Author: Carrie Genzel

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Love yourself so much you fill in all the cracks.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Love Mirror

Bringing Love To Your Wounds

Often times we are the ones who hurt ourselves the most. And even in times when someone else may be hurting us, we allow them to do it, whether directly or indirectly, by engaging with that person or putting ourselves in the situation to begin with. But, most times we are the ones who do the most damage to ourselves, we suffer the most by our own hand. Sometimes we do it by not giving ourselves credit for something we’ve achieved, by punishing ourselves for doing something wrong or not knowing better, for missing an opportunity, missing a deadline, or not speaking up for ourselves. We continue to bully ourselves for these things and keep picking away at a wound that is already there. We get ourselves into a viscous cycle of self-attack, self-defense, self-imposed guilt, and self-imposed blame. But it’s important to seek out the right within the wrong, or even question whether the act was “wrong” in the first place and not merely just a chance to learn or do it better next time. This journey, this path, we are on is about learning and growing, if we all knew everything and did everything perfectly every time, none of us would know how great it feels to find success after a previous failure. It’s those “failures” that build our strength and show us who we are, if we’re able to use them as tools to build a better us.

Before setting out on a path of recovery, I only focused on what I thought was bad about myself, or inadequate. I had a constant loop in my head telling myself what and who I was not. When someone would compliment me I would quickly point out why I didn’t deserve the compliment and shoot it down. I would beat myself up for having a lack of clarity and or for indecisiveness, which many times came from fear of doing what I really wanted, that I labeled it as a sign of weakness. I could tell you all the things I was not, but I couldn’t tell you why, and the reason I couldn’t was because in reality it wasn’t true, it was a narrative I would tell myself to keep myself sick, to keep myself isolated from those around me and to prevent myself from achieving what I was too afraid to believe I deserved.

It wasn’t until I found the courage to see the right beneath the wrong that things started to change. I had to change my thinking and I had to learn to trust myself. That shift happened by learning to take a compliment, and if I truly didn’t believe I deserved it, to just say thank you, not talk back and try to take it away. I was taught that when I argued and said I didn’t deserve it, that I was actually telling that person they were wrong, or a liar, and that wasn’t something I wanted to do, so a simple thank you helped me through that to start. I learned to trust myself by doing trustworthy things, to be accountable for my actions and words, and be open to the belief that I deserved good things, so when they came my way I could humbly smile and say OK. All of these baby steps took time, along with others, that slowly helped me let go of my self-imprisonment and learn to let myself live, mistakes and all. I had to learn to bring love to my wounds, and it was that love that would eventually let them heal.

We often focus on all the things we think are wrong with us, what we lack, but what if, just for today, you offered yourself some love and acceptance so you can move beyond what you may not have been to what you can do. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you focus on what you think your shortcomings are? Is that all you see? Why? When was the last time you let yourself take credit for something? Do you take compliments from others easily? If not, why not? Do you give compliments to others? How does that make you feel? How do you feel if someone doesn’t accept your compliment? Do you see how when you don’t accept a compliment yourself that the other person may feel that same way? What if today you focused on all the things you are instead of what you’re not, and see how that focus may change your day, you never know SLAYER, you may just try it again the next day just to make sure you were right.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Monsters don’t sleep under your bed, they scream in your head, if you don’t let them out.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Shame

Name Them, Claim Them, Dump Them

For a long time, I treated my feelings like enemies. I did everything I could to ignore, numb, or bury them—hoping they’d disappear on their own. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.

Sure, I could silence them for a while. Sometimes for years. But those unspoken feelings came at a high cost. Eventually, they nearly cost me my life.

When We Bury Our Feelings, We Bury Ourselves

The longer I ignored my emotions, the louder they got. The more I tried to push them down, the more they pushed back. And when I finally stripped away the things I used to keep them at bay—addiction, distraction, denial—they all came rushing in.

It felt like I was drowning.

