Good morning SLAYER! When somebody hurts you try to understand the situation instead of just trying to hurt them back.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
slayer
Hurt People Hurt People
I was reminded of this in a conversation yesterday, and remembered myself, it really resonated because I was once one of those hurt people who hurt people. I didn’t always intend to hurt people, and then other times, I did. When we are suffering, in pain, or mentally not at our best, our hurt trickles into every relationship and every interaction we have. Many times we tell ourselves that we are only hurting ourselves, but that is not true. Our actions affect everyone around us, even if it’s only for a few minutes. We all are responsible for what we say and do, and the energy we put out to those around us. As an adult, it is not OK to hide behind an event from our past or make excuses for behaving in a way that harms others. We all have a choice of how we act, react and respond to our set of circumstances and where we find ourselves. But realizing that the people who hurt are hurting themselves also gives us some perspective of what may be happening for someone who hurts us, and the realization that their hurt has nothing to do with us.
Walking in the dark for most of my life I walked with a lot of hurt, and I carried that hurt alone because I was not able to share my truth with others, as a result, it grew, it had power over me and as a result, I believed the lies it told me. I lived in fear, every day, and I didn’t trust anyone, so I was always looking for people to hurt me, and as a countermeasure, I would hurt back, or hurt before I could be hurt. This way of life left me feeling more and more isolated and guilty for hurting those I cared about. But the sick part of me loved this behavior, more I did it the more I was proud of it, I excused it away by saying it was my shield of armor, that it protected me, but what it was really doing was keeping me sick and far from those who cared about me. It also skewed my people picker, it clouded my vision of who was good for me and who I should invite into my life, I began to invite people in who might hurt me because that’s what I thought I deserved, or it gave me an easy target to hurt when I felt compelled to do so, or, I thought I would teach them a lesson. It wasn’t until I surrendered and asked for help, and began this new way of life I live today that I realized all of the damage I had done to others, and to myself. Once I was able to clean up my side of the street and find acceptance and forgiveness for myself I was able to humbly go and make any repairs I could to those I had harmed, and each of those experiences for me were steps that helped me grow and demonstrated to me the power of our words and actions. And now, having lived my life in the light I have been able to find compassion for those, who, like myself in the past, hurt others, I don’t give them a free pass because of it, but I am able to understand where they might be coming from as a way to maybe connect to them through the pain I once lived in, rather than judging them and condemning them for it. Just like when we were kids, that bully in the playground is actually one the lowest self-esteem and likely in the most pain, it’s no different out in the world today, as adults we can do the same thing to mask our hurt.
Whether you are the individual who is hurt, or have been hurt by someone who is hurt, we have the responsibility to take care of ourselves and to behave in a way that does not harm others. There is no excuse to purposely harm someone else no matter how much pain we may be in, or what harm was done to us, we only create more hurt when we do, and, we hurt our own spirit in the process. Stop the cycle of hurt, whether it be to ourselves or those around us, and start to be a part of the solution. Spread love, compassion, understanding rather than hurt and see how that turns your own hurt around. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let your hurt hurt others? How has your hurt hurt others in the past? How does it today? Do you use your hurt to justify hurting others? How do you do this? How does that make you feel? How would you rather feel? What is your hurt based on? Is that hurt valid in your life today or is it a hurt from your past that you should let go? What keeps you holding on? How does that hurt you today? Has your hurt allowed you to recognize the hurt in others? Does it allow you to find compassion for them? Does it allow you to connect with them? Does that connection diminish your own hurt? Find the root of your hurt and focus on healing that hurt, our hurt doesn’t go away by causing others to hurt, it just makes more hurt. Let go of what hurt you and turn that energy into healing energy, for yourself, and those who may be hurting around you.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Needing approval is like saying that someone else’s opinion of you is more important than your own opinion of yourself.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Finding oneself while seeking the approval of others is the murder of self.
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Heal the past, live in the present, dream of the future.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! The quieter you become the more you can hear.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
You Can’t Receive The Message If You Don’t Show Up To Listen
I write a lot about looking and listening for signs, they are all around us, but if we are close-minded, think we know everything, or are determined to walk a certain path regardless of what you we be shown, we can easily miss these signs and messages all around us by not showing up for life, or deciding ourselves how it’s supposed to go.
I can relate, before I made a conscious decision to walk this path I thought I knew better, or, even if it was obvious that something should go a certain way, I tried to manipulate or force it to go the way I wanted it to. My ears and mind were closed, even when the signs were right in front of my face, screaming at me, I chose to ignore them and force my way ahead. All I really did was prolong my suffering, and, probably missed many opportunities for good things I would have wanted for myself, if, I had had the humility and an open mind to recognize them. I had to hit a very hard emotional and spiritual bottom before I was willing to listen to those signs, and I am grateful that it wasn’t too late.
We are given messages and signs every day, through music, people, nature and that thing we call our “gut instinct”, there are many ways that we are being guided, and, many ways we can ignore or choose not to listen to what we’re being shown. We do have freedom of choice, and there are many choices every day, but when we are open to listening and looking for that bit of guidance to help us on our journey we are often amazed at how often those signs appear.
