Learn

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There are two kinds of days: good days, and character builders.

SLAY on!

Chapter 20

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Our greatest ability is to learn and adapt.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Just Flow With It

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Fear the boredom that comes with not learning and taking chances.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay True Self

Non-Interference

Each individual soul is destined to complete a certain mission on their journey. Each of us should be allowed to pursue that destiny without being interfered with, but, that is not always the case. Many times we encountered people who feel they know better and try to instruct us or egoistically assume it is their job to direct our path and try to force us in a direction that they see fit. That is not their job, and it is ours to not let them.

Our pursuits and the path we choose to walk are necessary for our growth, and even though someone trying to take over and run our lives may also be necessary for our growth, as we learn to stand up for ourselves and learn the value of our self-worth, it is no one’s job, but our own to do the work that is meant for us. I’ve been encountering this for several months now with someone who had come forward to allegedly help with a situation. Their kind generosity was welcomed and a course of action set to move things forward. But as we found, what seemed like the solution we had all talked about, the interference began, and suddenly, that generosity came with conditions that were not shared initially. As an adult who has overcome a lot in my life, to arrive at a place of self-love, self-worth and self-care, things finally came to a head yesterday and plug was pulled, and probably should have been many months prior, but wanting to believe that this person had truly good intentions at heart, and wanting to find compassion for things that may be going on in their life and may be affecting their judgment, the interference went on far longer than it should have.

It amazes me the lengths people will go to hide their own indiscretions, the lengths they’ll go to justify their bad behavior and the lengths they’ll go to try to control something out of their own fear and mistakes of their past when it’s not their place to step in. Part of our journey is to stop that behavior in our lives, to not let anyone interfere with our intended journey and reason for being here. We each have our own path to walk and we need to protect what is most important, not our possessions, but our mind and spirit.

Today I start with a clean slate and wash away the events of past few months, and I am reminded, once again, to believe people when they show me who they are, I can’t assume that because I have changed, or may bring a different or positive energy into a certain dynamic that others will follow suit, I need to stay the course, stay on my intended journey and learn as I go, and that is no ones’ job but mine alone. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you allow others to interfere in your life? Are there people in your life who bully their way in and try to take control? What do you do to combat this? Or do you feel helpless? You are not. How has someone else’s interference taken you off course in your life? How have you gotten back on track? Have you gotten back on track? Do you realize you’ve possibly been pushed off the path you’re meant to be on? What can you do to protect yourself from inference in the future? Each of us has the ability and right to walk the path we choose to and are destined to walk, that is not for anyone to dictate or control.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Heal the past, live in the present, dream of the future.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay The Past Die

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Decisions become easier when you no longer aim to please the world.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Hold You Back

Time Takes Time

We often hear when we’re going through a difficult time, to give it time. And many times, my thought has been, well, how much time!? When is this going to feel better? And the answer is, when it’s time. I know that time does some amazing things. It can heal. It can give us perspective. It can give us strength, love, and it can give us what we need to move on, or start over. Time, as it turns out, is the answer to a lot of things, but it takes time to get time.

When I was new in my journey time was all I thought about. I could see others who had started before me, who had more time, and I wanted to be there, to jump ahead to that time, and already feel better, or feel how I thought those people were feeling, but since I had already gotten myself to an emotional and spiritual bottom by not wanting or allowing myself to feel my feelings, I was told I needed to learn to feel them right where I was, and that takes, you guessed it, time. I also had to accept that my time wasn’t anyone else’s time. We all heal, grow, learn on our own time, and it wasn’t my place to judge others time, nor was it there’s to judge mine, and I had to abide by that same rule with myself, I could not judge my own time, only live each moment to the best of my ability.

