Good morning SLAYER! The lessons are right in front of us, you just have to be willing to learn.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Author: Carrie Genzel
When You Have The Understanding, You No Longer Need The Experience
Before I started to walk in this path I was often heard saying, “why do these things always happen to me,” I felt like I was in the movie GROUNDHOG DAY, always seeming to find my way in similar places and problems and not understanding how I kept getting there. Well, I kept finding myself in the same situations because I hadn’t grasped the understanding of how I kept getting there, or how to get myself out.
The universe will keep sending us the same people, places and things until we learn what we’re supposed to learn from them. And sometimes, it can send us the same things wrapped in a different package, just to make sure we got it. I’ve found, in my life, that happens with different types of people, they may look different, but the nice package is just wrapping up the same gift, and it’s up to me to get past the pretty wrapping to see that it’s already something I’ve sent back.
In a way, now, I look at the moments when I kept asking why my gift. It was a gift that I recognized the same situations or type of people kept popping into my life, but it was about taking the right action and using that gift to my advantage. Now when it happens, I know right away, and I know what I have to do, because I’ve done it before. Identifying the patterns of life, or our patterns, is where we want to be, because when we notice any kind of negativity popping up, we can do something about it. As I always say, when “bad” things happen, it’s really just information, life is showing us what we’re supposed to see and do, and so when it does, we need to take action in a way that’s loving to ourselves and that honors us.
I’ve found that once I make the change in my behavior, or correct my actions from the past, those situations no longer pop up in my life. It goes back to my blog “Level Up,” we move up to the next level, as it were, because the universe believes we are ready for the next chapter and what’s to come. Sometimes that can be frustrating, like life is always testing us, challenging us, by throwing obstacles in our way, and, making life harder than it needs to be, but, those tests and challenges make us who we are, they give us stamina, strength, and the courage to keep moving forward and challenging ourselves even m ore. It’s those victories that propel us to where we are supposed to go next. It’s those victories that become our foundation from which we can continue to grow.
There is a plan for us, we may not know what it is, and many times, might not understand what path we’re on, but nothing happens in life by mistake, even the mistakes, it’s all designed to get us where we’re supposed to go and be who we’re supposed to be, so the sooner we stop fighting that, fighting for our own way, fighting to have things done when we want them, the sooner life will start to roll out the way it’s supposed to, and the sooner we’ll have piece of mind from not fighting it. It goes back to finding a healthy dose of faith, faith that the universe has your back and wants the best for you, faith that you can handle whatever comes your way, and faith that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Trust the journey SLAYER, let go and look for understanding in the places you find yourself, as soon as you do, you may have earned yourself a way out of having to relive that situation again. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often find yourself in similar situations? Do you feel like you are a victim of these situations? Do you see the patterns of your own decisions or actions that have gotten you there? What can you do to stop yourself from getting there again? What do those patterns teach you? What patterns of your past have you stopped or changed? How did you do that? What patterns would you like to change? How can you start to do that? You can SLAYER, you can choose to look at the people, places and things that you don’t like and change those patterns in your life, you can make different choices, better choices, more loving choices, and, you can say goodbye to those things that no longer serve you.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You never know when your words will impact someone’s life forever. Choose to be a positive impact, choose your words wisely.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Wicked Words
We all remember the phrase from childhood, “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,” well, there are a few variations of that, but it’s meaning, or intention, that words can’t hurt is false. Words, when used as weapons, can hurt deeply, and for many years after, even, sometimes, a lifetime. I remember saying this as a child, puffing up my chest like it was some sort of shield that could deflect the bad names or words and just bounce off me, and from the outside, those doing the name-calling, might have thought they were bouncing off me, but, they weren’t. Those names, those labels, insults, stayed with me for many years, as much as I told myself they weren’t true, I believed them and I let them weigh me down.
The things people say, when they’re meant to hurt, is verbal abuse. As kids things are said on the playground and it’s dismissed as just kids being kids, but it’s that type of behavior, that bully mentality, that sets a precedent, as does shying away from confrontation by the one receiving the insults. It’s hard to break out of being the victim when we are constantly told we are less-than, different, weird, worthless, ugly. Those words do damage, lasting damage, that can affect us for a lifetime if we don’t deal with it.
Ultimately words can only hurt us if we let them. If we don’t believe in what is being said, we will just shrug it off and see it for what it is, someone else who’s feeling less-than trying to pump up their own ego but putting us down. Typically, that’s all that’s going on. Or, someone else showing their fear because we may be threatened them in some way, just by being ourselves. In any case, if someone else has a problem with us, it is their problem, and as much as they will try to put the focus on us, it’s really them who should be in the spotlight for their bad behavior. But, a lot of the time, we take on that burden, believing what is said, or letting it cast a seed of doubt about who we are and if we’re worthy. We are worthy, and going back to the childhood rhyme, we shouldn’t let someone else’s words hurt us, and truthfully they can’t, unless we let them.
