carrie genzel

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Why complicate something so simple.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Don't Say It

Honesty Takes Practice

If I’m being honest, I wasn’t always honest in the past. In fact, I wasn’t even honest about how dishonest I was! I had become so accustomed to bending the truth, and justifying it, that my perception of the truth had become so warped I didn’t even know I was doing it a lot of the time. But, there were those time that I did know, and I would lie to manipulate and get what I wanted, or to make myself look better or even embellish a story to make it sound more dynamic than it really was. My dishonesty became a tool I would use to get the result I was looking for. And the more dishonest I was, the more it pulled me down into the darkness where I felt alone and afraid of being found out. My illness wanted me there, and it too lied to me to keep me sick.

It wasn’t until I made the commitment to get better that I made a commitment to be honest. That honesty started the first day by me coming clean with my family and close friends about what had been going on in my life and how sick I was. I knew, if I was going to get better, and make positive changes in my life, I had to be accountable for my actions and I needed to start getting honest with myself and those around me. It was scary, but it was also liberating. In fact, it felt so good that once I started I just kept going, but the tougher work was still ahead of me. I had to change that old behavior of not only lying to others, but to myself, and as I had mentioned, I had become so good at it that I wasn’t even aware at times I was doing it. I had to be vigilant, and I was. There were times I would catch myself lying and didn’t even know why I was lying, just out of habit, those lies felt the worst as I wasn’t even conscious of it, but those bad feelings were enough to encourage me to stop and to catch myself before I started to tell the lie. The more I practiced it the better I got. The hardest part was coming clean with myself and all of the lies and things I had done and lied to myself about. My head wanted to keep blaming myself, shaming myself and keeping myself from getting well, but I knew my honesty was a key part to me getting better, and staying better. There wasn’t anything I had done that couldn’t be forgiven, but that meant I had to also forgive myself, that was the toughest part, but I was taught that part of my forgiveness could take form as a living amends, to myself and those in my life, to make better choices and live honestly as a way of healing that part of me and my life. Looking at it from that perspective allowed me to get to work and through that work I was able to open the door on finding that forgiveness in myself. As the blog titles says, it takes practice.

We all have told little white lies, maybe to protect someone else, maybe to protect ourselves, but even those little ones can easily turn into bigger ones and perhaps into a pattern of lies that we might not even see. It is up to us to keep ourselves in check and keep ourselves in a place of honesty. It is in honesty where we can share our heart and our true selves with those around us, where we can shine bright and be who we are meant to be, and we all deserve to be just that, our best selves. Make sure to catch yourself the next time you bend the truth, or tell a lie, ask yourself why you feel you need to do that, the answer is the key to where to start your healing and your path back to the light. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you always tell the truth? If not, what do you lie about? Do you consider that a big lie? Do you tell, what you would consider, little white lies? Do you count those as lies? If not, why not? How do you think those little white lies hurt you? How do you think they hurt those around you? Why do you think you tell them? Do you sometimes catch yourself lying about something you don’t need to lie about? Why do you think you do that? How can you stop yourself from doing that? It’s always better to be honest, even when honesty isn’t the easier softer way, it’s still better than not telling the truth and it coming out later, or feeling bad about it. Work to be more honest in your life, not only with others, but most of all, with yourself.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The most important time in the world is the time you make for yourself.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Spend Time

Make An Appointment With Yourself

Before walking this path the last thing I wanted to do was check in with myself. My goal each and every day was to hide, to shut off the negative self-talk in my head and to not feel anything. I was in such terror of my own thoughts that I had even stopped going to yoga in fear of being alone in my head for an hour without any distractions, something I hadn’t even realized I had done until years later when I was on a path of recovery. Everything in me worked to get outside of myself and the torture of my own thoughts. But when I made a commitment to get better and seek treatment, the running had to stop and the honesty had to begin. The thought of that terrified me. I knew all of the things that I had stuffed down and was trying to hide from, how the heck was I now just going to let it all out and what was I going to do with it all? That’s where the support and help came in, and as previously mentioned, the honesty. I wasn’t going to be able to do it alone and I needed to reach out for help.

