acceptance

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What is meant to be will always find a way.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Patience Impatience

Patience Is To Sit In Your Suffering

Patience is a skill I never had when I was living in the dark. I wanted what I wanted—and I wanted it now. If something took longer than I thought it should, I unraveled. I’d stew in my own anxiety, convinced that worrying over it somehow meant I was “doing something.” But it never helped. In fact, it only made things worse.

The reality is, I was causing myself more pain by holding on.

Suffering Is Optional (But It Doesn’t Feel That Way)

When I started my journey toward healing, I had to face a hard truth: patience isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s powerful. It’s choosing to sit still when every part of you wants to control, manipulate, and fast-forward the process.

I was taught something simple, yet profound—do the footwork and let go. And actually let go. Not say I would, then sit in agony while pretending to surrender. That took time. It still does. But every time I allowed myself to sit in discomfort, without reacting, something shifted.

Here’s what I learned: the suffering didn’t come from the waiting—it came from the clinging.

Letting Go of the Illusion of Control

So much of my anxiety came from the belief that I had to manage everything. I believed I had the best plan, the right answers, and the perfect timeline. But that was just my ego talking. And when I realized how wrong I’d been before—how lost and broken I felt trying to run the show—it humbled me.

I had to accept that I wasn’t the director of the universe. That my vision was limited. That maybe—just maybe—there was a bigger plan unfolding, and my job was to participate, not dictate.

That’s where the power of patience lives. Not in forcing, but in trusting. Not in pushing, but in practicing peace. And the more I practiced, the less I suffered.

Choosing Peace Over Pressure

Let’s be honest—letting go is not easy. Especially when we care deeply about the outcome. But once we start to realize that the suffering is self-inflicted—that it’s not coming from the waiting, but how we wait—it becomes easier to breathe through it.

The truth is, when we choose to surrender, we reclaim our power.

Patience doesn’t mean inaction. It means taking the action that’s yours, and then releasing what isn’t. It means being OK with not knowing, trusting that the right things will unfold in the right time. That may feel uncomfortable at first. But comfort isn’t the goal—freedom is.

And freedom comes when we stop clinging to control and let go of the suffering we’ve been dragging around.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Release

  • Do you try to force outcomes instead of letting things unfold?

  • What’s the cost of that tension—emotionally, mentally, physically?

  • How do you feel when you’re able to truly let go?

  • What fear is keeping you in the suffering?

  • What step can you take today to release control and choose peace?

Suffering shows us where we’re clinging. Let it be your invitation to let go.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one area of your life where you’re holding on instead of letting go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to sit in the waiting, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to pause.

Accept The Gifts

For many of us, it isn’t easy asking for help or accepting it. During this time, it’s near impossible to do everything on our own. Life, very often, presents opportunities for us to not only humble ourselves and ask for what we need but also offers a chance for someone else to step up and be of service.

I’ve written before that it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, when we do, most of the time, it not only helps us but also helps the person we ask. It’s funny how that works. Just like when we need to talk to someone about what we’re going through—the person we open up to usually gets just as much out of the conversation as we do.

Releasing the Armor

When I was living in the dark, it was very difficult for me to ask for help. I thought it was a sign of weakness. I was proud to push through on my own, no matter what the collateral damage was. There were times when I’d gotten myself into situations I couldn’t get out of and was forced to ask for help, and I’d beat myself up for doing it. Or, in my twisted thinking, I’d justify it—I thought the help was owed to me because of past grievances, some imagined, some real.

Eventually, I realized that asking for help was not only necessary but an act of courage. That first reach-out was terrifying, but it was also a huge relief. It was the moment I took my power back.

Practicing the Art of Acceptance

Learning to continue asking for help and accepting the gifts that came my way was its own journey. For me, finding acceptance in myself and learning to love myself was the key to accepting gifts from others—and from life. I’m not just talking about physical gifts. Gifts come in many forms: a smile, a warm hug, a kind word.

