Mental Health

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What is meant to be will always find a way.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Patience Impatience

Patience Is To Sit In Your Suffering

Patience is a skill I never had when I was living in the dark. I wanted what I wanted—and I wanted it now. If something took longer than I thought it should, I unraveled. I’d stew in my own anxiety, convinced that worrying over it somehow meant I was “doing something.” But it never helped. In fact, it only made things worse.

The reality is, I was causing myself more pain by holding on.

Suffering Is Optional (But It Doesn’t Feel That Way)

When I started my journey toward healing, I had to face a hard truth: patience isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s powerful. It’s choosing to sit still when every part of you wants to control, manipulate, and fast-forward the process.

I was taught something simple, yet profound—do the footwork and let go. And actually let go. Not say I would, then sit in agony while pretending to surrender. That took time. It still does. But every time I allowed myself to sit in discomfort, without reacting, something shifted.

Here’s what I learned: the suffering didn’t come from the waiting—it came from the clinging.

Letting Go of the Illusion of Control

So much of my anxiety came from the belief that I had to manage everything. I believed I had the best plan, the right answers, and the perfect timeline. But that was just my ego talking. And when I realized how wrong I’d been before—how lost and broken I felt trying to run the show—it humbled me.

I had to accept that I wasn’t the director of the universe. That my vision was limited. That maybe—just maybe—there was a bigger plan unfolding, and my job was to participate, not dictate.

That’s where the power of patience lives. Not in forcing, but in trusting. Not in pushing, but in practicing peace. And the more I practiced, the less I suffered.

Choosing Peace Over Pressure

Let’s be honest—letting go is not easy. Especially when we care deeply about the outcome. But once we start to realize that the suffering is self-inflicted—that it’s not coming from the waiting, but how we wait—it becomes easier to breathe through it.

The truth is, when we choose to surrender, we reclaim our power.

Patience doesn’t mean inaction. It means taking the action that’s yours, and then releasing what isn’t. It means being OK with not knowing, trusting that the right things will unfold in the right time. That may feel uncomfortable at first. But comfort isn’t the goal—freedom is.

And freedom comes when we stop clinging to control and let go of the suffering we’ve been dragging around.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Release

  • Do you try to force outcomes instead of letting things unfold?

  • What’s the cost of that tension—emotionally, mentally, physically?

  • How do you feel when you’re able to truly let go?

  • What fear is keeping you in the suffering?

  • What step can you take today to release control and choose peace?

Suffering shows us where we’re clinging. Let it be your invitation to let go.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one area of your life where you’re holding on instead of letting go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to sit in the waiting, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to pause.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You can’t build on top of success you don’t acknowledge.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Be Proud Every Step

Don’t Forget To Check Your Odometer

Some of us move through life so fast we never catch up to ourselves—while others move forward without realizing just how far they’ve come. It’s always easier for someone else to notice the distance we’ve traveled before we do. We’re often too close to our own lives to see the growth clearly.

That’s where checking your odometer comes in.

We may not have a physical readout to track our personal mileage, but we do have markers—our habits, our choices, our relationships, and our emotional shifts. When we take the time to pause and reflect, we might just see that we’re not in the same place we were three months ago, a year ago, or even last week.

And if we are in the same place? That’s not shame. That’s information. A gentle cue that it might be time for new action.

How Far Have You Really Come?

Before I stepped on this path, I didn’t want to check the odometer. I didn’t want to be reminded that I wasn’t making progress—or worse, that I was moving in the wrong direction. I judged myself harshly and measured my worth based on where I thought I should be, instead of where I actually was.

I was living with blinders on—trapped in a cycle of self-criticism, isolation, and disconnection. It wasn’t until I asked for help that I started placing positive mile markers in my life. Each step forward, no matter how small, became something to build on. And even when I couldn’t see my own growth, the people around me could.

Their reflection helped me see the transformation happening inside of me—and over time, I started to believe it for myself.

Celebrate the Journey

You’ve come a long way. Even if you don’t feel like it, you have. Maybe you’ve let go of a toxic relationship. Maybe you’re managing your mental health better than you used to. Maybe you’re just waking up and trying—and that alone is progress worth celebrating.

Self-checks matter. They give us a chance to acknowledge our growth, recognize where we still want to go, and celebrate the resilience that brought us this far. And yes, even setbacks can be part of that progress—sometimes, they’re just a moment to pause and breathe before your next big leap.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to be proud of how far you’ve come. Own it.

You’re a survivor. A warrior. A kickass SLAYER.
Don’t forget that.
Don’t forget you.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Recalibrate

  • Do you notice the changes in yourself—or only when someone else points them out?

  • When others celebrate your growth, do you accept it? Or do you deflect?

  • How do you support and recognize growth in others? How would it feel to give yourself the same grace?

  • What’s one area where you’ve worked hard to grow? Write down the milestones that got you here.

  • Where are you today that felt impossible a year ago?

You’ve traveled further than you think. Don’t miss the view just because you forgot to check the odometer.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one win—big or small—you’ve had on your journey that you sometimes forget to celebrate?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who doesn’t see how far they’ve come, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.