This all goes back to self-love, I know, it typically does, but it truly is the foundation of living a healthy and productive life. If we love ourselves and honor ourselves, someone mouthing off and saying a bunch of unflattering things about us that aren’t true isn’t going to hurt us, it may cause us to feel sorry for that person, or find some compassion for them, but we can see, when we don’t take it personally, where those insults are coming from, it’s how they see themselves. When we love ourselves we can see the truth in where the hate or bad behavior is coming from and we can separate ourselves from it, take ourselves out of the equation, because really, we were never really in it in the first place, it was always all about them.
But going to back to times when we were vulnerable to them, it’s time to let them go. It’s time to prove to ourselves that we are not those things, to believe it, to own it, to live our lives as us, not matter what anyone has to say about it. We are only accountable to ourselves, what anyone else thinks is irrelevant, I mean, of course we want people to like us, but it’s not our job to get them to do so if they don’t. Just be you. And when you comfortable just being you, you can work to let those words go from the past, or even present, if someone in your life today tells you you aren’t worthy. When we know who we are, and love who we are, those words can’t hurt us, they can bruise us on a day when we might be feeling sensitive, but we can shake it off, when we love ourselves that is our armor, so sticks, stones, and, any insults hurled our way, will bounce right off of our chest…and hopefully right back at the one who hurled them. A girl can wish anyway. Armor up with self-love SLAYER!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let other people’s opinions of you shape the opinion you have of yourself? Are there things that were said to you as a child still haunt you today? What things? Are these things true SLAYER? Are they true today? They are likely not. So let them go, let them fall away, they are of no use to you. Are there things said to you today that hurt you? Who’s saying them? Why do you let them? Do you believe them? Why? Those words can only hurt you if you believe they are true, they are not. Write down 5 qualities that you love about yourself. Say them out loud. That is who you are SLAYER. Remind yourself of all the good you are, and let someone else’s opinion remain that way, someone else’s. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Let go of your hurt. Give yourself permission to feel, to grieve, to feel angry, but then exhale, and learn to let it go. Nothing from our past should have power over us today.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Talk Live Video
Hello SLAYER! Weren’t able to join us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE?
No problem, here’s what you missed!
SLAY on!
I’m Going Live In 2 Minutes
I am going LIVE in 2 minutes, join me for SLAY TALK LIVE by clicking the link!
Does Happy Hurt Your Hurt?
We all have the choice to be happy, to find the good in any situation, or at least something to take away from it, to learn, to not dwell in the negative but strive to find happiness, even in situations that didn’t favor us, or turn out the way we would have wanted. Happiness is always a choice. But, have we put so much time into our hurt that happiness hurts our hurt? Are we not willing to let our hurt go? Has it become our identity, who we are, something we wear like a badge of honor? There are those of us out there that it is.
For me I used to wear my hurt like a dark cloak, I used it to hide behind and I used to protect me from more hurt, or so I thought. What it did was keep me in the darkness, and it kept me isolated from people, and when I wasn’t connecting with the people in my life I was left with only listening to the lies my head was telling me and I sank deeper into my hurt. I put a lot of time into that hurt, many years of work had gone into it, so when I made the choice to get better and live in the light, it was hard to say goodbye to it. It was a place that felt safe to me, even though I knew it was killing me. I knew that place, I thought I deserved that place, and I knew no one else could come into that place and find me. When I was finally able to reach out for help, when I began to share my hurt with those around me, I realized that there were many people who shared similar hurts, who were living in similar places, and were fighting similar battles, I wasn’t alone, but, was I ready to shed my hurt?
My hurt had become my identity, and I used to it to my advantage when I thought I could. I used it to manipulate, to gain sympathy, to lower people’s expectations of me so that I could disengage in life, but also still get what I wanted. I was a walking contradiction most of the time, I thought I was a piece of crap who deserved only bad things, but I also thought I was better than you. So essentially, the most unique, most incredible piece of crap you were every going to meet. Think about that. And try imagine living in that space. Some of you know that space. It was pure torture. Torture I was administrating to myself.
When I stepped on this path, I’ve said this before, I outed myself to everyone in my life. I called them and told them everything I had been doing and I explained to them what I was planning to do to get better. It was scary, I didn’t know how people were going to react, but my life depended on me lifting back the curtain and sharing my truth. What did happen was an outpouring of love and support. Of understanding. Of friends sharing their stories with me, stories I had never heard because I had never bothered to ask. I realized that we all have hurt, but it’s what we decide to do with it that sets us apart.
