self love journey

Adversity Shows Us Who We Are

In my journey, I’ve been through deep adversity before, and it has always shown me who I am. I haven’t always liked what I’ve seen, but I’ve come to understand that I have the power to change it.

Facing Ourselves

In our daily lives, we often fill our days with busyness—things that distract us from what we may not want to face about ourselves: our behaviors, our patterns, and the places we choose to live emotionally day after day. It’s easy to focus on other people, on places and things, and avoid the inner work that requires honesty. For much of my adult life, I did exactly that. I numbed, distracted, and ran from myself until I hit an emotional and spiritual bottom. Suddenly, I had no choice but to face who I truly was.

It wasn’t easy. I had spent so long running from my feelings and stuffing down the emotions I didn’t want to admit even existed. Looking at myself felt nearly impossible. But adversity leaves us with two choices: give up and sink deeper or choose to fight for our lives.

Surrender Is Strength

The adversity I faced with my mental health forced me into a corner. To survive, I had to surrender and ask for help. The word surrender used to feel like weakness to me. I thought it was something only people who weren’t strong did. But the moment I let go, the moment I admitted I couldn’t do it alone, was the strongest decision I ever made.

That act of surrender allowed me to take my power back. It was only the start—I had to continue to be honest about myself and my past. That honesty wasn’t always easy, but if I was ever going to build a life worth living, I had to stop hiding behind lies and half-truths. I had to commit to showing up for myself fully.

Looking in the Mirror

When the curtain is pulled back and all you’re left with is a mirror, there is no moment more humbling. I stood there and saw hate, sadness, and defeat staring back at me. But I was encouraged to find even one small good thing, one spark of light. It was hard at first, but even the smallest bit of goodness was a starting point. From there, I could begin to rebuild.

The journey from self-hatred to self-love wasn’t easy, but every step, every tear, and every hard truth was worth it. Today, I can look in the mirror with compassion and gratitude for how far I’ve come.

Adversity in the Present

Today, we face a new kind of adversity. It’s one that isn’t of our own making, but it affects every part of our lives. As we’re forced to slow down, to pause the busyness we’ve come to rely on, this adversity is holding up a mirror once again.

This time offers us the opportunity to see who we truly are. If we don’t like what we see, life is giving us a chance to change. Maybe that’s one of the greatest lessons from this pause: a reset, an opportunity to return to ourselves and realign with what really matters.

This is a time to shine—not only for ourselves but for those who need our light. It’s an invitation to reflect, to reset, and to emerge stronger and more grounded.

Are you liking what adversity is showing you? If not, it’s time to get to work.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

  • Have there been times in your life where adversity has shown you who you are?

  • Did you like what you saw?

  • What did you do to change that?

  • During this time of adversity, are you liking what you’re seeing?

  • What don’t you like? What can you do to change it?

  • Reflect and make some changes. Love yourself through them, and remember: we’re all walking through this together.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What has adversity shown you about yourself, and how are you working to change or embrace that?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s navigating their own adversity, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

It Starts In Our Thoughts

I used to believe my biggest problem was everything outside of me. The people. The situations. The pain I carried. But when I got still—really still—I realized something that rocked me to my core: my real issue was my thinking.

That truth was a hard pill to swallow. I saw myself as smart, self-sufficient, capable. So to admit that my own mind was the source of my suffering? That was humbling. But it was also the key to my healing.

When Your Mind Becomes the Battlefield

For years, I tried to fix my life with outside solutions. Food, alcohol, work, relationships—anything to distract or numb the noise in my head. But no matter what I used, the chaos always came back.

Because the problem wasn’t what was around me. The problem was what was going on inside me.

My thinking had become a bully, one that convinced me I was broken, unworthy, and doomed to stay that way. And the more I listened, the more I suffered.

Admitting the Truth (and Taking Back My Power)

The turning point came when I hit my emotional and spiritual bottom. I had to face the truth: My best thinking had gotten me here.

