Inspiration

What Are You Going To Do About It?

We all have those days—the ones where everything feels off, and the voice in our head won’t stop pointing out what’s wrong. It’s easy to slip into negativity. To complain, spiral, and believe we’re stuck. But when the clouds gather, there’s one question that cuts through the noise:

What are you going to do about it?

Negativity Can Become a Habit

There was a time when negativity was my default. No matter what I had or how good things should’ve been, I’d find the flaw. I’d vent, criticize, and stay stuck in that cycle—not realizing I was cementing the very misery I wanted to escape.

I told myself I was making changes. But in reality, I was chasing quick fixes—temporary solutions that numbed the discomfort without addressing the root. The result? A deeper hole, darker thoughts, and more reasons to stay stuck.

It’s not just that complaining feeds negativity. It’s that it validates it. Every time I repeated my negative thoughts out loud, I gave them more power. And the more I listened, the more they became my truth.

The Power of Action

When I finally asked for help and began my healing journey, I realized how much control I actually had. Not over others. Not over circumstances. But over how I respond.

If I woke up expecting a bad day, that’s exactly what I got. But when I shifted my mindset—when I took intentional steps to create good—I started experiencing good. Not perfect. But better. Brighter.

The truth is: no one is coming to save us. We can receive support, yes. But lasting change comes when we take ownership. When we stop waiting for our life to fix itself and choose to be the one who takes action.

That’s where self-love kicks in. Not the feel-good fluff, but the real work: showing up for yourself when it’s hard. Creating small wins. Caring for your body, your mind, your spirit—even when it feels easier to quit.

From Reaction to Response

It’s easy to fall into victim mode. But that doesn’t mean we’re helpless. The shift happens the moment we pause and ask:

What can I do about this—right now?

Can I get up and go for a walk? Take a deep breath? Make a to-do list? Reach out to someone? Focus on gratitude? Take one small action that reminds me I’m in charge of my own energy?

You don’t have to fix everything at once. But doing something breaks the cycle.

Because staying in the same place and expecting a different outcome? That’s a trap. And you’re too powerful to stay stuck.

Progress Over Perfection

No one gets it right every day. Some days will be messy. You’ll slip. You’ll spiral. That’s okay.

But if you keep showing up—even imperfectly—you’ll build momentum. And over time, those small choices add up.

You’ll feel stronger.
You’ll feel braver.
You’ll start to believe in your own worth.

You deserve a life that feels good from the inside out. And it starts with asking yourself the hard question—and answering it with love.

So next time you catch yourself complaining, pause. Ask:

What am I going to do about it?

Then take the first step.

SLAY Reflection

Do you notice yourself slipping into negative thinking often? What triggers it?
How do you usually respond when those thoughts arise?
What small action helps shift you out of a negative space?
Do you believe you deserve a better experience? If not, why?
What’s one positive step you can commit to today?

S-L-A-Y:

Spot the spiral
Lean into self-awareness
Act with intention
You hold the power to change your day

Call to Action: Join the Conversation I’d love to hear from you.
When you feel stuck in negative thinking, what’s one thing you do to break the cycle?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been feeling overwhelmed or defeated, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

IMALIVE: There’s Always Me Campaign

Hello SLAYER! Excited to contribute again this year to the IMALIVE Valentine’s Day campaign #TheresAlwaysMe.

This Valentine’s week, we ask you to place a little note or card where it can be found. It is a small gesture that could go a long way.

It could even save a life.

What to do:

From February 7th – 14th get creative!
Make notes or cards to leave for others to find.
Download the poster, bookmarks or cards (by us and our supporters), print and leave for others to find.
Add our hashtag #ThereIsAlwaysMe
Take pictures and tag us, we will share them!

Join us and spread the word that #ThereIsAlwaysMe

To download my cards or others, go to IMALIVE V-Day Campaign

For more information about IMALIVE or to donate to go: IMALIVE: An Online Crisis Network

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When somebody hurts you try to understand the situation instead of just trying to hurt them back.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

Hurt People Hurt People

I was reminded of this in a conversation yesterday, and remembered myself, it really resonated because I was once one of those hurt people who hurt people. I didn’t always intend to hurt people, and then other times, I did. When we are suffering, in pain, or mentally not at our best, our hurt trickles into every relationship and every interaction we have. Many times we tell ourselves that we are only hurting ourselves, but that is not true. Our actions affect everyone around us, even if it’s only for a few minutes. We all are responsible for what we say and do, and the energy we put out to those around us. As an adult, it is not OK to hide behind an event from our past or make excuses for behaving in a way that harms others. We all have a choice of how we act, react and respond to our set of circumstances and where we find ourselves. But realizing that the people who hurt are hurting themselves also gives us some perspective of what may be happening for someone who hurts us, and the realization that their hurt has nothing to do with us.

