Author: Carrie Genzel

Every Little Thing Should Be Celebrated

We often save our celebrations for big events, or accomplishments, but what about those every day victories that get us to those big celebrations? Every day is worth celebrating, heck, most of us have made it through some pretty treacherous waters to get where we are right now, I know I have, and yet, sometimes we forget to celebrate how far we’ve come, how our day-to-day choices, decisions, or our overall mindset has changed for the better. We tend to focus on those big changes or life events instead of those little shifts each day. Many times we dismiss our hard work, or downplay what we have accomplished, never acknowledging ourselves for a job well done. It takes a lot to even recognize we need a change many times, let alone actually making them.

When I made the decision to change my life for the better most of what I had been doing to get by, and the way I had been living my life, had to be changed. That seemed really daunting, and scary. I, in the past, was someone who didn’t like change, and at times, when things were changing around me, beyond my control, I had turned to behaviors that ultimately harmed myself to cope with the feeling that my life was out of control. So, to set forth knowing I was embarking on an unknown path that was going to require me to change almost everything took some courage, but I had to trust I had been led to the path ahead for a reason and I had to trust that those I was walking with were going to help me and walk with me into this foreign land. I was encouraged to celebrate the little things, which, for me, back then, weren’t little, but even just the fact that I woke up, that I put a new routine in place that was in support of good mental health and a spiritual practice, and that I had stopped leaning on old habits that were harming me just to get by. Each day was a celebration because I had made it through, I had come from a place of wanting to die each day, so just waking up and looking forward to the day ahead was always something to celebrate, even if it was a difficult day, it was still better than where I had come from. But focusing on the victories, small or large, helped me to keep going, and it started to build my self-esteem. It also gave me a connection to others who were on a similar path, and I learned to celebrate their victories as well, sometimes even more than my own, because I knew how hard they were working and how tough the road could be. I learned compassion through taking an interest in others, and encouraging them to keep going as I celebrated along with them. Life started to look different, and instead of it being a series of horrible events, or punishment, it became full of celebrations, for me, and those around me.

We often set parameters in our lives for what we think is worthy of celebrating, and often we set those parameters higher for ourselves than those around us. What if we looked for all the ways we can celebrate ourselves today? What if we focused on our wins and not our losses? Why don’t we look at all the ways we deserve to be celebrated today, and share that joy with others as they celebrate themselves, or, perhaps, inspire them to celebrate their own. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you celebrate the smaller moments in your life, acknowledging how far you’ve come or how hard you’ve worked? If yes, how do you do that? If no, why not? Do you set the bar high for what you deem important enough to celebrate? What is worthy of celebration in your life? When was the last time you celebrated you? How can you do that more? What can you celebrate in your life today? How can you do that? Each time we walk through something we struggle with, each time we make a positive change in our life, or a positive thought replaces a negative one, each time we step out of our comfort zone and reach for something new we should celebrate. Maybe there’s a celebration just for reading this today and considering it, it starts with one small step, but that step could change the rest of your life.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You did what you knew how to do at the time, when you know better, you do better.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Green Better Not Bitter

We Are All More Than The Worst Thing We’ve Ever Done

When I was living in the dark I was ashamed at the choices I was making and how I was living my life. My disease wanted to keep me sick, and eventually, wanted my life, and it would stop at nothing to keep in a place desperation to stop my pain, a desperation that would cause me to do things I wouldn’t normally do to try to find peace. As a result I was embarrassed by my actions, what I was saying and doing just to get by each day, I knew that’s not who I was, but I just wanted numb myself any way possible so I wouldn’t feel. When I made the commitment to seek treatment I knew I was going to have to face my past behavior and choices, I didn’t know how I was going to do that when I already had so much self-hatred, but I was told I didn’t have to do it alone.

I remember sitting with someone who was walking with me on my journey, it was suggested that I write down the things I was ashamed of, I was told that whatever I held back, whatever secrets I may hide, those things would keep me sick. I remember feeling nervous to share those things with someone I had grown to trust, and, had started to admire. I thought, truthfully, that after I told her everything she would never want to talk to me again, and I actually started the meeting by saying how much I had appreciated her help thus far but would understand if she never wanted to talk to me again after I say what I needed to say. She just smiled at me. The truth is, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of, each and every one of us, there isn’t anyone that at one time or another hasn’t maybe told a lie, cheated, or bent the rules, tried to manipulate a favorable outcome for ourselves, or not have been accountable for their actions. So when I shared my worst, she smiled, and either said, me too, or shared what she had done. I realized in that moment that all of those things I carried around, dragged behind me like a weighted ball and chain, were me just punishing myself, or, giving myself too much self-importance. There was nothing in what I disclosed that was shocking to this person, and nothing that caused her to not want to see or talk to me again, in fact, our relationship got stronger as we now had a commonality of where we had come from, and we connected in our strength of where we wanted to go.

