Good morning SLAYER! Give love because it’s what you feel, not what you want to receive.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
well-being
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! The best is yet to come.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
The Yets
Many of us know we need to make changes in our lives, or may need outside help, but we delay what we need because we set boundaries or lines that we haven’t crossed yet. The yets are those things we have yet to do, those things that would make us see just how bad things have gotten and really prove to us that we need help or need to make some changes. We compare ourselves to others to gauge whether we’re there yet, we make sure that we spend time with others who we see as worse off than we are because we’re not there yet, and we try to diagnose ourselves with other things or make excuses for our behaviors or choices because we aren’t ready to admit the truth, yet. The yets keep us sick. The yets are also something that keep getting pushed further and further back to bigger stakes and more drastic results so that we can keep living the way we are and we never cross that final yet, until we do. Some of us do cross that final yet and never get the chance to recover. I’ve known people who never got that chance, there wasn’t another yet waiting for them, and even though they might not have wanted to die, that final yet was too much to come back from, or, they just ran out of chances.
We seem to think, when we’re living in the yets, that we’ll have infinite tries to get it right, infinite yets to cross, and infinite time to do it in. We don’t. And, what we don’t seem to realize in the yets is that just as we have control over how many yets we give ourselves, and how bad they get, we also have control of when we can say enough and stop the trajectory we’re on and seek help, or make some changes so we never get to that next yet. As I’ve said before, we hold the key to our own suffering, and we also hold the key to our own well-being.
The key for me was seeing that the yet that was waiting for me was death. There were likely some other bad yets I would cross before that last one, but at the rate I was ticking off the yets I would likely bypass those, and that suffering, to jump to the end. The reality of that end scared me enough I surrendered and asked for help. There’s a saying, you don’t have to ride the truck all the way to the dump, and it’s true, you can, but what’s waiting for you there is a pile of garbage, you can get off at any time, and likely should have already. I chose to get off the truck before it’s final destination and get help.
If you find yourself in a place of saying you haven’t done THAT yet, you’ve probably already crossed some lines in your life you’d thought you never would, and, you’re probably not living your life in a truthful and honest way that honors you and your spirit. The only place where the yets should be in your life is when you’re pushing yourself to grow, to push your own boundaries, to go after your dreams, to make positive choices in your life, because the yets can also be used as a positive tool to keep you moving forward so you don’t stay stuck.
See if you can turn your yets around and make them work for you to get you on a path of recovery, positivity and growth. Set yourself up for success by placing a road map of yets in front of you that will get you to the destination you’ve dreamed of, and, if you don’t know all of the yets that will get you there, start with the ones that you know, and trust that the rest will reveal themselves when you’re ready for them. Make your yets work for you, not destroy you. As in most things in life, the choices is yours. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have a list of yets you said you would never crossed, but have? What are they? What yets have you yet to cross? What do you think will happen if you do? Do you think you can come back or recover from them? What if you don’t, or can’t? What stops you from making positive changes in your life so you don’t reach your next yet? What can you do to change that? How can you make a positive list of yets to replace the old ones? What can you do to get to your first positive yet? We can use what used to destroy us to make us better, it’s just about changing our aim and focus, making better choices, and being accountable to this new way of life. We can choose to live our best life yet, one day at a time, starting right now.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Respond; don’t react. Listen; don’t talk. Think; don’t assume.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! What you focus on today can change all your tomorrows.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! The mind is like a parachute, it only works when it’s open.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
New blog goes up on Friday, until then…SLAY on!
It’s OK To Give Yourself A Break
I’ve been shooting on location, and the days have been long. The other night I got back to my hotel room and had many pages of dialogue to memorize for the next day, with an early morning start time. I sat, conflicted, as I knew I had a blog due to be posted the next morning. I needed to get to bed so I could be ready for work the next day. It would be the first time since launching the blog that I would not have a new blog posted when I typically do. I felt, for a moment, like I had failed. And then I remembered that failing would have been sitting up for an extra hour, when I should be sleeping, and forcing myself to write because that was what was expected instead of taking care of myself. Even as I have learned and practiced self-care, and talk about it’s importance here at State Of Slay™, I still fell victim to my old thinking of having to get something done ahead of my own need to rest. And, even when I made the right decision, to repost a popular blog from the past, I still had an inkling of guilt about not putting out a new blog.
