Strength

AIR™ Share With Daphne

It was great to join Tricia Baker of Attitudes In Reverse® at Red Bank Regional High School to speak to the freshman on a recent break from filming in the New York area. I always look for opportunities to share my experience, strength and hope with those who may be struggling with mental health and suicide, and it was great to join Tricia and share my story.

Daphne made her first official AIR™ appearance and enjoyed meeting all the students and sharing therapy dog duties with Henry.

For more information on Attitudes In Reverse® and how you can help click this link: Attitudes In Reverse
Carrie Genzel with Daphne and Tricia Baker with Henry at Red Bank Regional High School
Actor/AIR Advisory Board Member Carrie Genzel Joins Tricia Baker at Red Bank Regional High School
When AIR Co-founder Tricia Baker recently presented Coming Up for AIR at Red Bank Regional High School, she brought a couple surprise treats for the students: actor/writer/ producer Carrie Genzel, who recently joined AIR’s Advisory Board, and her dog Daphne.
“I am grateful to Carrie for sharing her personal story of recovery. Young people need to understand that there is always hope for healing,” Tricia said.
“I had a great time joining in on Tricia’s programming at Red Bank Regional High School. It was great to share my story and message with the freshman class and bring Daphne in to meet and connect with the students afterwards. We both had a great afternoon,” Carrie said.
Carrie is most recognized for her work as “Skye Chandler” on All My Children, as well as two memorable Supernatural episodes, “Bugs” and “Just My Imagination.” Some of her credits also include Wizards of Waverly Place, Smallville, Watchmen and
Jennifer’s Body.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Every day may not be good but there is good in every day.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay worrying

Shared Suffering

When I was suffering from my disease the most I wasn’t sharing what was going on with anyone. I isolated and kept my pain to myself believing that no one would understand, would care, or that everyone else had their own problems so I need not burden them with mine. That rationale kept me sick for a long time, and got me sicker. The more I retreated and kept to myself the more those negative voices in my head became my truth, but it only took one person to share their shared suffering with me to give me enough hope to reach out for help.

I had always said I wasn’t a “group” person. I always preferred to do things one on one. Even growing up with my friends, I had my one or two girls I would hang out with, and we might do things with groups of people from time to time, but mainly it was just the two or three of us. That’s just how I had always been. So when I made the commitment to make positive changes in my life, and to seek help, it was suggested to me I join a support group and get to know other women who were walking the same path as I was. That struck fear in my right away. Me, join a group? That did not sound like anything I wanted to be a part of, but I had promised myself I would try everything that was suggested, so I took a deep breath and dove in. It was difficult for me at first, to sit there and try to be a part of the group, but the more I sat there the more I heard my story told through other people, and I realized that I wasn’t alone. I thought that no one thought and did the things I did, that was one of the reasons I never told anyone, I thought I was a horrible person and no one would understand, or even worse, would judge me for being who I was, but what I learned from sitting in those groups and finding the courage to share my truth is that I wasn’t the only one, in fact I found many others who thought and did things exactly how I had, which was shocking, but also a relief.

It’s been almost 13 years since I first stepped foot in a group meeting, and I still go today, in fact, I went morning I wrote this blog, and I was reminded what a gift it is that I found a group of people like myself who I can relate to, who remind me of who I was and who I have worked to be. Today, I look at that group as something I am blessed to be a part of, something I never would have imagined 13 years ago, but I now know the strength that that group has for me and many others out there who have found a strength with those who identify with them.

When I initially thought about starting a blog the idea was to create a safe place where we could share in our commonality, to create a community of like-minded people who were all striving to live in the light and be our best selves each day. I know there is a lot of power in shared suffering, especially when the focus isn’t on the suffering, but a solution. So for those out there who suffer alone in silence, I invite you to join us, I encourage you to reach out, to share your truth with us, we are not here to judge you, as we are no one to judge, we have all had our share of things we have done in the past that we may not be proud of, or even in our present lives, but it is a part of our journey, who we once were, and we have used those experiences to remind us of where we don’t want to go, of how far we’ve come, and to allow those seemingly negative experiences to bring us closer to those out there who once were just like us, and perhaps still are, but are striving to live in the light. You are not alone, unless you choose to be, but if you decide to come and join us, or others like us, we’ve got a place waiting for you and a love for you that you may not even have for yourself yet, that love comes from an understanding and a recognition that you are just like us. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you share your truth when things are not good with you? If you do, how does that help you? If you don’t, why not? What are you afraid of? Do you have people in your life who you can share your truth with, no matter what it is? If so, who are they? If not, how can you find people like that in your life? Do you see how finding people like yourself can help you to grow, learn, and give you a feeling of support? Do you feel there is strength in numbers? Go find your group SLAYER, even if that’s just us, we as a group are stronger than we are alone, if you’re looking for a place to belong, come SLAY with us.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Freedom Fighter

When we’re sitting in the dark we may dream of a hero swooping in to save us, a superhero, of sorts, who understands us and shows us the way out. Someone who can fix things and make everything better. Someone who will bring light into our darkness and use that light to show us the way. What we don’t understand when we’re in the darkness is that we are that hero, we have the power to save ourselves and we are our own superhero, we need to fight for our freedom and be a freedom fighter!

