Self Help

Sometimes All Someone Wants To Hear Is, I’m Sorry

There are moments when nothing can be done—when there’s no way to fix a situation or make it better. And in those moments, sometimes all someone wants to hear is, “I’m sorry.” Even if we’re not responsible for what happened, acknowledging someone’s experience can mean the world.

A Simple Yet Powerful Gesture

I think back to my life before walking this path, and how much it would have meant to hear those words. The power of a heartfelt “I’m sorry” is incredible. It connects us, makes us feel seen and valued, and reminds us that our feelings matter.

I remember sharing my story with someone I trusted, and when she gently put her hand on mine and said, “I’m sorry,” it felt like a wave of warmth washed over me. She had nothing to do with the events that led me to that moment, but her simple words were the first real validation of my pain and struggle. It helped me exhale. It helped me start to let go.

Owning Our Part

When we do have something to apologize for, those words carry even more weight. Saying “I’m sorry” for something we did—whether intentionally or not—shows strength. It honors the other person and ourselves. It’s not about weakness or surrender, but about standing in our truth and striving to be better.

As SLAYERS, we’re constantly working on ourselves. Yes, we’ll slip. Yes, we’ll make mistakes. But admitting our wrongs and saying, “I’m sorry,” can mend broken relationships and open the door to healing.

A Path to Healing

There’s magic in those words. “I’m sorry” can be the start of a new chapter, whether it’s in a relationship scarred by past pain or for someone still carrying the weight of old wounds. Sometimes, the apology won’t come from the person who caused the hurt. But when it comes from someone who cares—someone willing to listen and extend compassion—it still holds power. It’s a first step toward healing.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you struggle to say “I’m sorry”? Why?

  • What do you think it says about you if you apologize?

  • Have you ever seen “I’m sorry” as a sign of weakness? Can you shift that perspective?

  • Do you appreciate hearing someone say they’re sorry, even if they weren’t directly involved? How does it make you feel?

  • Do you offer that same compassion to others when they’re hurting? Why or why not?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
When was the last time you heard—or said—“I’m sorry”? How did it change the moment?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s build each other up with honesty and compassion.

And if you know someone who’s been holding on to pain, send this to them.
Sometimes, just hearing those words is a step toward healing.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Do the work. Be the prize.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Happy Ending

You Can’t Stay Clean On Yesterday’s Shower

It’s easy to think that once we’ve made progress—once we’ve found a bit of peace, clarity, or healing—we’re done. But recovery, self-care, and growth don’t work that way.

I’ve learned that the girl who nearly slipped away, who thought she was less-than, who let fear and shame rule her life—she’s still a part of me. And it’s my job every day to keep her safe.

Why Consistency Matters

When I hit my bottom, I was desperate enough to work hard for my life. I was all in—committed, determined, willing to do whatever it took. And as things started to improve, as I built a life I was proud of, I kept working.

But then, when life got good, it was tempting to coast. To think I could take a break, let things slide, ease up a little. But that’s when we’re most vulnerable. The fuel that kept us moving forward eventually runs out if we don’t refill it.

We can’t rely on yesterday’s efforts to carry us through today. Just like we can’t stay clean on yesterday’s shower.

Staying Honest With Ourselves

Do we need to work on ourselves every day? Yes. Some days require more effort than others, but we always need to be honest about where we are—about the thoughts we’re entertaining, the behaviors we’re slipping into, and the ways we’re nurturing (or neglecting) ourselves.

When we stop doing the work, the old patterns start sneaking back in. The negative self-talk committee finds new ways to chip away at our progress. Staying in the light requires continuous action.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about commitment. To ourselves. To the journey. To the light.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you back off your self-care when things feel good?
What signs tell you that you’re slipping into old habits?
What can you do today to reset and refocus?
Are you overwhelmed by the thought of doing the work every day? Why?
What small steps can you take to keep your light burning?
Self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts—honoring who we are, staying true to our path, and refusing to let our inner flame go out. Stay vigilant, stay present, and keep moving forward.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
How do you keep yourself in the light when life gets busy? What tools or practices help you stay on track?
Share your story in the comments and let’s support each other as we fight the good fight.
And if you know someone who’s struggling to stay in the light, send this their way. Let’s keep the flame burning for all of us.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Don’t downgrade your dreams just to fit into your reality, upgrade your dreams to fit your destiny!

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Dreams 1

Sometimes You Have To Unfollow Your Old Dreams To Chase New Ones

We grow up with hopes and dreams of what we would like our lives to look like. Some change as we grow but some we stick on to, hold onto like a life raft in the ocean. We have put so much time into crafting some dreams, and have worked so hard to lay the groundwork that we may not even see that that dream may not work for us anymore, or is no longer viable. Instead of reassessing our choices, we dig in, trying to make it happen by force. Nothing good happens by force. If something isn’t happening, even after putting in countless attempts and hours into it, you may be following the wrong dream, or have limited yourself for it to only look one way. You may have already found it, but because you are hard set on it being one thing, you don’t see it and you continue to work towards something that is not meant for you. Sometimes you have to unfollow your dreams to chase new ones.

