self compassion

Slay Say

Every Step Counts

Not every day will be a sprint—and that’s not a failure. Some days will feel like momentum, others like maintenance. And that’s still progress.

The truth is, life isn’t about hitting your peak every single day—it’s about honoring where you are and showing up in a way that’s true to that moment. Some days you’ll move mountains. Other days, you’ll simply stand your ground. Both matter.

Progress is built in moments, not just milestones. The small steps you take on your slowest days are just as valuable as the leaps you take on your strongest ones.

This is your reminder to celebrate the fact that you’re still moving forward, no matter the pace.

SLAY on!

Slay Say

Love From Within

We all want to feel seen. Valued. Chosen.
But chasing validation from others can leave us emptier than before.

Because the most powerful kind of love?
The kind you don’t have to earn.
The kind you give yourself.

Let your inner voice speak with compassion.
Let your worth be non-negotiable.
Let your self-love be louder than your longing.

This is your reminder: You don’t need to be picked to belong to yourself.

SLAY on!

Slay Say

The Path Is Through the Dark

Some days the light feels far away. You’re tired, uncertain, questioning whether you have it in you to keep going. But this is when the shift begins—not by chasing the light, but by standing still in the dark and facing what’s there.

Healing doesn’t just happen in the light—it begins the moment you stop running from your shadows and decide to meet yourself in the dark.

You won’t find the light by avoiding the dark. You’ll find it by healing your way through it. The light isn’t the starting point—it’s the result. It’s the reward. The proof that you met yourself, did the work, and rose from what tried to hold you down.

This is your reminder to meet yourself where you are—your healing is the key to the light.

A black and white quote that says: "Healing begins when you stop running from your shadows and face yourself with honesty."

Accepting Kindness

We’re often quick to share kindness—offering help, lending an ear, giving generously. But receiving it? That’s where many of us stumble. We second-guess it. We deflect. We tell ourselves we haven’t earned it, that we’re not worthy. But here’s the truth: kindness isn’t something we have to earn. It’s something we all deserve—and learning to receive it is just as powerful as learning to give it.

The Tug-of-War of Worth

Before I found the path I’m on now, I wasn’t big on giving kindness freely—and when I did, it was usually with strings attached. I wanted something in return, even if it was just validation. But I also believed I didn’t deserve kindness in return. There was a constant tug-of-war in my head: I wanted more kindness in my life, but I didn’t think I was worthy of it.

As I began healing, I was encouraged to start small. Ask someone how their day was and really listen. Hold space. Offer support. Those were simple acts I could give. But when it came to receiving kindness—from compliments to genuine help—I didn’t know what to do with it. A friend told me something that changed my thinking: “If you don’t accept someone’s kindness, you’re rejecting their intention. You’re telling them they’re wrong for thinking you deserve it.”

That hit me. Hard.

Receiving Is Also Giving

So I started saying thank you. Even when it made me uncomfortable. Even when my inner critic screamed I hadn’t earned it. And you know what happened? I started to believe it. I started to see myself through the eyes of those offering kindness. And I realized: by receiving their gift, I was giving something back. I was honoring their choice to give. I was sharing a moment of connection.

Today, I practice both giving and receiving kindness. And I understand that kindness is a circle—it flows. When we shut it down, we stop the flow for everyone. But when we receive it, we keep it moving.

Let it in. Say thank you. Accept the gift. You deserve it.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Let the Kindness In

  • Do you believe you deserve kindness? Why or why not?
  • How do you show kindness to others? How do you feel when you do?
  • How do you react when someone offers you kindness?
  • What stories or beliefs might be blocking you from receiving?
  • What would it look like to accept kindness today—without guilt, without deflection?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can practice receiving kindness today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who struggles to accept support, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a gentle reminder that we’re worthy.

Our Dark Past Is The Greatest Possession We Have

There was a time when I thought my pain would consume me. Now, I know—it shaped me. Our darkest moments hold the power to help others find light. The only question is: are you willing to share them?