When I was living in the darkness I thought my life was hopeless. I didn’t see a way out and my head told me everyday that there was only one way out, to end my suffering. Because I wasn’t sharing those thoughts with anyone I believed what my head told me, I thought it was the truth. It wasn’t. I was blessed with another freedom fighter coming into my life who shared his truth with me, and the story of his fight into the light. It seemed like an incredible story, and it remained just that for months as I continued my downward spiral into my deep pit of darkness. On a particularly dark night that story suddenly rang true for me. For the first time I identified with the before part of the story, what it had been like for my friend, I saw myself in that story and that was the tiny bit of hope I needed to pick up my sword and start my journey as a freedom fighter, a fighter who was fighting for my own freedom.

You see, no one else can truly save us if we aren’t willing to save ourselves. Now, I’ve had a lot of help along with the way from some very amazing freedom fighters who have shown me the way, and I still have many in my life, and it’s important to me to light the way for others so that they might find the freedom fighter in themselves.

My sword, when I started, wasn’t nearly as mighty, in fact, many days I questioned whether I could pick it up at all, but I did, I used all my strength, even if I could only get it an inch off the ground, but I did it, and each day that sword got a little easier to carry, and then some days it got heavy again, and still does from time to time, but now I’ve got many years of carrying that sword under my belt, and I know, no matter how heavy it feels, it’s there, and I have the strength to pick it up, and if I still doubt that, I have many other freedom fighters around me to remind me, or, if I need it, to help me lift that sword.

We have the power to save ourselves at any given time. We may not know how, or why, or if we really can, but if we believe, even a little, that tiny bit of light may cause us to reach out for help, and that tiny bit of light may give us hope, and that hope may propel us to take action, any action, that will set us on a trajectory of blinding light. We just need to pick up our sword, even if we have to drag it at first, and find the other freedom fighters in our lives who lend us their strength as we fight the most important battle of our lives, the fight for our own freedom. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you know that you have the power to save yourself from the darkness? You do SLAYER. Even if that power is picking up a phone, or sending a message, or chatting with someone, you have the power to let some light in and possibly some hope. You have that light inside of you. You may have buried it under a lot of darkness, but it’s still there if you dig deep down and find it. I know because if it wasn’t there you wouldn’t be reading this right now. You wouldn’t be open to finding your own freedom fighter within. You wouldn’t be standing next to me in this path, and yet, here you are. You have it in you SLAYER, I don’t doubt you, even if you doubt yourself, know that I believe in you and until you can pick up your sword yourself, know that there are many of us here who will help you hold it high, until one day you can use it to tear down your darkness and let the light in.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! People and situations are both powerless without your reaction.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Situation

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Use your strength of good.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Repeat

Hey! I’m Talking To You

I think it’s time for a pep talk and let go of all the preconceived about who you are and who you should be. YOU SHOULD BE YOU!

It’s easy to get lost in the social media black hole, or the messages put out by advertisers, about who we’re supposed to be, what we’re supposed to look like, and what we’re supposed to watch and listen to. Those things are very persuasive, and so can the people in our lives. If we’re not putting pressure on ourselves, others can put pressure on us to be what is expected of us. Many of us feel like failures when we don’t measure up to these ideas and parameters. But, if that’s not who you are, and not what you want to do, don’t do it. We are not here to please others, we are here to learn who we are and what our own unique purpose is, and we’re not going to find that living a life for someone else, or, by trying to fit into an unattainable mold we see presented to us as the norm. Who the heck wants to be the norm anyways? Be you.

When I speak to young adults it’s hard to listen to them tell me that they don’t feel good enough, or to hear them beat themselves up because they are not like the other kids. I say good! Don’t be like the other kids. But, it’s easy for me to say that now after 12 ½ years of work on myself, and learning to love myself for who I am and what I stand for. When I was a young adult I hated myself, even as an adult I hated myself, and the last thing I wanted to do was to stand out because I worried that you might ask me a lot of questions, questions I didn’t want to answer because I thought if you knew the answers, you wouldn’t like me. So, I understand. But, what I continue to share with anyone who will listen is, what sets you apart makes you special. Unique. Whole. Beautiful. Bold. Strong. And one badass. Love who you are. Embrace who you are. Celebrate who you are. And, if there is something that you don’t like, something that you think is getting in the way of being your best self, then take action to change it. But only do it for you.

It’s about finding acceptance, even in the dark places, of our true selves. In fact, especially loving the dark places because that is where we are most vulnerable. Those are also the place from where we should share ourselves, it’s those places that connect us to others like ourselves and give us strength as we use those places for good, and we take those places back and make them our own. Never be ashamed of who you are and where you’ve come from. It is what has made you into who you are today. And who you are today is awesome. And if you’re not feeling your awesomeness go out and take some action to find it. But I want you to know, that I already see it. It’s in you, let it shine.

