Good morning SLAYER! You have the power to say, this is not how my story is going to end. Your story isn’t over yet ;
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Inspire
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Suicide doesn’t take the pain away, it passes it to someone else.
If you need someone to talk about Your pain, please reach out to someone. Suicide Prevention Resources
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Large things are made up of many small things. Celebrate the small things.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Everything you don’t know is something you can learn.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! What picture are you painting today?
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Your mind is a very powerful thing.
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! It takes time to get familiar with new thoughts and situations, don’t let it stop you from changing.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
I See It When I Believe It
Before getting well, I was often heard saying the opposite, “I’ll believe that when I see it,” which was almost always followed by an eye roll. I had a very skeptical mind that always went to the negative. I looked for the negative so that’s what I saw. I believed that’s what I deserved because I believed I was a bad person and I was ashamed of how I was living my life. Even when good things did come, I thought something negative would follow it to balance things out, robbing me of the enjoyment of that good. It never occurred to me to look for the good, or even that it was there before I stepped on this path.
When I made a commitment to get better I was encouraged to look for the good. I was in the darkest place I had ever been, so the thought that there was anything in my life that could be labeled good seemed far-fetched, but I was reminded that I was standing in a place of willingness, willingness to find a solution and get better, that alone was something good, and, that was something I could hang onto to start. Looking back, that was a lot of good, it took a lot of courage to come forward and share my true self, true pain and true thoughts and feelings, but I knew my life depended on it, so I gathered up all the courage I could to step forward. As I continued my journey I was constantly challenged to find the good, and to believe in it. Some days it was difficult to find it and I had to hold on to the simple facts that I had made it on this journey so far and that was positive, that I had love and support in my life and I was still alive. I had to break it down to those simple facts some days just to get by. But with most things, the more we do them the easier they become, and the more I started to look for the good and positive things in my life the more I found. I wrote them down at first, and some days still do, to remind myself so that if I came up against negative thinking I could pull that list out of my pocket and read them to myself. Just the act of reading or saying those things out loud could sometimes change my thinking. I also was encouraged to reach out to others when I was having a negative day, and not to talk about how bad I felt, but to ask them how their day was. That act also, many times, turned my thinking around, and most of all, got my thinking outside of myself. For me, the root of my troubles centered in my mind, my thinking, my thoughts wanted to keep me in the dark and isolated from everyone, so by doing things that took me out of my own thoughts or the negative thinking I had become accustomed to, my thinking started to change and so did my perception of the world around me.
I know today that I have the power to see what I want to see. I can take any day, any situation, and make it positive or negative, it’s all in how I look at it, or what I choose to take away. When I believe I deserve the good, when I believe I have good in my life, I see it, and not only do I see it, I feel it and share it with others. It becomes like a magnet, and that energy I give out brings back the same energy. But it starts with me believing. As a recovered “victim of life” that makes me feel pretty powerful.
If you believe it, you’ll see it. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to see things from a negative perspective? Why do you think that is? Have you always been that way? If not, what changed? If you have, why do you think that is? Have you tried to find the positive in your life? How has that gone? Have you found it? Have you lost it? How? What if you made a commitment to look for the good, the positive, in your day today? Write down all of the things you find, and put it in your pocket for a rainy day. Practice doing this every day until you start to notice the positive on your own. Life is really what we make it, and when we believe it, we can see it.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Don’t Blame A Clown For Acting Like A Clown If You Keep Going To The Circus
I’ve been there. I mean, clowns are one thing—but for me, the pattern showed up in the people I kept allowing back into my life.
Before I began walking this healing path, I lived with a lot of magical thinking. I believed that if I hoped hard enough, people or situations would just… change. And each time they didn’t, I was left hurt, disappointed, and confused. Still, I’d go back—again and again—expecting a different outcome.
For a while, I told myself it was about giving people the benefit of the doubt. But if I’m being honest, some of it was rooted in a narrative I was used to telling: that I couldn’t trust people, that others would always let me down, that I was the victim. A lot of it, though, was simply expecting someone to show up differently than they ever had before—despite all the evidence to the contrary.
When We Hope Instead of Accept
Even after I started healing, I still found myself getting hurt in these same dynamics. The difference was, I had more awareness. I knew I couldn’t expect people to be who I wanted them to be. But because I was changing, because I was growing and showing up differently, I’d start to think—maybe they are too.
Spoiler: They weren’t.
At least not in the way I hoped. They were still who they had always been. And I was still getting hurt.
People show us who they are. We’re the ones who often refuse to believe them. We soften the truth, sugarcoat their behavior, make excuses. But deep down, we know what’s real. We just don’t always want to accept it.
Expecting Different From What’s Always Been
We can’t expect different from someone who’s always shown us the same. Yes, people can change—I have changed—but we can’t expect it. We can share how something made us feel. We can suggest a different way of communicating. But at the end of the day, some people will always return to their default patterns. And that may not change—no matter how much we grow.
The only thing we can control is us:
- Our boundaries
- Our expectations
- Our willingness to engage
We can’t keep going back to the same well and be surprised when it’s still empty. Eventually, it’s not about them. It’s about why we keep going back.
Lead by Example—And Accept What Is
The most powerful way to inspire change is by living it.
When we shift how we communicate, how we hold boundaries, how we show up—we naturally invite others to do the same. But even then, they may not follow. And we have to be okay with that.
Because we’re only responsible for our own energy. We can’t change someone else. We can only change how we engage with them—or choose not to.
This lesson didn’t sink in for me right away. I returned to the same dynamics more than once, hoping this time it would be different. Hoping the same people would finally see me, show up for me, offer something they’d never offered before.
And each time, I left disappointed.
Eventually, the mirror flipped. The problem wasn’t just them—it was me continuing to hope for something that had never been there.
The Truth Isn’t Always Harsh—But It Is Honest
It’s not always easy to accept the truth about someone, especially if that truth means letting go of what we wish they could be.
Accepting someone for who they are doesn’t mean you hate them. It doesn’t even mean they’re a bad person. It just means they aren’t capable of offering you what you need.
And that might mean setting boundaries. It might mean pulling back. Or it might mean walking away entirely.
The truth is: you can’t blame the clown for acting like a clown if you keep showing up at the circus.
You have the power to exit the tent.
Take people for who they are—not who you hope they’ll become—and honor yourself by accepting that truth.
SLAY Reflection: Your Turn to Get Honest
Take a moment to reflect with these questions:
- Do you find yourself going back to the same people, expecting different results?
- Is there someone in your life you’re still hoping will change, despite a long pattern of behavior?
- What are you really seeking from them—support, love, validation? Have they ever truly given it?
- What boundaries could you set to protect your peace, even if they don’t change?
- What would it look like to stop hoping—and start accepting?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one situation or relationship you’ve kept returning to, hoping it would change—and what finally helped you step away?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.And if you know someone who’s stuck in a cycle of disappointment, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.
SLAY on!
