Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Be grateful to everyone who lifts you up and helps you shine. We go further together.

SLAY on!
Candle

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Good things happen, love is real, we will be OK.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Hope Darkness

 

 

 

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Look Bad

The Good Version Of Yourself

For most of my life I was not living as the good version of myself. She was down there, somewhere, but I had thrown years and years worth of garbage on top of her so that all I could see was the garbage, and, I believed that all you could see was the garbage as well. Deep down I believed that the good version of myself was still in there, but I didn’t know if I could dig down deep enough to find that good version, and that garbage I kept piling on was slowly eating away at the person I had become. Even so, sometimes she would come out, but she couldn’t stand the weight of all of that garbage and would retreat back down in the darkness she had become accustomed to living.

When I stepped on this path, I made a commitment to dig down and get that good version of me out. This was a rescue mission, to save the good version of me, and to save my life. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find when I started digging, or how far I was going to have to dig to get her out, but I started to do the work to find her, and, to hopefully save her. I surrounded myself with those, like myself, who had already done the work, and those who, like me, where just getting started or on their own path of rescue. Each one of them saw themselves in me, as I did them, and they were able to see the good version of me, even though I wasn’t able to see her on my own most of the time, but, they could see her, and I started to see her through their eyes and with their support, and through them, I was able to start reconnecting with her. I was now more determined than ever, doing what was suggested, to sift through the rubble to get her out. Along the way, after years and years of stuffing her down, I wasn’t sure what I was really going to find when I found her. I had been stuffing her down and stuffing things on top of the good version of me for so long that I had lost who she really was, who I really was, I had stopped caring for that good version of me and had lost touch with who she really was. When I found her I had to get to know her again, or, in all honesty, likely, get to know her for the first time. I did find her, and make a commitment to her every day to do what’s right for her, and to never stuff her down or pile garbage on top of her ever again. Her light and spirit shines through me, she is the good version of me, and I am that good version, and now the good version of me found the good version of someone else, and together they are very happy, and are even better together.

We all have a good version of ourselves, and it’s up to us to let that good version out, to care and nurture that good version and to let that good version shine. If we’re not careful we can lose that good version, or push that good version aside, when we do our heart knows and our light dims, so it’s up to us to light that flame again, or perhaps, see our light through someone else’s eyes. There is good in you, the good in me sees it, and encourages the good version of you to come out and be everything it is meant to be. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe you are the good version of you? If not why not? If you don’t, where is the good version of you? Do you believe that good version is inside you, waiting to get out? What stops it? Are you stopping it? Why? Has the good version of you gotten buried under the stuff you pile on top of it? How can you get that good version of yourself out? It’s in there SLAYER, focus on the good and see the good in you through the people in your life who only see that good, they will help you find it again, or, for the first time. There is good in you, and that good is you.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What picture are you painting today?

SLAY on!

state-of-slay Paint

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! To live a beautiful life we must lose the fear of being wrong.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Express Yourself (1)

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Let no one discourage you. You don’t need a fan club to achieve your goals. Be your own motivation.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Ships

The Living Dead – Numbing Parts Of Yourself And Letting Them Die Off

For most of my life I lived my life like the living dead. I was living a life, well, going through the motions, but was numbing our stuffing down those parts of me that were too painful or I didn’t want to face. I had done that for so long that it became normal to shut down my feelings and thoughts until some of them started to die off. Some of those parts I didn’t even notice were gone and others I was glad to see go because I thought it made my life easier not to feel them. I thought those parts dying off made my life easier. But what was happening is I was slowly becoming dead inside and the only thing I was making easier was for the negative voices in my head to take over and control my life.

My whole life I had tried to fill a void inside of me with outside things, something I was never able to do, and couldn’t do, but by numbing parts of myself or letting parts of me die off I made that void even bigger. My brain was telling me that this was a good thing, but what it was really doing was letting my disease progress and start to take over from those parts of me that knew better or would resist. I look back at myself at that time and I looked dead. There was no life in my eyes, and there have been times I haven’t even recognized myself in photographs. If you had asked me during that time how I was I would have said great, but I would have been lying. I would even lie to myself, but underneath my own bullshit I knew it wasn’t true, that I was dying, and I was letting it happen. It got to a point where I was almost completely dead inside, and the rest of those parts of me that hadn’t died, were in grave danger of forever being numb, but I somehow found one tiny bit of light left, one little bit of hope that I hadn’t killed off, and that little bit was enough to give me the courage to reach out for help before I had let go all together and succumbed to death itself.

