Mental Health

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Fact: If you smile, even if you’re in a bad mood it will immediately change your mood.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Your Attitude

You Set The Tone To How You Want To Feel

When I stepped onto this path, I was told, “You can just decide to have a good day, and it will happen.” I thought that was ridiculous. Clearly, these people didn’t understand how bad my life was or what a piece of crap I thought I was. But they insisted—and over time, I realized they were right.

At the start, my mind was rarely positive. I had to practice focusing on the good. I began writing down the things I was grateful for—sometimes only one thing, but it still counted. I’d carry that piece of paper in my pocket, and when the shadows crept in, I’d take it out and read it aloud. Just that simple act would bring some light back.

As I got better at it, my mind cleared, and the list of good things grew—as did the light and positivity in my life.

Building a Solid Foundation

To feel good, I had to do good things for myself. Self-care wasn’t just a buzzword—it became a necessity. For me, that meant:

  • Getting enough sleep

  • Eating well

  • Moving my body in some way

  • Connecting with my spiritual side

These were the key ingredients that gave me the best shot at having a good day.

And here’s a secret I learned: even if the day took a turn for the dark, I could still infuse it with light and turn it around. We’re not victims of our thoughts or feelings—unless we choose to be.

Staying Present in Uncertainty

During times of uncertainty, feelings can creep in and derail our day if we let them. It’s crucial to stay connected to what we’re feeling and why. Many times, those feelings point to something we’re holding onto from the past.

Setting an intention for positivity—of staying present and in the moment—cuts those ties to the past. If our mind drifts back, we can acknowledge it without letting it take over.

We set the tone for our day, SLAYER, so let’s make sure we’re setting a good one.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you feel like you’re bullied by your own feelings and thoughts?

  • Do you set an intention for your day?

  • When you do, are you able to hold onto it? If not, what pulls you away?

  • What kind of intention do you set?

  • Can you work harder on setting a positive tone for your day? What steps could you take?

  • How can you pause in the morning and decide to have a positive day?

  • How can you shift back into a positive mindset if negativity creeps in?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one intention you’ll set for yourself tomorrow morning?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to set a positive tone for their day, send this to them.
Sometimes, we all need a little reminder of our power.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you don’t change direction you might end up where you’re headed.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Direction

Which Way Are You Going?

I used to know I was heading the wrong way. My decisions were bad, my ego blocked me from seeking help, and my negative thoughts told me I didn’t deserve any better. I was speeding up a one-way street in the wrong direction, fully aware I’d crash eventually—but I kept going. The rush of challenging life, not really caring what happened, kept me hooked. I burned bridges, damaged relationships, and shredded my sense of self. And then one day, inevitably, I crashed. The signs were always there, growing bolder as I barreled toward destruction. I’m grateful I found the courage to stop before the crash became permanent.

The Path Forward

Stepping onto this new path meant a lot of change. I had to prioritize my mental and physical health and focus my energy on moving in the right direction. Along the way, I noticed the signs—those subtle and not-so-subtle signals telling me I was on track. I paid attention, and when I started to veer off course, I made the necessary changes. Sometimes, I didn’t make them right away, but ignoring them didn’t feel good anymore. That old thrill was gone. It left behind the reality that I was sabotaging my progress, so I learned to get back on track.

We always have a choice. We can either do what’s right for us or make excuses. Every day, I had to make a conscious decision to take the next right action. And when I didn’t, I learned to forgive myself and keep moving. Failing is part of the journey, and it’s often where we learn the most. Starting a new path is scary, but as we tune into the signs and share our truth, we step closer to the freedom of leaving the past behind.

Here’s the thing: we don’t have to ride that old road to the end. The exit is there whenever we’re ready.

Time to Reroute

Now, as many of us are experiencing a slower pace, it’s the perfect moment to reflect. What signs have you missed or chosen to ignore? Are you on the right road, headed in the right direction? This time of pause is the perfect opportunity to take a different route—one that might align better with where your heart wants to go. Ask for guidance, look for the signs, and head toward the light.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you feel like you’re headed down the right road? If not, why do you stay?

  • What direction would you like to see yourself headed?

  • How can you get there?

  • What do you need to do today to make that change?

  • What has stopped you in the past? How can you overcome that?

  • Write an example of something you’ve overcome. How can you use that experience to fuel the changes you need today?

Remember, we all have the power to change. It may not be easy at first, but it’s possible. Trust that the path meant for you will present itself if you keep looking for the signs.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one sign you’re noticing that tells you it’s time for a change?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s encourage and inspire one another.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to find their way, send this to them.
Sometimes, a little nudge in the right direction is all it takes.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There are two ways of spreading light: be the candle or the mirror reflecting it’s light.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Kindness Someone

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Kindness, somebody who brings warmth and value to somebody with no expectation of return.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Kindness

Kindness Is Contagious

Kindness. It’s something we should all be happy to spread around, and it only takes a second. These days, when we’re out in the world, the energy around us is often filled with nervousness, frustration, fear, or just the urge to get back home safely. Amidst all that, we should always remember to be kind.

The Power of a Simple Gesture

We’re all in the same boat. Some are still trying to get essentials and supplies, navigating through aisles, following store arrows, finding empty shelves, or limits on how much they can buy. And if you’re like me, you can feel that energy and begin to take it on as your own. But that’s where kindness comes in—because the antidote to all of that is kindness.

