Personal Growth

Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body

It was in my teens that I first remember turning against my body.

I had been a thin, athletic kid, comfortable in my skin — and then things started to change. My body began doing things I didn’t understand and didn’t want. It started drawing attention I didn’t ask for. And instead of curiosity, I felt betrayal.

I felt like my body had turned on me.

I already carried discomfort inside myself — parts of who I was that I kept hidden — and when my body began changing, it only amplified that discomfort. I started comparing myself to everyone around me. Measuring myself against them. Finding myself lacking in every direction.

Nothing ever felt good enough.

And that’s when the spiral began — not in my body, but in my mind.

My mind started bullying my body.

When Control Becomes the Goal

Looking back now, I can see it clearly.

What I was really afraid of wasn’t my body — it was not being in control.

There were so many things in my life I felt powerless over, and my changing body felt like the final betrayal. So I did what I thought would give me control back.

I tried to stop it.
Manipulate it.
Shrink it.
Silence it.

That path led to an eating disorder — one I was lucky to recover from.

It took years to heal. Years to rebuild trust with food. Years to rebuild trust with my body. And even now, there are still days I have to stay conscious and accountable with my thinking.

What makes me sad looking back isn’t my body — it’s the hatred I had for myself.

There was never anything wrong with my body.

The Voice Was the Real Problem

I see now that the damage wasn’t physical — it was mental.

The voice in my head was cruel.
Relentless.
Unforgiving.

The more I hated myself, the louder it got.

I wanted to disappear into the crowd.
Blend in.
Not be noticed.
Not be questioned.

So I tried to control myself into invisibility.

That voice told me I was the problem.
That my body was the problem.
That I had to fix it to be acceptable.

But the truth is: my body was never the enemy.

My mind was.

Learning a New Relationship

Today, I appreciate my body.

Not because it looks a certain way —
but because of what it does for me.

It carries me.
It heals.
It protects.
It supports my life.

And while I still have days where old thoughts creep in — because healing isn’t linear — I no longer live in war with myself.

I no longer punish my body for existing.

I no longer try to control it out of fear.

I no longer define my worth by how it looks.

Health Without Hate

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel healthy.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel strong.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to care for your body.

But when self care is driven by self hatred, it becomes harm.

We are not meant to all look the same.
We are not meant to fit one mold.
We are not meant to match one standard.

Different shapes.
Different sizes.
Different structures.
Different beauty.

Every body is valid.

Changing the Relationship, Not the Reflection

Healing doesn’t start in the mirror.

It starts in the mind.

In how we speak to ourselves.
In how we interpret our reflection.
In how we define worth.
In how we measure value.

Your body doesn’t need to be fixed.
It needs to be respected.

Your Body Is Not the Problem

Your body is not your failure.
Your body is not your enemy.
Your body is not your shame.

It’s your home.

And it deserves compassion — not cruelty.

Care — not control.
Respect — not punishment.
Safety — not shame.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s reflect, SLAYER:

S: What negative thoughts do you carry about your body?
L: Where did those beliefs come from?
A: What would change if you spoke to your body with compassion instead of criticism?
Y: How can you start practicing care instead of control today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What is one way you can start treating your body with more kindness today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who struggles with body shame, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Make Your Life A Masterpiece

This week, we’re staying with family, surrounded by beautiful art. On every wall hangs a piece of our hostess’s work or contributions from others. I find myself getting lost in the stories these pieces tell—their artistry and expression of life. It made me think: we are all the artists of our own lives. We hold the brush, and we can fill our days with expressions of who we are.

You don’t have to be an artist to create a masterpiece. Masterpieces can be found in the way we care for our family, in the hobbies that bring us joy, in a dance, a kind word, or a simple act of love. Anything that expresses our spirit and who we truly are becomes our art.

But life can bog us down. We get caught up in obligations, societal expectations, or the need to present a curated version of ourselves to the world. We forget to live out loud and express our authentic selves in whatever form that takes.

Finding Light in the Darkness

When I was lost in my disease, my life was devoid of color. I couldn’t imagine that I had anything beautiful to contribute to the world. My mind convinced me that any light I once had was gone. As an artist, that belief was soul-crushing.

But when I committed to getting better, I fought every day to rediscover the color in my heart. I clung to gratitude—anything that would keep me moving toward light instead of darkness. Slowly, the color crept back in. I learned that I was capable of many masterpieces, more than I had ever imagined. Some days, my masterpiece was simply a smile.

Our masterpieces start from within. How we choose to express them is deeply personal and uniquely ours.

