Overthinking Overtalking

There is so much power in a pause. Not only from our mouth, but also our minds. Before walking this path I was always thinking and talking too much. Worried I wasn’t going to get what I wanted, or I was going to lose what I had, my mind and mouth was always going, partly because I was trying to control the people, places and things around me, trying to control the uncontrollable. I also didn’t trust myself, and that I was enough or had done enough, and as a result my overthinking and overtalking would kick in, exhausting me and only causing my mind to spin out of control trying to figure out every possible angle and approach to something. I had to learn to trust myself, and the footwork I had done, and that I, and it, was enough.

Reaching that point took a lot of work. I realized when I stepped onto this path that I didn’t trust myself and didn’t think I was really enough in any way that counted, so to counter that, I would overthink and overtalk to appear that I was prepared and had something of value to add. But all it did, aside from driving myself crazy, was close myself off from the world. I was so determined to think and talk my way through life that I wasn’t listening, observing, and just plain being in the moment, it’s in those times that we learn and take in the most, but, not knowing how to calm my mind I let it, and my mouth, run wild, thinking I had to hit the mark at some point if I just kept shooting in the general direction. I wasted a lot of energy shooting in the dark.

Learning to love myself, to accept that I was enough, just as I was, it became less important to prove that to people. I knew I was enough and that was enough. I learned to slow down, by breathing, pausing and listening, it’s amazing what we learn when we listen, and are open to not knowing everything. I made a commitment to myself to say yes to new things, to learn what I truly liked, instead of just assuming so or condemning something prior to investigation. Once I opened myself up I began to learn a lot, and realized how little I did know. The answers, it turns out, tend to be in those quiet spaces, those moments when we stop, find some peace and just be. Those are when most of the answers come for me, not when I’m running my mouth or mind, or, assuming I already know the answer. And finding that place of quiet took some time, and some trust. I had always felt I had a good intuition, so starting from that place I asked myself what I thought that was and began to connect with that place. I actively worked on that connection daily, and still do, and when I am not sure of the next right thing, I go there to look and listen for the answers that may come. They don’t always come in the time frame I would like, but they do when they are meant to. I’ve also found writing to be a wonderful source of answers, I am always amazed at what comes out when I just sit and write how I feel, there is magic in our thoughts when they are written down or typed out, they begin to form answers right before our eyes.

Today, there are many times I am quiet, not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I know there might be something better if I just allow myself to listen for it. And, when I know I’ve done what I can, I let it go and let it unfold as it is meant to, not getting in the way, or continuing to do the work I’ve already done thinking I can somehow force it into being, I have learned the hard way that I cannot.

Allow yourself to listen and find the answers, none of us knows everything, and you may be amazed at what is right in front of you, showing you the way. Allow some room for exploration, for humility and for direction, you may be amazed at what you find if you get out of the way and let it in. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you overthink and overtalk? How do you do this? Why do you do this? Have always done this? If not, what changed? How does it harm you? What can you do today to find some quiet time and just listen? What can you do to stop yourself from overthinking or overtalking and trust the answers will come if we’ve done the work? Have the answers come to you when you’ve paused in the past? Write down an example. When we let go and listen we give the answers space to come in.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

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