Gratitude

Thank You Is An Action Word

Saying thank you can mean a lot, to acknowledge what someone has done and to let them know they’ve made a difference, but saying thank you just isn’t enough, just as saying sorry isn’t enough without changed behavior, thank you isn’t where your gratitude should end.

When I started on my journey of recovery I was freely offered a lot of help. I realized that I needed that help, as going it alone had gotten me to a personal bottom and I realized that asking for help was not only not a sign of weakness, but was required to find a solution to the way I had been living my life. I was never going to succeed on my own, and as much as that was a bruise to my ego, I had to learn to humbly accept the help and guidance from others. When I did that my road became less treacherous and became filled with others like myself working toward the same goal. I learned to walk with them, to listen to them and to lean on them when the road got tough, and as I began to feel better I started to think about how I could ever repay so many who gave me their time when I needed it. I was told to give back, to share what I had learned with others who may need to hear it as they walked their journey, and that was how I repay them and say thank you.

I think about that in my life daily, no matter what the situation or who it is, what action can I take to say thank you because the words aren’t enough. To truly say thank you you should demonstrate it in your life, every day, that is the truest way to say thank you, to show it in your actions. When we think of thank you as an action word it changes our thinking, it causes us to pause and think of how we can say thank you by what we do, not just saying the words, and how showing kindness to others is a way we can say thank you to someone else who helped us past just seeing ourselves and our own problems and sharing ourselves with someone else. Thank you is a way of life, not just something we feel in a moment and then move on, when we live in a place of thank you we carry gratitude in our heart and we look for ways to share that in hopes of allowing someone else to find peace, or support or acknowledgment, and when we do that we are also sharing that thank you, or gratitude, with ourselves, that we are in a place today where we are able to find some compassion for others and share a positive message or moment.

Next time, before you simply say thank you, think about what what action you can take to show how thankful you are, to not simply say thank you in a moment, but let that thanks continue from that moment on. How can you take action and say thank you today? SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often say thank you when you want to acknowledge something someone has done for you? How do you do that? Do you just say the words or do you find a way to show how you thankful you are? Are there people in your life who have, or continue to support you, throughout, or for a portion of your life? How do you say thank you to them? Do you have a difficult time saying thank you, or finding a way to say it that measures up to how you feel? Many times we can say thank you just by living life as our best selves and giving back where we can. We can show our gratitude by sharing it with others and by living our life in a positive, healthy and thankful way, that may be the best way, and many times is, to say thank you to someone who has helped you during a tough part of your journey, or through a difficult time. Like many things in life, thank you, comes full circle, it doesn’t just stop with the person or people who directly helped you, if you take the action, it can be spread out to anyone in your life and continue to work through you as you continue from here.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

When Eating A Piece Of Fruit, Thank The Person Who Planted The Tree

We live in a society that is all about consumption. It’s about being the first, about going faster and wanting more. We consume all day long, most of the time without thought. We are glued to our screens while we eat, while we walk and many of us even have a hard time staying present when we’re taking part in an activity we love. We, if unchecked, can walk through life blindly, having no awareness of what, or who, is around us, and how what it may have taken for us to enjoy what we do each day. I have a friend who once encouraged me to thank my house for protecting me, for keeping me warm or cool and for giving me a home. I first I kind of chucked to myself, but then I thought about it, and yes, I was grateful to come home to a place of safety, a place I enjoyed and was proud of, so why wouldn’t I say thank you. When we think about those every day things we may take for granted and we begin to appreciate what they do for us, what they give us in return, and, the work or effort that went in to those things before we used or consumed them, it sets us up to live in a place of gratitude, and while we’re in the place, we are not only happier in our own lives but we share that joy with those around us.

We are conditioned to always want something new, or what someone else has, social media plays a big part in this, and even though we know that what we’re seeing may not, and likely is not, the truth, we still judge our own lives compared to what we see. When we turn that energy into being thankful for what we do have and what has gone into each of the things we have that self-judgment and measuring our lives to those around us slips away, and we focus on all the good we have, and trust me, whether we are where we’d like to be right now, we all have a lot of good in our lives, starting with a roof over our heads. Give thanks each day, thank your home for protecting you, thank you car for getting you to where you need to go, thank your body for moving you around and giving the means to express yourself, be thankful for everything you have and everything you touch, and stop and think about how that came to be, the work, the craftsmanship, the design, the labor, appreciate it all and when you do it is a way of giving thanks, to all of those people who have played a part, but in your life as a whole. Even when we find ourselves in a tough spot, or feeling down, or struggling, we have a lot, and when we start to focus on what we do have we lose focus on what we don’t.