So I stopped trying to outthink the pain, and I started getting help. Recovery work. Support groups. Therapy. People who understood this path and weren’t afraid to tell the truth. The more I shared, the less power my thoughts had over me.

I began learning new tools—meditation, reframing, gratitude. I started asking for perspective instead of assuming my perspective was fact. And I promised myself I would stay teachable, because the moment I think I know it all? That’s when I’m in trouble.

Watch Your Thoughts—They Become Your Reality

Our thoughts shape our perception. And our perception shapes our choices. If your thoughts are rooted in shame, fear, or scarcity, your life will reflect that.

But when you begin to challenge those thoughts, you shift your reality.

Today, I ask myself:

  • Is this thought true, or just familiar?
  • Is it coming from love or fear?
  • Does this thought serve the version of me I’m becoming?

You don’t have to believe everything you think. And you don’t have to let your mind run the show.

You Can Rewrite the Story

If your thoughts have been taking you down, know this: you can take back the pen. You are not your thoughts. You are the one witnessing them.

With support, honesty, and consistency, you can rewire your mind. You can heal what once felt permanent. And you can choose thoughts that empower rather than destroy.

Don’t let your thoughts bully you out of the life you’re here to live. Shine a light on them. Bring them into the open. Then take one brave step in a new direction.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection

  1. When has your thinking gotten you into trouble?
  2. What are the recurring negative thoughts you notice most often?
  3. Have you ever challenged a thought and discovered it wasn’t true?
  4. What tools help you shift into a more positive mindset?
  5. What’s one belief you’re ready to release today?

S-L-A-Y:

  • See your thoughts clearly and call them out.
  • Let go of the need to control them all—just notice.
  • Ask for support and seek out truth-tellers.
  • You are not your thoughts—you are your healing.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What thought are you ready to stop believing today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a negative thought loop, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

If You’re Thinking Long You’re Thinking Wrong

Overthinking is something most of us know all too well. Whether we’re trying to talk ourselves into a decision we know deep down isn’t right, delaying a choice we don’t want to face, or spinning our wheels in solo analysis instead of asking for help—we waste a lot of time trying to force a result that usually isn’t meant for us.

I’ve done it more times than I can count. I would think a situation to death, trying to make it make sense or to justify an action I wanted to take. And almost always, that thinking led me in circles. No resolution. No peace. Just more confusion.

Thinking Isn’t the Problem—Overthinking Is

There’s value in pausing to make a thoughtful choice. But when that pause becomes paralysis? That’s usually a red flag.

In my past, I often sat in silence with my thoughts. I wouldn’t share them. I wouldn’t ask for help. I just stayed stuck—spinning in fear, doubt, and self-sabotage. My negative inner voice had full control, and the longer I stayed in my head, the more power I gave it. That thinking nearly cost me my life. Because at some point, I had to face the truth: my thinking alone wasn’t always trustworthy.

Recovery taught me something vital: just because I think it doesn’t make it true. And just because I want something to work, doesn’t mean it’s right.

Gut Check: What’s Really Going On?

When we find ourselves overthinking, it’s often because we’re trying to:

  • Force something that isn’t right
  • Avoid something we don’t want to face
  • Convince ourselves to go against our intuition

Sometimes, our mind will fight our gut. Our fear will argue with our truth. That’s why it’s so important to stay honest—and to talk it out with someone you trust.

You don’t have to think your way out of everything alone. Insight often comes when we open up, ask questions, and let others help us see clearly.

Action Beats Inaction

Long thinking is often a mask for fear. But taking action—even one small step—can break the loop.

If you’ve been stuck in thought, ask yourself:

  • What am I really afraid of?
  • What’s one action I can take to move forward?
  • Who can I talk to about this?

Not every decision needs weeks of thought. Sometimes, you already know the answer—you’re just scared to act on it.