Today, after many years of work and learning to love myself, I have also learned to feel my feelings without being afraid of them. No matter what life throws at me I won’t allow myself to numb what comes up, and I certainly won’t allow any piece of me to die off because I’m afraid of it. That does make some days difficult, it can be uncomfortable to sit in my feelings and then have to find a way to work through them, and I do it. I do it because I’m worth it. I’m worth the work, and I know that today. And so are you.

We are not meant to go through life numb, or let parts of us die off just so we can get by without feeling things we don’t want to feel. Those feelings are there to tell us things, to teach us things, and to guide us to where we are meant to be. Those feelings are there for a reason, so to take them away we are walking through life blind, and wandering aimlessly to whatever destination seems the easiest, and not where we are necessarily meant to be to help us grow and learn. If you find something too painful use that as in indicator to change, to seek out help, to understand why these memories or feelings have come up, there is always a reason for everything, so trust that you are experiencing exactly what you are supposed to and instead of grabbing for the nearest thing to numb those feelings, ask yourself what you can do to learn from what it is coming up, no matter how daunting that may seem, there is always a way to find your way on the other side of them, and find a way to let your inner light shine and burn bright. I was able to find my light in the darkness, and I know you can too. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: When you feel uncomfortable with your feelings do you immediately try to numb them or make them go away? Why? How do you do that? How does that help you? How does that hurt you? How long have you done that? Do you ever let yourself feel your feelings? What scares you about your feelings? Where you ever told you weren’t allowed to have feelings? Who told you that? Why? You are allowed SLAYER, we’re all entitled to feel what we feel, and we can use what we feel to get stronger and to let those feelings guide us to where we are meant to be next, and typically the feelings we are resisting the most are the ones that are going to teach us the most, so dive in and feel what you feel.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! 80% of success is just showing up.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Show Up

Just Show Up

There were so many times in my life, before stepping on this path, when I never started things. When I meant to make better choices, different choices, healthier choices, but didn’t feel like I had enough information to start, or it wasn’t the right time, or I thought I should wait for a bigger sign, when really all I had to do was just show up. There are always excuses or reasons not to start something, or show up for someone or yourself, but all that is required is to show up, to do the best you can and figure it out as you go. No one has all the answers. No one. There isn’t some magical guide out there with the right way to do everything. Well, I guess there is, but it’s not something you can hold in your hand, it’s inside of us. Each an every one of us has that magical guide, it burns inside of us and when we connect with it, and listen to it, it shows us, not only by the way we feel, but it will show us in ways we can see, hear and touch. We just have to be open to it.

When I was living in the dark I had turned off that inner guide. My mental illness told me I knew better. that I didn’t need to listen to it, or that it wasn’t actually there at all, but it was, I had just stuffed it down, piled a bunch of stuff on top of it and had numbed myself so much I couldn’t hear it anymore, or feel that it was there. That’s exactly where my disease wanted me, so it could tell me things that weren’t true. It told me that there was no use in starting something new because it wouldn’t work, or I wouldn’t be good at it, or no one would accept me. And since I had turned off my inner guide and wasn’t sharing these thoughts with anyone, I believed it. I watched opportunity after opportunity pass me by and each time I did, I sank deeper in the darkness. The only opportunities not taking those opportunities gave me was the ability to continue to knock myself down and tell myself I wasn’t good enough, that I was too much of a coward to start something new or try to live a better life, or that I wasn’t worth showing up for. It seems so simple, looking back, that each time an opportunity did come up all I had to do was show up to make a difference, to change the pattern I was in, but I stayed where it felt safe, where my disease wanted me, until I had to make a change to save my life.

I can’t say what exactly happened to make me finally show up for myself, I just knew that I had to or I would no longer have a choice. That little bit of light inside of me shined that night as bright as it could, but it was enough, it was enough to ask for help and to finally show up. When I did, I had no idea what to do next, or how things were going to go, but I was there, I was present for me, and I asked for direction from those who had stood where I was, and I kept just showing up, each day, and each day I got stronger, I got better, I started to shine brighter.

You don’t have to know all the answers, or the path you need to be on to change your life. Just show up. Be willing. Be open. Just be. One of my favorite quotes is by Zig Ziglar, it goes “You don’t have to be great to start, but you do have to start to be great.” Just start, because that in itself is great, and if you show up each day ready to start and take on whatever may come, one day you may just realize how great you really are. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you stop yourself from starting something new or something you know is good for you? Why? What’s stops you? What do you tell yourself that stops you? How can you get around this? What should you be starting that you haven’t? What can you do to start? How will starting help you? Focus on the good SLAYER, focus on how showing up can help you grow, help you to move on, and help you to move forward to where you are meant to be. I know that can be scary, walking on a path you’ve never walked, but trust that you are there for a reason, and know that there are many of us walking that same path who will walk with you. You are not alone. Just show up. You’ll see us there.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you