Our hurt is not who we are. It’s not the best of us. We all deserve to be happy, or find our happy, and know that that looks different for everyone. And yes, our happy will hurt our hurt, and it should, because our hurt is hurting us. In some cases, killing us, it was killing me. Let the happy in, or find it, look for it, and let it kill your hurt, let it die, it’s not who you are, not at your best. Your hurt is from the past, it is not your present unless you let it be, you have the power to stop it. Find your light, shine bright, and let it take away all the shadows and darkness in your life, let your hurt go, because when you do, there’s a whole beautiful world waiting for you on the other side, I know, because I’m there right now. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let your hurt define you? Are you afraid to let it go? What frightens you? When you think of yourself, what do you think about? How would you describe yourself? How would you like to describe yourself? Why can’t you? What actions can you take so that you are able to describe yourself that way? What can you do this week to allow more light into your life and let go of your hurt? Do it SLAYER, let it go, and let your true self shine for all of us to see, nothing is worth dimming your light, especially those things from our past we cannot change. Live for today, live in this moment, and live for yourself. Choose to be happy. Choose to be you. Choose to be bright.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Never let anyone convince you that you aren’t worthy of love, respect and happiness. You are.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
If You Show Up As Yourself, You Are Worthy
I was just sharing this the other day, that years ago, when I was experiencing a lot of success in my career, I never allowed myself to truly enjoy it because I didn’t think I was worthy of it. Not that I didn’t have the skills, not that I wasn’t working hard enough, and it wasn’t that I hadn’t earned my place, but deep down I thought of myself as less-than and a fraud, so I was always worried the other shoe was going to drop, that I was going to be found out and everything I had worked for was going to be taken away. When I think about who I was then, those thoughts that used to run around in my head, those thoughts I believed, it makes me sad, and truthfully, sometimes, on a bad day, those thoughts do come back, but I know now that anytime I show up as my authentic self, I am worthy, I am worthy of anything and everything.
It takes a lot of guts to show up as ourselves sometimes. To say, hey, this is me, this is who I am, and not worry what people think of us, not let someone else’s opinion change who we really are, or what we’re capable of. For me, it took a lot of work to get to that place, to unravel that self-doubt, self-hatred, and the self-destructive actions of my past, but it’s possible to do it, and the result of that work outweighs any work it may take. You see, the secret is that when we are ourselves that is when we shine, that is when magic happens, when we share our true selves and our true passion to those around us, when we share the true us, we let people see the beauty in us. and no matter what comes from that, you are worthy, you are great, you are special, and no one can take that away from you. People are entitled to opinions, and everyone has one, but if you are true to yourself, one person’s opinion doesn’t matter, you let out everything you got, everything that makes you you, that is the bravest act we can take.
For me, from a young age I was always afraid to let people see the real me. I hide behind who I thought you wanted me to be, and every time I did that a little part of the real me died, it was like a confirmation to myself that I wasn’t good enough, and that if people got to see the real me that they wouldn’t like me. I got so good at it, well, I made it a career, but I lost sight of who I truly was, I had stuffed it down so far, under so much junk, that it lay there, like garbage that I trampled all over. When I finally found the courage to ask for help, to find out who I truly was, it scared me, because I realized I didn’t know. But I found a way to make it exciting. I was going to find out for, probably, the first time in my life. I was actually going to get to know the real me. It wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns, I had to address some bad behaviors and habits, things I had accumulated over the years as a way, or so I thought, to protect myself, I had hurt some people, I had lied to some people, and most importantly, I had done damage to myself. But at the core of who I found was someone I was proud of, someone who made me laugh, someone I could cheer on, someone, I learned to love.
Now I don’t worry about what others think of me, as long as what I am and who I am is authentically me. Me, showing up, and sharing my truth, my talent, my heart makes me worthy, as it does you, and only you can allow yourself to feel that worthiness, no one else can truly give that to you, not so you feel it in your center, only you can do that for yourself.
If you are struggling today with who you are, go on a finding expedition and figure it out. Put on your SLAYER detective hat and get to work on figuring out the greatest mystery of them all, who you truly are. Once you have, never apologize for what you find, for what makes you you, and for being proud of that. If you stand up as just yourself, that is more worth more than anything someone can give you, you are worthy. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: When you think of yourself do you feel you are worthy of the things you would like for yourself? Do you think you deserve good things? If not, why not? When you have accomplished something do you allow yourself to celebrate you and what you’ve done? If not, why not? Is there something or someone in your past that has told you, or showed you, that you are not worthy? Write down that incident or incidents. Have you told yourself that you are not worthy? Why do you feel this way? Whatever has happened in your past, you are not what’s happened to you, you are here today, and today you have the choice to start a new way of thinking, a new direction, a new life. Let go of what has been holding you back, what has been telling you lies, and take a step on a path of self-love and worthiness. Your foot may be a little shaky at first, but if you keep trudging forward, soon you’ll be walking tall and inspiring those around you.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