I had to learn to believe I was worthy of receiving these gifts. I had to trust there wasn’t an ulterior motive and that these gestures were given from the heart. It took time, but the more I learned to simply say thank you and accept them, the easier it became. And the more I gave of myself—my time, my kindness—the more I understood the power of these simple gestures.

Don’t Steal the Gift

When we refuse a gift or brush off a compliment, we’re telling the giver they’re wrong. That doesn’t feel good to anyone. To simply say thank you and leave it at that is a practice of grace. It allows us to learn to accept good things and allows the other person the experience of giving.

Right now, we can all benefit from both giving and receiving. But it’s essential for our spirit and self-worth to practice receiving with gratitude. When we do, it fills our hearts, shows us we’re worthy of kindness, and reminds us we deserve good things.

Don’t let pride or discomfort block these moments. Nothing happens by mistake. There’s a reason for the giver and the receiver, and it may be bigger than either of you can imagine. If you feel compelled to give, do it. If you’re the lucky recipient, smile, say thank you, and know you were chosen for a reason.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you have a hard time accepting gifts? Why do you think that is?

  • What was the last gift you accepted? How did it make you feel?

  • What was the last gift you gave? How did that make you feel?

  • Can you see how important it is to accept the gifts that come your way?

  • Why do you feel others deserve gifts more than you do? Why do you think you’re not worthy?

You are worthy, SLAYER. Gifts come into our lives to show us something, to lift our spirits, or to bring us closer together. Trust that the gifts coming your way are there for a reason. Say thank you, and feel it in your heart.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one gift—big or small—you’ve accepted lately, and how did it make you feel?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other.

And if you know someone who needs this reminder, send this to them.
Sometimes, a simple gesture says: “You’re worthy of good things, too.”

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! I am more than my scars.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Gold Self Love Super Power

When We Love Ourselves Love Finds Us

This seemed like a good topic for Valentine’s Day, and one that may stir up some feelings about self-love. As someone who spent most of her life hating herself I know the power we have over what we attract into our lives. That’s not to say if we don’t love ourselves that we won’t, can’t, or don’t have love in our lives, because I know we can, I did, even when that self-love wasn’t there, but when we do find or have that love for ourselves it invites more love in, and, we tend to look for the love we already have and want to share our love with others.

Love is contagious, who doesn’t want to feel, receive and give love? It can heal almost anything, and what I may not be able to heal alone, it can certainly help with the process. Finding love for myself came with some work on my part, but I knew I had to find it to get better and to live the life I had dreamed of. To get to the place I am now I had to first find forgiveness in myself, for all the unloving things I did to myself and to those around me. I had to let go of the guilt and shame I carried around that held me back and blocked me from finding self-love. I had to take responsibility for my actions but I also had to accept that I was doing the best I could with the tools I had, and, with untreated mental illness, my best thinking often set me on a course of self-sabotage and self-destruction. I would never criticize someone with cancer, diabetes or Alzheimer’s so why would I criticize myself for the disease I had that had clouded my judgment and stole from me for most of my life. Finding that acceptance and using it as a tool to grow from where I was, to do better and to start living in a positive way was the place I started on my journey to self-love. I made a point, each day, to find gratitude in who I was, where I was and where I wanted to go, and some days that proved more challenging than others, but even just thinking of one thing was enough to change my outlook. I gave back where I could to others struggling like I was, which got me out of my own head and relieved me of the negative thinking that had plagued me my whole life. I made a lot of changes, took direction from others and professionals and I began to feel better. Slowly, by practicing loving acts towards myself and others I was able to say, out loud, that I loved myself, and when I did my life changed, and I began to look for love in each day. I also began to share the love I had with others, even by paying someone a compliment are congratulating them on a job well done. Walking this path with love in my heart ultimately brought me a love I didn’t know I could have and a man who I now share a love with that continues to grow each day.

