self love journey

Name Them, Claim Them, Dump Them

For a long time, I treated my feelings like enemies. I did everything I could to ignore, numb, or bury them—hoping they’d disappear on their own. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.

Sure, I could silence them for a while. Sometimes for years. But those unspoken feelings came at a high cost. Eventually, they nearly cost me my life.

When We Bury Our Feelings, We Bury Ourselves

The longer I ignored my emotions, the louder they got. The more I tried to push them down, the more they pushed back. And when I finally stripped away the things I used to keep them at bay—addiction, distraction, denial—they all came rushing in.

It felt like I was drowning.

But that tidal wave of emotion was the beginning of something new. Something honest. Something healing. I had to learn to acknowledge my feelings—to name them, accept them, and then choose what to do with them.

Name It. Claim It. Dump It.

That became my process. Name it: What exactly am I feeling? Claim it: This is mine. I don’t have to like it, but I have to own it. Dump it: Let go of what no longer serves me.

Some emotions had roots in deep pain, old stories, or unhealthy patterns. Others were tied to my illness—trying to pull me back into the darkness I fought so hard to escape. But once I named them, I could choose whether they stayed.

Not every feeling deserves a seat at your table.

Feelings Don’t Want to Be Ignored

Even now, years into recovery, those old feelings still show up. Sometimes in disguise. Sometimes dressed in new circumstances. But I know better now.

If I ignore them, they grow. If I pretend they aren’t there, they get louder. But if I meet them with truth, honesty, and intention—they lose their power.

Feelings won’t kill you. But hiding from them just might.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to fear my feelings. I just have to deal with them before they deal with me. And when I stay honest, stay kind, and stay vigilant? That’s when I stay free.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you try to hide or stuff down your feelings?
  2. What feelings scare you the most—and why?
  3. What have your feelings been trying to tell you lately?
  4. Are you willing to name and claim your emotions?
  5. What outdated feelings are you ready to dump for good?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Slow down and tune in to what you’re feeling.
  • Label it honestly—no shame.
  • Acknowledge what’s useful and what’s not.
  • You get to choose what stays and what goes.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What feeling are you finally ready to let go of?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been holding back their feelings, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Giving Love To Get Love

We often hear that love is meant to be unconditional—yet many of us struggle to live that truth. Giving love can feel risky. What if it’s not returned? What if it’s overlooked? But here’s the hard truth: when we give love with the expectation of getting it back, we cancel out the purity of the love we are offering.

Love that comes with strings attached isn’t love at all—it’s manipulation in disguise.

The Motives Behind Our Love

If you’ve ever caught yourself giving love to gain approval, recognition, or affection, you’re not alone. Many of us fall into people-pleasing or approval-seeking patterns without realizing it. But true love is not a transaction.

When you give love only to get it back, you’re no longer operating from the heart. You’re playing a game of give-and-take that diminishes both your sense of worth and the authenticity of the connection. Love is love, period. Anything else is a tactic—not truth.

Learning to Check Your Heart

I’ve been there. I’ve given love with the secret hope of getting something in return: validation, security, even power. It took honesty and accountability for me to see that this wasn’t really love—it was ego.

Early in my recovery, I was told something that stopped me in my tracks: “Don’t give love if you expect anything in return.” At first, that sounded impossible. How could I give without hoping for even a little acknowledgment? But the more I practiced it, the more I understood: love without expectation is the only love that strengthens both the giver and the receiver.

And here’s the surprising part—when love did come back to me, it felt even more powerful. Because I knew it wasn’t coerced or earned—it was freely given, just as mine was.

The Freedom of Pure Love

We all have motives. That doesn’t automatically make our love wrong. But when love becomes a tool for control—when it’s about getting rather than giving—it loses its meaning. It won’t fill the void we’re trying to fix.

The truth is, love doesn’t need to be returned to be valuable. Every time you give love without expectation, you affirm your own worth. You remind yourself that your heart is strong enough to love without conditions. And when love does return, it’s not a reward—it’s a gift.

SLAY Reflection

  • Do you give love without expecting it in return—or do you secretly hope for something back?

  • When you’ve given love with motives, how did it feel different from giving freely?

  • What happens to your sense of self when you love without conditions?

  • Can you recall a time you received love that was given without expectation? How did it impact you?

  • How can you begin practicing unconditional love today, even in small ways?