The Unimaginable Becomes a Gift

When I was deep in my darkest season, I couldn’t imagine ever looking back and seeing value in it. Survival itself felt uncertain. There was no part of me that thought these experiences would one day be considered my greatest possession. But that changed.

It wasn’t until I found recovery that I started to understand. I saw firsthand how someone else’s story could offer hope. One man’s courage to speak his truth gave me the strength to try and heal mine. His vulnerability saved my life. That was the beginning of everything.

The Power of Sharing Our Story

Early on, I didn’t believe my story held any value. I thought I needed to be “further along” to help someone else. But then, someone newer than me on this path looked at my progress with awe—and I realized we all have something to offer, no matter where we are.

Whether you’re in the thick of healing or years into your journey, someone else needs to hear what you’ve lived through. You don’t need a polished narrative or a perfect ending. Just your truth. That truth might be the very thing that keeps someone else going.

Letting Go of Shame

For a long time, I only shared the highlight reel. The idea of speaking about my pain? Terrifying. I feared judgment, labels, being seen as broken. But the truth is—I was already saying worse things to myself in silence. And pretending was exhausting.

Letting go of that fear and finally sharing my truth didn’t just help others—it saved me. The freedom that came from owning my past, rather than hiding it, was life-changing. The more I opened up, the more I connected. The more I connected, the less alone I felt.

Reclaiming the Narrative

Looking back, it’s almost shocking how much has changed. My darkest chapters no longer control me—they empower me. I’ve taken responsibility, found forgiveness, and made new choices. That transformation gave me back my power.

And maybe the most beautiful part? It allowed me to receive the light of others, too. I no longer walk alone. None of us have to. We can walk together—on our own paths, side by side—with the courage to show up exactly as we are.

There’s no greater victory than turning your pain into purpose. And no greater connection than meeting someone else in theirs.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Have you found meaning in your darkest moments? What did they teach you?
  2. Is there a part of your story you’re still afraid to share? Why?
  3. Has someone else’s vulnerability ever helped you heal? What impact did it have?
  4. How can you begin to turn your past into a source of light for others?
  5. What would it feel like to release shame and step fully into your truth?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.
  • Let your past be a bridge, not a burden.
  • Acknowledge your growth—and honor it.
  • You can help someone else heal by being real.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
How has your dark past shaped your present strength?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s ready to turn their pain into power, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Don’t Need A New Day To Start

We love to wait for Mondays, fresh starts, or even January 1st. But here’s the thing:

You don’t need a new day to start. You just need a new moment.

Back when I was sick, I would talk myself out of the very things that would help me feel better. I set rules and parameters for when change could begin: it had to be Monday, or the first of the month, or it had to happen first thing in the morning. If I didn’t start exactly the way I imagined, I would convince myself the whole day or week was ruined.

So I waited.

I waited for the right conditions, the right mindset, the right time. I raised the bar high enough to make sure I couldn’t reach it—so I didn’t have to try.

But what I didn’t realize then was this:

Waiting to be perfect was just another form of self-sabotage.

And I was the one building the prison around me—and holding the key.

The Shift: Start Where You Are

When I hit bottom—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—I couldn’t wait for another Monday. I didn’t have that kind of time.

So I started right then. That moment.

I got honest with myself. I told the truth out loud. I reached out for help and made myself accountable. That decision became a line in the sand.

It wasn’t smooth. It wasn’t pretty. But it was real. And that was enough.

I had to shift my mindset from “all or nothing” to “learn and move forward.” If I slipped, I didn’t have to wait for a clean slate tomorrow—I was the clean slate. I could start again in that same breath, with that same heart, right where I was.

The Gift of Failing Forward

Failure wasn’t the enemy. It was part of the process.

Your setbacks don’t have to send you all the way back.

They can become the stepping stones forward.

We are meant to fall. We are meant to get back up. It’s in those stumbles that we build strength, perspective, and resilience. If we can acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and keep going—that’s growth.

And that’s what recovery taught me:

Every moment is a moment you can begin again.