Take a moment today to be thankful for all of the things that make your day easier, better, safer, brighter, and better. Pause and be grateful, and work to slow yourself down as you navigate through your busy life to not just consume and a rapid pace, to think about what you have and how those things give back to you, it’s time you gave back to those things and said thank you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think about how grateful you are to have what you have, or do you focus on what you want or what you don’t have? If you are grateful, how do you show that gratitude? If you don’t, what do you think you get in return by focusing on what you don’t have our what you want? How do you think it will change your perspective to start looking at your life with gratitude? Why don’t you start right now. Write a list of all of the things you are grateful for, and then think about who or what has made those things possible, find gratitude and give thanks to them. Living our lives in gratitude changes our thinking from negative to positive and when we have a positive outlook our world gets bigger and brighter, which we then share with others. Be thankful and give thanks for what you have, carry that gratitude in your heart as you navigate through your busy day, remembering to slow down to acknowledge all that you have.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You have the power to say, this is not how my story is going to end. Your story isn’t over yet ;

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Ends The Chances

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Suicide doesn’t take the pain away, it passes it to someone else.

If you need someone to talk about Your pain, please reach out to someone. Suicide Prevention Resources

State Of Slay Yellow Care

Suicide Prevention- No Shame

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. A day that is particularly important to me. As a survivor it is a reminder of the place I came from, and the importance of ending the stigma that mental health issues are something to hide and be ashamed of. My shame of my disease kept me silent, and that silence nearly cost me my life. Approximately 1 and 5 adults experience mental illness in any given year in the United States. 1 in 5. Think about that. Anywhere you go, when you look around, 1 and 5 of those people you see are experiencing or have experienced some form of mental illness. So, why are we so afraid to talk about it? Why is there shame around something that so many us all share?

I know for myself I was afraid of being labeled “crazy,” of possibly being in an institution, whether a real threat or imagined, I was afraid of people looking at me differently, of possibly being medicated, something that frightened me as I had seen the side-effects of certain medications in my life having a negative effect, and, I was afraid of being seen as broken, or damaged. Those were the fears that kept me from reaching out and getting the help I needed. I was ashamed at how I was living my life, and my ego and pride stopped me for many years from finding the humility and courage to ask for help. It was someone who shared his story with me, who recognized what I was struggling with, and opened his heart to me about his journey that opened the door for my recovery. I appreciated his courage to share himself with me in that way, and his courage to seek treatment. I could see how his life was today and how he had changed, but I wasn’t quite ready in that moment to identify myself as having the same mental illness. Lucky for me, that story planted a seed, and a few months later, that seed had started to grow, and I realized that I did recognized myself in his story from what it had been like for him. It was the first time I felt like it was safe to tell someone the truth about the place I found myself in, the daily struggle just to get through each day and my constant hope that I would just die in my sleep and make the pain go away. But, in reality, I didn’t want to die, I just, on my own, didn’t know how to make the pain stop, but by asking for help I later found many people who did.

The key to my recovery, and my life today, was my ability to be honest with myself, and those who could help me. I found, that when I did reach out for help that there was an abundance of it, and a community of people who understood what I was going through who rallied around me in support. I learned that what I thought was something to be ashamed of was something that connected me to that community, and to many people who were already in my life who understood my struggle, and that connection meant I wasn’t alone. No one in my life turned away from me. There were certainly those who understood more than others, but those who did not asked questions and attempted to understand. Today, having nearly double digit recovery from my attempt, I am grateful to be here, to have the life I have today, and to be able to share my journey with others who may need to hear that there is hope, there is hope.

The more we talk about something the more it loses it’s power over us, the more that shame we may carry disappears and the more it give others permission to be honest about themselves. Everyone needs help sometime, and there is nothing wrong with reaching out your hand and asking for help. The day I tried to end my pain, I remember regretting what I had done, and when I talk with other survivors, I typically hear the same from them, I was lucky that I was given a second chance, but many do not get that chance, and I wonder how many regretted what they had done after they had done it, probably many.