Finding love for ourselves may seem like an impossible journey, but nothing is impossible if we try and make changes in our lives that support our efforts to find that love. It’s a journey that takes humility and a desire to search for those things that we feel make us lovable and what allows us to share our love with those around us. We all are worthy of love, even if we don’t feel we are, but when we open our heart to the idea of it, the magic of love may just open your heart enough to show you just how lovable you really are. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe you are lovable? If not, why not? Have you always felt that way? If you haven’t, what changed? Are there moments in your life that have been able to find self-love? What were they? Why don’t they stay or why did they go away? What can you do today to show yourself love? How can you share that love with someone else? Today, since this is a day to celebrate love, look for all of the love you have in your life and all of the ways you can show yourself love in return, just being willing to look for it opens the door enough to come in.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Freedom is being you without anyone’s permission.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Authenticity

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! We have what we seek, it has been there all the time, and if we give it time, it will make itself known to us.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Time What Really Matters

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving you shame.

SLAY on!

state-of-slay Grace To Live

Living In Grace, Not Mercy

My life before was one based in fear. I was in fear of what was to come, I was in fear of what I had done and I was constantly asking for forgiveness and mercy when I had no intention of changing or following through on what I had promised. I walked with my head down, and felt that everyone I passed knew what I really was. I was ashamed and didn’t think I even deserved the mercy I was seeking. The burden and consequences of the choices I had made weighed me down like I had lead sewn into the lining of all my clothes. Until one night I was offered some grace.

That grace came as a result of me doing something I had never done, I surrendered. I admitted defeat and asked for help. It was in that moment that I was given grace. I wasn’t sure I wholeheartedly deserved it, or could accept it, but I did the best I could to take it, hold it close to my heart and step into the unknown. I worked to let go of the thinking of my past, believing that I only deserved bad things, that I was a bad person and that my only way out was asking for mercy. None of that was true, and the truth was, I always had a way out, I just have to find the courage to leave. Once I did I had some work to do to believe I deserved the grace I was given. I had to let go of the notion that I could control everything, I was never really able to, no one is, but I would attempt it every day to the brink of exhaustion and insanity. I had to learn how to forgive, starting with myself, but those who I had blamed for all my misfortune, I had to take responsibility for my part and I had to find compassion for those, who like me, where sick in some way, who’s actions may not have been right, but were limited by their own illnesses and self. To allow myself to dwell on my negative thoughts and emotions was a sure-fire way to fall back into the darkness I was working so hard to climb out of. I was not able to change the past, but I was, and am, able to create the future. That is what I had to focus on. I had to learn to have faith and to trust that what was in front of me was there to help me, to teach me and to guide me to where I was meant to be. I had to let go of what I thought things should look like and accept them as they were, and are. I had to learn to be thankful and grateful, even on days when I didn’t feel so. It was important for me to keep my thoughts positive and even if I could only think of one thing, I kept that one thing in my heart until I could think of more. And in doing so I was able to start expecting the best, looking for the good instead of the dark doom and gloom of my past. When I looked for the good, I found the good, even if it was the smallest good, it was there, and from there it kept growing the more I looked and nurtured it.

Today I aim to live in grace, and know I deserve to. I allow myself to be seen just as I am, flaws and all, and am able to share my journey from mercy to grace with others so that they may start their own, or, may be encouraged on their path. I have nothing to fear from my past, and nothing to be ashamed of, all of those moments, those choices, that darkness brought me to that moment of grace, and it probably couldn’t have happened any other way, it took that amount of darkness to see the light.

You have a choice of where you live your life, but I highly recommend living in grace, sure, it will probably take some work, it took quite a lot for me, but it was worth each step, each moment, each struggle I was able to overcome so I can stand tall in the light and appreciate all of the beauty in my life, and am able to recognize that it had always been there, even when I couldn’t see it. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you live in grace or mercy? If you live in mercy, describe how. If you live in grace, describe how. Have there been times in your life that you switched one for the other? Describe that time and what happened? What can you do today to live in grace? What do you struggle with? What keeps you from living in grace? We are all worthy of grace, but we have to believe we are, and, it may take some work to get there, and sometimes just by letting go of who you used to be is enough to open the door to your own place of grace.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect, it means you decided to look beyond the imperfections to find your own brand of happy.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Blue Prevent Happiness