kindness

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! One word can change someone’s entire day.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Good People

Smize, It Might Just Change Your Life

For most of my adult life, I believed that strength meant hiding my feelings. But during these times, when our faces are hidden behind masks, I’ve realized just how much we rely on simple gestures to connect. I used to share smiles freely, but now, I’ve had to get creative.

It reminded me of Tyra Banks and her famous “smize”—smiling with your eyes. I chuckled, thinking how those skills could come in handy today. While it might seem silly, that little spark of connection through our eyes can make a big difference, especially when we feel disconnected from one another.

Small Gestures, Big Impact
I’ve always believed in the power of simple acts—saying thank you, sharing a smile, letting someone know they’re seen. But with masks and distancing, it takes extra effort. And that effort makes it even more meaningful.

Now, I find myself waving, giving a thumbs-up, or sharing a kind word. These small acts might seem insignificant, but they create a ripple effect of compassion. When we step out of our own discomfort to connect with others, it not only lifts their spirits but ours too.

From Isolation to Connection
When I was living in the dark, I wanted to hide from the world. I didn’t want anyone to see my pain. I avoided interaction, kept my head down, and hurried through my days. But on my path to healing, I was encouraged to do the opposite—to look up, to smile, to reach out.

At first, it felt forced and uncomfortable. My anxiety spiked. I thought I had nothing to offer. But I was told to “act as if” I believed I did. And slowly, as I made the effort to smile, to thank someone, to ask how their day was, something shifted. People responded with warmth and gratitude. I began to feel connected, and my anxiety eased.

A Simple Connection Matters
The truth is, we don’t always know what others are going through. A smile, a kind word, or even a “smize” might be the only positive interaction someone has that day. It might be the thing that lifts their spirits or reminds them they’re not alone.

Especially now, when the world feels uncertain and heavy, these small acts of kindness carry weight. They remind us that we’re in this together. Even a simple acknowledgment—a wave, a nod, a smile through the eyes—can be a beacon of light in someone’s day.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you go out of your way to let people know they matter while you’re out?

  • How do you do that?

  • What can you do to do more?

  • How have people done that with you? Have you appreciated it?

  • How did that make you feel?

  • What can you do today to let someone know they matter?

  • How is that different than how you would usually do it?

We all have the power to make someone’s day brighter. And by doing so, we make our own days a little brighter too. Smize on, SLAYER.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one small act of kindness you’ll try today to brighten someone’s day?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s inspire each other with simple ways to stay connected.

And if you know someone who needs a little light today, send this to them.
Sometimes, a simple gesture reminds us we’re not alone.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Reset. Readjust. Restart. Refocus. As many times as you need to.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Another Chance

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Are You Addicted To Power, Possessions, People and Praise?

As I sit down to write this Christmas Eve I am thinking about the true spirit of the holiday. For many, religious, but for all a time of giving, of sharing and one of kindness. It’s easy to get caught up in the craziness of buying and receiving gifts, looking for the perfect gift, or, trying to find the one that will impress or one-up someone else. The act of gift giving often gets lost in our own selfish wants or needs and our expectations are raised to a level that no matter what the response, they’ll never be good enough.

For those with a lot, we may use that power to position ourselves to feel better than, to give in a grand way that overshadows others and to make ourselves feel superior, or the best. We may get caught up on that list of things we want, that list we think we have to have, and are expecting to get, and if one of those things are not found wrapped with our name on it, the whole holiday is a bust sending us into self-pity and emptiness. We may also be addicted to people, fearing the quiet of spending some time alone, we jump from event to event, gathering to gathering, in the hope to fill that void and drown out those voices in our heads telling us things we don’t want to hear or face. And, there are those of us too who feed off of the praise of a gift well given or found, turning the gift giving experience away from the recipient and their appreciation or enjoyment of it, and shining the spotlight back on ourselves for the praise coming our way for a job well done. None of these scenarios demonstrate the true meaning of this holiday season, and yet, how many of us fall into one or more of these categories?

I admit, I used to identify with all of these, depending on the year, I tried to use that fuel to try to light the fire within, but the reality of it was, that it never really did, not for long, and soon after I was left with that empty feeling again and searching for the next thing to try to fill it up. I was never able to fill it up until I got rigorously honest with myself and sought help. I was trying to fill a void I could not, not with the tools I had, and not with material things or praise from others, I had learn that I was the most valuable gift I could receive and I had to learn to praise myself, and believe it, for the good I was able to do, for myself, and others. And speaking of others, that was the key. Participating in selfless acts of kindness, especially without others knowing about it. The act of doing something for someone else is the gift, the acknowledgment of it is not what’s important, or shouldn’t be so. We perform an act of kindness because we want to, that’s it, and even if it’s never known it was us, or, if it isn’t acknowledged in a way we would have thought, it doesn’t take away that act, that act is the thank you to yourself, a thank you to who you are and what you stand for, there is no need for any praise past the act, but it is OK if there is, as long as you’re not seeking it.

As we head out this holiday season remember what the purpose of it truly is. Look for ways to spread love and kindness, and perhaps even joy, with those you spend your days and nights with. It is a time to give back, to share a laugh, to give a helping hand, and to give the gift that is most precious, your time. Go out there and be love, be you and be grateful for what you have, so even if you don’t get everything you had hoped for, you will know you have everything you need, and that is the greatest gift of all. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you get caught up in power, possessions, people and praise over the holiday season? How so? How does this harm you? How has this gotten in the way of your enjoyment of the holidays? How has it gotten in the way of your relationships? What can you do to prevent that from happening this year? What do you think your greatest gift is? Why don’t you focus on sharing that this holiday season, and see how that act of sharing yourself makes the difference this year. No matter what your plans are this holiday season, make your goal not to be the best, but to share your best self.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Thank those who walk with you on your journey.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Be Kind

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Don’t let anyone who doesn’t know your worth set it’s value.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Worth Discounts

Know Your Worth

Before walking this path, I didn’t know my worth, in fact, I didn’t think I had any. Even when I found success, or was complimented, I didn’t believe I was worthy of it, and many times, I thought if someone was praising me for a job well done that they were lying and had ulterior motives. I never thought I was good enough or worthy of what I wanted, yet I was in fear of never getting those same things, or loosing the ones I had. It was a horrible place to live, and yet I lived there for most of my life. And ultimately, I almost didn’t believe my life was worth saving, but that little part of me that did, fought like hell to survive.