Art Is Everywhere

As I sit here, surrounded by this art, I am struck by the passion and beauty poured into each piece. These works inspire me—and perhaps they can inspire you—to create your own art. Your expression may look different, but the essence is the same: honoring your spirit and sharing it with the world.

On a day-to-day level, masterpieces can take any form. A heartfelt conversation. A helping hand. A gesture of love. These acts, however small, are works of art that reflect the beauty inside you.

SLAY Reflection: What Is Your Masterpiece?

How do you express your true spirit to the world?
What beauty in your life can you share more freely?
In what new ways can you let your light shine?
Have you held back your creativity or gifts? Why?
What’s one small way you can share your masterpiece today?

You have a gift to share, SLAYER. Your light may just inspire someone else to begin their masterpiece. So pick up your brush and create.

SLAY on.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
How do you share your own light, and what’s one masterpiece you’re ready to create?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck or uninspired, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little spark.

Fighting Your Own Battle

Most of us have heard the phrase: Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. It’s a gentle reminder to extend grace to others. But here’s the truth that hits a little deeper: Sometimes we do know what battle someone is facing—and we’re still trying to fight our own.

It’s hard enough to stay present in our own struggle. Add in someone else’s chaos, triggers, or unresolved pain, and suddenly your progress feels shaky, your peace interrupted, your healing…unraveled.

I Had to Learn to Fight for Myself First

For years, I didn’t know how to fight my own battle. I carried old wounds, outdated beliefs, and habits that didn’t serve me—but they were familiar. They felt like truth.

Over time, I found my stride. I learned to live with my battle in a way that felt healthy, loving, and sustainable. But the journey wasn’t smooth. I assumed that because I was working so hard to grow, change, and heal…everyone else was too.

Spoiler alert: They weren’t.

That assumption pulled me down more than once. I had to stop seeing people for their potential and start meeting them exactly where they were. It wasn’t my job to rescue anyone or walk their path for them.

I had to protect my own peace—not because I was better, but because I was responsible for keeping myself well. And that meant accepting that not everyone is ready to do their work. Not everyone wants to. Not everyone knows how. And that’s not my battle to fight.

Other People’s Battles Are Not Yours to Lose

There will be people in your life who trigger things you thought you’d healed. It might not even make sense in the moment. But their words, tone, or behavior can hit a nerve connected to a wound from long ago.

Or maybe they remind you of yourself—an older version of you, or a part of you you’re still trying to change. And instead of compassion, you find yourself feeling judgmental or impatient.

When that happens, pause. Ask yourself:

Is this really about them—or is it about something unhealed in me?

We can’t control how others show up. But we can decide how much power we give them. If you’re agitated, it’s your responsibility to ask why.

That doesn’t mean blaming yourself. It means getting curious about your own reactions.

If someone’s behavior is affecting your peace and you can’t fix the issue—walk away. Let it go. Preserve your space. Protect your peace.

Focus on Your Fight

Your path is yours. So is your pace.

You’re allowed to heal slowly. You’re allowed to outgrow what you’ve outlived. You’re allowed to say, “I love you, but I’m focusing on me right now.”

And you’re also allowed to ask:

Why does this bother me? What is this trying to teach me?

You can’t fight someone else’s battle. They can’t fight yours. And trying to do so only distracts you from your own healing.

You’ve worked too hard to let someone else’s war pull you back into old patterns.

So stay the course. Fight clean. Protect your energy. Stay on your path.

You’re not just fighting—you’re winning. One healthy boundary at a time.

SLAY Reflection

Ask yourself:

Are you letting someone else’s energy throw you off track?
Do you take on other people’s battles to avoid your own?
What triggers you—and what does that trigger reveal about your healing?
Can you separate what’s yours from what’s not yours to carry?
What boundary can you set today to protect your peace?

S – L – A – Y

S: See what’s truly yours to carry.
L: Listen to what your agitation is telling you.
A: Act by protecting your peace, even if it means walking away.
Y: Yield to your own path—it’s where your healing lives.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever found yourself fighting someone else’s battle instead of your own?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to stay in their own lane, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

I Will Not Kick Myself When I’m Down

There was a time when I didn’t just fall down—I helped push myself further. The moment I was down, I would pile on the blame, the guilt, the shame. I thought that was what I deserved. That somehow the worse I felt, the more I could atone for my failures. But the truth is: kicking ourselves when we’re down doesn’t build us back up. It keeps us buried.

The Trap of Unrealistic Expectations

I held impossible expectations for myself. If I didn’t meet them perfectly (and let’s be honest, they were designed to be unmeetable), I used that as proof that I was a failure. That cycle of aiming too high, falling short, and self-destructing was its own form of punishment. And it kept me stuck in the belief that I wasn’t good enough.