When I focus on being kind, it calms me. It keeps me steady, considerate, and compassionate toward others who are navigating those same aisles, looking for the same things. When a moment presents itself—whether it’s a smile, a thank you, or a small act of service—I see the result in the eyes of the person in front of me. It changes their energy. We all have the power to be kind. And especially now, we should be wielding it like a superpower.

A Shift from Self to Service

When I was living in the dark, I still had that power, but most of the time I chose not to use it. I was focused on what life could give me, what I could take, and how life had let me down. That mindset kept me sick, miserable, and isolated. Sure, there were moments of kindness, but for the most part, I was too wrapped up in myself.

When I began my recovery journey, I was told that a big part of my healing would come from being of service to others. I didn’t believe I had anything to give at first. But I was reminded that I could always be kind. Just focusing on kindness shifted my thinking and lifted my mood as I stepped out each day. Even when I didn’t feel up to it, I was told those were the days I needed to lean into kindness even more.

And they were right.

Even on my darkest days, when I mustered up kindness for someone else, it changed me. It brought light into a dark moment. Kindness is contagious not just for those receiving it—but for us too.

Little Acts, Big Impact

Today, I make a point of looking for those moments of kindness. Even a simple “hello” or “how are you” can shift the energy. Just yesterday at the pharmacy, I asked the man behind the counter how he was. He looked at me, paused, smiled, and said, “I’m fine, and thank you for asking.” His energy lifted. We shared a brief, pleasant exchange, and both of us felt the power of kindness.

Spreading Light in Uncertain Times

It’s easy to rush through life, hyper-focused on the tasks at hand. But let’s not forget the others out there who may be under stress, fear, or anxiety. Let’s take an extra moment to check in, to say thank you to the front-line workers, the grocery clerks, the baristas, the people taking our temperatures. Let them know they are seen and appreciated.

We’re all in this together. Why not spread something good while we’re out there? Let your kindness be a light in an uncertain time.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • When you’re out in the world, do you make a point of being kind?

  • If not, why not?

  • How do you feel when someone says or does something kind for you?

  • How do you feel when you offer kindness to someone else?

  • Have you made an extra effort to be kind lately? If not, why?

  • Has someone been extra kind to you? How did that feel?

That feeling is a gift we can offer to anyone we see—and it’s a gift we’ll get back when we do.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one simple act of kindness you can offer today—big or small?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s lift each other up.

And if you know someone who could use a little kindness, send this to them.
Sometimes, all it takes is a reminder that kindness is powerful.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Low self-esteem is like going through like with a hand-break on.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Popularity

Do You Like Yourself?

I used to say yes. To your face, I’d smile and say, “Of course I do!” But inside, the truth was always no.

From as far back as I can remember, I felt I wasn’t good enough. I thought I was weird, different, and if you knew who I really was, you wouldn’t like me. I set impossible standards for myself, and every time I couldn’t meet them, I’d beat myself up. Over the years, those unrealistic expectations grew bigger—and so did my self-hatred.

I had a constant, negative narrative running in my head, berating myself for not measuring up. My lack of self-love dragged me to darker places, until I stopped caring about my well-being. I took dangerous chances with my life, not because I wanted to die, but because I didn’t care if I lived.

It was only through a friend that I found the courage to reach out for help. That was the beginning of a new path—and the road from self-hatred to self-love was bumpy, messy, and full of stumbles. But it was worth every single one.

Starting with Forgiveness

When I began this journey, I couldn’t even look in the mirror and say, “I love you.” Just thinking about it makes me sad now. But I knew if I was ever going to like myself, I had to start by forgiving myself. And that wasn’t something I could do alone. I worked with a mental health professional and found support in groups of people walking the same path. Their guidance helped me move forward and start believing that I was worth forgiveness.

Gratitude and Giving Back

Gratitude was a key step. In the beginning, it felt nearly impossible, but I was encouraged to start with just one thing each day—one thing I was grateful for, and one thing I liked about myself. Some days I struggled to find even one, but I’d write it down and carry it in my pocket. Whenever I felt discouraged or fearful, I’d take it out and remind myself.

And then there was giving back. Early in my journey, I was shown that we always have something to give, even if we don’t think we do. Simply sharing our truth, asking someone how their day is, or offering a kind word can lift not just them, but also us. No matter how far down we may feel, someone else may feel even lower, and reaching out creates a connection.

Reflection in a Time of Pause

During this time of social distancing and isolation, when the world feels paused, we have an opportunity to ask ourselves: do I like who I am? If not, why? This is the perfect time to explore those feelings and make positive changes. And if we struggle to find things we like about ourselves, it’s okay to ask a trusted friend or family member what they see in us. Sometimes, seeing ourselves through their eyes helps us find the light.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Would you say you like yourself? If not, why not?

  • If you do, what do you like about yourself?

  • Have you always liked yourself? If not, what changed?

  • If you don’t like yourself, was there a time when you did? What changed?

  • What can you do today to find something you like about yourself?

  • What are you grateful for today?

Focus on those things, SLAYER. Challenge yourself to discover more in the days to come. Ask others for their insights. Make sure the reasons you tell yourself don’t keep you stuck in negativity. And if they do, ask why you’re holding onto them. Learn to let them go, or forgive yourself for them. Self-love—or even just self-like—is waiting. Take that first step today.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you like about yourself today?
Share it in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who needs this message, send it to them.
Sometimes, a little reminder is all it takes to start a journey.

SLAY TALK LIVE Video

Hey SLAYER! Thank you to those who joined me today for an hour of SLAY TALK LIVE, for those who couldn’t join us, here’s what you missed!