It was through the honesty and help of others that I was able to slowly let go and allow myself to feel. I’m going to be honest, it was scary at first, and at times, very overwhelming, but I was able to tap into my thoughts and feelings, and, started to learn the truth from the fiction. My head always wants to paint me as a victim, but that isn’t true, it wants to me to stay sick, so it will still tell me lies, I have learned, over many years, not to listen to those lies, but sometimes I can still fall into old behaviors and believe them for a short while, but most of the time, now, I can sift through the truth from the bullshit. And, it’s important for me to do that. To take some time and make an appointment with myself and check in. That can be in meditation, sitting quietly for a short time, it can take form in a walk or spending time nature, it can be laying down quietly, or perhaps, yes, taking a yoga class. But it’s important that I check in to see where my head and thoughts are at, because they tell me a lot how I’m doing, and what may need to be worked on or fixed. Our thoughts, even the bad ones, can also show us what we need to work on, or address, they’re like that light that comes on in the car when it needs service, they’re nothing to be afraid of, just should be looked at. Taking time for and with yourself also is an act of self-love, it is a loving gesture to yourself to show you care and want the best for yourself.

We all have busy lives, and sometimes our thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming, or maybe something we don’t want to feel, but it is important that we do feel them and look for a way to acknowledge them and find the root of them so the real issue can be dealt with. It’s also important to share our thoughts and feelings with those we trust or a professional who may have some advice or a way to work through them, it’s important to find a solution and let them go.

Find some time in this week to make an appointment with yourself. Whether it be for 5 minutes, an hour or a whole day, that time is always time well spent, and you may just thank yourself for it later. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you take time for yourself? What do you do to make time to honor yourself? How do you do that? How often do you do that? If you don’t, how can you make some time to honor yourself and check in to see how you’re doing today? Are you afraid of doing so? If so, why? Do you have people in your life you can share your honest thoughts and feelings with? Do you have a professional person you can do that with, or someone within a religious or spiritual community? If not, how can you go about finding someone who you can feel comfortable with to share your thoughts and feelings? Look for opportunities this week to take some time for yourself, or perhaps check in with yourself today.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Your decision to walk creates the road ahead.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Better Ahead

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, focus on what to do next, and spend your energy moving toward finding those things that are going right.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Bicycle

Life Is A Road Not A Rest Stop

Most of us set goals for ourselves, or have a destination in mind we’d like to get to. We keep working and striving to get where we want to be, or may get diverted to where we should be. But there are those of us too, or times in our lives, that stop. Sometimes those rests are needed, we do need to take breaks and allow ourselves to regain focus, recharge or rethink where we’re headed, but keeping ourselves in check so we don’t get too comfortable where we are and overstay our welcome is important. We’re not meant to stand still and remain where we are, we are meant to learn, grow and move forward, even though that place where we may find ourselves may feel safe, or all we can every attain, it is not, on both accounts, unless we believe that, and we shouldn’t allow ourselves to.

I used to talk myself out of many opportunities even before they started. I would allow my negative self-talk convince me that I wasn’t good enough, or it was too difficult or I didn’t deserve what I wanted or what was presented in front of me. I had goals, there were things I wanted, and if I obtained them enough, I would sit tight and hide, thinking it would be taken away or in fear of the next goal or milestone. I would let the entirety of the journey ahead stall me before I even left the gate, and those voices in my head would tell me I was reaching too high and could never get there. It wasn’t until I changed paths and started on the path I am now that I was told that all I had to do was what was in front of me today, and do the best I could within that day, that things changed for me. Just focusing on today was much more manageable, and sometimes at the start, it was focusing on minute by minute, but it helped me to break it down into more manageable parts. As I began to practice this new way of life I started reaching new milestones and goals I had set for myself, my life was moving forward and I was leaving my old life behind. I attribute that to the work I was doing and my change in method, but I also attribute that to finally being in the right path, the path I was meant to be on. I find that when we are trying to force a certain path that movement forward is painstakingly slow, if at all, and each step feels like trying to run through quick sand, but when we are where we are meant to be, those steps can easily turn into long strides of achievement. I was not mean to stay where I was, in fact I would have died there, I was and am meant to be exactly where I am today.