Don’t Wait. Begin.

There is no magical date on the calendar that will make everything easier. There’s just right now. And then the next now.

If you want the change, the dream, the life that feels just out of reach—go after it now. Not tomorrow. Not when things settle down. Now.

Because even if you fall, you’ll fall forward. You’ll fall into wisdom. You’ll fall into growth. And you’ll rise stronger each time.

You don’t need a new day to start, Slayer. You just need to decide.

SLAY Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • Do I wait for the “perfect time” to make a change?
  • How do I react when I slip or fall short?
  • What would it feel like to simply continue on instead of starting over?
  • Do I use setbacks as punishment?
  • What would it look like to honor my growth instead?

S – L – A – Y

S: Stop waiting for a better time.
L: Learn from every step, even the stumbles.
A: Allow yourself to keep going without starting over.
Y: Yield to the truth that your next moment can be your best one yet.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Do you wait for the “right time” to begin? What would it look like to just begin now—no matter what today looks like?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s putting their life on pause waiting for the right time, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Someone Is Praying for What You Have Right Now

It’s easy to forget how far we’ve come.

On the hard days—when we feel lost, stuck, or like we’re not where we think we should be—it can be hard to see our own progress. We lose sight of the blessings. We downplay our growth. We focus on what’s missing instead of what’s already here.

But the truth is, someone out there is praying for what you have right now.

Even if it feels small to you. Even if you’re struggling. Even if today doesn’t feel like a victory.
To someone else, your “hard day” might look like a dream come true.

Gratitude Lives in Perspective

Not long ago, I was sitting with a group of women I see regularly. One of them was sharing how far she’s come over the last three years, and she said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“On the days I feel low, I remind myself—there’s someone out there praying for what I have right now.”

That. That’s the perspective shift.

Even when we don’t feel our best. Even when things aren’t perfect. Even when we feel behind or broken or unsure—there’s someone out there who would give anything to be where we are.

Your Journey Is Worth Honoring

Everyone’s path is different. No two stories are the same. But most of us tend to minimize our own milestones, especially on the darker days. We often see our blessings last, long after others have already noticed the light within us.

But that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
You’ve come a long way—even if today doesn’t feel like it.

There were times in my life when I would’ve given anything to have the life I have now… even on my hardest day. I know what it’s like to feel like every day is a worst day. But I also know what it’s like to come through the other side—and forget, for a moment, just how far I’ve traveled.

That’s why I share my story. That’s why I speak about mental health and addiction. Because it reminds me—and others—that our stories matter. That our journeys aren’t over. And that someone out there might be waiting to hear exactly what we’ve been through so they can find their way forward.

Your Bad Day Might Be Someone Else’s Breakthrough

We’re all allowed to have our feelings. We’re allowed to be frustrated, tired, or sad. But we can also hold those feelings alongside a deep awareness of how much good exists around us.

There are people out there who would give anything for what we might take for granted. And that’s not about guilt—it’s about gratitude.

Gratitude grounds us.
It reminds us that we’ve already come through so much.
It keeps us humble.
And it helps us serve others from a place of truth, not perfection.

So even on the days when it’s hard to see the light—know that you are the light. And someone is praying for the glow you don’t even realize you have.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Are you focusing more on what you lack—or what you’ve already overcome?

  • Do you recognize the good in your life, or does your mind lean toward the negative?

  • What blessings do you have now that you once prayed for?

  • When was the last time you acknowledged how far you’ve come?

  • What steps have you taken to be where you are today?

  • How can you use gratitude to fuel your growth?

Your path has power. And your progress is worth celebrating—even on the hard days.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s something you have today that you once dreamed of having?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder of how far we’ve already come.

When Someone Tries To Shame Us, It Only Shames Them

Most of us have experienced it at some point.

Someone calls us out for not knowing something.
Mocks a decision we made.
Ridicules us for a mistake.
Speaks with just enough condescension to make us feel small.

Shame has a way of landing fast and hard — especially when we’re already feeling vulnerable. And in that moment, it can trigger an old, familiar ache: the part of us that once believed we were “less than,” “different,” or “not good enough.”