But that tidal wave of emotion was the beginning of something new. Something honest. Something healing. I had to learn to acknowledge my feelings—to name them, accept them, and then choose what to do with them.

Name It. Claim It. Dump It.

That became my process. Name it: What exactly am I feeling? Claim it: This is mine. I don’t have to like it, but I have to own it. Dump it: Let go of what no longer serves me.

Some emotions had roots in deep pain, old stories, or unhealthy patterns. Others were tied to my illness—trying to pull me back into the darkness I fought so hard to escape. But once I named them, I could choose whether they stayed.

Not every feeling deserves a seat at your table.

Feelings Don’t Want to Be Ignored

Even now, years into recovery, those old feelings still show up. Sometimes in disguise. Sometimes dressed in new circumstances. But I know better now.

If I ignore them, they grow. If I pretend they aren’t there, they get louder. But if I meet them with truth, honesty, and intention—they lose their power.

Feelings won’t kill you. But hiding from them just might.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to fear my feelings. I just have to deal with them before they deal with me. And when I stay honest, stay kind, and stay vigilant? That’s when I stay free.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you try to hide or stuff down your feelings?
  2. What feelings scare you the most—and why?
  3. What have your feelings been trying to tell you lately?
  4. Are you willing to name and claim your emotions?
  5. What outdated feelings are you ready to dump for good?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Slow down and tune in to what you’re feeling.
  • Label it honestly—no shame.
  • Acknowledge what’s useful and what’s not.
  • You get to choose what stays and what goes.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What feeling are you finally ready to let go of?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been holding back their feelings, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes it takes an incredible breakdown to have an incredible breakthrough.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Humility

Humility Coming From Pain

I know for me, it took a lot of pain before I found any humility, it actually took me getting knocked down to me knees, time and time again, until I finally surrendered. Up until that point, I thought I knew better, knew what was best for me, and usually, what was best for you too. My ego kept me sick, and it kept me from having meaningful honest relationships in my life. I was never going to find or see a solution when my ego was running the show, and it was my ego that nearly cost me my life. Humility is where we’re teachable, it’s where the light comes in and the healing can start. It’s that place where we give ourselves permission to ask for help, and where we find the willingness to do the work to find peace. Why do we put ourselves through so much pain until we are able to find humility?

I used to think that humility meant weakness. That it meant I couldn’t fail or make excuses for myself, that I had to have it all figured out, and be successful in everything I did. Now that is one tall order I was never going to live up to, no one could. And, not at all what humility actually is. I also used to confuse humility with self-deprecation. I would tell myself I was being humble but really just putting myself down or not taking credit for a compliment or appreciation of a job well done. That was as close to humility as I ever got, self-abuse to beat my ego down for a moment before it inflated back up to it’s super-sized proportion.

When set out on a path of recovery, I was told I needed to stay right-sized. That struggle inside of me of thinking I knew everything but that I was also a piece if crap didn’t know what to do with that. What size was right? I needed to find some humility and figure it out.

The first step of humility for me was asking for help. A phone call that opened the door, and it was from that step that I was able to find some humility from there, but it took some work to get my ego “right-sized” and admit that not only did I not know everything, I probably knew very little. In fact, considering where I found myself, I probably didn’t know much of anything in that moment. That was scary, but also exciting, to know that, if I let myself, I was about to embark on a new way of life that was going to teach me how to live in a healthier happier way. I had to push that ego aside over and over, as being teachable was the most important thing I needed to get better, and still is today. I needed to look at my part of things, and my part was all over the misery and heartache I had felt in my past, and learn to forgive myself and not blame others for my mistakes and choices that had gotten me to that place. I had to learn what true humility was, and I had to learn that when I let my ego run the show again that the only result was pain, pain that would eventually bring me back to humility.