I am here today to share my story, share my hope, share my light for the person that may be sitting in the dark, there is help all around you, there truly is, sometimes it may not be where you think it is, or where you think it should be, but it’s there. Share you truth and open your heart to finding the help you need, never be ashamed of the place you are right now, because where you are right now may just be where you need to be to get to the place you are meant to be, a place where you can be proud of who are you and who you are, and a place where your courage may just inspire someone else to find theirs. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you share your truth with those around you, or those you trust, or keep your feelings inside? If you don’t share your truth, why don’t you? Do you try? What stops you? Have you shared your truth in the past? What was the result? If it wasn’t a good result, is it possible you may have shared your truth with the wrong person or persons? Who can you share your truth with? There is no shame in needing help.

If you are not sure who or how to reach out, here are a list a resources you can trust. Suicide Help Resources

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Searching For Love

I’ve been spending time with family this week, my fiance’s family, a family I’m enjoying getting to know more and more, and we’ve been talking a lot about love and life. As I plan for my wedding, a big milestone, and a celebration of love, it brings up a lot of emotions, for us, as a couple, and for family and friends who are on this journey with us. We’ve had some spontaneous beautiful moments that all center around love. Our conversations have often gone to memories of new beginnings, of birth, of heartfelt moments, and endings, but through it all, the through line to all of those moments and memories is love. We look for love, are attracted to love and, hopefully, give love. There’s a reason why so my songs have been written about it, and according to The Beatles, “Love Is All You Need.” We probably need more than just love, but love is the center of most things we do, it is something that motivates us, challenges us, and for some of us, something we are constantly searching for.

I had a friend share with me a near death experience she had, she described it in detail, but what has always stayed with me is her describing how she felt in the place her soul went, she said to me, the only way to describe how I felt where was was love, but that doesn’t even come close to the feeling, she said, what I felt doesn’t exist here on earth, and I think we are always searching for it, and the closest thing we have here is love. I think we do always look for love, or gravitate toward it, and why not, for the most part, it feels great, to give it and receive it, but the love I’ve found for myself is the love that allows me to fully enjoy the love around me.

For most of my life I hated myself, there was no love, I was full of anxiety and self-hatred for who I thought I was and that dominated my thoughts and actions. That self-hatred stood in the way of most true love that I had in my life because I didn’t believe I deserved it. I loved to the best of my ability, but I only let it get so far out of fear I wasn’t good enough or it would be taken away. When I made the commitment to get well I was faced with that self-hatred and told I had to learn to love myself, the voices in my head screamed, YOU CAN’T! But anything is possible when we are willing, and with a determination to get well I set out to find the love within myself. It was difficult at the start, I was at a place where I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror, never mind find things within myself to love, but was challenged, each day, to find those things, or on many days, just one thing, to start. And like anything, the most difficult task is always to start, but as I started to shift my focus from the bad to the good, I slowly started finding more things to love about myself, and it was slow, but it happened. I had to be mindful, and still do, each day to keep my heart in a place of gratitude, because that was, and is, where my love comes from, and grows.

As human beings we seem to be on the search for love most often, we instinctively gravitate toward it, when we are able to find it in ourselves or except it from others. And perhaps there is something to my friend’s story, I’ve heard similar stories from others, that we, deep in our souls, search for it because it brings us closer to what we know, to God, or a spiritual connection, or to a place we feel safe.

Open yourself to love, and find the love within yourself, appreciate that love and who you are, and share that love with others. Love really can heal, it can perform miracles, and it can bring joy to even those who just witness it. Spread your love today. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you able to find the love within yourself? If not, why not? If yes, how do you find it and what does it feel like for you? Have you always had this love or have you had to go seeking it within? How did you do that? If you haven’t found love within yourself, how can you, today, begin looking for it? How do you feel when you receive it? Or, give it? Focus on that feeling SLAYER, and look for that love inside yourself, it may just start with you imagining how it feels with others and imagining that within. It starts with a spark and if you continue to feed it, that spark becomes a burning flame.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Make Your Life A Masterpiece

This week, we’re staying with family, surrounded by beautiful art. On every wall hangs a piece of our hostess’s work or contributions from others. I find myself getting lost in the stories these pieces tell—their artistry and expression of life. It made me think: we are all the artists of our own lives. We hold the brush, and we can fill our days with expressions of who we are.

You don’t have to be an artist to create a masterpiece. Masterpieces can be found in the way we care for our family, in the hobbies that bring us joy, in a dance, a kind word, or a simple act of love. Anything that expresses our spirit and who we truly are becomes our art.