Trust yourself enough to try. And if it’s the wrong move? You can course correct. But don’t let thinking be the reason you stay stuck.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: What’s Keeping You Stuck?

  • Do you find yourself overthinking important decisions? What does that usually look like for you?
  • Have you talked yourself out of action before? Why?
  • What’s one decision you’ve been sitting on for too long?
  • What’s one step you can take today to move forward?
  • Who could you talk to for clarity or support?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one decision you’re ready to stop overthinking and finally act on?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in their head, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little clarity—and a nudge to begin.

What Are You Going To Do About It?

We all have those days—the ones where everything feels off, and the voice in our head won’t stop pointing out what’s wrong. It’s easy to slip into negativity. To complain, spiral, and believe we’re stuck. But when the clouds gather, there’s one question that cuts through the noise:

What are you going to do about it?

Negativity Can Become a Habit

There was a time when negativity was my default. No matter what I had or how good things should’ve been, I’d find the flaw. I’d vent, criticize, and stay stuck in that cycle—not realizing I was cementing the very misery I wanted to escape.

I told myself I was making changes. But in reality, I was chasing quick fixes—temporary solutions that numbed the discomfort without addressing the root. The result? A deeper hole, darker thoughts, and more reasons to stay stuck.

It’s not just that complaining feeds negativity. It’s that it validates it. Every time I repeated my negative thoughts out loud, I gave them more power. And the more I listened, the more they became my truth.

The Power of Action

When I finally asked for help and began my healing journey, I realized how much control I actually had. Not over others. Not over circumstances. But over how I respond.

If I woke up expecting a bad day, that’s exactly what I got. But when I shifted my mindset—when I took intentional steps to create good—I started experiencing good. Not perfect. But better. Brighter.

The truth is: no one is coming to save us. We can receive support, yes. But lasting change comes when we take ownership. When we stop waiting for our life to fix itself and choose to be the one who takes action.

That’s where self-love kicks in. Not the feel-good fluff, but the real work: showing up for yourself when it’s hard. Creating small wins. Caring for your body, your mind, your spirit—even when it feels easier to quit.

From Reaction to Response

It’s easy to fall into victim mode. But that doesn’t mean we’re helpless. The shift happens the moment we pause and ask:

What can I do about this—right now?

Can I get up and go for a walk? Take a deep breath? Make a to-do list? Reach out to someone? Focus on gratitude? Take one small action that reminds me I’m in charge of my own energy?

You don’t have to fix everything at once. But doing something breaks the cycle.

Because staying in the same place and expecting a different outcome? That’s a trap. And you’re too powerful to stay stuck.

Progress Over Perfection

No one gets it right every day. Some days will be messy. You’ll slip. You’ll spiral. That’s okay.

But if you keep showing up—even imperfectly—you’ll build momentum. And over time, those small choices add up.

  • You’ll feel stronger.
  • You’ll feel braver.
  • You’ll start to believe in your own worth.

You deserve a life that feels good from the inside out. And it starts with asking yourself the hard question—and answering it with love.

So next time you catch yourself complaining, pause. Ask:

What am I going to do about it?

Then take the first step.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you notice yourself slipping into negative thinking often? What triggers it?
  2. How do you usually respond when those thoughts arise?
  3. What small action helps shift you out of a negative space?
  4. Do you believe you deserve a better experience? If not, why?
  5. What’s one positive step you can commit to today?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Spot the spiral
  • Lean into self-awareness
  • Act with intention
  • You hold the power to change your day

Call to Action: Join the Conversation I’d love to hear from you.
When you feel stuck in negative thinking, what’s one thing you do to break the cycle?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been feeling overwhelmed or defeated, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Guilt Is Trying To Control The Past, Fear Is Trying To Control The Future

All we have control over is the right here and now. And even then, really, we only have control over how we respond to it. Sure, we can take action to work toward a goal, or choose actions that align with our best selves, but control, in the way we often seek it, is an illusion.