But here’s the truth we often forget when shame is directed at us:
When someone tries to shame you, it says far more about them than it ever does about you.

Shame is not strength.
It’s insecurity in disguise.

Shame Is a Projection Not a Truth

People who are grounded in themselves don’t need to humiliate others. They don’t gain confidence by tearing someone down. They don’t feel threatened by curiosity, learning, or different experiences.

When someone tries to shame you for not knowing something or for making a choice they believe was “obvious,” what they’re really doing is projecting their own discomfort.

It’s the need to feel superior.
The need to be right.
The need to appear knowledgeable or important.

And more often than not, that behavior is rooted in low self-esteem — not high confidence.

Shame is rarely about education or growth.
It’s about power.

Why Shame Hurts Even When We Know Better

Even when we intellectually understand that shame isn’t about us, it can still sting.

Why?

Because shame targets our most tender places — the parts of us shaped by past experiences, criticism, rejection, or moments when we were made to feel wrong for simply being human.

On the wrong day, at the wrong moment, someone’s words can slip past our logic and land directly in our nervous system.

That doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It means you’re human.

And it’s exactly why compassion — for yourself first — matters so much in these moments.

We All Come From Different Places And That Matters

No two people arrive at life with the same background, education, experiences, or opportunities. We learn different things at different times, through different paths.

That’s what makes conversations interesting.
That’s what creates diversity of thought.
That’s what keeps us growing.

It is impossible — and unreasonable — to expect anyone to know everything.

There is no shame in learning.
There is no shame in asking questions.
There is no shame in saying, “I don’t know.”

In fact, there is far more strength in curiosity than in pretending you already have all the answers.

When I Realized I Had Been on the Other Side

I can say this honestly: I haven’t always handled this perfectly.

Before I was living the life I live now, before I found self-love, self-worth, and self-respect, I had moments where I tried to elevate myself by putting someone else down.

And if I’m being truthful, I know exactly why.

I felt insecure.
I felt less than.
I felt like I needed to prove something.

Belittling someone else gave me a temporary sense of control — a fleeting boost that never lasted. And afterward, it always felt worse. Heavier. More disconnected.

Once I started living in alignment with who I truly am, that behavior didn’t just stop feeling good — it felt wrong.

Because when you build real confidence, you no longer need to steal it from someone else.

Compassion Without Tolerance

Understanding why someone shames doesn’t mean excusing it.

You can have compassion and boundaries.
You can recognize someone’s pain without accepting their behavior.
You can see the truth without internalizing it.

I don’t tolerate shaming behavior anymore — but I also don’t take it personally.

Because I know what it looks like when someone isn’t in a good place.
And I know it has nothing to do with me.

You Are Not Required to Know Everything

Let this be your reminder:

You are not required to know everything.
You are not required to be perfect.
You are not required to justify your learning curve.

There is power in humility.
There is power in growth.
There is power in owning where you are without apology.

When someone tries to shame you, remember this:
If it wasn’t you, it would be someone else.

That tells you everything you need to know.

You Control What You Carry Forward

You can’t control how others behave.
But you can control what you absorb.

You get to decide whether someone else’s insecurity becomes your burden — or whether you set it down and walk away lighter.

And here’s the truth that matters most:
Knowing who you are is far more powerful than knowing whatever someone thinks you should know.

You don’t need to shrink.
You don’t need to defend.
You don’t need to explain your worth.

Just be you.
That is enough.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s reflect, SLAYER:

S: Have you ever been shamed for something you didn’t know or a decision you made? How did it make you feel?
L: Looking back, can you see how that moment reflected the other person’s insecurity rather than your worth?
A: Have you ever been on the other side and shamed someone else? What was going on inside you at the time?
Y: How can you choose self-respect and compassion the next time shame shows up — whether from someone else or within yourself?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Have you experienced someone trying to shame you — and how did you handle it?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s carrying shame that isn’t theirs, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.