When I was growing up I just wanted to blend in. Standing out meant there were going to be too many eyes on me, and God forbid, possibly questions. I hated myself and the last thing I wanted was someone looking in my direction because they might see what I saw. It took me a long time to celebrate me. It took me a long time to even like me. So the idea of standing out made me break out in a cold sweat. My anxiety would hit the roof just thinking about it. Now, I know that might sound strange given my occupation, but I was able to hide behind the characters I played, if you didn’t like them, that was OK, they weren’t really me anyway. The real work came when I stripped everything away in my life that I used to hide behind and was left with just me. I felt vulnerable, naked, and like there was nothing in me except a big void.
It took a lot of work to discover who I was, who I truly was, and then it took some more work to not only like the real me, but love the real me and celebrate that. I’ve talked a lot about saying yes to things. About trusting what comes your way and to challenge yourself to try new things. That helped me a lot in my discovery of who I really am. Always, just say yes. And as I said yes, my quirkiness came out, the silly side of me I used to suppress, that side of me that likes to have fun, that can make fun of myself, and not take things so seriously, that came out. I realized that being called weird was a good thing. I was weird and that was OK, more than OK, it was fabulous, because that meant I was being my true self, and not trying to fit a mold I thought was acceptable, or, what people around me wanted to see. Weird equals good in my book. And I now look for other weirdos on my path, they excite me, they intrigue me, they make me smile, because I know they, like me, are being their authentic selves, and, that’s beautiful to see.
I mean when you really think about it, who wants to be a copy of someone else, or a group of people, never letting your true self shine? I don’t know that I wanted that when I was younger, but I was too afraid to let people see me. Being who you wanted me to be seem safer, but the more I pretended, the more I was loosing myself in a sea of lies. This goes back to trust as well. How can we trust others when we are not being truthful about who we really are? It’s difficult. The trust comes in when we learn that we are enough, just as we are, and we can trust that. When we can start trusting ourselves and our own decisions we can learn to trust other people. We also can sense when other people aren’t being their true selves, we see it in them when they are not being honest because we are, and maybe we used to be them, hiding in the shadows of others.
When we live our lives authentically as ourselves, we will always stand out, because we will shine bright, there is nothing more beautiful than seeing someone authentically be themselves, without worry about what others may think of them. In my experience, when we do let our light shine, we attract others who are just like us, and, give them even more permission to do the same. We all have something special to give and to share, let that out for all to see, step out of what’s expected and do what’s right for you, allow yourself to stand out and let us all see how truly amazing you are. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you live as your authentic self, or do you hide who you are to fit in or to do what’s expected? Why do you do this? Does this make you happy? How does it hurt you? What is one thing you hide? How do you think it would feel to let it out? What’s stopping you SLAYER? If it’s fear, it’s not real, it may have had some roots in your past, but that is not your present, step out of the shadows of your past, or those around you, and be your best you! Let people see you for who you really are, I assure you, those like you will see you, they will find you and, support you.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you