Good morning SLAYER! Rejection is nothing more than direction, make it work for you!
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
carrie genzel
Learning To Accept Rejection
Rejection used to devastate me. I would let it destroy my day, my relationships and my spirit. I gave rejection the power to validate me and value my place in this world. And I let it hurt me, and, at times, invited it to. Sometimes, I sought it out to hurt myself, to continue telling the narrative that I was a bad person who didn’t deserve good things. It was a constant internal battle, of me striving to reach goals and maintain healthy relationships in my life and me, subconsciously, wanting to tear it all down. I had to learn to accept rejection, and, learn not to use it as a personal weapon of assault.
When I was living in the dark, I constantly fought to find some light. I would muster any kind of postivity and hope I could, but there was always an underlying layer of doubt that would block me from ever fully believing I could attain what it was I was looking or working for. I also believed back then that rejection was the universe telling me I wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve what it was I wanted, and I let that belief continue to push me down into depression and despair. As I began to take the road of recovery and started to get better, I realized that rejection is nothing more than a change in direction. Sometimes it is there to save us from heading somewhere we shouldn’t be, or from a situation that may be harmful to us. It’s not always easy for us to see what rejection may be saving us from, but there have been many times, when I’ve looked back, where I was able to see how it had, and so in times that I may feel hurt or angry over not getting what I had wanted, I can lean on the faith that I have that I am being directed in the right direction and that that rejection was just that, a redirection, it wasn’t there to tell me I wasn’t good enough to have succeeded or have gotten what I wanted, but that I may have been looking in the wrong place. That negative chatter in our heads will always try to convince us otherwise, but it has ulterior motives, to keep us down. When we make a conscious effort to change our thinking, we can learn to look at rejection as something that may actually be helping us, showing us the way, teaching us, or letting us know where we need to improve or work a little harder, none of that is bad, if we choose to look at it as a tool to help us. I previously wrote a blog called, The Universe Is On Your Side, where I talk about living life as if it’s rigged in your favor, now I realize it doesn’t always seem that way, but when we choose to look at life’s rejections as guidance, we may be able to see how things aren’t as stacked up against us we think, or have been lead to believe.
Look for opportunities to make the rejections in your life tools to help you and show you the way. Don’t listen to that negative self-talk that tells you you’re not good enough or don’t deserve what you’re wanting and working for, counter that talk with some constructive chatter that allows you to look for another opportunity or place where you can share the best of what you’ve got, also allowing those moments to teach you and encourage you to learn and continue to improve in areas that will help to get you to where you want to go. Rejection, in many cases, may be a blessing, as they may be saving you from an even worse situation, or a place you are not meant to be in. Trust that the rejection in your life is there for a reason, and use that opportunity to explore where you should be going next. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let rejection get you down? Do you expect rejection in your life? If yes, why? When has rejection, looking back, actually saved you from something? What was that? How has it helped you to grow or learn? Has it pushed you to work harder or improve areas in your life? How? Do you see how rejection may be there to show you where to go and not go? Do you see how it can be, in many cases, a positive thing? How has it been positive in your life? Allowing ourselves to get beaten down by rejection is just a form of self-harm, allowing those negative places within us to take over and pull us into the darkness, take your power back and refuse to believe that place within us that feeds off negativity, allow the light to come in and choose to let rejection be a positive influence in your life, guiding you to where you are meant to be and allowing you to work to be your best self.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good afternoon SLAYER! It’s not the weight that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Not Everything That Weighs You Down Is Yours To Carry
This week has been heavy.
Not just in the day-to-day busyness, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
And as I took a step back, I asked myself a question I’ve learned to come back to again and again:
Is all of this mine to carry?
The answer?
No.
But that hasn’t stopped me from dragging it around—tight-chested, overwhelmed, and bone-tired.
Like many of us, I juggle a lot every day.
And most of the time, I believe I can handle it all.
Until I can’t.
Until I hit a wall.
And when I do, I don’t always meet myself with grace.
Sometimes, I meet myself with frustration and shame.
Even when I know better, I still find myself slipping into old habits—trying to carry it all.
No one is asking me to.
Help is there if I reach for it.
But there I go, dragging the weight of the world across some invisible finish line I made up in my head.
It’s time to pause.
To take a breath—or a few—and ask myself what I’ve picked up along the way that never belonged to me in the first place.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
We Learn to Carry What We Don’t Need
Before recovery, I carried everything.
It never occurred to me that I could set anything down.
The emotional weight.
The resentment.
The guilt.
The responsibility for people and problems that were never mine to begin with.
I just kept going—until I couldn’t.