S – Stop and check your intentions before giving love.
L – Let go of the scorecard. Love isn’t a tally sheet.
A – Accept that love is enough on its own.
Y – Yield to the freedom that comes from giving without strings.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever caught yourself giving love to get something back? What shifted when you began to love without expectation?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

Be The Attitude You Want To Be Around

We’ve all felt it—that lift you get from someone’s positive energy. The kind of vibe that makes a room feel warmer, lighter, better. We seek it out, gravitate toward it, and sometimes, we depend on it. But here’s a truth that changed everything for me:

Instead of waiting to be around the energy you want, be it.

Don’t get me wrong—we need good people in our lives. Community, support, and encouragement are vital. But real change happens when you stop outsourcing your attitude—and start showing up as the person you wish you could find.

I Wasn’t Always That Person

When I was deep in my darkness, I avoided positive people. They annoyed me. I didn’t trust their joy. I assumed it was fake. And, if I’m being honest, I didn’t want them to see the way I was living.

But beneath all that judgment was jealousy.

I admired them. I just didn’t believe I could ever be like them.

Recovery taught me otherwise.

It showed me that joy can be genuine. That light isn’t fake—it’s earned. And I could earn it, too.

So I made a promise to myself: I would become the person I wanted to be around.

Not overnight. But one day at a time.

Give What You Wish to Get

In the beginning, I didn’t feel like I had much to offer. I was still shaky, still figuring it out. But someone reminded me:

Even if you’re just a few steps in, you’ve got something to share.

Because someone else is just starting out. And to them, you might look like a mile ahead.

So I showed up. I told the truth. I dropped the act and chose transparency. And little by little, I built trust in myself by being accountable, being honest, and shifting from asking, “What can I get?” to “What can I give?”

And I found that even on my worst days, if I could help someone else, it helped me too.

Sometimes, two bad days colliding can spark one good one.

Attitude Is Energy

Gratitude was a big part of this shift. When I started focusing on what I had instead of what I lacked, everything changed.

Even the hard things didn’t feel impossible anymore—because I wasn’t tackling them alone. I learned to ask for help. That was huge for me.

Asking for help didn’t make me weak. It made me real.

And in asking, I often gave someone else the gift of showing up. We got closer. We built something.

Because we all need help sometimes.

Become the Energy You Admire

Think about the attitudes you’re drawn to. What do you admire in others? What kind of energy lifts you up?

Now ask yourself:

What if that’s already inside of me?

What if the very thing you’re craving is something you’re meant to cultivate and share?

Start there. Be that. You might just find your truest self waiting on the other side.

SLAY Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • What attitude or energy am I most drawn to?
  • Do I embody that energy—or just chase it in others?
  • What’s stopping me from becoming that kind of person?
  • How can I use gratitude and service to shift my own energy?
  • What’s one small step I can take today to be the vibe I want to be around?

S – L – A – Y

S: See the energy you admire in others.
L: Listen to how your own attitude shows up.
A: Act in alignment with the energy you want to attract.
Y: Yield to your inner strength—it’s always been there.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s the attitude you want to be around—and how are you choosing to embody it in your own life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s working on becoming their best self, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

If You Feel Like You’re Sliding, Ground Yourself In Gratitude

Because even the smallest anchor can save you from the storm

There are seasons in life when the ground beneath your feet doesn’t feel steady. You’re doing everything “right” — showing up, trying hard, taking care of what needs you — and yet somehow you still feel yourself slipping. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Energetically.

It starts quietly.

A missed step here.
A spiraling thought there.
A wave of heaviness that settles on your chest and won’t explain itself.

Before you know it, you’re sliding — away from your center, away from your peace, away from the version of you who feels grounded and clear.

I know that feeling well.
We all do.

And when life gets like this, it’s easy to panic.
It’s easy to think: What’s wrong with me? Why am I regressing? Why can’t I hold it together?

But here’s the truth most of us forget:

A slide isn’t a failure.
It’s a signal.
And gratitude is your handhold back to solid ground.

The Quiet Descent We Don’t Notice Until We’re Already Falling

Life rarely knocks us off balance with one big moment. Instead, it’s the slow accumulation of little things:

  • A slight disappointment

  • A broken routine

  • A lingering insecurity

  • A change in circumstance

  • A comment that hits us the wrong way

  • A feeling we don’t want to admit we’re feeling

The slide is subtle.

