Good morning SLAYER! Jealousy is the cousin of greed. When we focus on what we want and lose sight of what we need.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
Author: Carrie Genzel
What You Worship Will Eat You Alive
Whether you consider yourself religious, spiritual or an atheist, many of us still worship something. It may be money, clothes, ourselves, weight, beauty, travel, it can be a person, but whatever it is, whenever we place too much importance, above and beyond our own well-being, mental health and spiritual fitness, will eventually eat us alive, as what we worship will never be enough.
We can chase these material or idealistic ideas into our grave, thinking if only we just had more of it that would solve all our problems, if only we could obtain it all, then we would be enough. Nothing, that we can touch, taste or feel will ever replace peace of mind and self-love. Trust me, I tried for more than half my life. I chased clothes, shoes, handbags, beauty products, career, friends, anything I could that I thought would fill the void I felt inside, and no matter how much I got, it never did, I still felt empty, and I still hated myself. And not only did it not fill that void, it filled with me with jealousy and envy of those I thought had I wanted or needed to finally be fulfilled, and, I thought, happy. That thinking brought me down some pretty dark paths, and sparked some serious selfish motives in my day to day life. My drive, all of my thoughts, went to obtaining those things, and even when I would get what I was wanting, it was never enough, because there was always something bigger and better just out of reach. I was never going to have all of clothes, the shoes, the handbags the money, the projects, the friends, and so on, that I thought I needed to finally feel the way I wanted to feel, and that obsession brought me to a place where, realizing that, I then reached for whatever I could to numb myself so I wouldn’t feel the disappointment of that, and the fear that I was never going to fill that void inside of myself.
I had to learn that life isn’t about all of those things I thought I needed for happiness, it is about learning to love myself, and sharing that love with others. Those moments we get to share with someone else who appreciate our time and who we are, just as we are. It’s about all the stuff we can’t buy. And, it’s stuff we shouldn’t have to chase, or, it wasn’t meant for us in the first place. It turns out the trick to finding happiness was living in gratitude, it was being honest with myself, of finding forgiveness, of learning to laugh when I make mistakes, and letting my light and heart shine. There is nothing that can be bought or taken that can replace any of those things, never mind worshiped. What we should place our attention on is positive thinking, is healing, of giving back, and finding something that we can connect with that may guide us, or help us to feel grounded and at home, that, for me took the place of all the other stuff, and that is what finally filled my heart.
It’s easy to look at what others may have, or the latest and brightest new thing that promises to make our life better and think that is what is going to make our life better, but we are the only ones who can do that by the choices we make and what we choose to place as being important in our lives. When we put too much energy into obtaining something or someone and give it all of our power we are in trouble. What we seek may eat us alive from the inside out. Start to find happiness from within and see how that radiates in everything you do, you may just realize you’re wealthy in ways you had never seen, and instead of hording the things you think you need, perhaps you will share yourself with those who will love and appreciate you. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you worship material things, or, people and places, thinking you need to have them in order to be happy? What do you worship? Why do you think that is the key to your happiness? What is enough to make you happy? Is it ever enough? Or, is there always more, or something newer or better? Do you ever feel satisfied? If not, why not? What can you do today to look within, to find some happiness in yourself or perhaps in a spiritual connection that makes you feel loved? When we place so much importance on outside things we set ourselves for disappointment, and, eventually even self-destruction. Put your focus on the right things, the things that give back to yourself and the things you can share with those in your life, not the things that can be bought, those things that matter most, you, just as you are.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Seeking validation will keep you trapped. You don’t need anyone or anything to prove your worth.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Freedom is being you without anyone’s permission.
SLAY on!
Are You Addicted To Power, Possessions, People and Praise?
As I sit down to write this Christmas Eve I am thinking about the true spirit of the holiday. For many, religious, but for all a time of giving, of sharing and one of kindness. It’s easy to get caught up in the craziness of buying and receiving gifts, looking for the perfect gift, or, trying to find the one that will impress or one-up someone else. The act of gift giving often gets lost in our own selfish wants or needs and our expectations are raised to a level that no matter what the response, they’ll never be good enough.