Just because we may have done some bad things, doesn’t make us a bad person, we are more than the worst thing we’ve ever done. What is important is finding what we can take away from that act, find out why we felt that was our best option, and, look for better options moving forward. So much of the release of those bad decisions and actions was about admitting them, of taking ownership of them and then making a commitment to not repeat them, to find better options that honored who I was working to become, and, making amends or apologies if they were warranted. In the 13 plus years of this journey so far, I have seen many seemingly unforgivable things forgiven. Only we can hold ourselves back by believing we are the worst we’ve done, we’re not, as they say, the truth with set us free, and set us on a path of recovery and self-love. SLAY ON!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think of yourself as a bad person because of bad things you feel you’ve done? Does that get in the way of your relationships, career, and general way of life? How? Why do you think what you’ve done is unforgivable? What were the circumstances around what you did? Are you still that same person? Or, have you moved on, still harboring bad feelings around that incident? Have you ever told anyone about what you’ve done? If yes, what was the result? And if yes, why do you still carry the guilt of what was done? If you haven’t told anyone, why not? What holds you back? Only you can release yourself from the shackles of your past and the ideas that what you have done holds you back, let go of the past, find a release from those things that tie you to who you were, and focus on who you are and who are working to be. You are not your past, unless you choose to live there.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Your body hears everything your mind thinks.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Pinky Your Body

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! There’s no weight limit on beauty.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Blue Fat

Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body

It was in my teens that I remember starting to hate my body. I felt betrayed by it. I had been a thin athletic kid and then things started to change. I felt like things were happening in my body that I didn’t like, and what was happening was bringing unwanted attention. It was during that time that I started hating my body. I had already had built up an uncomfortability with who I was, that I hid, and to then have my body change only added to my discomfort and eventual hate for myself and how I looked. It was during that time of change that I also became hyper-aware of others around me, comparing myself to them and never feeling like I could measure up. Nothing, in my eyes, when it came to my mind or body, was ever good enough, and the downward spiral began of my mind bullying my body.

Looking back at myself back then there wasn’t anything to be ashamed about, or beat myself up about, and having been on this road of recovery for quite some time I can see that what I was mainly upset about was feeling that I wasn’t in control. There were many things back then I felt I had no control over, and my body changing felt like the final betrayal, and I set out to stop it and take back the control I felt I had lost. That path led to an eating disorder I was lucky to recover from, and it took me many years to totally overcome, and even so, there are days today, that I keep myself in check and accountable regarding my food intake. But when I think back to those days and how much hate I had for myself and my body it makes me sad. There wasn’t anything wrong with it. And, now, in later years, I appreciate my body and what it does for me, what it allows me to do, and my overall health, but back then, it was all about looking a certain way and trying to manipulate myself to be something I wasn’t. I just wanted to blend in so that no one would ask me any questions, and the more I hated myself  the louder the negative self-talk got in my head. It was a scare that got me on the road healthier eating and self-care, but it was a slow and arduous road. And, as grateful as I am today to have a better relationship with food and my body, I still struggle with my own body image on certain days, I even caught myself today thinking negative thoughts.

Most of us seem to have things about ourselves and our bodies we dislike, or, would like to change. And, if there is a change that is better for your overall health and well-being it’s great to set goals and make those changes, but when we continuously beat ourselves up for not looking like someone we’re not, we are walking down a dangerous path. We are not meant to all look the same. We are meant to be all different shapes, colors, and textures, and you know what, each of them is beautiful! Like other topics I’ve covered it’s about changing our thinking, looking at the positive instead of focusing on the seemingly negative. We all were given the body we have for a reason, why not make the most of it, why not cherish it, love it, and appreciate all that it does for us, even if it doesn’t do all we would like, we can train ourselves to not let our mind bully our body. SLAY on!

(The picture above was from a time I hated myself and my body, proof to myself now how my self-image contorted the truth.)

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you love your body? Do you like your body? If yes, to either why? If no to either why? Have you always love or hated your body? If there was a change, what changed? What can you do today to have a more positive healthier body image? Have you tried this in the past? Has it worked? If yes, why did you stop? If it hasn’t, why hasn’t it worked? Is there something you are hanging onto that is stopping you from loving your body? Is there something you can do to change that? We all have our own unique beauty and it’s up to each of us to find that beauty, and, hopefully celebrate it.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes you face difficulties not because you’re doing something wrong, but because you are doing something right.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Find The Signs

All The Wrong Reasons

I believe we are guided to where we are meant to be. I believe we can connect to something greater than ourselves through a spiritual practice or faith for continued direction in our lives. But regardless of what we may or not believe, when we look at our lives we can typically find a reason why we may have been lead down certain paths, both good and bad.

I was speaking to someone yesterday about this topic, and she smiled and said that the two most important things in her life, those things that contribute to her overall wellness she entered into for the wrong reasons but found something very valuable there. It got me thinking of situations in my life when I may have had different intentions, or even selfish or wrong intentions, but those actions lead me to something beautiful. I do believe that there is a force that guides me, protects me, and wants the best for me, I’ve seen many examples of this in my life, the one most important, is the night I should have lost my life, I wrote about that experience in my blog “A Power Greater Than Myself,” which you can find here A Power Greater Than Myself, and as a result of having been shown that that guidance is there I know now not to question it, or the directions I may find myself heading to, as long as it feels right to my mind, body and spirit. The universe, God, spirit, whatever you believe or may call it, may guide you to something using whatever will be most attractive to you in the moment, to get you to where you need to be, almost like dangling a carrot, and likely, you have been given the clues or shown the way many times before and had chosen not to take the path you are meant to be on, so, a different direction is taken to get you where you should be. We all have freedom of choice, but we don’t always make the best decisions for ourselves, I know this all too well from my past, so sometimes a little bait and switch happens to bring us to that place we ultimately will find beneficial to us.