It is always important to take breaks and rest, but we need to make sure we haven’t lost track of time and have stayed in a rest stop when we are meant to be back on the road. We all have a purpose, a reason for being here, whether you know what your calling is or not, it’s about following your heart, your soul, that inner voice inside of you that guides you and shows you the way, or it may be finding that to start, but it’s there, if you let yourself be quiet enough to hear it, maybe that is your path, right here, right now. Many times life doesn’t look the way we thought it would be, or should be, but we are shown different paths or lead to them for a reason, if you don’t like the one you’re on, stop and look around, listen, take rest, and then get back on the road that calls your name. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel like you’re on road or stuck in a rest stop? Why do you feel this way? Do you feel like you need a rest, or got stuck there? Or, are you afraid to leave there? Are you happy with the road you find yourself on today? If not, why not? How can you find the right road for you? What road would you like to find yourself on? What steps can you take today to get yourself closer to that road? Each and every day there are many roads in front of us, with many exits and rest stops, take the road that feels most authentic to you, even if it’s the more difficult, if it is where you are meant to be, that road will become less treacherous, and you may just find yourself on the expressway.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

 

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Focus on creating the story you want to be in, not the one you’re still angry about from your past.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay The Past Future

Do You Like To Star In Your Own Junkologue?

We all have a past. We all have pain. But some of us don’t just carry it—we perform it. Over and over. Like a monologue we’ve rehearsed so well, it becomes our identity. If that sounds familiar, you might be starring in what I call your junkologue.

It’s that loop where you retell the same stories of pain, betrayal, and hardship—not to heal, but to get a reaction. Maybe it’s sympathy. Maybe it’s validation. Maybe it’s just to be seen. But here’s the thing: living in your junk keeps you from living in your truth.

Are You Telling It or Reliving It?

There’s a difference between sharing your story and clinging to it. We often convince ourselves we’re “working through” something when in reality, we’re rehashing it to stay stuck.

Before I found the courage to get help, I was the lead in my junkologue. I told my tales of pain like war stories—always the victim, never the villain. I’d exaggerate to gain sympathy or manipulate situations to my advantage. It wasn’t humility. It was a form of emotional exhibitionism—a way to keep myself small while trying to feel important.

I told myself I was being vulnerable. But I wasn’t. I was addicted to the attention my wounds gave me. And the people who stuck around? They were often stuck in their own junk too. Misery doesn’t just love company—it curates it.

The Shift From Performance to Purpose

Everything changed when I started asking the hard questions: Why am I telling this story? What am I hoping to gain? Am I using it to inspire—or to indulge?

That’s when I discovered what true humility really meant. It wasn’t putting myself down publicly for applause. It was being honest about my part in the story. It was making amends, not just confessions.

Now, if I share a piece of my past, it’s with purpose—to support, connect, or guide. Not to center myself in pain, but to show what healing looks like.

Your junkologue doesn’t have to be your identity. It can be your origin story—but only if you let yourself grow beyond it.

What’s Your Motivation?

Your story is powerful. But ask yourself: Are you using it to heal—or to hide?

  • Are you sharing to connect, or to compete?
  • Are you expressing yourself, or performing a role?
  • Are you owning your part—or just retelling how others hurt you?

If you’re constantly the victim in every version of your story, it might be time to zoom out. See your patterns. See your choices. See your growth.

Because you are not your worst moments. You are not your junk. You are who you decide to become next.

Being a SLAYER Means Owning the Mic With Intention

We’ve all survived things. But survival isn’t the goal—thriving is.

So the next time you feel the urge to share your junkologue, pause. Ask yourself: Is this for healing, or habit? Is this story helping me evolve—or keeping me stuck?

When we tell our stories with ownership, honesty, and heart, they lift us—and those listening. When we tell them for attention or control, they keep us in the shadows.

You get to choose which version you tell. And more importantly—you get to choose what comes next.

Step out of your junkologue, and into your power. That’s how we Slay.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you tend to repeat certain stories from your past? Why?
  2. How do you feel during and after sharing those stories?
  3. What are you hoping others will give you when you share them?
  4. Are you honest about your part in those stories?
  5. What could shift if you reframed your story as a source of strength, not pain?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Share with purpose, not pity
  • Let go of old narratives that no longer serve
  • Acknowledge your part and your progress
  • You control the next chapter of your story

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Do you ever catch yourself performing your junkologue? What helps you shift into healing mode instead?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in the loop of their old story, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You are strong when you know your weaknesses.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Aspire Strengths