For those with a lot, we may use that power to position ourselves to feel better than, to give in a grand way that overshadows others and to make ourselves feel superior, or the best. We may get caught up on that list of things we want, that list we think we have to have, and are expecting to get, and if one of those things are not found wrapped with our name on it, the whole holiday is a bust sending us into self-pity and emptiness. We may also be addicted to people, fearing the quiet of spending some time alone, we jump from event to event, gathering to gathering, in the hope to fill that void and drown out those voices in our heads telling us things we don’t want to hear or face. And, there are those of us too who feed off of the praise of a gift well given or found, turning the gift giving experience away from the recipient and their appreciation or enjoyment of it, and shining the spotlight back on ourselves for the praise coming our way for a job well done. None of these scenarios demonstrate the true meaning of this holiday season, and yet, how many of us fall into one or more of these categories?
I admit, I used to identify with all of these, depending on the year, I tried to use that fuel to try to light the fire within, but the reality of it was, that it never really did, not for long, and soon after I was left with that empty feeling again and searching for the next thing to try to fill it up. I was never able to fill it up until I got rigorously honest with myself and sought help. I was trying to fill a void I could not, not with the tools I had, and not with material things or praise from others, I had learn that I was the most valuable gift I could receive and I had to learn to praise myself, and believe it, for the good I was able to do, for myself, and others. And speaking of others, that was the key. Participating in selfless acts of kindness, especially without others knowing about it. The act of doing something for someone else is the gift, the acknowledgment of it is not what’s important, or shouldn’t be so. We perform an act of kindness because we want to, that’s it, and even if it’s never known it was us, or, if it isn’t acknowledged in a way we would have thought, it doesn’t take away that act, that act is the thank you to yourself, a thank you to who you are and what you stand for, there is no need for any praise past the act, but it is OK if there is, as long as you’re not seeking it.
As we head out this holiday season remember what the purpose of it truly is. Look for ways to spread love and kindness, and perhaps even joy, with those you spend your days and nights with. It is a time to give back, to share a laugh, to give a helping hand, and to give the gift that is most precious, your time. Go out there and be love, be you and be grateful for what you have, so even if you don’t get everything you had hoped for, you will know you have everything you need, and that is the greatest gift of all. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you get caught up in power, possessions, people and praise over the holiday season? How so? How does this harm you? How has this gotten in the way of your enjoyment of the holidays? How has it gotten in the way of your relationships? What can you do to prevent that from happening this year? What do you think your greatest gift is? Why don’t you focus on sharing that this holiday season, and see how that act of sharing yourself makes the difference this year. No matter what your plans are this holiday season, make your goal not to be the best, but to share your best self.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! If you live to only make others happy, your happiness will suffer.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
You Don’t Have To Meet Anyone Else’s Expectations
The holidays can bring so much joy—but they can also bring pressure, guilt, and emotional exhaustion. Too often, we show up out of obligation rather than desire. We put on a smile, check the box, and leave feeling drained. But here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone your presence at the expense of your peace.
Early in my healing journey, I had to start asking myself a new question before saying yes to an invitation:
“Do I truly want to be there—or do I just think I should?”
I’m not talking about what society expects. I’m not talking about guilt. I’m talking about truth. Your obligation is to your well-being. Not someone’s idea of what the holidays should look like.
You Don’t Owe Anyone Your Peace
Let’s be real: taking care of yourself will make some people uncomfortable. They’ll say you’re selfish. They’ll say you’re being dramatic. And sometimes, the loudest pushback comes from the people who benefit most from your lack of boundaries.
But their comfort isn’t your job. Your mental, emotional, and spiritual health is.
How many times have we said yes when we meant no, only to spend the event feeling resentful, drained, or on the verge of a breakdown? How many times have we promised ourselves never again—only to do it again next year?
That cycle ends when you decide your peace is more important than someone else’s perception.
Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect
When I stay rooted in the moment and check in with myself—without spiraling into what-ifs or worrying about reactions—I stay honest. If I’m not in a good place to show up, I say so.
Sometimes I offer context. Sometimes I don’t. You’re allowed to protect your peace without explaining yourself to everyone.
Will people always understand? No. Will some talk behind your back? Maybe. But those reactions say more about them than they do about you. You’re not here to meet other people’s expectations—you’re here to protect your energy.
