Good morning SLAYER! A miracle can be the shift in perception of fear into love, dark into light.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Inspiration
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Miracles do happen.
SLAY on!
Don’t Stop Before The Miracle Happens
I was speaking last night at a rehab center in LA. I enjoy speaking to people who are at a crossroads in their life, it’s something I relate to very much, as I have had many, but one in particular where I chose to step into the light instead of slip into the darkness. We do always have a choice. I never plan what I’m going to say when I go to speak, I trust that the words will come out of my mouth that are meant to and that my story or message will land where it’s supposed to land. I was reminded last night of a miracle I experiences early on in my journey, a milestone that I had placed importance on, and that if I didn’t feel better by that milestone I would set out on my original plan to take my own life. I made a promise to myself three months earlier, that I would work to live in the light, that I would do what was suggested and dive into whatever work I needed to do to get better, and if I didn’t feel better at the end of that three months then I was free to let go. But something miraculous happened. When I hit that three month mark, having worked very hard to change the way I had been living and better myself, I no longer wanted to die. Now, I’m not saying it was all rainbows and unicorns from then on, it certainly was not, and I had a lot more work to do, but I wanted to stay and do it. By changing my actions, by doing what I could to take action in a positive way I had changed the trajectory of my life. It was, by all accounts, a miracle, as I had spent years prior wanting to die, and at that moment, on that milestone, I realized I didn’t. That was the first miracle I’ve received on this 12 year plus journey.
I’m grateful to always remember that. It reminds me that anything is possible. Change makes things possible, it’s not always easy, but when we stick to it, dedicate ourselves to it, miracles happen. They truly do. I am a living example of that, and each of us who has made it back from the depths of darkness and despair are as well.
A big part of that for me is sharing my story with others, because it not only may give someone else the hope they need to start their journey, or continue on their path, but it reminds me that miracles do happen and to keep going. That what I need to focus on is doing what’s best for me and my mental health, and when I do, and am able to be my best self, miraculous things happen. When we are at the depths of our depression, our despair, it doesn’t seem like anything will or can help, it seems hopeless, and it only is if we don’t take positive action to bring some light into our lives. And, believing we deserve to. As I’ve mentioned before, it starts with willingness, if we are willing things start to happen, it may be slow at first, but willingness opens the door, even if just a crack, and the more we take action to live in the light, the more that door opens and the more light comes in. That all may seem really daunting at first, or from where you’re sitting right now, but, you only have to do the next right thing, that’s it, just one thing, and that one thing will lead you to the next, which will lead you to the next and so on. But it starts with one thing. You don’t have to worry where all those things will lead you, just keep doing them and you will be amazed because before you know things will change, shift, get better, just by doing those small things each day. I started over 12 years ago and still do them each day, and each day I am amazed at the beauty that my life has and the many miracles that have happened along the way, but the most important miracle of all is that I am here, and that today I want to spread and share my light with others, rather than die in the dark.
Go find your miracle, stay on the path of light, and watch your life change. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you want things to be better for yourself? What gets in the way? What can you do today to step into the light, to take action and get yourself on a better path? What has stopped you in the past? Is this something real or what you tell yourself to keep yourself in the dark? Is it something someone else tells you? Why do you think they’re telling you that? No one has the right to tell you who you are and what you deserve, only you can do that. So stand up SLAYER, dust yourself off and change your path, step into the light and start the story of the rest of your life.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Most important thing in life? To remain teachable.
New blog goes up on Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
If Things Go Wrong It’s Just An Opportunity to Learn Or Do Better
We can place so much importance on something going a certain way, but no matter how much we plan, or prepare, or will it to happen, sometimes things go wrong, off course, or not at all how we intended. We can get caught up on that being a failure, and beating ourselves up for not doing it right, messing up, or add it to our long list of evidence that we are not good enough. All a failure really is is information. It’s just more facts, and those facts are telling us certain things. They may be telling us we should have done more footwork, more investigation, they may tell us we put our trust in the wrong person or people, they may tell us that our expectations were far too high and no one could have reached the goal we had set ourselves, that we may have set ourselves up to fail. Oh yes, some of us do that, I know I did in the past. Something you label as “wrong” is really just that, a label, and, well, wrong. We’re the ones who give it importance, or look at it as something negative, but most of the time we label it that way because we didn’t get our way. Nothing is right or wrong until we give it that value, so, how do we take those “wrong” things and make them into something positive.