For me, when I look back, even when I wasn’t open to them they were there, trying to nudge me in the right direction as I was careening off course. While I was living in ego, and listening to the negative voices in my head, I was almost defiant to them when I did notice them, I was resentful and pushed through them to forge my own path, even though that path was not one that was giving me what I wanted. I continued doing that until there were only two choices, get help, or give up, thankfully I remembered a message that had come to me months before and reached out for help.
Now I look for the signs, I think of them almost like my sidekick, that I am where I am supposed to be, or, when I am questioning starting something new, or looking to make a change, I reach out and ask for those signs, patiently waiting for them to appear when I am meant to see them. They have always appeared when I’ve asked, not always in that exact moment, but shortly after, and because it usually takes me a few times to really get it, I’ll usually get a few of them pointing me towards the same action or conclusion. Today they make me smile, and they comfort me, knowing that they are there walking this journey with me and working with me to get me to where I am supposed to go. I don’t know everything, there’s no way I can, so I look to them to help me on my path. The key is to be willing to listen, and with willingness change can come.
We often ask for signs but are we really open to seeing and hearing them? They only work for us when we are able to get out of our own way and hear them for what they are, if you’re unsure, ask again, in my experience they will keep coming until you are sure, and I know they will show up for you too if you show up and listen for them. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you look for signs in your day to day life? Do you see and hear them? Do you listen to them? If they are not what you want to hear do you keep doing what you’re doing and ignore them? What is the result? What has been the result when you have followed them? Do you think you are willing and open to their suggestions? If not, why not? What would you ask to see signs for today? Ask SLAYER, ask and listen, this blog may be the first sign to get you to look outward for answers you’ve trying to solve within yourself.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Without your struggle you may not have stumbled on your strength.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Don’t Ever Pray For Justice, You Might Just Get It
We’ve all been wronged, hurt, or misled, and it’s easy to sit in our hate or anger wanting revenge, or justice, but when we sit on that space and want negative things to happen to others, we invite the darkness in. We allow that darkness to take over and dominate our thoughts and soon it makes it’s way to our actions, or, by sitting in our hate we have brought on punishment to ourselves. It’s easy to judge someone else for what they’ve done, but we may be guilty of our own crimes, and forgetting our own actions we are just as guilty and shouldn’t be so quick to only look at the actions of others. We always have a choice of how to respond to what happens to us and when we invite revenge to come in we may just get a dose back we’re not expecting.
When I made a choice to walk this path I was eager to point the finger at all the people who I thought had wronged me, who I blamed for all of my bad behavior and bad decisions, but it was pointed out to me that in most cases, the exception was when I was child, I had a choice in who I allowed into my life, who I engaged with, who I chose to trust, and how I interacted with each of those people. It was easier to play the victim and blame everyone else for my problems and to sit and plot my revenge or wish bad things on those people who I thought had hurt me. The truth was, I hurt myself, time and time again, by the choices I was making, and by sitting in that misdirected hurt I became angrier and more depressed, praying for justice didn’t make me feel any better, it fueled my hate and if I was really being honest with myself, it concerned me that the same fate I wished upon others could be coming for me. Living in the light I have been encouraged to wish what I would want for myself for others, even when they have wronged me. Now, that can be a tough one, but I have done it, many times, and it does work to keep me out of negative thinking and keep me in the light. When you’ve been hurt instead of praying for justice, pray they receive everything you would want every day for 2 weeks, trust me, you will feel better, and that anger will pass. And by doing this you let the light in, you focus on the positive and from that place real change can happen, good change. It’s like the blinders come off and we can see clearly, the whole picture, and not just what we want to see because it suits the narrative we want to tell. We, as adults, always have a part, and perhaps what has happened is there to show us changes we need to make, or to teach us something, perhaps, just maybe, we should be thanking that person for that lesson rather than condemning them.
We should never be wishing or praying for something we would not want for ourselves, when we do we are working from a place of victim-hood and not taking responsibility for our part or the power we have. Even if we are a victim of a random crime or accident, we still have a choice how we respond to what happened, and when we choose revenge we are also choosing to live in the darkness which only invites more darkness in our lives. It’s important to practice contrary action and send out good energy, even to those who may have harmed us, and it’s important to send it back to ourselves as well, as we likely contributed to our own harm. Send out positive energy and positive is what you’ll get back and what you’ll see moving forward. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you pray for revenge when you’ve been wronged, hurt or harmed? How do you feel when you do that? Does it make the situation any better? Do you find that your thoughts stay in the negative and affect your daily life? How do they do that? Does that feel good? Are you able to see your part in those situations? Do you think you could wish good things for someone who may have wronged, hurt or harmed you? Do you think you could try? Trust me SLAYER, when we are able to send out love, even to those who have not shown us love, we win, and we allow ourselves to live in the light and look for the positive in our lives. Light attracts light, and when we choose to live in it we find more, and, we find more people who also live there instead of focusing on those who do not.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Never let yourself get in the way of seeing things as they truly are.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