When we try to control the uncontrollable, we send ourselves spinning off into a task we cannot complete. Many times, our need or want for control manifests itself in guilt and fear. We feel guilt over what we have done in the past, over words unspoken or actions not taken. We feel fear about what has yet to happen, worrying we won’t do what we should or won’t get what we want. Neither of these places is a healthy place to live.

Instead of pouring energy into trying to control what has already happened or what has yet to come, we should focus on what we can do in this given moment.

The Trap of Guilt and Fear

When I was living in the dark, I spent a lot of time in the past and the future. The present felt lonely and terrifying. Even though I found no real comfort in reliving the past or projecting into the future, it still seemed better than facing where I was.

I spent thousands of hours berating myself over past moments, decisions, and imagined better responses. I sat paralyzed with fear over what might come next. This cycle of guilt and fear kept me sick for years, until finally the present moment became too unbearable to ignore.

Learning to Stay in the Now

It took a lot of courage to sit in the present, to truly listen, to sit still, and to focus only on what was in front of me. It was deeply uncomfortable at first. My anxiety would spike. But I was told to breathe through it, to find some comfort there. It took a lot of breathing, but the breath was the key to walking through my anxious thoughts and learning to stay rooted in the here and now.

Like any new behavior, the more it is practiced, the easier it gets—leaving room for days when it still feels almost impossible. But with willingness, it’s a practice that can be strengthened.

Reflection and Awareness

Today, my mind still wanders back to the past or into the future, but I know I can’t control either. When it happens, I take note of why. Is there unfinished business? Is my mind leaping forward because I’m avoiding something in the present?

I’ve learned that I can’t control life—past, present, or future—but I can control how I respond to it. I can control the actions I take to prepare for what’s to come and the steps I take to stay true to my path today.

The Freedom of Presence

It’s easy to escape the present by dwelling on the past or fretting over the future. But doing so robs us of the moments right in front of us—the ones that deserve our respect and love.

We all have an abundance of choices each day. All we can do is the best we can in each moment. Yes, we may look back and wish we’d done things differently, but instead of guilt, we can use those lessons to guide us. When we implement those lessons in our present day, we free ourselves from unnecessary fear about the future.

All we truly have is right here, right now. The next move is yours to make—choose the one that keeps you grounded.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY:

  • Do you tend to live in the past or future?

  • What is the result of that?

  • How does it help you? How does it harm you?

  • What keeps you from living in the present moment?

  • How can you change that?

  • What do you try to control in your life? Are you able to?

  • How does it affect you when you can’t?

  • Do you suffer from guilt or fear? How so?
    SLAYER, the action we can take is in this moment—everything else is out of our hands. Use this moment to do something your future self will thank you for.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Do you find yourself stuck in guilt or fear? How do you bring yourself back to the present moment?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s wrestling with guilt or fear, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Don’t Have To Be A Bully To Win

Choosing Strength Without Losing Yourself

There’s a moment many of us can point to — where we made ourselves smaller so someone else could feel bigger. Where we let a louder voice drown out our quieter truth. Where we convinced ourselves that the only way to keep peace, keep harmony, keep connection… was to let someone else take the spotlight or the power.

I’ve been there more times than I can count.

And for a long stretch of my life, I believed a dangerous lie:
That the only way to win was to push, dominate, or overpower.
That the world rewarded sharp edges, not steady hearts.
That kindness was weakness, and compassion was a liability.

Except… every time I tried to step into that version of “strength,” I felt like I was abandoning myself. Winning didn’t feel like winning if I had to step out of integrity to get there. It felt hollow. It felt false. It felt like I was playing a role someone else demanded of me.

It took years to understand what I know now:

The loudest person in the room isn’t the strongest — just the loudest.
Real power doesn’t need to humiliate anyone to stand tall.
And you never have to be a bully to win.