Well, we can stop labeling them wrong to start. We can start looking at them as tools to learn from. Lessons that, if we choose to, can point us in the right direction of where we should be going, or how we can be doing better.
I used to be so stubborn I wasn’t able to get past the “loss” as I saw it, but once I started to use stubbornness for good, and got more determined to learn from my mistakes than getting caught up in not getting things my way, I started to lose that strong grip I used to try to have on all the people, places and things in life. As as I started to let go and trust that I was on the path I was meant to be on, and, that if I did the footwork to the best of my ability, even if the end result wasn’t what I had wanted or hoped for, it was what was meant to be and there was likely something within that loss that would help me grow and move forward. It’s really all just a matter of perspective, when we choose to look for the good, we see the good. Now, don’t get me wrong some loses do sting, but I’ve seen enough examples in my life of times when something didn’t go my way, only to realize later that I wasn’t ready for it, or it really wasn’t the best for me, or, there was something else waiting for me, that I have an easier time to let things go…most of the time. Getting into action, always lessens the blow.
If I’m able to look at my part, to look at where things went left instead of right, I can usually find some items that I can take action on, so that next time something like that comes up, I am better prepared to make a decisions for myself that are more aligned with who I am today, and where I am supposed to go. We don’t know everything, just what we can see and hear, but we can do our best to take the next right action or direction and not get stuck on it only be one way.
As a SLAYER we strive to walk through life with an open mind and an open heart, to learn to flow with life and all of it’s waves, twists and turns, and to learn as much as we can as we go. Once we label something bad, or wrong, we shut off much of that learning. By looking at what we can do to improve or what we can take away from a negative situation, we are setting ourselves up to grow and to trust that we have what we need at any given moment. Get out that detective hat once again and look for the facts, and, how they can start working for you. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: If something goes wrong, do you slide into a depression, or state of anger? How does that help you? How does that hurt you? What can you do to avoid that reaction next time? Think of something that seemingly went wrong recently and write down what you can learn from that experience, what you can do differently next time. Try to look at things through that perspective, to always try to strive to be better than you were yesterday. This is a lifelong journey SLAYER, there are no shortcuts, but there are do-overs, so why not make yours with better choices by using the information you’ve been getting to give yourself an easier path to navigate.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Refresh, Relax, Recharge
We all lead busy lives, wear a lot of hats, and we put ourselves under enormous pressure each day to be all things to all people, but we often forget to be there for ourselves. To unwind. To practice self-care. To recharge.
My schedule has been really busy, and I thrive on busy, but I do need to take time for myself each day to give back to myself. Some days that is harder than others. But I look for ways, even if it’s small, to do something nice for myself, or do something that I will thank myself for later. But every so often I get caught up in the rat race and I feel rundown. That feeling hit me like a ton of bricks a few days ago. I just hit a wall. Now the old me would have pushed through, not been present, probably would have been resentful, but gotten it done. My ego would have said, “well done,” but my spirit would have been gasping for air…or a nap. I am thankful that many years of work and practicing self-care gave me enough awareness that I saw the warning signs, felt them, and canceled my afternoon to take of myself for the rest of the day. And that, felt amazing.
It is easy to forget to take care of ourselves, often we are at the bottom of our own list. We run around, busy, doing things for everyone else, and forget to check in to see what we need. Or, we may feel guilty for needing anything at all. We shouldn’t. We all need some rest from time to time. That doesn’t make us weak, that doesn’t make us a loser, or less-than, it makes us healthy, self-loving individuals who make sure we are balancing our lives with stuff we need to do, stuff we want to do for others, and, stuff that let’s us unwind, and gets our torch burning again. I’ve said this many times, here at STATE OF SLAY and on my livestream SLAY TALK LIVE, we can’t offer someone something we don’t have. If our tank is empty there is nothing we give to someone else. It is of great importance that we make sure we are getting that, and doing that for ourselves. It is not selfish, it is self-love.
