Before walking this path the only emotion I ever expressed was anger. Anything else I stuffed down, covered up or numbed out. And usually that anger was really a smokescreen for getting caught doing something I shouldn’t have been doing, for being caught in a lie or not getting my own way. Of course, there were those times too when I wanted to paint myself as a victim and would express anger around all the “bad” things being “done” to me. Now a big part of my job is to express emotions, and that was the only time I would tap into my feelings and let them out, it was my only release because in life there was none of that, just a smile and an “I’m fine” when really things hadn’t been fine in years.
I thought that you didn’t want to hear about my problems. I thought if I shared them you would stop talking to me, because, you had your own problems, so why would you want to hear about mine. I thought, sharing my emotions was a burden to the other person and an inconvenience. I also thought, if I shared my emotions not only would that make me weak, but it would show you my weaknesses and those who wanted to could use them against me. My thinking was off in those days.
It was and is through my recovery that I have learned that sharing my emotions and expressing myself is a strength. Not only do I get stronger as I live in my truth, but my truth may also help someone else find their strength. Even my darkest deepest secrets, those things I thought made me unlovable, even those, when said out loud give me strength. You see, when you share your truth, those things we think are unforgivable, those secrets from our past, those things we don’t like about ourselves, they lose their power over us when we say them out loud. And, most times, the person you tell them to will relate to what we’re saying, so not only are you taking your power back you are strengthening a friendship or relationship with someone who is like yourself.
We’ve all had things we’re afraid to share, or embarrassed to tell someone, but by keeping them a secret they may be what is standing in your way of your own freedom and well-being. They may also keep you isolated and away from those who love and care about you and may be able to offer you some help. No one benefits from us ignoring our emotions and saying we’re fine when we’re not, it is through our truth that we build our strength and when we share we open ourselves up to learning from our experience and give ourselves an opportunity to grow.
The more I shared the healthier I became, and the more my support system grew. We all walk this road together, and we all have much more in common than not, so when we share ourselves we not only tell ourselves we’re OK, we also giving someone else permission to be OK with themselves as well. It is just as important, and perhaps even more so, to share when things aren’t good than when they are. I know for me, when my journey was just beginning, I needed to hear that others where having a challenging day on those days I was, otherwise I may have given up thinking I was doing it wrong, or there was no hope for me, so sharing your truth, good, or bad, is important.
Find your strength in sharing your emotions. Stand tall in your truth and allow yourself to feel without fear of being perceived flawed or wrong, the only wrong is to not share who you really are. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to hide your emotions or share them freely? If you hide, why do you not share? What are you afraid of? Have you had bad experiences in the past with sharing your emotions? What were they? How can you share your emotions differently in the future to perhaps experience a different result? What are you most afraid to share? Why? What if you found one person to share that with this week? What do you think might happen? I challenge you SLAYER, to share it. Find your strength in sharing how you truly feel and allow yourself to walk through your emotions, letting them go, instead of letting them shackle you to them.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you