It begins when we stop listening to ourselves.
When we stop resting.
When we stop checking in on our heart.
When we slip into autopilot because being present feels too heavy.

Suddenly, we’re overwhelmed. Or discouraged. Or disconnected from the person we know we truly are.

The human instinct is to claw our way back through force — push harder, work more, suppress the feeling, pretend it’s not happening.

But the way back isn’t through force.

It’s through grounding.
It’s through presence.
It’s through gratitude.

Gratitude Doesn’t Erase the Hard — It Stabilizes You Inside It

Gratitude gets misunderstood as a way to bypass pain.
But real gratitude doesn’t ignore how you feel.

It simply gives you something to hold onto while you feel it.

Gratitude says:

  • “Yes, this is hard… and here is something still supporting you.”

  • “Yes, you’re tired… and here is something still holding you steady.”

  • “Yes, you’re overwhelmed… and here is something still working in your favor.”

It returns your mind to what is real — not imagined fear, not spiraling emotion, not worst-case scenarios.

Gratitude pulls you out of the fall and reorients you toward truth.

It doesn’t invalidate your struggle.
It anchors you through it.

A Small Gratitude Can Shift a Heavy Heart

When you feel yourself sliding, you don’t need a miracle.
You don’t need a life overhaul.
You don’t need everything to be perfect.

You just need one grounding thought — one spark of gratitude — to interrupt the descent.

It can be as simple as:

  • “I’m grateful for the breath that steadies me.”

  • “I’m grateful for one person who loves me.”

  • “I’m grateful for the strength I don’t always give myself credit for.”

  • “I’m grateful for the lessons that shaped me.”

  • “I’m grateful for this moment of awareness — it means I can choose again.”

Gratitude is not about pretending everything is wonderful.
It’s about remembering that not everything is falling apart.

It’s the shift that gives you back your footing.

Gratitude Helps You Regain Perspective — and Power

When we slide emotionally, our mind tries to convince us that everything is collapsing. Gratitude counters that narrative with something more grounded and true.

It:

  • Softens the panic

  • Brings the nervous system down

  • Helps you see the full picture instead of the distorted one

  • Reconnects you to what’s working, not just what feels wrong

  • Reminds you of your resilience

  • Guides you back to your inner stability

Gratitude says:
“You’ve survived every version of life you thought would break you. You can survive this, too.”

And when you remember that, the slide slows.
When you feel that, the ground steadies.
When you breathe into it, you begin to rise again.

You’re Not Failing — You’re Feeling

There is nothing wrong with you for having moments where your footing slips.
There is nothing wrong with you for needing support.
There is nothing wrong with you for losing your center and finding it again.

Strong people slide.
Resilient people slide.
Healing people slide.

But grounded people know how to climb back.

Gratitude is your rope.
Your anchor.
Your reminder that, even in the wobble, you are held.

SLAY Reflection

S — Sit With Your Truth

Where have you been feeling emotionally unsteady or overwhelmed lately?

L — Look at the Pattern

What small shifts or stressors may have contributed to your sense of “sliding”?

A — Align With Your Values

What gratitude practice — even a simple one — can help you feel grounded in this moment?

Y — Yield to Growth

What becomes possible when you anchor yourself in gratitude instead of fear?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What gratitude has helped ground you when life feels unsteady?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to find their footing right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

What Are You Craving? What Are You Trying To Hide?

We’ve all reached for something—food, alcohol, social media, shopping, chaos—just to feel something else. Or to feel nothing at all. But what if that craving isn’t about the thing you’re reaching for… but the feeling you’re avoiding?

Back then, I didn’t know that’s what I was doing. I told myself I was “treating” myself after a hard day. I said I deserved it. But the truth is, I was hiding. I didn’t want to feel what I was actually feeling. I just wanted to be numb.

And sometimes? I even punished myself—intentionally making myself sick or miserable—because I believed I deserved to feel bad. I couldn’t have told you that then, of course. I was too busy drowning it all out. But beneath the noise was pain. Shame. Grief. Fear. All buried under years of distractions I labeled as self-care.

The Cost of Avoiding Our Feelings

It makes me sad when I look back on those years. Because today, I feel everything—and I’m no longer afraid of it. Feelings aren’t enemies; they’re messengers. When I numb out, it’s a sign I need to slow down and listen. Because if I’m hiding from my feelings, I’ve lost touch with my authenticity.