Even when good things did happen, I didn’t trust them. I feared they’d be taken away. I feared I would mess them up. I feared someone would find out I didn’t deserve them. That mindset didn’t protect me—it prevented me from ever feeling joy, ease, or peace.

Ground Zero and the Climb Back Up

When I found recovery, I was at rock bottom. Spiritually bankrupt. Emotionally drained. I couldn’t get any lower. And still, the instinct to blame and shame myself was there. But slowly, step by step, I started doing something different. Instead of kicking myself, I started caring for myself.

I had to rewire my brain to stop looking at every misstep as proof of failure. I had to learn that failure is part of learning. And more importantly, I had to love myself through it. I started asking: What can this moment teach me? That changed everything.

Reframing Failure as Growth

Because failure isn’t failure if it teaches you something.

That shift in perspective allowed me to see mistakes not as dead ends, but as detours with lessons. Sometimes they pointed me toward a better path. Sometimes they showed me where I still had growing to do. And sometimes they helped me realize I was never really off-track—I was just learning in real time.

Yes, there were disappointments. Yes, I still felt frustration. But instead of spiraling into shame, I started practicing self-reflection with compassion. That’s how we grow. That’s how we keep going.

A Better Way Forward

So if you’re in a tough season, be honest with yourself: Are you making it harder by turning on yourself?

You may have goals and dreams that didn’t unfold how you imagined. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human. It means you’re on the journey. And maybe—just maybe—that so-called failure is actually pointing you toward what you were meant to do all along.

Let go of the punishment. Pick up the lesson. Love yourself when it’s hardest to do so. That’s where the real power lives.

SLAY Reflection

Do you tend to beat yourself up when things don’t go your way?
What expectations are you holding yourself to that may be unrealistic?
Can you think of a recent mistake that actually taught you something important?
How does self-compassion feel different from self-criticism?
What’s one way you can support yourself today, even if it feels uncomfortable?

S-L-A-Y:

Show yourself grace when you fall
Learn from the lesson
Acknowledge your humanity
You get to choose how you respond

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you break the cycle of beating yourself up? How do you practice self-love on your hardest days?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in the shame spiral, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Become Aware Of What’s Really Worth Your Energy

Not everything deserves your energy.
Not everyone deserves your light.
And before I began walking this path, I gave too much of myself to things—and people—that didn’t give anything back.

I stayed in relationships long after they served me. I committed to obligations that drained me. I was loyal… but loyal to a fault. And I confused that loyalty with self-worth, not realizing that I was spending my energy in all the wrong places.

The result? I was exhausted. Depleted. And stuck.

What You Feed Grows—So Be Careful What You Water

For years, I never asked myself what I truly enjoyed. What sparked something in me. What made me feel alive. Instead, I filled my schedule with what I thought I should do—and surrounded myself with people who didn’t challenge me to grow.

I gave my energy to places that led me deeper into the dark.
And then I wondered why I always felt empty.

When I began my journey of recovery, I had to reevaluate everything—starting with where I spent my time, attention, and heart. I was building a new life, one that was rooted in healing. That meant I had to get honest about where my energy had been going, and whether it fit the future I was trying to create.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

Say Yes to What Fills You

But here’s what that shift gave me:
Permission to explore.
Permission to say yes to new things.
Permission to relearn what I actually wanted from my life.

I began investing energy in what inspired me. I sought out supportive friendships, joyful experiences, and moments of growth. I said goodbye to relationships that only existed to keep me small. I stopped chasing validation and started chasing purpose.

That’s what recovery gave me: the ability to choose where I shine my light—and the awareness to know when I’m shining it in the wrong direction.

Energy Is Currency. Spend It Wisely.

I still get it wrong sometimes. I still overextend myself. I still jump in too fast, too hard, too deep. But today, I know how to check in with myself. I know what it feels like to be energized versus drained. And I know when it’s time to pull back, realign, and reinvest my energy where it belongs.

Energy is precious.
It’s your power.
Protect it.
Spend it wisely.
Let it guide you toward the light, not drag you back into the dark.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Where are you spending your energy—and is it worth the cost?

Do you find yourself giving too much to people, places, or things that don’t give back?
What makes you feel depleted? What fills you up?
Are there relationships or obligations you’ve outgrown?
Why do you think you stay? What would it look like to step back?
How can you redirect your energy toward what brings you joy, purpose, and peace?

You are allowed to protect your energy. You are allowed to choose yourself.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re reclaiming your energy and investing it where it matters?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s giving too much of themselves to the wrong things, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder: your energy is sacred. Treat it that way.