So, last night I got home from set, late, and, had to memorize many pages of dialogue for today, and found myself in the same situation, and so I, last night, I also needed to give myself a break, do my work and get to bed.
A reminder to all you SLAYERS out there, to do the same, to recognize when you need to let go of what you think you have to do and just take care of yourself. Nothing is more important than that. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Every time you’re able to find the humor in a situation, you win.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Laughter: A Sign Of Good Health
When I first stepped onto my healing path, laughter felt impossible.
There was nothing funny about where I found myself. Emotionally, physically, spiritually I was exhausted. My life felt fragile. Every moment felt heavy. I was focused on survival, not joy.
So when I began seeking support from others who had walked similar roads, one thing surprised me.
They laughed.
Not in denial. Not in avoidance. Real laughter. Honest laughter. Healing laughter.
At first, I did not understand it. How could someone laugh about struggles, mistakes, pain, or dark seasons? But slowly I began to realize something powerful.
Laughter was not dismissing the pain.
It was proof they had moved through it.
And that realization gave me hope.
The Healing Power Of Humor
My mom has always said, “If I lose my sense of humor, I lose everything.”
She said it through illness, discomfort, uncertainty, and some very difficult seasons. Watching her hold onto humor even in pain showed me that laughter is not about circumstances. It is about resilience.
When I began my own recovery, I held onto that wisdom. The work ahead of me was serious. I had to face truths, take responsibility, and learn new ways of living. But I did not have to take myself so seriously all the time.
That distinction changed everything.
Humor did not erase the work. It helped me carry it.
And sometimes, laughter was the only light available in an otherwise heavy day.
When Laughter Becomes A Bridge
Something unexpected happened as my healing progressed.
I began laughing with others who had similar experiences.
We laughed about things that once felt devastating. Not because they were trivial, but because we had survived them. Laughter became a shared language of understanding. It created connection, compassion, and perspective.
There is something incredibly bonding about laughing with someone who truly understands your journey. It reminds you that you are not alone. It transforms isolation into community.
And that connection is powerful medicine.
Laughter does not isolate. It invites.
The Difference Between Healing Humor And Hiding Humor
I also had to learn an important distinction.
For years I had used humor as armor. I deflected serious conversations. I made jokes instead of admitting pain. I laughed things off rather than facing them.
That kind of humor keeps healing at a distance.
True healing laughter feels different. It comes from humility, acceptance, and growth. It does not belittle yourself or others. It does not minimize reality. It simply allows joy to exist alongside truth.
Once I understood that, laughter stopped being a shield and became a source of strength.
And that shift made all the difference.
Perspective Changes Everything
Looking back now, some of the choices I made during difficult periods honestly make me laugh.
At the time, I justified everything. I believed I was coping, surviving, protecting myself. But hindsight brings clarity. And sometimes, clarity brings humor.
Not mocking. Not shame.
Perspective.
Being able to laugh at past versions of myself means I have grown. It means I am no longer stuck there. It means healing happened.
And that is something worth smiling about.
Why Laughter Supports Mental And Emotional Health
There is actual science behind this too.
Laughter reduces stress hormones, increases endorphins, supports immune function, and improves emotional regulation. It relaxes the body, shifts perspective, and enhances connection with others.
But beyond biology, laughter signals something deeper.
Hope.
When you can laugh again, even gently, it often means healing has begun.
It means you are reconnecting with life.
And that is powerful.
Finding Light In Dark Seasons
There were days when finding humor felt impossible. Those days happen to everyone. Healing is not linear, and laughter does not mean everything is perfect.
Sometimes it just means you found one small moment of light.
One memory. One conversation. One silly observation. One unexpected smile.
And sometimes that small moment is enough to carry you forward.
Laughter does not deny hardship.
It coexists with it.
And often, it helps transform it.
SLAY Reflection
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: When was the last time you laughed freely, and how did it make you feel afterward?
L: Do you ever use humor to hide how you really feel instead of expressing it honestly?
A: What difficult moment from your past can you now look at with compassion or even gentle humor?
Y: How could inviting more lightness into your life support your healing and emotional health right now?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
How has laughter helped you heal, cope, or find perspective during a difficult season?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who could use a reminder that joy can exist alongside struggle, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