Never let anything get in the way of being your best self. Know that what you have to offer is special, and no one else’s. You may come in a different kind of package, but the gifts inside are pure magic. Share those gifts with those out there who may appreciate them, who may need them, or just to show yourself how magical you are. Only you can say what’s right for you, so own who you are and go out and show us all. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you find you get stuck thinking you should be or look a certain way? Why? Where are you getting these messages? Do you think they’re healthy? Do you think you’re setting yourself up to fail by setting unreal expectations for yourself? Why do you think you do this? What is a more loving way to encourage yourself to change? What don’t you want to change? List 5 things you like about yourself. Of those 5 things, what can you use to share with others who can use those things? Share them SLAYER, share you, and never doubt that what makes you makes you special. Love who you are, all of you, and live out loud, expressing your true self for all to see. Shine bright SLAYER.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Talk Live Video

Hello SLAYERS! If you didn’t join us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE here’s what you missed, hope you can join us next time. SLAY on!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Rock bottom has built more champions than privileged. Use the tough times to build strength, and knowledge for the next time.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Grow

 

We SLAY Together

I had the privilege of sitting down yesterday with a group of incredible women, all from different parts of the country, different ages, different types of jobs, skills and family lives, from the outside we all looked different, but inside we were all the same. We had similar experiences, we had done, and do, similar things to get by, to live life, we had made a lot of the same mistakes, and had many of the same fears, hopes, and dreams. It made me smile, and it filled my heart with love. All of these beautiful people were doing their best, they were survivors, warriors, fighters, and all, at different times came to realize at some point in their life that their journey was not meant to walked alone, that there was strength in numbers. We are all stronger together. We back each other up. We lift each other up. And when we do, we get stronger, and we rise. When I started on this path and it was suggested I get involved with a group of people for support, my first reactions was, “I don’t like groups, I’m a one-on-one-person.” And I was. The thought of sitting in a group of people I didn’t know and have to listen to their “problems,” and then share about mine made my skin crawl. Who the heck wants to do that? But I did it anyway. I did it because my life depended on it. So I sat there that first time, not wanting to be there, and the first person who spoke told my story. I realized in that moment I wasn’t alone, and I realized by all the nodding heads in the room as she spoke, that I was in a room full of people just like me, I wasn’t the only one, I wasn’t a freak, a bad person, all of the people in that room had similar stories, and I related to something in all of them, and not only did I feel relieved that I wasn’t the only one, because I identified with the people in that room, I also found hope in the ones who had found a better way of life for themselves, I thought, if they had done it, maybe I could to. And that maybe is what kept me going back, and motivated me to do the work I needed to climb my way out.

I now love sitting in a group and sharing my truth, I get a charge from it, there’s an electricity, it’s palpable, you can feel it in the room, as is the love. I also learned a lot from sitting in those groups, I learned to listen and not interrupt until someone was finished, I learned to share my own truth in a concise and clear manner, and I learned how to be a friend to someone else, a true friend, but also how to set healthy boundaries for myself so that the friendships I was making, as well as the ones I had before, were in line with the path I was setting out to live my life on, a path that was about self-love and respect and being compassionate with others. I also learned that if I needed to talk to someone one-on-one that I wasn’t “bothering” them, that I may be helping them too. I am a firm believer that nothing happens by chance, we meet and interact with the people we are meant to, when we are meant to, and so when we reach out to someone because we need someone to listen, or we need some feedback, we’re not bothering them, we are meant to have that exchange with them because they need it to. They may need to hear what you have to say, or they may need to hear themselves say what they respond back with. It’s a two-way street, at least if it’s a healthy relationship or friendship. And, as SLAYERS, we’re working to only have healthy relationships and friendships, or at least ones on our own terms. So, when you don’t share what’s going on with you it’s actually selfish, because you are not only cheating yourself out of a conversation you should be having, but you’re also cheating the other person out of having a conversation they should  be having as well. Open your heart and share.

I am so proud of the SLAYERS who walk along with me, who share their authentic selves at any given moment, with me, with the people in their lives, and with anyone out there who can be helped by it. Every one of our stories has value, and you just never know who may hear and how that may help them, or possibly, save their life. It was a story that saved my life, and that is why I place so much importance on sharing mine with others. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do find it difficult to share you story, or what’s going on for you, with others? Why? Do you have people in your life you can trust and can talk to? If yes, why don’t you share yourself with them if don’t? If you don’t feel you have people to go to, where can you go to find people who are like you, or that you can trust? For me, it started with one person I trusted, someone I knew had overcome a lot, someone I knew wouldn’t judge me, and by opening up to that one person, I was introduced to many, and my world grew exponentially. Challenge yourself SLAYER to reach out, to share, to find those like you you can share your journey with, your struggles, and know that we here, we SLAYERS, are all alike, and we all love you, even when you don’t love yourself. Stay close SLAYER, we’ve got your back.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you