In our lives we’re constantly growing, or we should be, challenging ourselves, doing new things with new people, we’re getting new information, educating ourselves, so it is completely rational that our dreams change over time, as we do. There are definitely big picture dreams that we work to attain, but even those can change as we settle into who we are and what is best for us today. The trick is to recognize those things and not get stuck in the dreams of our past.

Before stepping on this path I thought that things had to look a certain way or I couldn’t be happy. And, with that mindset, I wouldn’t have been happy if they looked any different than how I had imagined them. But those ideas were based on when I was young, and I had an idealized view of what life should look like, or what I wanted it to, so why did I think that those same dreams still hold up today? I had to be open to new things, to new experiences, to letting go of old ideas and dreams so I could be open to what else was out there. I’ve lived a lot of life from when I set those dreams many years ago, and my ideas were fabricated with very limited information compared to what I have now. So why would I want to limit my dreams by using old information?

Well, for one, at the beginning of this journey, I was still scared to let go. I felt that I had to control everything, or at least try, and if I didn’t everything would just fall apart. I had to recognize that everything had fallen apart with me hanging on, so, perhaps that thinking and action wasn’t working in my best interest. It was hard to release the past, to be OK with being open to what is and what could be. I felt like I was floating in an abyss. But while I let myself float, new dreams emerged. I discovered things I had never let myself be open to before, and consequently I learned new things, and that opened up my vision of what my dreams were for myself.

My dreams today have changed, although there are some that have still stayed with me, but I have let go of the parameters I had once set on them, and let them be as they are meant to be, allowing them to look the way they are supposed to, not with some naive childlike rigid guidelines that I used to place on them. Check-in with your dreams, and yourself, and see if those dreams you’ve held on to are actually holding you back. See if you need to unfollow some of your dreams to chase new ones, because you have outgrown them. Let yourself dream in the now, not the way you thought it was supposed to be. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think you’ve held on to old dreams that no longer serve you, or are no longer valid? Which dreams fall into this category? Why do you think you’ve held on to them? Do you feel that you should let them go? If yes, why? If no, why? Do you think that if you are able to let go of some of your old dreams you might find new ones that are better for you today? Do you place expectations on them to only look a certain way? Do you see how that can get in your way? What if you let go SLAYER, and trusted you are being guided to where you’re supposed to be, what if you were open to new things, do you see how maybe you might receive a set of new dreams, dreams that are more fitting with who you are today? I challenge you SLAYER, to write down your dreams, and make sure that they represent who you are today, if they don’t, unfollow them, and make room for some updated dreams that you can chase, and perhaps, just might make you forget those old dreams altogether.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away, it usually does the opposite, the longer you neglect something, the bigger it becomes. Things are only as big as we give them power to be, tackle them early, and they stay right-sized.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Problems

Ignoring The Facts Doesn’t Make Them Go Away

You can’t pretend the facts don’t exist.
You may ignore them, twist them, or bury them deep—but they don’t vanish.

When we avoid truth—because it’s too painful, too inconvenient, or too scary—we don’t protect ourselves. We injure ourselves.

Truth, no matter how sharp, is the foundation for growth. Without grounding in what is, we drift into fiction, stories, and confusion.

The Temptation to Deny

Feelings are persuasive. Our minds can convince us “this isn’t happening,” “that person didn’t mean it,” or “I’ll worry tomorrow.”

I used to be a master at it. I saw only what I wanted to see to preserve my story. Over time, I blurred the line between fact and fantasy until I couldn’t tell the difference.

But ignoring the truth doesn’t erase it—it delays the consequences. The costs only build: regret, confusion, broken relationships, self-betrayal.

Avoidance is a short-term refuge with long-term bankruptcy.

When Facts Feel Too Heavy to Hold

Sometimes the facts we need to face are terrifying.

  • “This relationship is toxic.”

  • “I’m not being honest with myself.”

  • “I’ve been settling.”

The pull to deny them is real. It’s easier to live in a comfortable lie than wrestle with the weight of truth.

But the irony is this: truth brings liberation. Even when it hurts, it frees you from the prison of your own illusions.

What the Facts Give You

When you embrace reality—even the parts you don’t like—you gain:

  • Clarity. You see what’s actually happening, not what you fear is happening.

  • Authority. You can act from truth, not fear.

  • Power. You no longer cede control to illusions or assumptions.

  • Growth. You move forward with integrity instead of spinning in confusion.

Facts aren’t magic. They don’t always heal instantly. But they give you the platform to heal intentionally.

