move on

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When you make peace with your past you prevent your future from being a constant battle.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY  on!

State Of Slay Yesterdays Junk

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Let go!

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Define Me

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Anger is like acid, it can do more harm where it is stored than where it’s poured.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Makes You Happy

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Forgiveness does change the past, but it does enlarge your future.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Mistakes

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Your silence does not protect you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Freedom Ends

Laughter: A Sign Of Good Health

When I first stepped on this path and made a commitment to get better there wasn’t much to laugh about. I had hit the lowest bottom I ever had, emotionally, physically and spiritually, my life was hanging in the balance and every moment felt very fragile. When I began to look for support, and for others like me, who were struggling to find a new way of living, and those who already had, I was surprised to find how much laughter there was in their recovery. I had not yet found the humor in where I found myself at all, and yet, often I would hear people share their stories or offer comfort to others with a sense of humor and laughter at the places they had come from or things they had once did. That laughter, that sense of humor about where we had come from and where we found ourselves in that moment helped to make things OK, it helped me to realize that the place I found myself was not a death sentence, nor was it a place where I was meant to suffer for the rest of my life and have no fun, the work I had to do was serious, but I didn’t have to take myself so seriously, in fact, to recover, to get better, to find this new way of life, it was going to help tremendously to find some humor in my own situation if I was going to be able to let go and move on.

My Mom, who has had her struggles with health over the years, has always said, “if I’ve lost my sense of humor I’ve lost everything,” even in the moments when she was in the worst pain or discomfort. I remembered that as I set out in this new journey, that I too needed to hold on to my sense of humor as I stepped forward and began to heal. Even in the very serious place I found myself, in terms of needing to come clean and get help for the way I had been living, and to find a way to live with my mental illness, it helped to look for those moments that I could laugh at, and they were harder to find at the start, but they were there. Life is really what we make it, and even in our darkest days we have a choice how we’re going to look at it and deal with it. As painful as much of my early recovery was emotionally, it helped to lighten the load with some laughter where I could, but, I had to be careful. I had built up such a strong wall to protect myself that I had also used my sense of humor to deflect and hide behind. I had to be careful in those early days to not use my laughter to try to escape the truth and brush off the work I was needing to do. The laughter could not be self-deprecating, it couldn’t be an act to hide how I truly felt, and it couldn’t be at someone else’s expense, my laughter had to come from a place of humility, to connected and relation to someone like myself and as an act of healing.

As I got better so did my sense of humor about the road that had brought me to my knees. I realized that my suffering was a result of my disease along with choices I had been making, and many of those choices, looking back, now seem pretty funny, even though I had justified them at the time, but to be able to look back and find the humor from a happier and healthier place, allowed me to put some perspective on how bad things were and how bad many of my choices were. And that laughter helped me to create bonds with others, like myself, who had traveled down similar roads. Our laughter united us and made us stronger.

When we find ourselves on those dark moments of our life it can be difficult to find the humor in our situation, but just finding one thing could make the difference of struggling through another day, or finding the light on an otherwise dark existence, that laughter just may be the key to opening the door and setting yourself free. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you take yourself seriously or are you able to find the humor in things? If you’re not able to, why not? If you are, how do you look for the humor in your day-to-day life? How has humor helped you through a difficult time? How has it connected you to people like yourself? And how have those connections helped you on your journey? If you have trouble finding the humor your day, how can you look for those moments to find it and maybe lighten your mood? Can you think of something in your past, that now, looking back, may seem funny to you? Do you see how finding the humor in those moments allows the light to come in? Find those moments SLAYER. Look for the humor in your life, allow yourself to laugh and let yourself heal from those darkest days.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and forget the unacceptable.

New blog goes up Tuesday,  until then…SLAY on!

state of slay bad attitude

Walk Up From The Basement

We forget sometimes that we have the power to walk away from a situation that no longer serves us, or maybe never did. We don’t have to stay down in the basement. In the dark. We can walk up those stairs and live the life we want, have dreamed of, and truly deserve.

We sometimes keep ourselves in the dark, thinking we deserve to be there, or don’t deserve any better, but we are the only ones who our holding ourselves back, we are the ones telling ourselves those lies that prevent us from finding our own happy ending, or maybe beginning, but finding our happy. It’s out there for the taking, but you have to have the courage to take it.

Before walking on this path I lived in the basement of my own life. And I was the only one in the house! No one was keeping me down there except myself. And I had lived there so long that I couldn’t remember living anywhere else. I didn’t like it there, but it was what I knew. I told myself it was safer there, even though I felt alone there. I thought I deserved to live in the darkness, where it was cold and damp. It clung to me when I tried to step into the light, like it was reaching out for me from the shadows, and I would let it pull me back down, retreating from the world and from my true self. I played the victim and would say that I didn’t deserve good things because I was a bad person. I wasn’t a bad person, I just wasn’t being good to myself. And didn’t believe in myself.

When I finally found the courage to reach out for help, I was told that my recovery, the improvement of my life, was in my hands, that I had the power to change, and I was the only one with the key to unlock the door and step out into the light. It had never occurred to me that I had that key. I used to blame everyone else, or just the world in general, for my life in the basement, but it was me who kept me down there all along. And once I had realized that it was my job to come up those stairs and live the life I was meant to live. Letting myself come up from the basement was the first of many big steps. Learning how to live outside of it came next, and it wasn’t always easy, as that basement was always calling me with it’s familiarity and it’s cloak of sadness a part of me still believed felt right. Change can be difficult. But it can be done. And as I kept taking more and more steps into the light, that basement didn’t seem so appealing anymore. And that feeling of familiarity started to fade. I started to crave the light, and living in it, and eventually threw away the key that opened that basement door.

We all have a choice, ever day, where we want to live, not necessarily physically, but mentally and spiritually, but we have to believe we deserve more than we have, if what we have doesn’t fill our hearts and minds with love. We are only as stuck as we allow ourselves to be, and sure, sometimes circumstances may make it difficult to extract ourselves from our current situation, but it can be done, and if need be, there are always people out there willing to lend you a hand for a better opportunity or place you can call home. Share you truth, let go of your fears and start climbing that staircase, there’s a bright future waiting for you up there. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you keep yourself locked in the basement when you should be living your life upstairs? Why do you think you do that? What do you do to keep yourself there? What can you do to get yourself out? What do you imagine your life would look like out of the basement? Have you lived in the basement so long you’ve forgotten, or don’t know? You hold the key SLAYER to your own freedom, but first you have to believe that you deserve to be set free. You also have to let go of the lies you’ve told yourself, or maybe someone else has told you, to let yourself live freely in the light. It’s all there, what you want, what you imagined, on the other side of that basement door, you locked yourself.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Forgiveness does not change the past, but it brightens your future.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Forgiveness

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Not every battle can be won. Not every battle is your battle to fight. The only battle that is worth fighting is the battle in your mind that tells you it’s your right to be right, even when the battle has nothing to do with you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Distraction