Eventually, I hit a wall.
Hard.
And that wall was the wake-up call I needed.
I couldn’t live that way anymore.
It was slowly destroying me.
So I asked for help.
Not just with what I was carrying—but with how I lived.
Learning to Let Go of What’s Not Yours
Through recovery, I discovered something profound:
A lot of what I was carrying wasn’t mine.
Some of it was inherited—passed down through family, expectations, trauma.
Some of it I volunteered to carry—because I wanted to feel helpful, needed, or in control.
And some of it… I carried on purpose to sabotage myself.
To stay small.
To stay exhausted.
To prove that I couldn’t do more, be more, live more.
That’s the hard truth.
Sometimes, we don’t just carry what’s not ours—we choose it.
But once I got honest with myself, I realized I had a choice.
To let go.
To say no.
To only carry what actually belonged to me.
And that changed everything.
What’s Yours—and What’s Not
There will always be people who would gladly let you carry their weight.
There will be moments when you try to carry someone else’s pain, fear, or responsibility—uninvited.
But that doesn’t mean you have to.
Being helpful doesn’t mean taking on someone else’s journey.
Being strong doesn’t mean carrying more than you should.
Being loving doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.
We are responsible for ourselves.
For our peace.
For honoring what we need.
That starts with putting down what was never yours to carry in the first place.
SLAY Reflection: What Are You Carrying?
- Do you tend to carry more weight than you need to—physically, emotionally, or mentally?
What does that weight feel like? - What are you carrying that doesn’t actually belong to you?
Who gave it to you—and why did you accept it? - Are there responsibilities, emotions, or expectations you’ve taken on to feel valuable or in control?
How are they serving you? How are they hurting you? - What would it feel like to put that weight down—even just a little?
What would change? - What can you do today to lighten your load and honor your limits?
Where can you say no, ask for help, or simply rest?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one burden you’ve been carrying that isn’t actually yours—and how are you learning to let it go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s overwhelmed by weight they were never meant to carry, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! The first step to getting what you want is getting rid of what you don’t.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Impress people with the things you are, not the things you have.
SLAY on!
Never Search In The Branches For What Is Found In The Roots
Before walking my current path, I often would get distracted by shiny sparkly things. I had a constant list of things on my “want” list, and those things, when I did obtain them, became like a drug that I was continuously chasing. The items I was buying were like my armor, or so I thought, I wore each of them like a badge of honor, but that hit I would feel was fleeting, and then I was on the to next item on my list, chasing the same high. I was like that with people too, I didn’t collect them, but I would look for the people who were flashy, who looked good from the outside, and outside I admired or envied, and an outside I compared my insides to.
I always thought everyone else had it easier than did. I watched other people and wanted what they had, but I truly didn’t know what I was asking for, because all I was seeing was what was being presented to the world, and not what was truly going on. I didn’t even consider that there was possibly two different versions, even though I was presenting two myself. I just got caught up on what the outside looked like, thinking if I could make my outside look perfect than maybe I could have a shiny sparkly life too. No such luck. You see, what I was admiring, or attracted to, didn’t really exist a lot of the time, I was fixating on someone else’s seemingly incredible life, not realizing that there could be things I didn’t know. There were also a lot of things I didn’t know about myself, because I hadn’t bothered to ask, or, gotten to know myself, and instead of asking, I just kept trying to cover up those blank spaces with more shiny sparkly things.
When I made the commitment to get well I was told I had learn to love myself. I didn’t even know how to begin, or, if it was even possible. It was. And as I got to know myself for the first time, and, did learn to love myself, that long list of things I had been attracted to didn’t seem to important anymore. What was important was finding forgiveness for myself, and others, and to learn who I was and what was truly important to me. Turns out it was none of those exterior or material things that used dominate my time, and mind, it was finding an inner peace and filling myself with gratitude, love and connection to something bigger than myself. I also learned on my journey to finding those things that most of the people who I had admired, or even envied, for “having it all” or much of what I wanted, also had struggles and challenges of their own that I didn’t see. I realized that my journey and struggles was much like other people, who were also working to do the same as I, and that the solution was not in people, places and things I was trying to obtain or possess. I had to stop worrying about what my branches looked like to everyone else, and start focusing on the health of my roots. That is where my strength, happiness and freedom was, in the roots, if I was to grow and keep myself on solid footing and to keep myself nourished so I could continue to grow, I had to feel like l was on solid ground.