How to Face the Facts

It takes courage—and consistency. But here’s how you begin:

  1. Ask yourself: What do I know to be true?
    In moments of chaos, pause. What fact can you anchor to—no matter how small?

  2. Stop arguing with evidence.
    When you catch yourself resisting what’s clear, name it: “I’m fighting the facts because I’m scared.”

  3. Document what you see.
    Journaling, voice notes, voice memos—let the truth come out in the light.

  4. Let the facts guide action.
    Knowing something is true isn’t passive. Use it to make decisions, to set boundaries, to course-correct.

  5. Practice radical acceptance.
    Acceptance doesn’t mean liking what is. It means not wasting your energy resisting it. Use your focus for forward motion.

Truth in the Toolbox

I now carry “facts” in my SLAY toolbox—tools I use daily.
They help me discern between inner drama and real problems.
They help me take responsibility where I need it, and release what isn’t mine.
They help me walk confidently in my life, not guided by fear.

Yes, sometimes facts will cut deep. But you’re meant to walk through the fire—not be burned by it.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What facts in your life are you avoiding or denying?

  2. How has ignoring them hurt you—emotionally, mentally, relationally?

  3. What’s one small truth you can own today (even if it feels scary)?

  4. How might your life shift if you stopped arguing with evidence?

  5. What action can you take now based on what is, not what you wish it were?

S – Stop ignoring what you already know
L – Let truth, not fear, be your guide
A – Act from what you see, not what you imagine
Y – Yield to integrity—let your life be shaped by real facts

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one fact you’ve been avoiding—and how could facing it change your life?
Share your reflection in the comments. Let’s grow together in honesty.

And if you know someone who’s trapped by denial or stories, send this to them.
Sometimes, truth is the first arrow we need to slay illusions.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! One of the most sincerest forms of love and respect is listening to what another has to say.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Listens

Listening Is Loving

Everyone wants to be heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give someone is to listen to them. Listening to someone is an act of love. And practicing that gift is also a gift to yourself.

It was a gift I had to learn. Before this journey I, many times, wouldn’t listen, not truly, I had already made up my mind, or thought I was smarter than you, or, just didn’t care because you weren’t useful to me, as ugly as sounds, that was the truth. I wasn’t going to sit and listen to someone and not get something in return. With that mindset, I’m sure I missed many opportunities to learn something or to form a closer bond with someone already in my life. It’s giving someone the utmost respect, to listen, you’re saying that their opinion, or feelings, or situation, matters, and sometimes all someone wants to hear is that you’re willing to listen.

The act of listening takes patience, probably one of the main reasons I was so horrible at listening years ago, I was as impatient as they get, listening allows the other person to step into the spotlight, to have their moment to share, without interruptions, see, that’s the key component to listening, you don’t interrupt, or bud in while the other person is still speaking, so it trains us, to be patient, while we listen. It shows a great deal of humility to set aside our own wants and needs for a moment to let someone else express theirs. It allows the other person to step into the spotlight, to give them the moment to take center stage and talk about what is going on for them. And, hopefully they will return the gesture and give you the same gift. In fact, that is something I pay attention to, it’s great to be there for others and listen to them, but they should also ask what’s going on for you, and listen to you if you need to share. One-sided relationships, with only one person ever listening, is not a healthy relationship, I’ve talked about this in the past with the blog, Emotional Vampires: They’ve Come To Suck Your Life. Listening should always be a two-way street.

It also sets that standard for your relationships, it connects you to others, and if you let it, helps you learn from what is shared and possibly apply that new information to your own life. Yeah, there is always a reason why someone asks us to listen, or we’re drawn to ask someone to share with us, we may not know why at the time, but, the reason usually reveals itself.

So how is listening a loving act? It shows you care, that you’re interested, and that you are willing to set your own problems or issues aside for a moment to listen to theirs, because, you care. It costs nothing, but your time, and it could be priceless for someone else to have you as a sounding board and have your attention for a time. It’s also loving to yourself because you are honoring a friendship and the principles you stand for by giving your time to someone else while they share with you. It helps with your self-esteem, with your compassion for others, and with as I mentioned, building your patience.

Never under-estimate the power listening to someone, it is a gift that not only is given to the other person, but to you as well. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have a difficult time sitting and listening to someone else? Why? Do you enjoy it when someone takes the time to listen to you? Why do you enjoy that? So, using the reasons that you enjoy being listened to, can you apply those to the other people in your life and understand why they would appreciate being listened to as well? When you have listened to people in the past, how did that make you feel? What new information did you learn? And, how, if any, many ways were you able to apply that to your own life? Do you see how listening to someone is a loving act? Why do you think you struggle with it? I challenge you SLAYER, to call someone this week and instead of talking about your life, ask them how they are and what’s going on, and as the they do, stay quiet, and listen, you may just learn something new.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! No excuse is good enough to not do what’s best for you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Way