Time can seem infinite, daunting and empty, especially when we’re waiting to have it, so for me, on those days when I wanted to jump ahead, I had to focus on what was in front of me, do what was in front of my hands and take it moment by moment, minute by minute so I could keep moving forward with time, even if it was slower than I would have liked, but the key to being present for each moment of time was that I was actually living each moment, no matter how uncomfortable it was, I was there, feeling it and learning to make better choices for myself. And when I focused on each moment, I was able to start looking at larger increments of time, minutes, to hours, to days to months, to years. Each moment of time has added up to almost 14 years now, and yet still, like today, I sometimes have to dial it back to just this moment and keep it simple for myself so I don’t run away from time.

With time I do have the privilege to look back at my journey, so see how far I’ve come, and to notice what I still struggle with. Time shows me my patterns, my highs and my lows, and as it shows me that it also let’s me see that all of it, the good and bad, passes, because time never stops moving, even if we get stuck in it, stuck somewhere, time doesn’t stop, it moves past us until we catch up. Time is a blessing that way, it walks with us, and shows us our past, and it offers us the hope of the future, but that hope isn’t an invite to get ahead of it, just some light to look for as we keep moving forward in time.

We all love time when it’s working in our favor, the trick is to realize that it may always be, even when it’s adding stress or moving too slowly, there’s always a reason for time moving just as it is, and even when it doesn’t seem so, it may always be on our side, even when it seems like it’s working against us. Time, like everything in life, is going to tick along at it’s own pace, so why not learn to dance in it’s rhythm and trust that it’s moving at just the right speed to allow us to get what we need out of our time each day. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you make the most of your time? Do you live in the moment or do you find yourself looking into your past or surfing into the future? Why do you think you do that? What stops you from living in the moment? What are you afraid of? Why are you not comfortable just where you are? What can you do in this moment to accept where you are? There is nothing we can do to slow down or speed up time, so why not appreciate it and learn to make the most out of the time we have.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving you shame.

SLAY on!

state-of-slay Grace To Live

When People Only See Who We Used To Be

I have changed a lot over the past 13 plus years. That core person I am is still there, and always was, although she was buried under a lot of junk I piled on top of her, but the essence of who I am has walked with me, that is person I fight for every day, but a lot has changed, I have changed, and not every person from my past has changed along with me, or, has been accepting of those changes. Just because we make a commitment to change ourselves for the better doesn’t mean everyone else has, or wants to, or, wants to see us do it. By us changing we put the spotlight on us, our behavior and choices, but by changing those things to better align with a healthier and happier us others may question their own decisions, or, not be comfortable with us not being who we used to be. That, is not our problem, or responsibility. Our responsibility is being our best selves, to learn from our past and to make decisions that are right for us today. That is what we are responsible for. People may want to keep us where we were, but only we can keep ourselves, or put ourselves, back there.

It can be difficult to accept that those we love and know may not want to see us grow or flourish. That they might want to keep us back to make themselves feel better, or to continue living their lives in a particular way, or because they might have to look at themselves and their own behavior if they accept this new us. Once again, none of this is our problem, or, something we can control. What we can control is the choices we make today, how we act or react to the world around us, and what goals we put in front of ourselves to get to where we would like to go. It can be heartbreaking that others in our life are not there to cheer us on as we would them, and try to sabotage us, or hold us back, even by just verbally telling us what we “deserve” or share their opinion of where they think we should be, and just as they probably wouldn’t like us telling them what we think they deserve, their opinion should be kept to themselves, but often isn’t. We can’t control that. But, we can control how much time we give them and their opinion, and, we have to decide that how much time we give them, my experience has taught me, very little to none. If I had listened to certain people who had told me I would never be more than I was, or would fail, or, was reaching too high, I would be dead. No doubt. Instead I followed my heart and spirit, I listened to those who had gone before me and were in the trenches with me who knew this journey and path, and I dug in my heels determined to win, for myself, and I have. If people were or are not able to see my progress and how the changes I’ve made have enhanced my life and those around me, then that’s unfortunate for them. Today I don’t give my time to jealousy, to ignorance or to someone stuck in the past, I can find compassion for them and look to find understanding for their way of thinking, but I will not let it affect my day or the work I’ve done. I have worked very hard to get to the place I have and I won’t let anyone rob me of what I’ve earned.