It’s easy to look around and assume that what we see is how it is, but most times it’s not. We, as a society then to put our best foot forward when we are out in the world, we show each other what we want to show, not necessarily the truth of what may be going on, and yet we judge ourselves and how we feel by these outside personas, which could be far removed from the reality of what’s truly going on. Finding a way to connect with your true self and what makes you feel whole is the way to finding peace, there isn’t anything that can be bought or obtained that can do that job or take it’s place, we may try, and it may work for a while, but ultimately the way to our peace is an inside job, one that will take a lot of honesty and courage to work on, but the one that will give you the most rewarding gift you can give yourself, freedom to love who you are and what you are, no matter what your branches may look like today. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to judge your insides to other people’s outsides? Do you realize you are doing this? How does it make you feel? Do you think it’s fare to do this to yourself? Do you present the best of yourself when you are out in the world? Do you think others do the same and do not share their real truth? If yes, then how can you compare how you feel with someone else based on what you see? Do you try to fill those gaps or holes inside with outside things? How do you this? Does it work? For how long? How do you think you can start to fill the gaps yourself, without reaching for something else to try to do the job for you? Work on that SLAYER. The true way, and only way to fill those gaps and feel whole is to love and honor yourself, to do and say those things that make you feel whole. Find what fills you up from the inside, find love for yourself and share that love, as you do those roots beneath your feet will become stronger and give you the foundation you need to shine and share your beautiful branches.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! No one can go back and make a brand new start, but you can start now and make a brand new ending.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Protect your peace by eliminating what disturbs it.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
If It Costs You Your Peace It’s Too Expensive
I used to let my stubbornness steal my peace.
If there was something I wanted, I was hellbent on making it happen—no matter the cost. I believed that pushing, forcing, and controlling the outcome was how you “won.” But all I really won was anxiety, burnout, and a whole lot of frustration.
Peace?
I didn’t even know what that looked like. And in my mind, if I had to sacrifice it to get what I wanted, so be it.
I also let relationships rob me of my peace. I gave them too much power, placed too much value on maintaining certain connections—whether or not they were good for me.
My life was one big internal tug-of-war between what I wanted and what was actually happening.
I was never at peace. And I didn’t realize just how much that was costing me.
Peace Is the New Priority
When I started this path, I was told something that stuck with me:
Your peace is more important than anything you’re chasing.
At first, I wasn’t sure how to take that. I thought it meant giving up. But it didn’t. It meant shifting my priorities—choosing myself.
It didn’t mean stop going after what I want. It meant not letting the pursuit of it wreck me in the process.
If what I’m chasing is costing me my peace?
It’s too expensive.
That became my new measuring stick.
When the Price Is Too High
When I feel anxiety start to build, when I feel myself getting defiant, angry, or obsessive—I know.
Whatever I’m chasing has tipped the scale.
It’s no longer about the goal—it’s about control.
And that’s when I have to step back.
This way of thinking was completely foreign to me at first.
I used to believe that pushing through the pain, sacrificing myself for the win, was what strength looked like.
I thought that was self-care—doing whatever it took to succeed.
But it wasn’t self-care. It was self-abandonment.
And I didn’t know the difference until I got honest about what peace actually meant.
Real Peace Is Rooted in Self-Love
Today, I know better.
True self-care doesn’t bulldoze you to the finish line.
It doesn’t demand you give up your mental, emotional, or spiritual well-being in the name of achievement or connection.
Real peace is quiet.
Gentle.
Steady.
And the more I protect it, the more clarity I have.
I no longer force things into being.
I no longer chase what isn’t meant for me.
I no longer need to prove I’m right or make something “work” when every sign tells me it’s not aligned.
That doesn’t mean I don’t work hard. I do.
It just means I work in a way that doesn’t betray myself in the process.
Peace Over Proving
Now when something feels “off,” I pause. I check in with myself.
Is this discomfort a sign I’m stepping out of my comfort zone—or is it warning me that my peace is at risk?
There’s a difference.
One is growth. The other is self-sacrifice.
Today, I choose peace. I protect it. I guard it like the sacred thing it is—because I’ve learned that nothing I want is worth losing it.
So when something feels forced or frantic, I ask myself:
Is it costing me my peace?
If the answer is yes, then it’s not worth it.
SLAY Reflection: Is It Worth Your Peace?
- What things or people are you allowing to steal your peace right now?
What’s the result of that? - Why do you continue to chase things at the cost of your well-being?
Is it a habit, fear, or need for control? - What does peace actually feel like for you?
And when was the last time you truly felt it? - What boundaries could you set to protect your peace more consistently?
What might change if you did? - What can you do today—right now—to honor your peace above all else?
Because it is not replaceable.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ve had to walk away from in order to protect your peace?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.And if you know someone who’s struggling to choose peace over pressure, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