We don’t have to wait for pain to push us to humility, but for many of us that’s what it takes. Sometimes a lot of pain. I am grateful that I was able to endure the pain I was to find my humility, and that I have learned over the years what true humility is and how to use it properly in my life. I know today that we are all important, and what we say, feel and do has the same level of importance and worth, we are all here to contribute and to share who we are and what we are, the best of what we have to offer, but none of us are better than any other, we are all here to learn, to grow, and, to remain teachable, because if we lose that teachability we probably setting ourselves up for more pain. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Has pain lead you to humility in your life? How so? What pain of you caused yourself with your lack of humility? Do you consider humility a bad thing? Why is that? How have you seen humility be a positive attribute in your life or the life of others? What can you do to find more humility in your life? No human being knows everything, and what we do know is limited to our perspective and experience, it is important to always remain open to new ideas and concepts, as well as the knowledge that there the world is much bigger than what we see everyday. We all have a great contribution to make, to share our best selves, but no one’s contribution is better than anyone else’s if it comes from your true self and shared from our heart.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There’s nothing left for you in that space back there, so let go and move on.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay The More Anger

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Happiness is letting go of what you thought your life was supposed to look like and being open to a life beyond what you could have imagined.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Remaining Who We Are (1)

Losing Touch With Who You Used To Be

I’m often reminded of who I used to be. Gratefully, I get many chances to share my story of where I came from with people like myself, who are on this same path, or just beginning their journey, and it’s in sharing what I used to be like that I realize how far away I am from the woman I was. I am relieved, as she was in a lot of pain and suffered a lot at by her own hand, but she’s still a part of me and the reason I work each day to keep her in the past.

It’s important to remember where we’ve come from, how much we’ve changed, and the work it’s taken to get where we are right now, and the more we focus on the good, on this moment, the here and now, the more we let go our painful past and those parts of us we had to let go to get to this place. It feels good to feel so far away from who I used to be, but I’m also reminded that if I don’t take care of myself, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, that woman, from the past starts to creep back into the present. She’ll never go away, and there’s a part of me that knows it’s important that she doesn’t, so I don’t forget the woman I’ve worked so hard to leave behind. But the more I live as my true self, the me of today, the more I let go of her and lose touch with that me and focus on my life today, a life I can be proud of.

When I was in my disease, and who I used to be, I never imagined the me of today was possible, all I saw was darkness and those things I hated about myself. The negative bullshit committee in my head would tell me that my life was never going to get any better and neither was I. Life seemed so bleak, without any light, and I wasn’t so sure I even worthy of the light, and so I kept sliding back into the darkness. I thought, who I was kept me safe, but what it did was kept me isolated and away from a solution. I identified with who I was, I knew her and I suppose, I hid behind her when life felt too overwhelming or I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling. It was hard to let her go, she was the me I had known most of my life, the me I had grown up with and the me I thought I’d always be, but there was a new me waiting on the other side of humility, courage and hope. Slowly, as I began to build who I am today, I let go of who I used to be, and she, over time, melted into the background.

We get to choose who we are, and if we don’t like who we’ve become, we can do the work to change. It may take some help, it certainly did for me, a lot of it, but with love and support from those who were walking the same walk I was on, and some professionals, I was able to let go and let the love surround me until I felt safe, and from that place of safety I was able to change, a little at a time. You can too. It is within our power to lose touch with who we were as we become or focus on who we are meant to be, to let go of old ideas and concepts that no longer serve us, or never did, to forge a new way of life that let’s our heart and soul shine. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Have you lost touch with who you used to be? How have you done that? What have you done to change? Why did you make those changes? How did those changes allow you to let go of the old you? What parts of the old you do you still cling to? Should you let them go? How can you work on letting them go? What are you most proud of today of who you’ve become? Focus on that SLAYER, those qualities that make you you and allow you to be your best self, and keep challenging yourself to find more of those qualities, the more we focus on our positive attributes, the more we find, until soon, we no longer feel the need to hang on to who we used to be.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Family isn’t always blood, it’s those people we choose to have in our lives who want us in theirs, who accept us for who we are, and would do anything to see us smile.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Friends and Family