We all use outside things to shift our mood. That’s human. But when it becomes a lifestyle—when we rely on numbing to avoid discomfort—it becomes a problem. And eventually, it all catches up to us.

I know. I hit the wall. Hard. And I’m lucky to have survived the crash.

Facing the Tsunami

The scariest part of healing was removing all those distractions. I took away every single thing I used to hide behind—and the feelings came rushing in. It felt like standing on a beach watching a tsunami race toward me, with no life jacket, no boat, no plan.

But I survived.

I didn’t survive it alone. I had support—others who were just learning how to feel again too. We held each other up. We practiced sitting with emotions that terrified us. We learned that feelings won’t kill you—but avoiding them might.

Learning to Listen

Now, even the hard emotions teach me something. They tell me when I need rest. When I need to set a boundary. When I owe someone an apology. When I have more work to do.

But they also show me joy. Love. Gratitude. They remind me I deserve to feel good—and that I must be open to feelings in order to receive them.

Feelings don’t control me today. I listen. I feel. I ask myself what they’re trying to tell me. And then I take action that honors who I am now—not who I used to be.

That’s what healing looks like. That’s what owning your power looks like. And that is a feeling worth sitting with.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What feelings do you avoid or try to numb?
  2. What do you reach for when you’re uncomfortable—and what are you really seeking?
  3. How has avoiding your emotions impacted your life in the past?
  4. What might happen if you allowed yourself to fully feel today?
  5. Are you ready to listen to what your feelings are trying to tell you?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Slow down and check in with your emotions.
  • Listen to what they’re telling you.
  • Acknowledge the urge to numb—and choose a different path.
  • You are allowed to feel everything.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one feeling you’ve been avoiding lately—and what do you think it’s trying to tell you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel their feelings, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

If You’re Strong Enough To Destroy Something, You’re Strong Enough To Repair It

There was a time when I believed strength meant walking away.
Ending things.
Burning it all down before anyone could get too close.

And I had a lot of strength.

But I didn’t always use it for good.

Especially toward the end of certain chapters in my life, I used my strength to destroy:
Relationships. Opportunities. Myself.

Sometimes intentionally.
Other times, impulsively.
But almost always out of fear.

Fear of being exposed.
Fear of being seen as damaged.
Fear of being me.

So I built walls. I pushed people out. I burned bridges and convinced myself I didn’t have the strength to fix any of it.

But that wasn’t true.

What I didn’t have was the humility to try.

I had the strength all along. I just didn’t yet understand what real strength looked like.

Because real strength doesn’t lie in the destruction.
It lives in the repair.

It’s easy to tear something down.
It’s much harder to own your part and build something better in its place.

But that’s where we grow.
That’s where healing happens.

When I began to get better, I slowly learned how to channel that strength in a new direction.
One that looked more like forgiveness.
Like compassion.
Like showing up for myself and the people I loved.

I stopped using my strength to protect the wound and started using it to heal.

Here’s what else I learned:

That voice in your head—the one that says you’re “stronger alone” or that you’re “cutting off what doesn’t serve you”—sometimes it’s not wisdom.

Sometimes it’s fear talking.
Sometimes it’s pain pretending to be power.

There’s a difference between walking away to honor yourself and walking away to avoid yourself.

I’ve done both.

I’ve ended relationships and convinced myself I was doing the strong thing… when really, I was just afraid to look at the part I played in their breakdown.

It’s easier to point the finger.
It’s harder to say, “I chose this dynamic.”
“I allowed this behavior.”
“I contributed to the pain.”

But that’s the work.

That’s the kind of strength that transforms everything.

And here’s the beautiful part:

The more we practice using our strength to build, the more of it we gain.
Just like self-esteem comes from estimable acts, our inner strength multiplies when we use it for repair, growth, and truth.

We become stronger when we’re brave enough to face ourselves.

To say the hard thing.
To make the amends.
To walk toward the mess instead of away from it.

Because if you’re strong enough to destroy something…

You’re strong enough to repair it.

SLAY Reflection

S – SHOW UP: Are you using your strength to avoid, escape, or destroy? Or to face, heal, and rebuild?

L – LEARN: What’s one moment where your strength showed up in a way that surprised you?

A – ACCEPT: Can you accept that real strength might look like softness, honesty, or vulnerability?

Y – YOU MATTER: What’s something broken that you still have the power to repair?