It doesn’t matter what gets us to where we are meant to be, what matters is that we remain teachable and open to new experiences, new places and new ways of thinking. We don’t know everything, there’s no way we could, the world and what is out there is far beyond our comprehension, we only know what is in front of us and what we have experienced, so when something new is presented to us, we should take that opportunity and explore what’s there, we can always say it’s not for us, but what if if is, and what if it’s exactly what we’ve been looking for, but it just doesn’t look the way we thought it would.

It doesn’t matter what reasons get us to where we are meant to be, what matters is that we are open to what what we may find there. Life does have a way of showing us one thing just so we’ll discover something else. Be open to where your path may lead you and to what you may find there. You may be directed to someone or something that will completely change the direction of your life through a situation that may have been your worst, there is always a reason for everything. Stay true to who you are, trust, and look for the signs, they are pointing you in the right direction. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe in something greater than yourself guiding you to where you are mean to be? If not, why not? Can you see examples in your life where you may have changed direction or had been shown a new way of life? Write down that example. Can you think of times when you may have not taken the direction and found yourself repeating the past where you had not been happy? What can you do to change your view, to be open to new things and possibly new roads? The answers, and solutions, you are looking for may just be there in front of you, look for the signs, take a chance on new opportunities and new roads, and be open to things, when you do, the possibilities are endless.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Be a spark in the dark.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Dont Forget

Searching For Love

I’ve been spending time with family this week, my fiance’s family, a family I’m enjoying getting to know more and more, and we’ve been talking a lot about love and life. As I plan for my wedding, a big milestone, and a celebration of love, it brings up a lot of emotions, for us, as a couple, and for family and friends who are on this journey with us. We’ve had some spontaneous beautiful moments that all center around love. Our conversations have often gone to memories of new beginnings, of birth, of heartfelt moments, and endings, but through it all, the through line to all of those moments and memories is love. We look for love, are attracted to love and, hopefully, give love. There’s a reason why so my songs have been written about it, and according to The Beatles, “Love Is All You Need.” We probably need more than just love, but love is the center of most things we do, it is something that motivates us, challenges us, and for some of us, something we are constantly searching for.

I had a friend share with me a near death experience she had, she described it in detail, but what has always stayed with me is her describing how she felt in the place her soul went, she said to me, the only way to describe how I felt where was was love, but that doesn’t even come close to the feeling, she said, what I felt doesn’t exist here on earth, and I think we are always searching for it, and the closest thing we have here is love. I think we do always look for love, or gravitate toward it, and why not, for the most part, it feels great, to give it and receive it, but the love I’ve found for myself is the love that allows me to fully enjoy the love around me.

For most of my life I hated myself, there was no love, I was full of anxiety and self-hatred for who I thought I was and that dominated my thoughts and actions. That self-hatred stood in the way of most true love that I had in my life because I didn’t believe I deserved it. I loved to the best of my ability, but I only let it get so far out of fear I wasn’t good enough or it would be taken away. When I made the commitment to get well I was faced with that self-hatred and told I had to learn to love myself, the voices in my head screamed, YOU CAN’T! But anything is possible when we are willing, and with a determination to get well I set out to find the love within myself. It was difficult at the start, I was at a place where I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror, never mind find things within myself to love, but was challenged, each day, to find those things, or on many days, just one thing, to start. And like anything, the most difficult task is always to start, but as I started to shift my focus from the bad to the good, I slowly started finding more things to love about myself, and it was slow, but it happened. I had to be mindful, and still do, each day to keep my heart in a place of gratitude, because that was, and is, where my love comes from, and grows.

As human beings we seem to be on the search for love most often, we instinctively gravitate toward it, when we are able to find it in ourselves or except it from others. And perhaps there is something to my friend’s story, I’ve heard similar stories from others, that we, deep in our souls, search for it because it brings us closer to what we know, to God, or a spiritual connection, or to a place we feel safe.

Open yourself to love, and find the love within yourself, appreciate that love and who you are, and share that love with others. Love really can heal, it can perform miracles, and it can bring joy to even those who just witness it. Spread your love today. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you able to find the love within yourself? If not, why not? If yes, how do you find it and what does it feel like for you? Have you always had this love or have you had to go seeking it within? How did you do that? If you haven’t found love within yourself, how can you, today, begin looking for it? How do you feel when you receive it? Or, give it? Focus on that feeling SLAYER, and look for that love inside yourself, it may just start with you imagining how it feels with others and imagining that within. It starts with a spark and if you continue to feed it, that spark becomes a burning flame.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you