The Myth of “Hardness” as Power

So many of us grew up observing people who led with fear, not respect. Maybe it was in our home, our school, our workplace, or even our friendships. People who believed intimidation equaled leadership. People who measured their worth through dominance. People who confused cruelty with competence.

Maybe those were the people who seemed to get rewarded. They got attention. They got results. They got their way.

And somewhere along the line, we internalized the belief that:

  • If we wanted to succeed, we had to be more like them.

  • If we stayed soft, we’d get run over.

  • If we stayed compassionate, we’d get crushed.

But here’s the truth we weren’t taught:

Strength without empathy is insecurity.
Confidence without humility is ego.
Power without kindness is fear dressed as control.

None of that is leadership.
None of that is winning.
None of that is sustainable.

Power built on intimidation crumbles the moment someone refuses to be intimidated.

Kindness Is Not Weakness — It’s Precision

People often misunderstand compassion. They confuse it with people-pleasing. They mistake boundaries for cruelty and softness for passivity.

But kindness is not a lack of backbone.
Kindness is not the absence of truth.
Kindness is not silence in the face of harm.

Kindness is precision.
It’s the ability to see clearly when others act from fear.
It’s the ability to hold your shape instead of collapsing into theirs.
It’s the bravery to choose integrity even when someone else chooses force.

Kindness is strength with the volume turned down — and the clarity turned up.

Winning with kindness means:

  • You don’t betray yourself.

  • You don’t hurt others to lift yourself higher.

  • You don’t weaponize your voice or your power.

  • You don’t step outside your values to gain validation.

It means you succeed as yourself, not as a costume someone else taught you to wear.

Standing Strong Without Striking Back

There is a quiet moment — the moment between hurt and response — where we decide who we want to be.

When someone else raises their voice, throws their weight around, or tries to provoke a reaction, you get to choose:

Do you match their energy?
Or do you rise above it?

Do you let their behavior define the moment?
Or do you let your integrity define you?

Choosing not to bully back is not weakness.
Choosing not to belittle is not submission.
Choosing not to retaliate is not letting them win.

It’s choosing peace over chaos.
It’s choosing self-respect over reactivity.
It’s choosing your future over a moment of validation.

Strength isn’t proven through force — it’s proven through discipline.

Winning By Staying in Integrity

Here’s what no one tells you:

When you stop engaging in someone else’s game, they lose control of the scoreboard.

Winning without bullying looks like:

  • Setting a boundary and sticking to it.

  • Walking away from disrespect instead of debating it.

  • Saying “No” without explanation or apology.

  • Refusing to match someone else’s cruelty.

  • Choosing peace even when chaos tempts you.

  • Being confident enough not to dominate.

  • Leading by example, not intimidation.

When you choose integrity, you reclaim the power they hoped you’d abandon.

When you choose grounding, you interrupt the cycle.

When you choose compassion — for yourself and others — you create a new standard of strength.

And when you stop trying to outperform someone’s ego, you start outperforming your own past.

You Win Every Time You Don’t Become What Hurt You

What if winning isn’t about beating someone else?

What if winning is:

  • Becoming who you needed when you were younger

  • Responding instead of reacting

  • Growing instead of repeating patterns

  • Standing tall without stepping on anyone

  • Being the person who breaks generational cycles

  • Choosing softness in a world that worships hardness

What if the real victory is becoming someone you’re proud of?

Because every time you refuse to become what tried to break you, you win.

Every time you choose compassion over ego, you win.

Every time you stay rooted instead of rattled, you win.

Every time you lead with integrity, you win.

You don’t have to be a bully to win.
You just have to be brave enough to stay yourself.

SLAY Reflection

Take a moment and check in with yourself. Let these questions guide what comes next:

S — Sit With Your Truth

Where in your life have you believed you had to act harder, sharper, or louder just to be heard?

L — Look at the Pattern

Who taught you that compassion was weakness? And were they actually strong — or simply scared?