BONUS: What could change if you used your strength for good—starting today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever used your strength to heal something you once damaged?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling with what it means to be strong, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Why Fit In When You Were Meant To Stand Out

When I was younger, all I wanted was to blend in. To disappear into the background, unnoticed, safe from prying eyes. The thought of standing out filled me with anxiety. What if people saw what I saw? What if they really saw me? I spent years hiding behind a mask, trying to fit into roles that made me feel acceptable. Even as an actor, I found comfort in playing characters—if someone disliked them, at least it wasn’t the real me.

But the real transformation happened when I stripped away those layers and stood there with nothing to hide behind. Vulnerable. Exposed. For a long time, I felt like there was nothing there but a gaping void.

The work of discovering and embracing my true self wasn’t easy. It took courage to not just like the real me, but to love and celebrate her. And it all began with saying yes—to experiences, to challenges, and to moments that stretched me outside of my comfort zone.

Embracing the Weird and Wonderful

As I started saying yes more often, my quirks surfaced. The playful, silly side I’d suppressed began to shine. I realized that being called “weird” was actually a compliment. Weird meant I was no longer trying to mold myself into what others expected. I was me—unapologetically.

Now, I seek out the other “weirdos” on my path. They inspire me, because they’re living authentically, just like I strive to do. Their light is a reminder that authenticity is beautiful and magnetic.

Think about it: why settle for being a copy of someone else? When we dim our true selves to fit in, we lose trust—not just in others, but in ourselves. Trust grows when we embrace our truth, when we stand confidently in who we are.

The Power of Authenticity

When we live authentically, we will stand out. Our light shines brighter. It attracts others who are also ready to step into their truth. It gives them permission to do the same.

Authenticity creates connection. It breaks down barriers. And it gives us a sense of belonging—not because we’re fitting into someone else’s mold, but because we’ve finally found our people.

You have something special to offer the world. Don’t hide it. Step out of the shadows. Let us see you—the real you. Because when you do, you’ll inspire others to do the same. And that’s how we all rise together.

SLAY Reflection

Here’s your chance to reflect and take action, SLAYER:

  • S: What masks are you wearing to fit in?

  • L: How would it feel to let those masks go and embrace your true self?

  • A: What’s one small step you can take today to let your light shine?

  • Y: Who inspires you with their authenticity, and how can you draw from their courage?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re hiding that you’re ready to embrace?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to show up as their true self, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Secrets Are Not A Replacement For Boundaries

We’ve all done it—told those “little white lies” to make things easier. Maybe to get out of a bind, avoid a confrontation, or dodge a situation we never felt comfortable with in the first place. We tell ourselves it’s harmless because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But if we’re honest? Most of the time, we’re just trying to avoid the discomfort of setting a boundary and speaking our truth.

Boundaries aren’t about being difficult.
They’re about being clear—about our needs, our limits, and how we expect to be treated. They build self-respect and create space for healthier relationships. The truth is, once we get comfortable setting them, life tends to feel less chaotic and more aligned. Boundaries reduce stress because they make our expectations known—no guessing, no games.

But learning how to set boundaries—especially when we’ve spent most of our lives people-pleasing—takes intention, patience, and practice. Here’s how you start:

1. Know Where You Stand

You can’t set a boundary if you’re unsure of how you feel. Check in with yourself. What makes you uncomfortable? What feels unsafe or triggering? Clarity is power.

2. Tap Into How You Feel

Resentment, anxiety, dread—these are often signs that a boundary needs to be set. What emotion is coming up, and why? Naming the feeling helps you respond with intention instead of reaction.

3. Be Clear

Once you know your truth, communicate it plainly. No over-explaining. No apologies. A boundary isn’t a debate—it’s a statement of self-respect.

4. Give Yourself Permission

Setting boundaries doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you self-aware. You are not “too much.” You are worthy of peace and respect.

5. Check In Often

Your needs evolve, and so will your boundaries. Stay aware. Reflect regularly on how situations or people make you feel, and adjust accordingly.

6. Look at Your Patterns

Do you default to caretaking? Do you shut down? Are you conflict avoidant? Recognizing these patterns gives you the power to shift them.

7. Prioritize Self-Care

Boundaries are a form of self-care. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of you is not a luxury—it’s a necessity.