Walking in the dark for most of my life I walked with a lot of hurt, and I carried that hurt alone because I was not able to share my truth with others, as a result, it grew, it had power over me and as a result, I believed the lies it told me. I lived in fear, every day, and I didn’t trust anyone, so I was always looking for people to hurt me, and as a countermeasure, I would hurt back, or hurt before I could be hurt. This way of life left me feeling more and more isolated and guilty for hurting those I cared about. But the sick part of me loved this behavior, more I did it the more I was proud of it, I excused it away by saying it was my shield of armor, that it protected me, but what it was really doing was keeping me sick and far from those who cared about me. It also skewed my people picker, it clouded my vision of who was good for me and who I should invite into my life, I began to invite people in who might hurt me because that’s what I thought I deserved, or it gave me an easy target to hurt when I felt compelled to do so, or, I thought I would teach them a lesson. It wasn’t until I surrendered and asked for help, and began this new way of life I live today that I realized all of the damage I had done to others, and to myself. Once I was able to clean up my side of the street and find acceptance and forgiveness for myself I was able to humbly go and make any repairs I could to those I had harmed, and each of those experiences for me were steps that helped me grow and demonstrated to me the power of our words and actions. And now, having lived my life in the light I have been able to find compassion for those, who, like myself in the past, hurt others, I don’t give them a free pass because of it, but I am able to understand where they might be coming from as a way to maybe connect to them through the pain I once lived in, rather than judging them and condemning them for it. Just like when we were kids, that bully in the playground is actually one the lowest self-esteem and likely in the most pain, it’s no different out in the world today, as adults we can do the same thing to mask our hurt.

Whether you are the individual who is hurt, or have been hurt by someone who is hurt, we have the responsibility to take care of ourselves and to behave in a way that does not harm others. There is no excuse to purposely harm someone else no matter how much pain we may be in, or what harm was done to us, we only create more hurt when we do, and, we hurt our own spirit in the process. Stop the cycle of hurt, whether it be to ourselves or those around us, and start to be a part of the solution. Spread love, compassion, understanding rather than hurt and see how that turns your own hurt around. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let your hurt hurt others? How has your hurt hurt others in the past? How does it today? Do you use your hurt to justify hurting others? How do you do this? How does that make you feel? How would you rather feel? What is your hurt based on? Is that hurt valid in your life today or is it a hurt from your past that you should let go? What keeps you holding on? How does that hurt you today? Has your hurt allowed you to recognize the hurt in others? Does it allow you to find compassion for them? Does it allow you to connect with them? Does that connection diminish your own hurt? Find the root of your hurt and focus on healing that hurt, our hurt doesn’t go away by causing others to hurt, it just makes more hurt. Let go of what hurt you and turn that energy into healing energy, for yourself, and those who may be hurting around you.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Needing approval is like saying that someone else’s opinion of you is more important than your own opinion of yourself.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Finding oneself while seeking the approval of others is the murder of self.

SLAY on!

You Can Get Anything Done If You Don’t Need Credit For It

We live in a world obsessed with recognition—likes, shares, shout-outs. But what if your greatest impact comes from what no one sees? What if your legacy isn’t built on applause, but on quiet action? What if you stopped needing credit and just… did the thing?

That was a tough pill for me to swallow. I used to chase validation like it was the prize. If I didn’t get credit, did it even count? I justified everything I did—calling it generous, kind, helpful—but really, I wanted to be seen. I wanted acknowledgment. I wanted control. But all of that masked a deeper truth: I needed to feel enough.

When I began my recovery journey, I was given a powerful suggestion: do something kind for someone—and don’t tell anyone about it. At first, that felt… impossible. If no one knew, how could I feel worthy? But I tried it anyway. And you know what? It worked. Doing good for the sake of doing good shifted something in me.

You Don’t Need Credit to Be Powerful

Let’s be real—most of us were raised in a world where “good behavior” came with gold stars. We learned that praise = worth. But here’s the truth:

When you stop seeking applause, you start discovering real power.

Doing the right thing just because it’s right builds integrity, resilience, and self-trust. It silences the inner critic. It quiets the noise. And it rewires our motivation—not for performance, but for purpose.

If your only fuel is someone else’s approval, you’ll run out of gas fast. But when you’re moved by values, by love, by truth—you become unstoppable.

Get Focused On the Mission—Not the Applause

Too often we place the success of something on whether or not it’s recognized. We post, we share, we wait for the reaction—and when it doesn’t come? We question ourselves. We downplay the win. We wonder if it was worth it.