Not Everything That Weighs You Down Is Yours To Carry

This week has been heavy.
Not just in the day-to-day busyness, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

And as I took a step back, I asked myself a question I’ve learned to come back to again and again:
Is all of this mine to carry?

The answer?
No.
But that hasn’t stopped me from dragging it around—tight-chested, overwhelmed, and bone-tired.

Like many of us, I juggle a lot every day.
And most of the time, I believe I can handle it all.
Until I can’t.
Until I hit a wall.
And when I do, I don’t always meet myself with grace.
Sometimes, I meet myself with frustration and shame.

Even when I know better, I still find myself slipping into old habits—trying to carry it all.
No one is asking me to.
Help is there if I reach for it.
But there I go, dragging the weight of the world across some invisible finish line I made up in my head.

It’s time to pause.
To take a breath—or a few—and ask myself what I’ve picked up along the way that never belonged to me in the first place.

Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

We Learn to Carry What We Don’t Need

Before recovery, I carried everything.
It never occurred to me that I could set anything down.

The emotional weight.
The resentment.
The guilt.
The responsibility for people and problems that were never mine to begin with.

I just kept going—until I couldn’t.

Eventually, I hit a wall.
Hard.
And that wall was the wake-up call I needed.
I couldn’t live that way anymore.
It was slowly destroying me.

So I asked for help.
Not just with what I was carrying—but with how I lived.

Learning to Let Go of What’s Not Yours

Through recovery, I discovered something profound:
A lot of what I was carrying wasn’t mine.

Some of it was inherited—passed down through family, expectations, trauma.
Some of it I volunteered to carry—because I wanted to feel helpful, needed, or in control.

And some of it… I carried on purpose to sabotage myself.
To stay small.
To stay exhausted.
To prove that I couldn’t do more, be more, live more.

That’s the hard truth.
Sometimes, we don’t just carry what’s not ours—we choose it.

But once I got honest with myself, I realized I had a choice.
To let go.
To say no.
To only carry what actually belonged to me.

And that changed everything.

What’s Yours—and What’s Not

There will always be people who would gladly let you carry their weight.
There will be moments when you try to carry someone else’s pain, fear, or responsibility—uninvited.

But that doesn’t mean you have to.

Being helpful doesn’t mean taking on someone else’s journey.
Being strong doesn’t mean carrying more than you should.
Being loving doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.

We are responsible for ourselves.
For our peace.
For honoring what we need.

That starts with putting down what was never yours to carry in the first place.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Carrying?

Do you tend to carry more weight than you need to—physically, emotionally, or mentally?
What does that weight feel like?
What are you carrying that doesn’t actually belong to you?
Who gave it to you—and why did you accept it?
Are there responsibilities, emotions, or expectations you’ve taken on to feel valuable or in control?
How are they serving you? How are they hurting you?
What would it feel like to put that weight down—even just a little?
What would change?
What can you do today to lighten your load and honor your limits?
Where can you say no, ask for help, or simply rest?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one burden you’ve been carrying that isn’t actually yours—and how are you learning to let it go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s overwhelmed by weight they were never meant to carry, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Don’t Need A New Day To Start

We love to wait for Mondays, fresh starts, or even January 1st. But here’s the thing:

You don’t need a new day to start. You just need a new moment.

Back when I was sick, I would talk myself out of the very things that would help me feel better. I set rules and parameters for when change could begin: it had to be Monday, or the first of the month, or it had to happen first thing in the morning. If I didn’t start exactly the way I imagined, I would convince myself the whole day or week was ruined.

So I waited.

I waited for the right conditions, the right mindset, the right time. I raised the bar high enough to make sure I couldn’t reach it—so I didn’t have to try.

But what I didn’t realize then was this:

Waiting to be perfect was just another form of self-sabotage.

And I was the one building the prison around me—and holding the key.

The Shift: Start Where You Are

When I hit bottom—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—I couldn’t wait for another Monday. I didn’t have that kind of time.

So I started right then. That moment.

I got honest with myself. I told the truth out loud. I reached out for help and made myself accountable. That decision became a line in the sand.

It wasn’t smooth. It wasn’t pretty. But it was real. And that was enough.

I had to shift my mindset from “all or nothing” to “learn and move forward.” If I slipped, I didn’t have to wait for a clean slate tomorrow—I was the clean slate. I could start again in that same breath, with that same heart, right where I was.

The Gift of Failing Forward

Failure wasn’t the enemy. It was part of the process.

Your setbacks don’t have to send you all the way back.

They can become the stepping stones forward.

We are meant to fall. We are meant to get back up. It’s in those stumbles that we build strength, perspective, and resilience. If we can acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and keep going—that’s growth.

And that’s what recovery taught me:

Every moment is a moment you can begin again.