SLAY TALK LIVE Video

Hey SLAYER! Thank you to those who joined me today for an hour of SLAY TALK LIVE, for those who couldn’t join us, here’s what you missed!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Thank you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Gratitude and Attitude

Start With Gratitude, End With Thank You

The Shift from Despair to Gratitude

There was a time when I woke up dreading the day ahead—angry that I had even woken up. I wasn’t looking for a new start. I wasn’t searching for light. I was living in a cycle of silent suffering, hoping that sleep would take me away from it all. But hoping isn’t a plan. Hoping isn’t healing.

It wasn’t until desperation pushed me to the edge that I found the courage to ask for help. That moment—the moment of deciding to share my truth—was my first act of gratitude, even if I didn’t see it that way at the time. It was gratitude for my own life, for a future I wasn’t sure I deserved but was willing to fight for.

Bookending the Day

When I reflect on how I stay positive—especially during challenging or uncertain times—I always come back to this: I begin and end my day with gratitude. It’s not complicated. Sometimes it’s a list. Sometimes it’s a pause and a silent thought. But it anchors me.

Throughout the day, life happens. Stress, frustration, and setbacks can pull me off course. But when I revisit my gratitude list—or take a small positive action—I’m reminded of what matters. At the end of the day, I say thank you. For everything. For the lessons, for the moments of peace, for the people, for the growth.

Living with Gratitude

Starting and ending the day with gratitude doesn’t guarantee a perfect day, but it sets the tone. It creates space for positivity. It invites me to see beyond the challenges.

When I wake up with dread, I pause and ask myself what I’m grateful for. Even on the toughest days, there’s something—a sliver of light, a moment of connection, a breath. And when I plan something to look forward to after a difficult task, it keeps me anchored in possibility.

Living a life of gratitude means being intentional. It means creating moments of thankfulness and allowing them to guide us. It’s not about ignoring hardship—it’s about finding resilience through gratitude.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you tend to start your day in a positive or negative mood?

  • What triggers a negative start for you?

  • How can you turn it around?

  • Have you tried gratitude practices before? If so, what worked? What didn’t?

  • Do you allow a negative morning to affect your entire day?

  • How can you incorporate gratitude into your routine to shift your mindset?

  • Do you consciously end your day with thankfulness? Why or why not?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re grateful for today?
Share it in the comments. Let’s uplift each other with gratitude.

And if you know someone struggling to find positivity, send this to them.
Sometimes, a simple “thank you” can be the spark they need.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Honest hearts produce honest actions.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Trush Day and Do

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Honesty saves you time from remembering all the lies.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Free Person

A Little Honesty Goes A Long Way

Coming from a life of hiding my truth, living in fear of being found out, and wanting to appear to be more than I was, I understand dishonesty. I lived a dishonest life, even from myself, so how could I be honest with others? I lied even when I didn’t need to, unaware of the weight of those lies. My life became a tangled web until I couldn’t keep track of it all, and the only truth left was that everything was unmanageable, and I had fallen so far into darkness I wasn’t sure I could find my way out.

Thankfully, someone came into my life and shared his honesty with me. That act gave me hope.

When I began walking the path of recovery, I had to learn to be honest, starting with myself. I had to stop believing the lies that kept me sick and face the truth. I had to get rigorously honest if I wanted to build a new life from the foundation up. That foundation had to be honesty. So, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

Facing the truth wasn’t always easy. It meant looking at my past actions, what I’d said, the harm I’d done to myself and others. My lies always pointed fingers outward, but the truth—the honest truth—was that I played a role in my pain and chaos. Letting go of my fear of judgment, I began to speak my truth. Even though my head told me not to, I charged ahead anyway. And on the other end of that honesty, I found support. People didn’t reject me or push me away—they offered their hand, their understanding, and their ear. As I shared my truth, my guilt, anger, and fear started to melt away.

I was taught, and continue to learn, to be honest about my intentions, my time, and what I am truly willing and able to contribute. It was scary at first, but as I practiced it, the results were always better. That doesn’t mean there weren’t disappointments or frustrations, but they were far fewer than when I was saying what I thought others wanted to hear.

The truth is, most people want the truth—not some made-up story to save face. Being honest shows not only respect for yourself but also for others. It shows vulnerability and opens the door for collaboration, understanding, and solutions we might not have found on our own. When we are honest, we have nothing to hide. And when we’re not spending our energy hiding, we are free.

Sometimes, we enter situations with the best intentions and realize the reality doesn’t match. Instead of pretending or keeping up appearances, try being honest. You may find that instead of working against you, others will work with you toward a solution. Even if things don’t go the way you hoped, the act of being honest itself is a win because you are speaking your truth, instead of pretending to be something—or someone—you’re not.

Be honest about who you are, what you can offer, and what you can truly give. As they say, the truth will set you free. And that freedom? It’s all in your hands.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you tend to be honest with others? If not, why?

  • Are you honest with yourself? If not, why not?

  • Has dishonesty caused you trouble in the past? How might things have changed if you’d been honest?

  • What can you do today to be more honest, with yourself and others?

  • Are you afraid of honesty? Why?

  • How can you begin letting go of fear and speak your truth?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one truth you’re ready to speak today—about yourself or to someone else?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone struggling to be honest with themselves, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to tell the truth.