We all walk our own path. Our journey may look similar, but no two are exactly the same. It is no one’s business what yours looks like as long as your path is filled with honesty, hope and the steps you need to be and become your best self. Own who you are, who you’ve been, and who you are becoming, and never let anyone pull you back or make you believe you are anyone than who you are right now, and who you are is a survivor, a warrior, and a freedom fighter, a fighter for your own freedom. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let the opinions of others dictate who you think you are what you think you deserve? Why do you do that? Do you have people in your life who only see how you used to be? Who are they? Why do you think they only see the past? Have you shown them you are not your past? How? Do you spend too much time trying to show them instead of letting who you are today be your example? SLAYER, you are a living breathing example of change, and if someone is not comfortable with that change, or does not want to see it in you, for whatever reason, that is not your responsibility, stand tall in who you are, who you’ve become and what you are becoming, and never let anyone tell you who are allowed to be.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Changing The Ending

As I kid I always enjoyed the choose your own adventure books. I loved that I could read the same story many times and never have the same adventure twice. But somewhere along the way I forgot about those books and that I had a choice in life. I believed certain things about myself and thought I was locked into that story until the end. I stayed loyal to that story to a fault, and my story nearly came to an end long before it should have. I’ve written before how we are the authors of our own story and we can decide where we go and who and what will be a part of our journey. But today I am thinking about the ending that I never thought was attainable for me, or that I was deserving it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe I’m anywhere near the end of my story today, but my story has taken a big turn for the better in the last year and a half, and it hasn’t come with some bumps in the road, but it’s brought me to a place full of love. Something, years ago I wouldn’t have trusted or believed could last.

On my path to this place my journey required me to get honest, to look at the mistakes I had made, and not dwell on them, but learn from them, to use them as a learning tool to improve myself and my life. As difficult as that was at times to face the truth about the harm I had done to myself, it gave me the power to know that I no longer had to make those same choices, why they were not the right choices for me, and, that I know could change my story and break the cycles of my past. I’ve shared before that my days before felt like I was living the same day over and over, and that no matter how much I wanted it to change it never did, until I did. I needed to take action for there to be change, and until I did I was going to continue to live that same day into the gates of insanity. Learning from the past gave me a map of where I didn’t want to go and the tools to walk forward on a new path. This new path didn’t come without it’s own set of challenges, but they weren’t the challenges I used to have, these challenges challenged me to be true to myself, to walk with an open mind and heart, and to trust that I was deserving of love, from myself, and those around me. I, on this new path, had nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide from and nothing to be dishonest about because I was living as my best self everyday. Some days brought out more of the best of me than others, but even on those days when I stumbled, it was still better than the I had been living in the past, and, that was part of my journey, not judging myself and needing to be perfect, admitting my faults and making a commitment to do better without beating myself up along the way. It also meant changing those patterns with people in my life and applying those changes with those who were new, if I wanted to be treated with the love and respect I deserved, I had to set those boundaries with those who didn’t yet know or those who were used to interacting with me the old way. That, at times, was scary, but when I began to practice it I felt a flood of emotion, to know that, at that moment, I had altered my story and ultimately was changing the ending.

We all have a past, some of which we may look back at fondly, and other parts we might try to hide from or mask with false bravado or distractions in the hopes that people won’t notice the truth about who we think we are. When we live in the light, when we live in a place of honesty and truth, we never have a reason to hide, we can admit our mistakes, learn from them, and continue moving forward to whatever ending it is that we desire. That ending, we so longingly wish for, is within reach, I know because I’m heading there right now. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think that you are stuck in the story of your past without the ability to move on? Why do you think this? What proves to you that this is true? Why do you think this is true? How can you change that thinking? How do you think your story would change if you no longer believed you were stuck in your current story? What story would you like to be in? How can you start living that story? What ending would you like to see for yourself? How can you get yourself there? Think about it SLAYER, think about it and do the work to get yourself there, it is there, within reach, but it starts with you, right where you are.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you