrate the smaller moments in your life, acknowledging how far you’ve come or how hard you’ve worked? If yes, how do you do that? If no, why not? Do you set the bar high for what you deem important enough to celebrate? What is worthy of celebration in your life? When was the last time you celebrated you? How can you do that more? What can you celebrate in your life today? How can you do that? Each time we walk through something we struggle with, each time we make a positive change in our life, or a positive thought replaces a negative one, each time we step out of our comfort zone and reach for something new we should celebrate. Maybe there’s a celebration just for reading this today and considering it, it starts with one small step, but that step could change the rest of your life.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You did what you knew how to do at the time, when you know better, you do better.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
We Are All More Than The Worst Thing We’ve Ever Done
When I was living in the dark I was ashamed at the choices I was making and how I was living my life. My disease wanted to keep me sick, and eventually, wanted my life, and it would stop at nothing to keep in a place desperation to stop my pain, a desperation that would cause me to do things I wouldn’t normally do to try to find peace. As a result I was embarrassed by my actions, what I was saying and doing just to get by each day, I knew that’s not who I was, but I just wanted numb myself any way possible so I wouldn’t feel. When I made the commitment to seek treatment I knew I was going to have to face my past behavior and choices, I didn’t know how I was going to do that when I already had so much self-hatred, but I was told I didn’t have to do it alone.
I remember sitting with someone who was walking with me on my journey, it was suggested that I write down the things I was ashamed of, I was told that whatever I held back, whatever secrets I may hide, those things would keep me sick. I remember feeling nervous to share those things with someone I had grown to trust, and, had started to admire. I thought, truthfully, that after I told her everything she would never want to talk to me again, and I actually started the meeting by saying how much I had appreciated her help thus far but would understand if she never wanted to talk to me again after I say what I needed to say. She just smiled at me. The truth is, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of, each and every one of us, there isn’t anyone that at one time or another hasn’t maybe told a lie, cheated, or bent the rules, tried to manipulate a favorable outcome for ourselves, or not have been accountable for their actions. So when I shared my worst, she smiled, and either said, me too, or shared what she had done. I realized in that moment that all of those things I carried around, dragged behind me like a weighted ball and chain, were me just punishing myself, or, giving myself too much self-importance. There was nothing in what I disclosed that was shocking to this person, and nothing that caused her to not want to see or talk to me again, in fact, our relationship got stronger as we now had a commonality of where we had come from, and we connected in our strength of where we wanted to go.
Just because we may have done some bad things, doesn’t make us a bad person, we are more than the worst thing we’ve ever done. What is important is finding what we can take away from that act, find out why we felt that was our best option, and, look for better options moving forward. So much of the release of those bad decisions and actions was about admitting them, of taking ownership of them and then making a commitment to not repeat them, to find better options that honored who I was working to become, and, making amends or apologies if they were warranted. In the 13 plus years of this journey so far, I have seen many seemingly unforgivable things forgiven. Only we can hold ourselves back by believing we are the worst we’ve done, we’re not, as they say, the truth with set us free, and set us on a path of recovery and self-love. SLAY ON!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think of yourself as a bad person because of bad things you feel you’ve done? Does that get in the way of your relationships, career, and general way of life? How? Why do you think what you’ve done is unforgivable? What were the circumstances around what you did? Are you still that same person? Or, have you moved on, still harboring bad feelings around that incident? Have you ever told anyone about what you’ve done? If yes, what was the result? And if yes, why do you still carry the guilt of what was done? If you haven’t told anyone, why not? What holds you back? Only you can release yourself from the shackles of your past and the ideas that what you have done holds you back, let go of the past, find a release from those things that tie you to who you were, and focus on who you are and who are working to be. You are not your past, unless you choose to live there.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYERS! Your body hears everything your mind thinks.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYERS! There’s no weight limit on beauty.
SLAY on!
Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body
It was in my teens that I first remember turning against my body.
I had been a thin, athletic kid, comfortable in my skin — and then things started to change. My body began doing things I didn’t understand and didn’t want. It started drawing attention I didn’t ask for. And instead of curiosity, I felt betrayal.
I felt like my body had turned on me.
I already carried discomfort inside myself — parts of who I was that I kept hidden — and when my body began changing, it only amplified that discomfort. I started comparing myself to everyone around me. Measuring myself against them. Finding myself lacking in every direction.
Nothing ever felt good enough.
And that’s when the spiral began — not in my body, but in my mind.
My mind started bullying my body.
When Control Becomes the Goal
Looking back now, I can see it clearly.
What I was really afraid of wasn’t my body — it was not being in control.
There were so many things in my life I felt powerless over, and my changing body felt like the final betrayal. So I did what I thought would give me control back.
I tried to stop it.
Manipulate it.
Shrink it.
Silence it.
That path led to an eating disorder — one I was lucky to recover from.
It took years to heal. Years to rebuild trust with food. Years to rebuild trust with my body. And even now, there are still days I have to stay conscious and accountable with my thinking.
What makes me sad looking back isn’t my body — it’s the hatred I had for myself.
There was never anything wrong with my body.
The Voice Was the Real Problem
I see now that the damage wasn’t physical — it was mental.
The voice in my head was cruel.
Relentless.
Unforgiving.
The more I hated myself, the louder it got.
I wanted to disappear into the crowd.
Blend in.
Not be noticed.
Not be questioned.
So I tried to control myself into invisibility.
That voice told me I was the problem.
That my body was the problem.
That I had to fix it to be acceptable.
But the truth is: my body was never the enemy.
My mind was.
Learning a New Relationship
Today, I appreciate my body.
Not because it looks a certain way —
but because of what it does for me.
It carries me.
It heals.
It protects.
It supports my life.
And while I still have days where old thoughts creep in — because healing isn’t linear — I no longer live in war with myself.
I no longer punish my body for existing.
I no longer try to control it out of fear.
I no longer define my worth by how it looks.
Health Without Hate
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel healthy.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel strong.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to care for your body.
But when self care is driven by self hatred, it becomes harm.
We are not meant to all look the same.
We are not meant to fit one mold.
We are not meant to match one standard.
Different shapes.
Different sizes.
Different structures.
Different beauty.
Every body is valid.
Changing the Relationship, Not the Reflection
Healing doesn’t start in the mirror.
It starts in the mind.
In how we speak to ourselves.
In how we interpret our reflection.
In how we define worth.
In how we measure value.
Your body doesn’t need to be fixed.
It needs to be respected.
Your Body Is Not the Problem
Your body is not your failure.
Your body is not your enemy.
Your body is not your shame.
It’s your home.
And it deserves compassion — not cruelty.
Care — not control.
Respect — not punishment.
Safety — not shame.
SLAY Reflection
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: What negative thoughts do you carry about your body?
L: Where did those beliefs come from?
A: What would change if you spoke to your body with compassion instead of criticism?
Y: How can you start practicing care instead of control today?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What is one way you can start treating your body with more kindness today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who struggles with body shame, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes you face difficulties not because you’re doing something wrong, but because you are doing something right.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
