Many of us share our kindness with others. We give because we want to, because it feels good and because we want to make someone’s day a little brighter. But many of us have trouble accepting that kindness in return. We feel we aren’t worthy or deserving of it, yet we’re quick to see others we feel are. It is important to learn to accept the kindness that comes our way as much as it is important to share it with others.
Before walking this path I wasn’t giving much kindness to others, and when I did I usually wanted something in return, which may have played a part in why I didn’t think I deserved any, although on a day when I was in a victim mode I would say I deserved more. There was a constant game of tug-of-war in my head, of what I thought I wanted and what I thought I deserved. When I made a commitment to get better and learn to make healthier choices for myself I was encouraged to give back. Newly on my path, I didn’t think I had anything to give, but it was stressed to me that we all have something that may be useful or helpful to someone else, even if it is just listening to someone else after asking them about their day. That seemed like something I could do as I began my journey of being of service and sharing kindness with others. And as I began to feel better and had healthier tools to use in my life I was able to see more ways I could share kindness around me, but I still wasn’t sure about receiving it myself, even though, on this new path, I had been receiving a lot of it from those around me. There was a part of me that questioned whether I was worthy of receiving it or not. When I shared my feelings with someone I trusted she told me to always accept it, even if I didn’t feel I deserved it because by not accepting it I would be telling the other person they were wrong for thinking I deserved it, and, I would not allow them to give what they wanted to which they might need to do for their own self, and that it was actually selfish to not accept the kindness given to me. That put it into a different perspective for me. If I say no I not only take the act of giving kindness away from that person, but I am also insulting them for thinking I deserved it. She told me, whether I thought I deserved it or not, to always plainly say thank you and move on. As I practiced that, sometimes with a clenched jaw because I was still in disbelief that I deserved it, it became easier to accept someone’s kindness, and I could see how it also helped that other person to give that kindness, it seemed rather arrogant to think I should not give them that gift because when we give or when we receive both parties share in that positive experience, and, regardless of what is given, that in itself is the gift.
It can be easier to share kindness than to receive it, but perhaps the kindness you can share is accepting kindness from others, which in itself is kind. As we all have new challenges and obstacles to overcome it is important to focus on kindness, what we give out and what we allow ourselves to receive, we can all use a little more kindness in these days we find ourselves in, so don’t take away someone else’s act of kindness by pushing it back, say thank you, smile and go share some of yours with someone else. Kindness is a gift, pass it on. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe you deserve kindness? If not, why not? Do you share kindness with others? How do you do that? How does that make you feel? How do you think it makes others feel to share their kindness with you? How do you think it makes others feel when you don’t accept it? Would you want to feel that way? It is just as important to learn to receive what you so willingly give to others, in fact, it may be more important, because when we are the recipients of kindness we are more compelled to share that kindness with others.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you