A — Align With Your Values

How can you choose strength with kindness in the next conflict or challenge?

Y — Yield to Growth

What becomes possible when you stop fighting battles that require you to betray yourself?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
When have you chosen integrity over intimidation, and how did it change the outcome?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s trying to find their power without losing their kindness, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Overthinking Overtalking

There is so much power in a pause—not just from our mouths, but from our minds.

Before walking this path, I was always thinking and talking too much. Worried that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted or that I would lose what I had, my mind and mouth were always running. Part of it was my desire to control the uncontrollable—people, places, and things around me. And part of it was that I didn’t trust myself, or that I was enough or had done enough.

My overthinking and overtalking would kick in, exhausting me and causing my mind to spiral as I tried to figure out every possible angle. I had to learn to trust myself—and the footwork I had done. I had to believe that I, and it, were enough.

The Root of the Noise

Reaching that point took a lot of work. When I stepped onto this path, I realized that I didn’t trust myself or believe I was enough in any way that counted. To counteract that feeling, I overthought and overtalked, hoping to appear prepared and to prove I had something of value to add. But in reality, I was only closing myself off from the world.

I was so determined to think and talk my way through life that I wasn’t listening, observing, or just being in the moment. It’s in those quiet spaces where we learn and take in the most. Not knowing how to calm my mind, I let it—and my mouth—run wild, assuming I’d hit the mark eventually if I just kept shooting in the general direction. I wasted a lot of energy shooting in the dark.

Learning to Trust Myself

Learning to love myself and to accept that I was enough became the turning point. It became less important to prove that to others. I knew I was enough, and that was enough.

I learned to slow down—through breathing, pausing, and listening. It’s amazing what we learn when we listen and allow ourselves to not know everything. I committed to saying yes to new things, to learning what I truly liked, rather than assuming or condemning something before even trying it. Once I opened myself up, I realized how little I did know.

The answers tend to come in those quiet spaces—in the moments when we stop, find some peace, and just be. And finding that peace took time and trust. I had always felt I had good intuition, so I began to connect with that place, practicing it daily. When I’m uncertain about the next right thing, I go there to listen for the answers. They don’t always come when I’d like, but they do when they’re meant to.

I also discovered the magic of writing. When I sit and write how I feel, I’m always amazed at the insights that emerge. The answers begin to form right before my eyes.

The Power of Listening

Today, I often find myself quiet—not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I know something better might come if I just listen. And when I know I’ve done what I can, I let it go and allow it to unfold as it’s meant to. I don’t get in the way or continue doing the work I’ve already done, hoping I can force the outcome. I’ve learned the hard way that I cannot.

Allow yourself to listen and find the answers. None of us knows everything, and you might be amazed at what’s right in front of you, showing you the way. Leave room for exploration, humility, and direction. You might be surprised at what you discover if you step aside and let it in.

SLAY OF THE DAY:

  • Do you tend to overthink and overtalk? How does it show up for you?

  • Why do you think you do this? Have you always done it?

  • How does it harm you? How can you create space today to pause and just listen?

  • When have answers come to you because you allowed yourself to be quiet? Write down an example.

  • Remember: when we let go and listen, we give the answers space to come in.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ll practice quieting your mind and listening for the answers today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who struggles with overthinking or overtalking, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Don’t Have To Meet Anyone Else’s Expectations

The holidays can bring so much joy—but they can also bring pressure, guilt, and emotional exhaustion. Too often, we show up out of obligation rather than desire. We put on a smile, check the box, and leave feeling drained. But here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone your presence at the expense of your peace.

Early in my healing journey, I had to start asking myself a new question before saying yes to an invitation:

“Do I truly want to be there—or do I just think I should?”

I’m not talking about what society expects. I’m not talking about guilt. I’m talking about truth. Your obligation is to your well-being. Not someone’s idea of what the holidays should look like.