I know from experience, for me, that when I rundown, I start to disconnect from myself, as a way to push through the exhaustion, or pain, or stress, but when I do that I am not listening to my own wants and needs, I am just propelling myself forward, and that is when I can get hurt. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. I know, from doing it many times in the past, that I am headed for trouble when I’m in that state, and, I have put myself in dangerous situations when I’m walking around without an awareness of my own needs.
It is OK to take time for ourselves. It is OK to nourish ourselves, to love ourselves enough that we do what’s best for us. Even if that comes before someone else’s needs. Sometimes we need to slow down, and sometimes that means we have to tell someone we can’t do something, or need to reschedule for another day, and all of that is OK, it’s more than OK, it’s great. Anyone who loves you will understand, and should understand, that you need to take care of you, but most importantly, you need to understand that it is OK to take care of you. It’s great to do things for others in your life, but not that the cost of your own self-care, make sure you are taking the time in your life to refresh, relax, recharge. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you over-schedule your life? When you’re planning your days or weeks, to you schedule time to rest, do something you like, or take a break? If not, why not? Do you see that if you are run down that you don’t have much to give someone else? What can you do to refresh, relax and recharge this week? Why don’t you write that into your schedule SLAYER, schedule some YOU time, and see if that makes a difference in how smoothly your days go.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Happiness is not a destination, it is the way you choose to travel.
SLAY on!
Avoiding Happiness Is Not The Road To Happiness
Now, this one seems obvious right? But for many of us who don’t think we deserve the good, or make choices that sabotage the good in our lives, whether consciously or unconsciously, we may find ourselves in a state of frustration that we haven’t found happiness. We have to seek out happiness to find it, and to live a happy life.
Happiness is different for all of us, we all have our own definition of happiness, and there is no right or wrong, as long as you haven’t defined happiness as something that is destroying you…it happens, but we get to design and designate what our happiness is, but, to find it we have to let happiness in. And not only do we have to let it in, we have to go after it.
For me, when I first started to walk on this path I don’t think I even knew what happiness meant for me. I probably would have just rattled off a bunch of outside things that I thought I needed to be happy, I had no idea, really, of what the concept of happy was for me. As I started to get better I started to see it, I think I saw it first in others, that shine, that sparkle, I would call those people the Shiny Happy People, and I certainly wasn’t one of them, but I wanted to be, they intrigued me, so I started to hang out with them to find out their secrets. What I learned is that they had found a way to love themselves enough that they overcame the ugliness of their past, of who they were and what they had done, they had learned to forgive themselves and those around them, they had found peace, and even though that didn’t mean life had stopped happening to them, bad things still come to everyone, even to the Shiny Happy People, they had found enough happy that they were able to walk through it without throwing it all away and falling back down the rabbit hole of depression and despair. See, when you’re living a happy life, and letting happy in, that may get tarnished a bit from time to time, but life can’t take away your happy unless you give it the power to, and the key to that is continue to seek out happiness even through the tough times, and eventually those tough times will pass and you’ll fall back into a state a happiness, although, you never really left it, it just might not have been as shiny and happy as you would have liked.
We all deserve to be happy. We all deserve to have good things. But we have to let them in, go after them, believe we do deserve them for them to come to us and manifest in our lives. It can be hard, at the beginning, to ignore the negative chatter in our heads that tell us we don’t belong there, we don’t get to be happy, and to avoid happiness when we see it, but we can get there by practicing contrary action and going after it anyways, by acting “as if” and by taking action in a positive way our own mindset may change and we may just start looking for the happiness on our own, I know I did. That happiness you imagine or want yourself is out there, you just have to take the necessary steps to get there, and realize that your own happiness is whatever you deem it to be, it’s yours and can be found in most places, so get out and get it SLAYER.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you avoid happiness? If so, why? Do you think you don’t deserve to be happy or deserve good things? Why? What if you did? What if you made the decision to go after your happy, what would that look like? What can you do this week to let some happy in? To work towards your happy? No matter how small if it leads you to your happy it’s a big step in the right direction. Instead of avoiding happy, seek it out, go after it, embrace it, it may feel strange at first but soon you’ll find it feels good, and you want more of it, and before you know it you may just find yourself, well, happy. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Nothing you can reach for can fill your soul, that is an inside job that only you can fill yourself.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