But life can bog us down. We get caught up in obligations, societal expectations, or the need to present a curated version of ourselves to the world. We forget to live out loud and express our authentic selves in whatever form that takes.

Finding Light in the Darkness

When I was lost in my disease, my life was devoid of color. I couldn’t imagine that I had anything beautiful to contribute to the world. My mind convinced me that any light I once had was gone. As an artist, that belief was soul-crushing.

But when I committed to getting better, I fought every day to rediscover the color in my heart. I clung to gratitude—anything that would keep me moving toward light instead of darkness. Slowly, the color crept back in. I learned that I was capable of many masterpieces, more than I had ever imagined. Some days, my masterpiece was simply a smile.

Our masterpieces start from within. How we choose to express them is deeply personal and uniquely ours.

Art Is Everywhere

As I sit here, surrounded by this art, I am struck by the passion and beauty poured into each piece. These works inspire me—and perhaps they can inspire you—to create your own art. Your expression may look different, but the essence is the same: honoring your spirit and sharing it with the world.

On a day-to-day level, masterpieces can take any form. A heartfelt conversation. A helping hand. A gesture of love. These acts, however small, are works of art that reflect the beauty inside you.

SLAY Reflection: What Is Your Masterpiece?

  1. How do you express your true spirit to the world?

  2. What beauty in your life can you share more freely?

  3. In what new ways can you let your light shine?

  4. Have you held back your creativity or gifts? Why?

  5. What’s one small way you can share your masterpiece today?

You have a gift to share, SLAYER. Your light may just inspire someone else to begin their masterpiece. So pick up your brush and create.

SLAY on.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
How do you share your own light, and what’s one masterpiece you’re ready to create?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck or uninspired, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little spark.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You may have no idea just how much you already have. Count your blessings today.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Fairtale

Someone Is Praying for What You Have Right Now

It’s easy to forget how far we’ve come.

On the hard days—when we feel lost, stuck, or like we’re not where we think we should be—it can be hard to see our own progress. We lose sight of the blessings. We downplay our growth. We focus on what’s missing instead of what’s already here.

But the truth is, someone out there is praying for what you have right now.

Even if it feels small to you. Even if you’re struggling. Even if today doesn’t feel like a victory.
To someone else, your “hard day” might look like a dream come true.

Gratitude Lives in Perspective

Not long ago, I was sitting with a group of women I see regularly. One of them was sharing how far she’s come over the last three years, and she said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“On the days I feel low, I remind myself—there’s someone out there praying for what I have right now.”

That. That’s the perspective shift.

Even when we don’t feel our best. Even when things aren’t perfect. Even when we feel behind or broken or unsure—there’s someone out there who would give anything to be where we are.

Your Journey Is Worth Honoring

Everyone’s path is different. No two stories are the same. But most of us tend to minimize our own milestones, especially on the darker days. We often see our blessings last, long after others have already noticed the light within us.

But that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
You’ve come a long way—even if today doesn’t feel like it.

There were times in my life when I would’ve given anything to have the life I have now… even on my hardest day. I know what it’s like to feel like every day is a worst day. But I also know what it’s like to come through the other side—and forget, for a moment, just how far I’ve traveled.

That’s why I share my story. That’s why I speak about mental health and addiction. Because it reminds me—and others—that our stories matter. That our journeys aren’t over. And that someone out there might be waiting to hear exactly what we’ve been through so they can find their way forward.

Your Bad Day Might Be Someone Else’s Breakthrough

We’re all allowed to have our feelings. We’re allowed to be frustrated, tired, or sad. But we can also hold those feelings alongside a deep awareness of how much good exists around us.

There are people out there who would give anything for what we might take for granted. And that’s not about guilt—it’s about gratitude.

Gratitude grounds us.
It reminds us that we’ve already come through so much.
It keeps us humble.
And it helps us serve others from a place of truth, not perfection.

So even on the days when it’s hard to see the light—know that you are the light. And someone is praying for the glow you don’t even realize you have.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Are you focusing more on what you lack—or what you’ve already overcome?

  • Do you recognize the good in your life, or does your mind lean toward the negative?

  • What blessings do you have now that you once prayed for?

  • When was the last time you acknowledged how far you’ve come?

  • What steps have you taken to be where you are today?

  • How can you use gratitude to fuel your growth?

Your path has power. And your progress is worth celebrating—even on the hard days.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s something you have today that you once dreamed of having?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder of how far we’ve already come.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The only thing you can change is yourself, but that can change everything.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Attitude