Your Well-Being Isn’t Up for Debate
Especially during the holidays, it’s easy to feel pulled in a dozen directions. But the best gift you can give yourself is permission—permission to check in, to say no, to leave early, to skip the party entirely if that’s what you need.
Maybe that means going for a walk instead of going to dinner. Maybe it’s choosing solitude over small talk. Or maybe it’s showing up—but doing so on your own terms.
Whatever honors your journey, your growth, your peace… do that. You deserve to move through this season in a way that aligns with your truth.
And if someone doesn’t understand? That’s okay. You’re not for everyone. But you are for you.
SLAY Reflection
- Do you feel pressure to say yes out of obligation? Why?
- How do you feel during and after events that don’t serve you?
- What boundaries could you set this season to protect your peace?
- Have you ever said no and felt empowered by that decision? What happened?
- What might it look like to put your well-being first—just for today?
S-L-A-Y:
- Stop and ask yourself: “What do I want?”
- Let go of guilt-based decisions.
- Acknowledge when you’re acting out of obligation.
- You have permission to choose peace.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one expectation you’re ready to release this season—and how will you reclaim your peace instead?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s feeling the pressure to show up for everyone else, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYERS! Fill your heart with your own love and positivity, then, share it with someone else.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
Good News Is Contagious – Pass It On
I was speaking with a friend yesterday who shared some good news with me. She had been going through a tough time lately and so it was great to hear something unexpected and positive had happened and it brightened my day to hear her good news. Good news is contagious that way. When we hear of something good happening for someone we care about it like it’s also happened to us, that good shines on us as well. Good news has a ripple effect, it spreads out from the person sharing to through to all of those who it’s shared with, and yet, there are times when we hesitate to share our good news in fear of being judged or the excitement not reciprocated, which is an indication that we might not have chosen the right people to have in our life, or, the ones to share in our good news. We should always share our good news, and should not hesitate to, our good news should always be celebrated, and because it feels good to all it is shared it, it seems selfish to not share it.
When I was living in the dark I hesitated sharing anything good, first off, because I didn’t believe I deserved anything good, and second, because I didn’t trust that anyone would be happy for me. That trust issue was my issue, because I was walking around with so much shame and guilt, I thought people could see who I really was and wouldn’t be happy for me, or would be jealous that something good had happened to a piece of garbage like me, so I held it back, or would share it but would follow it up with something to downplay it so it didn’t sound as good. I never let myself fully enjoy the good, or allow others to fully enjoy it with me.
When I sought help and was on my road of recovery I learned to appreciate the good, to look for it, and I got to work getting over my fear of sharing it with the people in my life. First I had to start believing I was worthy of the good and that others weren’t looking at me enviously for getting something I didn’t deserve. I had to also look at the people who I had chosen to have in my life, were they true friends who did want the best for me, and was I a true friend to them? I had to get honest with not only who the people were in my life but why they were in my life, and, did they have a place in my new life now that I was living rigorously honest. Most of the people I had chosen remained and it was changed behavior on my part that let them in and began to share with them what was truly going on in my life, and that included sharing good news. I began to see how sharing my good news brightened someone else’s day, and may have given them hope in their own life, and I noticed that when someone did the same with me that it brightened my day as well, and, I learned to celebrate along with them instead of thinking that they may have gotten something that I wanted for myself. It was about learning to think in a new way, that allowed me to see the good in my own life and feel grateful but also do the same with others. Their good news didn’t take anything away from me, in fact it gave me something I could use to lift my own spirits and continue on in my own journey.
Never be afraid to share your good news, if you’ve chosen the right people in your life, they will be just as excited to hear it as you were, and they’ll cheer you on as that good cheer will be shared with them in their life. We can spread positive energy through each other and it becomes like a light beam that connects us all, and when someone needs that light it may illuminate their path and create their own good news to come. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you share your good news when you have it? How do you do this? What is the result? How do you feel when you share your good news? How does it effect those around you? When someone shares their good news with you, how does it effect you? Do you feel that positive energy from someone else’s good news? Does it brighten your day or spirits? Anytime we share something positive with those around us, it sends out light to those we share it with, which not only lights up their day but brightens ours as well. Send out your beams of light when you share your good news and watch it light everyone up. That’s good news… pass it on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYERS! When we change the way we look at things, the things we see change.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
