Good morning SLAYER! The waters may be rough, but it’s our choice whether we succumb to the waves or learn to surf.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
State Of Slay
How Does This Make Us Better?
Every challenge carries a choice. It can break us—or it can shape us.
Some of the hardest moments in my life are also the ones that changed me the most. Even the night I nearly lost my life—by all accounts, a night I shouldn’t have survived—eventually became a turning point. That experience didn’t just shake me, it redefined me. Not instantly, and not without pain, but over time, it became the spark for something more.
At first, I didn’t feel lucky to be alive. I felt guilty. I questioned whether my life was worth saving. What had I done to deserve another chance? Was I doing enough with the life I had?
But as I worked through the survivor’s guilt, something shifted. I began to see the opportunity in front of me—not just to live, but to give back. To take stock of my life. To use my pain for purpose.
And that’s what ultimately inspired me to create this blog—to take the hardest parts of my journey and turn them into a light for someone else.
The Darkness Doesn’t Last Forever
When you’re in the middle of it—whatever it is—it’s hard to imagine things getting better.
I remember thinking the darkness was permanent. That I’d never see light again. I hid. I shut down. I told myself if I admitted how bad things were, people would think I was broken.
But that wasn’t true.
The truth is, it took someone else shining their light to help me find my own. One person shared their story. One person reached out. And that small gesture gave me just enough hope to believe that maybe—just maybe—things could change.
Fighting my way out took honesty, stamina, and support. And I didn’t do it alone. I still don’t. Fourteen years later, I still lean on the people in my corner. Because healing isn’t a one-time event—it’s a daily choice.
Turn the Pain Into Purpose
As I began to untangle my past, I started to see how it could be used for good.
The darkness I had once resented became a foundation for something bigger. A way to connect with others. A way to offer hope. A way to create change.
The truth is, we don’t just “get through” hard things. We grow through them.
Every difficult season gave me a tool—resilience, compassion, boundaries, forgiveness. And with each tool, life became a little more manageable.
I’ve learned to ask for help. I’ve learned how to stay in the light. And I’ve learned that even when I don’t have the answers, I can reach out to someone who does.
None of this happened in isolation. And it wasn’t meant to. We’re not built to walk this path alone.
We’re Always in This Together
There’s a hashtag I see a lot: #WereInThisTogether. And while it’s been used to describe difficult global seasons, the truth is—it applies to all of life.
We are always in this together.
It’s easy to forget that when things are going well. But in moments of pain, we remember: we need each other.
And when we remember that, we grow stronger—not just as individuals, but as a collective.
When we rise, we lift others with us.
When we heal, we make space for others to do the same.
Choosing to Come Out Better
Right now, we all have a little more time to think. Life has slowed down, and in the pause, there’s a chance to reflect.
So here’s a question worth asking: How does this make me better?
Not how does this break me—but how can I use this to grow?
How can I take this struggle, this shift, this pause—and turn it into purpose?
That’s where real transformation happens. In the questions. In the actions. In the moments we choose light over darkness, connection over isolation, growth over fear.
We all have room to grow. We all have ways to get better. The choice is ours—every single day.
So what will you choose today?
SLAY Reflection
Take a moment, SLAYER, and reflect:
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S: Have difficult times in your life led to personal growth? What did you learn?
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L: Are there past challenges you now see as defining moments? What shifted?
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A: What can you take from your current season and use to grow or help someone else?
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Y: What’s one positive change you can commit to today that will lead you closer to your best self?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What lessons have you taken from your darkest moments, and how did they shape who you are today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s still in the dark, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! One reason people resist pain is because they focus on what they have to give up, not what they’re going to gain.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Pain is real, but so is hope.
SLAY on!
Is The Pain Of Change Greater Than The Pain Of Staying The Same?
Lately, with more free time at home, many of us are noticing those areas of our lives that might need some attention. With fewer distractions from the outside world, those lingering issues—things we were able to push aside before—are now front and center. It’s like life has paused just long enough for us to see what we’ve been avoiding.
For so long, I was a master at avoiding change. I could dig my heels in so deeply that I almost got stuck in place. Fear, low self-esteem, and shame had me convinced that if I ignored the signs, they would just fade away. But of course, they didn’t.
The more I resisted, the more pain I created for myself.
Looking back, I see that most of that pain was self-inflicted. I couldn’t—or wouldn’t—recognize my part in the situation. I told myself that everyone else needed to change, not me. That mindset kept me in the dark and let me play the victim. But what I didn’t realize was that by doing this, I was giving away my power. I was letting my pain control me instead of facing it head-on.
It wasn’t until the pain became unbearable that I finally surrendered. I had to get to that breaking point to become willing to change. And even then, change didn’t come all at once.
It was a slow, sometimes painful process, where I learned to let go of behaviors and patterns that no longer served me.
The Truth About Change
Here’s the thing:
Change is rarely easy, but it’s worth it.
Even now, with over 14 years on this path, I still find myself faced with the need for change. Sometimes it sneaks up on me. Behaviors I thought I had conquered creep back in. It’s humbling to admit that I need to deal with them again.
But the difference today is that I catch them sooner. I’ve learned to set aside my ego and get honest with myself. Change doesn’t have to mean chaos—it can mean growth. It can mean stepping into a stronger, more authentic version of myself.
The Choice is Yours
We have a choice:
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Stay stuck in the familiar discomfort.
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Or face the temporary discomfort of change.
Yes, change can be scary. It can be painful. But staying the same—living in patterns that no longer serve us—often hurts more. It’s the slow, grinding kind of pain that wears us down day after day.
This time in the world is an opportunity. We’re all experiencing shifts and uncertainty. Why not use this moment to make the changes we know we need to make? Why not come through this better, stronger, and more aligned with who we want to be?
