Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Be you’re best you, everyone else is taken.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Normal

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You have two hands, one for helping yourself, and one for helping others.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Hands

Held With Invisible Hands

I talk a lot about how STATE OF SLAY is a community of like-minded people who love and support each other through their journeys. We talk about carrying a torch for each other, lighting someone’s path when it gets dark. And, I talk about walking next to you on your path as I walk on mine. But we are also all held by invisible hands. We are supported by all the hands of the many SLAYERS around the world, we may not see those hands, but they are there, guiding us, giving us strength, loving us, and cheering us on when we are victorious, or just need a hand to hold. Those hands are always there.

I was thinking about that the other day. I feel you all with me, all the time. Even though we are in different time zones, different parts of the world and on different parts of our paths, we walk as one, and as I often say, no one gets left behind.

Our hands are always stretched out for those in need, they are there to embrace one another in greeting, or in love and support, they hold the hands of others to help when it’s hard to speak, or share our truth, our hands can’t be broken, they make a chain, a link, to all of us, and that chain continues to grow.

I walked most of my life alone. And I felt alone. When I think of all of you out there I know I’m not alone, you are all with me each day and I can feel your hands around me, I hope you can feel ours too. And maybe that’s something to focus on, when we feel anxious, nervous, unsure, visualize those hands with you, holding you, giving you strength, because they’re there, and just by seeing them in your mind, they may give you exactly what you need in that moment.

We share a common goal, we share many common experiences, and we walk this shared path to becoming our best selves. We can’t do that alone, I know I can’t, I tried, and, it’s so much better to do it with others you know, you love, others who understand. Those outreached hands can also help us to learn. We can learn to trust again, or maybe for the first time, we learn that those hands are there when we reach for them, even when we don’t, they are always stretched out in our direction, we can depend on them, and we learn that we can stretch out ours, that it is safe and that we feel good when we do it. Those hands connect us to others, to old friends, to new friends, to those like us, we see that we are not alone, that who we are is OK, that we’re more than OK, that we are incredible and we should celebrate that.

Each and every one us is held up by invisible hands. Whether from this community, or others you may belong to. We are here to support one another, to lift each other up, to share this journey when it gets tough, and to show those who are struggling that it gets better, brighter, and that there is hope. All of our hands reach out to yours, we are always here, even when you don’t see us, we reach out to you, and hope you’ll reach out to us too. There is room for everyone on this path, and sometimes just to get by, it takes a lot of hands. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel supported either here within our community, or within one of your choosing? If yes, why? If not, why? If you don’t, what can you do to connect with others, or at least one person, who can walk with you and share your path with you? Is there something that stops you from connecting? What is it? Is that the truth, or is that a story from your past that is no longer valid? Only you can make it valid today, if it’s an old story, let it go, try something new, reach out to someone who you admire, who’s walking a path of being their authentic self, who will take you along with them. The only person we hurt by not reaching out is us, we lose every time, it is when we learn to overcome our fear to connect with others that our world opens up, it gets brighter, and we see those hands reaching out for us. I challenge you SLAYER, reach out to one new person this week, talk to them, meet up with them, and share with them, you can never have too many hands.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! What would you say today to your younger self?

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Relationship

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYERS! The closer we get to being who we are meant to be… the brighter we shine.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Stars

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The greatest gift is when you’re able to bless someone else while walking through your own storm.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Shine

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Anger is the emotion we choose when we’re trying to avoid less comfortable feelings.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Anger

Anger Is A Response To Fear

Might have made you think about that for a moment. It’s been regarded for some time that fear is not a base feeling or emotion. It is something we use to cover up feeling disregarded, unimportant, accused, guilty, untrustworthy, devalued, rejected, powerless, and unlovable. None of those feelings are good, and we certainly don’t want to feel any of those feelings, so many of us, will go to great lengths to cover them up, and anger is one heck of a smokescreen.

Anger can scare people away, get them off the scent of what’s really going on, especially when it seems to come out of nowhere, people can get jolted by, fearful of it, or match that emotion and get angry themselves, it can be contagious, and when everyone is angry the true source of the anger gets lost.

When I think back to who I used to be I got angry a lot. And, when I’m really looking at the source to my anger many times it was to hide what was really going on, because, I figured, no one really wants to deal with an angry person, so people will just leave me alone or just give me what I want so I would go away. That sounds really sad when I see it in black and white. But it’s the truth. I hid behind anger as a shield so I wouldn’t have to look at what was really going on. And what was really going on is that I wasn’t able, or willing, to look at my part in all of the things I was using anger to hide. I wanted to blame everybody else, any thing else, rather than even consider I may be causing myself most of my pain by the decisions and choices I was making. So when I got caught in a place where I had made a bad decision and felt embarrassed by the outcome, I would get mad, angry, to hide my own shame.

It’s funny because now that I no longer allow myself to do that, I see it in others. When someone gets mad or angry I begin to think what might be the actual issue, rather than just jump in and match their anger, or, feel hurt by their actions. Now, I’m human, so there are times I do get hurt in the moment, but I try to peel that back and look into what really may have been going on. It allows me to find some compassion for the other person, and, if they’re willing to talk, find out what the real issue is. For me today, if I suddenly flare up and feel angry, it is my job to look at what is really going on. Now that I no longer live my life in fear, many times it’s base is from a choice I’ve made, that I probably knew was not the best choice, but I made it anyway and now I’m suffering the result of that choice, so, I’m angry. But the right response to those situations should be, lesson learned, I’ll make the right choice next time. Allow myself to feel the frustration of that result, but not let it take over and have power over me letting it escalate to anger.

When we take away anger as a base feeling, it already seems to lessen it’s power and strength over us. And when we feel anger creep in, that’s another time to get out our SLAYER detective hats on and find out what’s really going on. What our anger really is is an opportunity to do better next time, it’s giving us information we need to avoid feeling that way again from the same source, and, we may feel it again from that same source a few times over, I know for me, it usually takes more than once before I get the hint, but, the point is we look for it and we try.

Take away anger’s power, look at it for what it truly is. Change what you can, and accept what you can not. Those are truly the only two antidotes for anger. SLAY on my friends!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let anger get the best of you? Do you find yourself angry and don’t know why? Do you know why and are using anger to hide something? What do you typically use anger to hide? Why do you do that? Is there something you can do so you’re not making the same decisions that get you to anger? What can you change or do differently? When you feel angry, are you able to pinpoint the source of it? Think of the last time you were angry. What was the source of it? And, no, I don’t mean point fingers to someone or something else. What was your part? What can you change for the next time so you don’t find yourself in anger. Take responsibility for actions SLAYER, we all make mistakes, so admit them when you’ve made them, you’ll be surprised how many people will understand, and maybe even help you, when you are honest about who you are and what you’ve done. Anger doesn’t help anyone, and it keeps you in the same cycle you’ve always been in. Break the cycle, kick anger to the curb by changing your path, our actions, the choices you make, and take your power back from anger.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! It’s normal to come down after a big event in our lives, prepare yourself for the dip after the high, and don’t forget to live your life for today, not the one you just had.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Today

Slay Talk Live Video

Hey SLAYER! Not able to join us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE? No problem, here’s what you missed!