You Don’t Owe Anyone Your Peace

Let’s be real: taking care of yourself will make some people uncomfortable. They’ll say you’re selfish. They’ll say you’re being dramatic. And sometimes, the loudest pushback comes from the people who benefit most from your lack of boundaries.

But their comfort isn’t your job. Your mental, emotional, and spiritual health is.

How many times have we said yes when we meant no, only to spend the event feeling resentful, drained, or on the verge of a breakdown? How many times have we promised ourselves never again—only to do it again next year?

That cycle ends when you decide your peace is more important than someone else’s perception.

Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect

When I stay rooted in the moment and check in with myself—without spiraling into what-ifs or worrying about reactions—I stay honest. If I’m not in a good place to show up, I say so.

Sometimes I offer context. Sometimes I don’t. You’re allowed to protect your peace without explaining yourself to everyone.

Will people always understand? No. Will some talk behind your back? Maybe. But those reactions say more about them than they do about you. You’re not here to meet other people’s expectations—you’re here to protect your energy.

Your Well-Being Isn’t Up for Debate

Especially during the holidays, it’s easy to feel pulled in a dozen directions. But the best gift you can give yourself is permission—permission to check in, to say no, to leave early, to skip the party entirely if that’s what you need.

Maybe that means going for a walk instead of going to dinner. Maybe it’s choosing solitude over small talk. Or maybe it’s showing up—but doing so on your own terms.

Whatever honors your journey, your growth, your peace… do that. You deserve to move through this season in a way that aligns with your truth.

And if someone doesn’t understand? That’s okay. You’re not for everyone. But you are for you.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you feel pressure to say yes out of obligation? Why?
  2. How do you feel during and after events that don’t serve you?
  3. What boundaries could you set this season to protect your peace?
  4. Have you ever said no and felt empowered by that decision? What happened?
  5. What might it look like to put your well-being first—just for today?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Stop and ask yourself: “What do I want?”
  • Let go of guilt-based decisions.
  • Acknowledge when you’re acting out of obligation.
  • You have permission to choose peace.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one expectation you’re ready to release this season—and how will you reclaim your peace instead?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling the pressure to show up for everyone else, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.

Expressing Emotion Is A Strength Not A Character Flaw

Let’s get one thing straight: your emotions aren’t flaws—they’re signals. And when you express them, especially the hard ones, you’re not being dramatic—you’re being brave.

I used to think otherwise. I believed showing emotion made me weak, messy, or a burden. So I swallowed my sadness. I masked my fear. I let anger lead because it felt powerful—until it didn’t.

What I didn’t realize then is what I know now:

Pretending you’re fine when you’re not doesn’t make you strong—it keeps you stuck.

I Wasn’t Okay, and That’s Okay

Before I found this path, I believed the lie that being emotional meant I was broken. I wore “I’m fine” like armor. But underneath? I was drowning.

I thought if I kept it all inside, I’d stay in control. But all I did was isolate myself.

When I finally whispered, “I’m not okay,” I expected the world to crumble.

It didn’t.

Instead, it got quieter. Lighter. Kinder.

Speaking Truth Set Me Free

I started sharing more—first in small, scared ways. A tear I didn’t hide. A truth I told out loud. And I discovered something wild:

My emotions didn’t make me weak. They made me real.

And in being real, I connected.

People didn’t run. They leaned in.

They said, “Me too.”

Expression Became My Strength

Every time I gave my emotions a voice, I took my power back.

  • I wasn’t hiding.
  • I wasn’t shrinking.
  • I was healing.

I stopped believing the lie that vulnerability is a liability. I started believing this instead:

Telling the truth—even when your voice shakes—is the most powerful thing you can do.

Boundaries Matter. So Does Honesty.

Let me be clear: You don’t have to spill your soul to everyone. Not all feelings need a stage—but they do deserve space.

Even saying a simple, “I’m not okay right now” can be the start of something powerful.