SLAY OF THE DAY
Do you wait for the pain to become unbearable before you change?
Why do you wait?
Do you believe you deserve to suffer? Why?
What scares you about change? What do you think you need to change right now?
What small step can you take today to create a lasting positive impact?
There has never been a better time to break free from old patterns and choose a path that leads to your best self.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve been putting off that could bring more light into your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other in breaking free from the past and embracing the changes we need.
And if you know someone who needs this message—share it with them.
Together, we rise.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! What is meant to be will always find it’s way.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
You Can’t Open A Flower With A Sledgehammer
I mean, technically you can—but it won’t be pretty.
That’s true for life too. We can force things, try to speed them up, or push them into place. But more often than not, we end up destroying what could have been something beautiful by trying to control everything.
I spent so much of my life doing just that. Forcing. Pushing. Demanding. Always expecting a different result. That’s the very definition of insanity, right? It wasn’t until I learned to let go, to stop trying to force life to move on my schedule, that I started to see things bloom naturally.
Letting Go of Control
Learning to let things unfold in their own time was not easy. Just thinking about letting go of control used to make my anxiety spike. But here’s the truth: I was never really in control. I only thought I was. And realizing that—finally—was liberating.
I had always been a bit of a bull in a china shop, diving into situations without a plan and then trying to figure it all out on the fly. If I thought of life as a delicate flower, it reminded me to be gentle, to pause, and to let it open on its own.
It’s not about doing nothing—it’s about doing the footwork and then stepping back. My old fear-based thinking had me believing that I needed to control everything to keep the fear at bay. But in reality, trying to control made the fear grow stronger. Letting go, breathing, and trusting the process helped ease the anxiety and made space for the right things to happen.
The Sledgehammer Mentality
We all have wants, desires, and goals. But coming at them swinging a sledgehammer won’t get us any closer. It usually pushes them further away.
It’s easy to forget that everyone else has their own wants and needs too. And maybe, just maybe, what we think we want isn’t what’s actually best for us. Sometimes, when we loosen our grip a little, life brings us something even better than what we were trying to force into place.
So the next time you feel yourself reaching for the metaphorical sledgehammer, take a breath. Step back. Let life unfold. You might just be surprised at what blossoms.
SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY
Do you tend to force things to happen or do you let things unfold as they will?
Do you come at life like a bull or do you take the time to investigate and thoughtfully move through life?
If not, what can you do to slow down and look at things instead of just charging for the finish line?
Give an example when you used a sledgehammer in a situation and it backfired.
Give an example when you backed off a little and things went smoothly.
What was different about the time you backed off over the time you used a sledgehammer?
Why do you sometimes take out a sledgehammer instead of letting things unfold in their own time?
Forcing our way usually doesn’t give us the results we want, and even if we do get them, often we stomp on someone else to make it happen.
So why not put the sledgehammer down, do what you can, and stay out of the way of the results? You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens next.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
When was the last time you tried to force something and it backfired? When did you let go, and it worked out beautifully?
Share your stories in the comments. Let’s support each other in learning to put down the sledgehammer.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder, share it with them.
We grow by learning—and letting go—together.
SLAY TALK LIVE Video
Hey SLAYERS! Sorry for those of you who were confused as to where to find us, we had to move to Facebook LIVE, and, for those who didn’t join us, here’s what you missed!
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Our greatest ability is to learn and adapt.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
Go With The Flow
I’m the kind of person who usually has everything organized: calendars filled with appointments and reminders, lists of tasks, and a clear schedule for the days ahead. I like to be prepared and avoid surprises. But in these unpredictable times, when plans keep shifting moment by moment, I’m learning a crucial lesson—to go with the flow.
Just yesterday, I found myself overwhelmed as I tried to stick to my day’s schedule. With appointments canceled and plans reshuffled, I was racing down the street, rambling on the phone, heart racing, temperature rising—until I caught myself. I realized I wasn’t going to force things into being normal. The only way forward was to let go of what I thought should happen, and reassess what could happen with the tools and resources I had right then.
Not everything would get done neatly or on time—and that’s okay. The most important thing isn’t my checklist or calendar. It’s my mental health, my availability to support my family and friends, and my ability to be of service.
Letting Go of Control
Before walking this path, I was constantly forcing my will on everything and everyone. I had a clear vision of how things should go, and I fought hard to make them happen. That created tension, anxiety, and frustration—not just for me, but for the people around me.
When I finally surrendered to a healthier way of living, I learned to release my grip on control. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t plan or set goals—but we need to let go of rigid expectations and outcomes. Accepting things as they are brought me a sense of peace I’d never experienced before.
The truth is, we don’t control most things in life. The only things we can truly control are our actions and reactions. The more I learned to let go, the more peace I found.
Finding a New Rhythm
In these times of constant change, it’s important to embrace the reality of the moment. Think of yourself as a surfer riding the waves—adjusting, adapting, and finding balance as the waves come.
This is a perfect time to slow down, take care of ourselves and our loved ones, and refocus on what truly matters. Instead of stressing over to-do lists or canceled plans, let’s prioritize our physical and mental well-being.
When things shift unexpectedly, take a deep breath. Slow down. Go with the flow. We’re all figuring out a new rhythm, and instead of forcing the old one, why not embrace a healthier, more flexible beat?
SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY
Do you find yourself stressing out when your plans change or cancel?
How does that stress make you feel?
Does it help or harm you?
What can you do to release stress when it creeps in?
How can you practice letting go of expectations when things don’t turn out the way you planned?
Can you find a new rhythm, one that supports your mental and physical health instead of fueling stress?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve embraced a “go with the flow” mindset recently? How did it help?
Share your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s lift each other up as we learn to navigate life’s unpredictability.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder, share this blog with them.
We’re all in this together.