But here’s the thing: You get to be proud even if no one claps.

The moment you detach from needing praise, you become free. Free to create. Free to give. Free to lead. When your validation comes from within, the outside world can’t shake you.

That’s how you build self-esteem—by doing esteemable acts, especially when no one is watching. Your self-worth isn’t in their hands. It never was.

Do It for You—And Let That Be Enough

Start by asking yourself: Why am I doing this? Is it to feel connected? To make a difference? To step into your purpose? Let that be your anchor.

And when you do something kind, bold, or brave? Sit with it. Let the moment speak for itself. No need to announce it. No need to chase praise. You already did the thing.

That’s the win. That’s the reward. That’s the work.

You are enough—without the tag, the trophy, or the credit. Just you, showing up in quiet, powerful ways. That’s the kind of SLAY that shifts the world.

SLAY Reflection

Do you struggle with needing validation after you’ve achieved something?
How does seeking credit impact your relationships—with others or yourself?
Have you ever done something anonymously or without recognition? How did it feel?
What motivates you more—acknowledgment or impact?
What would change if you started measuring success by how you feel rather than how you’re seen?

S-L-A-Y:

Serve from a place of purpose, not praise.
Let go of the need for credit.
Act with integrity—especially when no one’s watching.
You define your own worth.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever done something powerful without needing credit? How did that change you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck waiting for approval, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Heal the past, live in the present, dream of the future.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

Guilt Is Trying To Control The Past, Fear Is Trying To Control The Future

All we have control over is the right here and now. And even then, really, we only have control over how we respond to it. Sure, we can take action to work toward a goal, or choose actions that align with our best selves, but control, in the way we often seek it, is an illusion.

When we try to control the uncontrollable, we send ourselves spinning off into a task we cannot complete. Many times, our need or want for control manifests itself in guilt and fear. We feel guilt over what we have done in the past, over words unspoken or actions not taken. We feel fear about what has yet to happen, worrying we won’t do what we should or won’t get what we want. Neither of these places is a healthy place to live.

Instead of pouring energy into trying to control what has already happened or what has yet to come, we should focus on what we can do in this given moment.

The Trap of Guilt and Fear

When I was living in the dark, I spent a lot of time in the past and the future. The present felt lonely and terrifying. Even though I found no real comfort in reliving the past or projecting into the future, it still seemed better than facing where I was.

I spent thousands of hours berating myself over past moments, decisions, and imagined better responses. I sat paralyzed with fear over what might come next. This cycle of guilt and fear kept me sick for years, until finally the present moment became too unbearable to ignore.

Learning to Stay in the Now

It took a lot of courage to sit in the present, to truly listen, to sit still, and to focus only on what was in front of me. It was deeply uncomfortable at first. My anxiety would spike. But I was told to breathe through it, to find some comfort there. It took a lot of breathing, but the breath was the key to walking through my anxious thoughts and learning to stay rooted in the here and now.

Like any new behavior, the more it is practiced, the easier it gets—leaving room for days when it still feels almost impossible. But with willingness, it’s a practice that can be strengthened.

Reflection and Awareness

Today, my mind still wanders back to the past or into the future, but I know I can’t control either. When it happens, I take note of why. Is there unfinished business? Is my mind leaping forward because I’m avoiding something in the present?

I’ve learned that I can’t control life—past, present, or future—but I can control how I respond to it. I can control the actions I take to prepare for what’s to come and the steps I take to stay true to my path today.

The Freedom of Presence

It’s easy to escape the present by dwelling on the past or fretting over the future. But doing so robs us of the moments right in front of us—the ones that deserve our respect and love.

We all have an abundance of choices each day. All we can do is the best we can in each moment. Yes, we may look back and wish we’d done things differently, but instead of guilt, we can use those lessons to guide us. When we implement those lessons in our present day, we free ourselves from unnecessary fear about the future.

All we truly have is right here, right now. The next move is yours to make—choose the one that keeps you grounded.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY:

Do you tend to live in the past or future?
What is the result of that?
How does it help you? How does it harm you?
What keeps you from living in the present moment?
How can you change that?
What do you try to control in your life? Are you able to?
How does it affect you when you can’t?
Do you suffer from guilt or fear? How so?
SLAYER, the action we can take is in this moment—everything else is out of our hands. Use this moment to do something your future self will thank you for.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Do you find yourself stuck in guilt or fear? How do you bring yourself back to the present moment?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s wrestling with guilt or fear, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The quieter you become the more you can hear.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay™

Where Self-Love, Mental Health & Real Life Meet

Inspiration