When I set out on a path of self-love and recovery, I had to hold on to the part of me that believed I was worth the work. When the road got tough, it was that part of me that got me through, that wouldn’t let me give up and dug it’s heels in and kept me moving forward, even if the steps were slow and small. Each time I moved forward I gained a little more self-worth, the act itself of pushing through and not giving up was building my belief that I was worth the fight, and I was, and still am. My self-worth also grew as I was able to be of service to other people, something I thought I didn’t have much to give but realized that even at the beginning of my journey, I still had a lot to offer someone who had just started, sometimes more than those who were much farther along, because it was easier for someone just starting to relate to me, still new, and still learning as I went. Those acts of kindness and compassion continued to expand my self-worth. And as I got further down the path I realized how important it was to protect my self-worth and what my worth really was. There are those who try to take advantage, or work out a deal that is really in their favor, stripping our worth in the process, and if we ourselves are unclear of our worth, or don’t think we have any, we will fall victim to those people time and time again. It is important to stand up, when something isn’t right, and say so, knowing and owning your worth. For me, self-love played a big hand in me realizing my worth, because if I was loving myself, and participating in acts that were loving to myself, I wasn’t going to tolerate someone else not honoring my worth, and, I certainly wasn’t going to participate in any acts that would diminish or dishonor anyone else’s.

We all have worth, and we all deserve to be treated with worth, and, we all should acknowledge others people’s worth. When we know our own worth we stop putting ourselves in harms way, we stop inviting people into our lives who disrespect us and start to contribute and look for loving acts in our lives, each of those acts builds more worth. We all have value, we all have worth, and it’s important to find ours and own it as we navigate through our journey and to see where that path with take us. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you know your worth? If yes, how. If not, why not? Have you already known your worth, or have you discovered it along the way? If you don’t know your worth, why do you think you don’t have any or much? Did you ever feel you had it and lost it? If so, what happened? Finding your worth is an integral part to having healthy relationships in your life, respectful business or working interactions and the fuel you need to propel you forward to where you want and should go. Write out all of what gives you worth, and if you have trouble thinking of them, ask a trusted friend, sometimes we can see our worth through someone else’s eyes, but what’s most important is, finding it, and owning it, that’s when positive changes begin to happen.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Hate is heavy, let it go.

SLAY on!
State Of Slay Ill Mind

 

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Words are singularly the most powerful force we have, and we have the choice to use that force constructively or destructively.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Words Add Value

The Power Of Words

I was having a conversation the other day about the power of words. The words we say aloud, and most importantly, the words we say internally to ourselves. Our words have more power than we think. Our words power what we think. Our words can change how we feel and can change how others feel. They can uplift us and can tear us down. But we get to choose what words have power over us, and what words have what meaning to us and our lives. And, we get to choose how we use our words.

When I was struggling to find the light in my life my inner dialogue was powerful, I gave it the power to keep me there, to only see the darkness, and I let my words speak a narrative that wasn’t authentic to who I was, but would tell the narrative I wanted to tell. The more I said them, them the more I believed them. My words kept me sick, and were making me sicker. I sought out people or situations where I would find the same words, so I was never hearing anything different. I didn’t realize that my words had the power they did, or that I even had power over them, it just seemed like a running dialogue of negativity that I couldn’t escape from.

It wasn’t until I made the choice to find a solution that I started to realize the power of my words, and, how I could get power over them. If I was going to get better and start loving myself, I had to start using my words for good, my good, and stop letting them tear me down. At first I struggled to find the words that were going to start a positive change in my life, but I was encouraged to look for what I was grateful for, what I saw in my life that was positive, and start saying those things out loud. To start, it wasn’t easy, but even if I could think of one thing, I would write it down, put it in my pocket, and when the negative words started to flow, I would take that piece of paper out and say those positive words out loud. The key for me was to say them out loud, to hear myself say them, and as I practiced this I began to find more positive words to say and more things I was grateful for. Those words started the change, and I started to realize that my words could make change, in myself, and those around me. I realized that I had the power to do that, and set out to lay down the foundation of positivity in what I was saying. I also began to realize that my words could move me forward in a direction I wanted to go, that they could propel me to a place that I had only dreamed of, and because I was saying it, and because I was doing the work, that place was now within my reach.

Today I work to choose my words carefully. I use them to shoot forward, like an arrow, of where I want to go, I use them to stamp out my fear, to congratulate myself when I overcome something in my life that I have been challenged by in the past, I use them to encourage myself, and those around me, and I have learned to listen and seek out others who speak the words I speak or want to speak. When we learn to use our words to guide ourselves in the direction we want to, we take power over our words and where we’re going, our words are more powerful than we think. Use your words carefully because you are listening. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you understand the power of your words? What do you use your words for mostly? To lift you up, or tear yourself down? If you use them to tear yourself down, why do you make that choice? How does it hold you back? What words do you use around others? Do you speak more kindly towards others than yourself? Why is that? What if you chose to speak kinder words to yourself? What do you think the result would be? Feel the power of your words, the power they have within yourself and out in the world, and you decide what energy you want to put behind them, that choice is yours.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you