Because emotional honesty doesn’t just free you—it invites others to show up too.

And that’s how we build the connection we crave.

SLAY Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • Are you hiding your feelings to appear “strong”?
  • What one emotion are you holding in right now?
  • What do you fear will happen if you express it?
  • What do you hope might happen if you do?
  • Who is one safe person you could open up to this week?

Your voice deserves to be heard—especially by you.

S – L – A – Y

S: Stop pretending you’re fine when you’re not.
L: Listen to your emotions without judgment.
A: Allow yourself to feel and share.
Y: Yield to the healing power of emotional honesty.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What emotion have you been holding in—and what might change if you gave it a voice?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been holding it all in, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Do You Like To Star In Your Own Junkologue?

We all have a past. We all have pain. But some of us don’t just carry it—we perform it. Over and over. Like a monologue we’ve rehearsed so well, it becomes our identity. If that sounds familiar, you might be starring in what I call your junkologue.

It’s that loop where you retell the same stories of pain, betrayal, and hardship—not to heal, but to get a reaction. Maybe it’s sympathy. Maybe it’s validation. Maybe it’s just to be seen. But here’s the thing: living in your junk keeps you from living in your truth.

Are You Telling It or Reliving It?

There’s a difference between sharing your story and clinging to it. We often convince ourselves we’re “working through” something when in reality, we’re rehashing it to stay stuck.

Before I found the courage to get help, I was the lead in my junkologue. I told my tales of pain like war stories—always the victim, never the villain. I’d exaggerate to gain sympathy or manipulate situations to my advantage. It wasn’t humility. It was a form of emotional exhibitionism—a way to keep myself small while trying to feel important.

I told myself I was being vulnerable. But I wasn’t. I was addicted to the attention my wounds gave me. And the people who stuck around? They were often stuck in their own junk too. Misery doesn’t just love company—it curates it.

The Shift From Performance to Purpose

Everything changed when I started asking the hard questions: Why am I telling this story? What am I hoping to gain? Am I using it to inspire—or to indulge?

That’s when I discovered what true humility really meant. It wasn’t putting myself down publicly for applause. It was being honest about my part in the story. It was making amends, not just confessions.

Now, if I share a piece of my past, it’s with purpose—to support, connect, or guide. Not to center myself in pain, but to show what healing looks like.

Your junkologue doesn’t have to be your identity. It can be your origin story—but only if you let yourself grow beyond it.

What’s Your Motivation?

Your story is powerful. But ask yourself: Are you using it to heal—or to hide?

  • Are you sharing to connect, or to compete?
  • Are you expressing yourself, or performing a role?
  • Are you owning your part—or just retelling how others hurt you?

If you’re constantly the victim in every version of your story, it might be time to zoom out. See your patterns. See your choices. See your growth.

Because you are not your worst moments. You are not your junk. You are who you decide to become next.

Being a SLAYER Means Owning the Mic With Intention

We’ve all survived things. But survival isn’t the goal—thriving is.

So the next time you feel the urge to share your junkologue, pause. Ask yourself: Is this for healing, or habit? Is this story helping me evolve—or keeping me stuck?

When we tell our stories with ownership, honesty, and heart, they lift us—and those listening. When we tell them for attention or control, they keep us in the shadows.

You get to choose which version you tell. And more importantly—you get to choose what comes next.

Step out of your junkologue, and into your power. That’s how we Slay.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you tend to repeat certain stories from your past? Why?
  2. How do you feel during and after sharing those stories?
  3. What are you hoping others will give you when you share them?
  4. Are you honest about your part in those stories?
  5. What could shift if you reframed your story as a source of strength, not pain?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Share with purpose, not pity
  • Let go of old narratives that no longer serve
  • Acknowledge your part and your progress
  • You control the next chapter of your story

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Do you ever catch yourself performing your junkologue? What helps you shift into healing mode instead?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in the loop of their old story, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.