8. Find Your People

Surround yourself with those who support your growth. Healthy people respect healthy boundaries. And don’t be afraid to reach out for help—it benefits both the giver and receiver.

9. Take Action

Thinking about setting a boundary is not the same as setting it. You have to follow through. Speak up. Be consistent. And don’t shrink when you feel resistance.

10. Start Small, Build Confidence

You don’t have to tackle the toughest boundary first. Practice with low-stakes situations. Build your voice. Build your confidence. Then level up.

Here’s the truth:
Keeping secrets or telling lies to avoid discomfort isn’t kindness—it’s avoidance. And the more you avoid, the more disconnected you become from your truth.

Boundaries are not about controlling others—they’re about honoring yourself.

The more you practice, the more you’ll feel grounded, clear, and connected. That’s the foundation of a life that SLAYS.

SLAY Reflection

Do you struggle to set boundaries? Why?
Have you ever used a “white lie” instead of speaking your truth? What did it cost you?
Do you believe you’re worthy of setting the terms for how you’re treated?
What patterns from your past still influence how you show up today?
What would it look like to protect your peace, unapologetically?

S – Stop hiding behind excuses or silence.
L – Listen to your gut—it’s telling you what you need.
A – Assert your truth with compassion and clarity.
Y – Yield only to what honors your worth.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Do you struggle with setting boundaries—and if so, why?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s learning to speak up for themselves, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Let Your Freak Flag Fly

For most of my life, I placed a lot of importance on what others thought of me. I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time, but I did. I navigated through life hiding who I really was. I may have felt like a freak, but I thought that was a bad thing, and I wasn’t going to let you see it.

Many of us present different versions of ourselves to the world. Sometimes, we need to wear different hats, especially in professional settings. For me, there’s a professional hat—the one I wear at work functions, on set, or in meetings. But there’s also the Let Your Freak Flag Fly gal—the woman I now allow myself to be, the true me.

Don’t get me wrong. My “freak flag” self is still there at work, but she’s a little more subdued until I know my audience. In my personal life, though, I am living as my authentic self. I’ve touched on this in earlier blogs, but today I want to dive deeper into what that really means.

Who Am I, Really?

When I started my journey over 11 years ago, I had no idea who my “authentic self” was. Truthfully, she kind of scared me. I had spent years crafting a persona, and I was afraid of what I might discover underneath. I had never asked myself, Who am I? What do I like? What do I want?

I was too afraid to ask. I didn’t think I deserved the answers. I was too busy pretending or numbing myself to even consider them. The more I hid behind a façade, the more lost I became. It felt like I was trapped in a black hole, and I had to fight my way out.

Say YES to New Experiences

I encourage you to ask yourself those same questions:
Who am I? What do I like? What do I want?

Don’t second-guess the answers. There’s an authentic you dying to get out, and it may take time to find that version of you. That’s OK. Life isn’t a game show—there’s no buzzer to tell you time’s up. You’re on your own timeline.

For me, the answers didn’t come right away. I was encouraged to say yes to new things, to explore and discover myself through experience. So I did. If someone invited me to do something I’d never done, I said yes—no matter how scary it seemed. What I discovered was that saying yes, even when it terrified me, became exciting. Each new experience helped me learn more about myself and gave me the courage to keep exploring.

If I hadn’t said yes for all those years, I wouldn’t have started this blog. The thought of opening up my innermost thoughts to all of you was terrifying 12 years ago, but here I am—and I’m better for it.

Celebrate Your Uniqueness

When I teach (another thing I just said yes to!), I always tell my students to “let their freak flags fly.” That’s what makes each of us unique. It’s what sets you apart. And more importantly, it’s what makes you authentically you.

Discovering and celebrating your authentic self is the foundation for honoring, respecting, and loving yourself. It’s worth celebrating. We’re all different—a big YAY to that. How boring would the world be if we were all the same? Celebrate the things that set you apart. Celebrate you.

Trust me—whatever “freaky” thing you think you have or are, there are a whole bunch of people who will love you for it. I already do, you freak! Now, go out there and discover what makes your freak flag fly.

SLAY OF THE DAY:

  • Does the thought of trying new things scare you? Why?

  • What was the last new thing you tried? What did you take away from it?

  • What makes you unique? Do you celebrate those things?

  • Challenge yourself to say yes to new experiences. Discover the magic of your authenticity.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re going to say yes to this week to honor your authentic self?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to embrace their authentic self, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.